This is a piece of speculative fiction and is not meant to infringe on the rights of Anne Rice or her publishers.

Spoilers for TotBT

About the names: Single names refer to the body, regardless of who's inside (except situations where it's clear that I mean the mind); when you encounter a combination, the first name means the mind, the second the body. For example: Lestat/Louis means Lestat inside Louis' body.

Try to picture the scenes, it makes understanding this madness much easier.

Louis looked up when he heard Lestat and Armand shouting at each other in the study. Sighing he counted to three and flinched when he heard something hitting the wall. He shook his head sadly. Well, at least they had stopped running through the house chasing each other and screaming threads. A loud crash could be heard, and Louis sighed again.

'This has to stop." David got up from the couch where he had been reading 'Hamlet'. 'They're going to ruin the entire house!'

'And, if I'm allowed to ask, how exactly do you plan to stop them?' Daniel wanted to know, looking curiously at him.

'I don't know, that's the problem.' David sat down again. 'Louis, this can't go on like this! Is there no possibility to make them talk reasonably?'

'David, you know Lestat long enough to be able to answer that question yourself.'

'No reason to be angry?' Armand's voice could be heard. 'No reason? You tell the world that I sacrificed myself for tissue worshipping and call that no reason to be angry?'

'Ever heard of poetic licence, you redhaired smurf?' Lestat's shouted response made the windows shake.

'My hair is *not* red!'

'We have to do something!' David said, catching a vase that was falling off the mantlepiece.

'Hiding in a closet would be an option,' Daniel volunteered. 'At least we would be safe there.' Another thump, accompanied by the sound of breaking glass and Lestat's and Armand's screams, made them all flinch. Then everything was silent. Louis checked whether Armand was still alive and gave Daniel a questioning look.

'Is Lestat alright?' Daniel's face went blank as he tried to read Lestat's thoughts. What he got was sheer puzzlement, mixed with surprise and panic. Obviously something had gone wrong.

'I think we should better check,' he told Louis. They got up and went to the door to Lestat's study. Louis reached for the handle when the door flung open. Lestat and Armand staggered into the livingroom, looking as if they had just got the shock of their lifes.

'Are you okay?' David asked. Lestat slowly shook his head and sat down on the couch very very carefully. Armand followed him, but stumbled and would have fallen if Daniel hadn't caught him. Louis looked at his lover and his friend.

'What's wrong?' Lestat and Armand stared at each other.

'Well,' Armand said,' there's been a little... accident.' Daniel rose his brows.

'A little accident? Details, gentlemen.' Lestat sighed.

'Don't get upset now. Lestat and I- '

'You mean Armand and you,' David corrected.

'No, I don't, Talamascan smartass. We- how shall I put this. You remember the business with the body thief?' David gave a short laugh.

'How could I ever forget that.'

'Very well. Now, something has happened and-' Lestat seemed to be at a loss of words, rather unusual for him.

'And we switched bodies.' Armand finished. Hearing two thuds, David turned round and saw Louis and Daniel lying unconscious on the floor.

Daniel and Louis were sitting on the couch, clutching cold compresses to their heads.

'I can't understand this!' David exclaimed. 'I mean, how did you manage something that foolish?' Armand - Lestat, he corrected himself- sighed.

'Can we have this conversation tomorrow, please? I feel as if I'd been put through a mixer, maybe it would be best if I went to bed.' He got up and moved towards the bedroom Louis and Lestat shared. Louis followed him, steadying him when he stumbled over his now somewhat shorter legs. 'Oh, and Armand, don't do anything nasty to my body.' Daniel watched them leave and turned at David, who was sitting on a chair opposite him.

'David, you can do something, can't you? Please tell me that Armand will not look like the Brat forever.'

'I don't really know. When I was still mortal -'

'Did you have to do that?' Armand hissed at his fledgling. 'Now he'll be going on until dawn.'

'Sorry, boss,' Daniel responded timidly, covering his face with the compress.

'...and back in 1715 a man claimed to have switched minds with a tree...'

'Could have been Mael,' Daniel snickered.

'...course there is no scientific proof that this is possible.' Armand got up and caught David's gesticulating arms.

'Listen, I'm not interested in your history lessons, I want my body back, do you understand! So start thinking of something!' David had to admit that a furious Armand in Lestat's body was by far the scariest sight he had ever seen.

'Perhaps if we can recreate the exact circumstances... what were you doing when it happened?' Armand thought for a moment and then pulled David from his seat.

'Lestat was trying to strangle me like this,' Armand took David's arms and put them around his own throat,' and I was kicking him like this,' David groaned when Armand hit his knees,' and then he let off a telepathic shriek and I tried to break his mental barriers- like this-'

Alarmed by the sudden silence, Daniel peered out from under the compress. His lover and David were both lying on the floor, a puzzled look on their faces. Quickly he went to Armand's side and helped him into a seating position.

'Are you okay, Armand?' His beloved blinked.

'What happened?' he asked, rubbing his blue eyes. His gaze fell on David, who had pushed himself upright. 'OMIGOD!' David slowly stretched his legs, looking rather cramped.

'Oh no, not again!' he moaned. 'I guess we managed to reproduce the circumstances.'

Daniel stared from Lestat's to David's body, trying to understand. And when he did, everything went black again.

Daniel opened his eyes slowly, afraid of what he would see. David and Lestat were bending over him, looking rather worried.

'Daniel, are you alright?' David asked and placed a kiss on his temple. 'Are you hurt?' Daniel flinched back when the other vampire tried to kiss him again, this time aiming at his mouth.

'David, what are you doing? Why are you trying to kiss-' The memories hit Daniel, and he groaned. 'It wasn't a dream, was it?' David and Lestat looked at each other. Finally the Brat cleared his throat and placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder.

'We will solve this problem as fast as possible, little one, I promise.'

'Didn't you say something like that before...' Daniel paused a moment,'...David, right?' Lestat sighed.

'Yes, correct. I suppose we will have to get signs with our names.' Armand/David smiled, and Daniel got rather nervous at the thought that his lover was now in a body taller than him.

'Daniel, caro, don't be so worried. If we stay calm, this whole mess will be over within a few hours.'

'See, Armand isn't distressed either,' David/Lestat said, giving his own body an appreciating glance.

:Of course he isn't:, Daniel thought. :He has been dealing with psychotic devil warshippers, not to mention Lestat, why should the fact that he is inhabiting another body puzzle him?: He knew that he was close to panicking already.

The door was flung open, and Louis entered the room.

'There has been another accident', he declared dramatically and slumped down on the couch.

'What?' Armand/David screamed. 'Are you saying that you lost my body?' Lestat/Louis only nodded. 'How could you let that happen! What if Louis gets one of his temper tantrums and decides to burn something? I might get hurt!' Daniel covered his eyes. This was simply too much for him.

'Could somebody please help me?' he heard Armand's voice. 'I feel a little... unsteady right now.'

'Louis, stay where you are! Don't move!' Armand/David was at his side in an instant, guiding his body over to the couch and placing him next to Louis' slim form.

'Am I just imagining this, or did something happen here too?' Louis asked and looked at David and Lestat. Daniel removed his hands from his eyes and sighed.

'They switched bodies too, just as you did.' Louis and Armand gave him a puzzled look.

'So... David's mind is in my body now, non?' Lestat/Louis said slowly. 'And Armand is inside my youngest fledgling?'

'Yes.'

'Well, at least my body isn't inhabitated by that imp anymore. Could have been worse.'

'Worse? Worse!' Armand/David shouted and grabbed Lestat/Louis' throat. 'I'm stuck in a second-hand body, how could this possibly be worse?' Louis/Armand cleared his throat.

'Erm, excuse me, Armand, could you please put me down?' Armand/David shot Louis/Armand a glance and let go immediately.

'Sorry, Louis, I got a little carried away.'

'Gentlemen, let's try to solve this problem,' David/Lestat said. 'We're all in the same situation here.'

'No, we aren't,' Armand/David muttered. 'My body is in the hands of a pyromaniac, and I myself am inside a body that hosted a body thief, Lestat, and David before. Anybody else got these problems?' David/Lestat ignored him and continued,

'I think we all should be able to get back easily.' Everybody's faces brightened up.

'So you have a solution?' Louis/Armand asked hopefully. David/Lestat nodded.

'At least I think so. If we-' The sound of the doorbell interrupted him.

'I'll get it,' Daniel said and practically fled from the room. When he opened the door, he found himself opposite to the tall figure of Marius.

'Hello Daniel! Can you please do me a favour and help Pandora and Santino with the bags?' Marius rushed inside, not waiting for Daniel's response.

'Sure, Marius,' Daniel murmured and went outside, where the other two new arrivals were trying to get their luggage out of the car.

'Hi Danny!' Pandora said cheerfully, handing him a giant suitcase. 'I didn't know you were here too, little one.'

'Hello, aunt Pandy. Allow me to congratulate you. I heard your book is a great success.'

'Oh thanks! And don't call me your aunt, it makes me feel older than Khayman.' Pandora flashed him a smile and carried her bags inside. At the doorstep she turned around. 'Santy, are you alright?'

'Mmmph!' came the muffled answer. Daniel walked around the car and found the Italian vampire buried under a heap of suitcases. He quickly removed them and helped the other up.

'Everything ok?'

'Si, grazie. I thought I'd die unter there.' Santino shook his head. 'Why do women have to take everything they find inside their cupboards with them?' Daniel gave him a comforting smile.

'Just be glad that you never travelled with Armand. He's much worse.' He picked up a suitcase. 'Can I help you?' Together they carried the bags inside and went to join the others in the salon.

Marius hurried inside, heading for the salon. David had told him that Armand was here as well, and he was longing for his child. He found them all sitting on the couch, looking a little puzzled. Well, they probably hadn't expected him that early.

'Hello Marius,' Lestat said. 'I'm glad that you're here.' Marius nodded, he had only eyes for the face framed in auburn curls. In one movement he had Armand in his arms and was kissing him deeply.

:Help!: Louis' frantic cry rang in the minds of the others.

:Louis, stay calm. We'll get you out of this,: David/Lestat sent. Lestat/Louis and Armand/David were watching with fascination as Marius deepened the kiss with who he thought was his beloved fledgling.

Louis/Armand was wriggling in the arms of the Roman, trying feverishly to break free, when he suddenly everything unfocused.

Pandora reached the salon, Santino and Daniel behind her. She stopped at the rather unusual sight.

Armand and Marius were both lying unconsciously on the floor. Lestat was checking Armand's pulse, and Louis prepared to give him the kiss of life, while David was trying to wake Marius.

Behind her, she heard Daniel groan.

'No, not again!' Daniel shouted. Santino gave him a questioning look.

'What mischief did Lestat get himself into now?'

'Hey, that's unfair! Why's everybody always assuming that I'm up to something?' Lestat/Louis pouted.

'Louis, I didn't mean you, but Lestat.'

'Daniel, you haven't told him yet, have you?' David/Lestat asked. Daniel shook his head. 'Listen, it's a bit complicated, maybe you should sit down.' David/Lestat took Santino's hand and guided him to the couch. 'By the way, I assume you're Santino.'

'Lestat, are you alright? We've met before, you know.' Santino gave his friend a suspicious look.

'Just sit down and listen, ok,' Daniel said, helped Marius/Armand up and placed him on the couch. Pandora joined them, a curious expression on her face.

'It's hard to explain, actually,' David/Lestat began. 'Somehow Lestat and Armand managed to exchange bodies. I don't know how that could happen, but during the hour this phenomenon occured some more times.'

'You lost me there,' Santino confessed.

'Santo, it's not that complicated,' Armand/David sighed. 'Just think of the body thief incident with four people switching instead of two.' As realisation dawned on Santino, his face became more and more worried. Marius/Armand rised his hand.

'There's one thing I'd like to know,' he said. 'Who did I just kiss?'

'Me,' Louis/Marius answered.

'Yes, I have figured that out already, but who exactly *are* you?'

'Louis.' Marius cleared his throat.

'Um, sorry Louis, I didn't want to kiss you... well, you know what I mean... gods, this is so confusing!' Lestat/Louis nodded and glanced at his watch.

'It's getting early, we should arrange the lodgings.'

'I'm sharing rooms with Daniel,' Armand/David stated.

'That's ok with me, but you should probably ask David first. He might mind biting marks on various intimate parts of his body.' Armand/David launched himself at Louis/Lestat and went for his throat.

'Armand, stop strangling me, please,' Louis/Marius said. 'I don't like the sight of myself being killed in front of me.'

'Hum?' Santino looked as if no amount of asprin could ever free him from his headache. 'Excuse me, but could everybody please tell me who you are?'

'I'll get some nameplates,' Lestat/Louis said, removed Armand/David's hands from his throat and left the room. Pandora, who had been silent until now, grinned.

'What are you laughing at, Pandy?' Daniel asked. 'This isn't funny!'

'Oh, it is, reporterboy, I assure you it is.'

'Don't call me that name, you know I hate it, kumquat!'

'Kumquat! Don't you dare use that word again! I could burn you to cinder with a mere snipping of my fingers!'

'Yeah, sure. As if you would do that!'

'Daniel, stop it!' Marius/Armand was getting afraid for the fledgling. But it was too late. Pandora had already thrown herself at the younger vampire and was slapping his face. Daniel tried to push her away, but wasn't nearly stong enough.

'Pandora, let him go or you'll have to deal with me!' Armand/David shouted and prepared to protect his child from his sister. In an instant he was at her side and pulled her long braid.

'Ow! Get off of me!'

'No chance! First you let my fledgling go!'

'Hell will freeze over before I do that, kiddo!'

'Shut up and move your ass!'

'Stop it!' Marius/Armand caught both his daughter and his son at the scruff of their necks and shook them violently. 'What the hell do you think you're doing? You are no children anymore!'

Santino had difficulties believing his eyes. As he saw this, Armand was telling off Pandora and David, and he seriously doubted his own mental stability when David, the British gentleman, stuck his tounge out at Pandora.

'But he looks like a kid...ouch!' Pandora rubbed her shin where Armand/David had kicked her. 'Not at the moment, though.'

'You will say sorry, both of you.' Armand/David and Pandora looked at each other. 'I'm waiting.'

'Ok, I'm sorry, Armand. And I promise I'll never do it again.' Pandora sounded rather annoyed.

'Yeah, me too.' Armand/David avoided looking at her.

'See, that didn't hurt, did it?' Marius/Armand beamed and let them both go. As soon as he turned his back to them, Pandora had her hands round Daniel's throat again.

'Bitch!' Armand/David screamed and tried to pull her away.

'Children!' Marius shouted and reached for them again. 'Will you stop this- oh no!' Daniel, Pandora and Armand/David had collapsed in a heap, and were slowly untangling themselves. David massaged his temples, took a look at the two bodies lying next to him and screamed.

'Help! It got me too!'

'Pandora?' A helpless nod. 'Just keep calm, I'll help you.' Marius/Armand went to Pandora/David's aid.

'This is Armand speaking,' Daniel said. 'Could anybody please tell me inside who's body I'm now?'

'Omigod, who am I?' Daniel/Pandora asked.

'Wow, what has happened here?' Lestat/Louis had returned with the nameplates.

'Another switch,' David/Lestat said with a grave voice. 'I hope you brought enough signs. If you excuse me, I'll be getting some asprin for Santino. Anyone else want one?'

Daniel woke up earlier than usual. He got up from the chair where he had spent the day in and looked at the others, who were still asleep. They had agreed to spend the night together in one room, because nobody wanted to let his body go out of sight. Daniel adjusted his nameplate - everybody was wearing one now - and made his way over the motionless forms of Lestat and himself to the door.

He felt rather strange, Pandora's body was different from his own. The long hair was disturbing, and the breasts were giving him a hard time. For one moment he thought about taking a shower, but dismissed the thought, being sure that his aunt wouldn't want him to see her naked body.

'Good evening, Daniel.' He turned around, facing Marius.

'Um...hi,...,' he peered at the sign,' Louis. How do you feel?' Louis/Marius shrugged.

'I still haven't got used to the body. It's strange, but I'm not as hungry as usual.'

'Yeah, me too. Seems that Marius and Pandora don't need to hunt that often.' Louis/Marius nodded in agreement. 'Anybody else already around?'

'David is awake, Lestat's body is used to getting up soon after sunset. At the moment he's trying to get out from under you.'

'I see. Want to come into the garden with me? I could use some fresh air.'

David had finally managed to wriggle out from under Daniel's still sleeping form. Armand, who was inside that body at the moment, had moved during the day, snuggling close and curling up around his body.

A quick scan of the surroundings told him that two others were in the back yard. Louis and Daniel, he assumed; they were in the bodies of Children of the Millenia currently, and David could only hope that they didn't do anything foolish. He felt safe about Louis, but it was impossible to predict what Daniel would do. Sighing, he settled on the couch and thought about a way to get them all back into their own bodies again. After some minutes, he got up, fetched some paper and a pencil and started writing down the mind/body combinations. :Alright, I'm inside Lestat, Pandora is inside me...: A loud scream shook him out of his thoughts.

'Help! Get me down!' It was Pandora's voice, which could only mean one thing: Daniel had managed to get himself into trouble. David raced out into the garden immediately, preparing himself for everything. What he saw made him wonder for a moment if he was dreaming.

Louis/Marius was staring up at one of the old, high trees, where Daniel/Pandora was clinging to a branch and screaming for help.

'Louis, what happened?'

'He wanted to try flying.'

'Aha.' David looked up to Daniel/Pandora. 'I assume he doesn't know how to get down again.'

'No, I bloody well don't! Will you help me now, for god's sake!'

'Calm down, Daniel. You'll be here with us in no time.' David had a hard time suppressing a grin. The situation was just too weird.

'What's going on here?' Pandora/David had come out too. 'And what is my body doing up there?' Louis smiled.

'Daniel underestimated your powers a little.'

'I see. Daniel, get down here immediately, or you'll regret it!'

'I can't!' came the frantic reply. Pandora sighed and turned at David/Lestat.

'Your body can fly, can't it?' David nodded, and Pandora ascended into the air until she hovered next to Daniel. 'Ok, reporterboy, move over here.'

'What, and let go of the tree? No way.'

'Listen, I won't have my body hanging in Lestat's garden for eternity, so do what you're told.' Without any more waiting she gripped him around his waist - first time that she noted how slender she was - and dragged him down. When they reached the ground, David/Lestat and Louis/Marius were applauding, and Pandora/David bowed.

Santino looked at the assembled vampires, sitting in the salon and listening to David's plans about how to get them back again. The whole affair was straining his nerves; never before had he been that nervous! The slightest noise made him flinch now, the former great, controlled coven master was a bundle of nerves now. He still didn't quite understand what had happened, but it was definitely puzzling him. Yesterday he had been talking with David, only to find out that it was in reality Armand responding him. And even that had changed already.
Lestat/Louis returned from the kitchen where he had been feeding his dog. Santino felt a little unsecure in the presence of the giant German sheperd; somehow he always had the impression that the dog was staring at his jugular with interest.

'Santy, can you do me a favour and walk Mojo for me please?' Lestat/Louis asked and slumped down next to Daniel's body. He put his arm around Daniel's shoulder and placed a kiss on the tip of the other's nose. 'Louis, mon cher, you look great.' He started tracing Daniel's jawline with his fingers when he was pushed aside roughly.

'Lestat, stop it.' Daniel glared at him, and Santino remembered that Armand was occupying that one at the moment. He seemed to be distressed too, otherwise Lestat would now be looking for various parts of Louis' body.

'Um, sorry Armand, I thought you were Louis. Well, can you, Santy?' Santino sighed.

'Yes, sure Lestat.' He picked up Mojo's lead, and they left the house.

'It worked! Hallelujah, I'm myself again!' Daniel shouted, dancing around Armand. They had been busy switching bodies for the last hour, until everybody was himself again.

'I'd never thought I'd miss this body that much,' David said. 'Thank you, Pandora for taking care of it.'

'Never mind, I felt rather comfortable in there. I can understand why Lestat has chosen it during the body thief incident.'

Lestat was grinning at himself in the mirror. 'I missed you so much, mon cher... and finally I got you back.' Armand snickered.

'Louis, is he always doing things like that?'

'Erm...sometimes.'

'Armand, can't you understand that the Brat Prince always needs to marvel at himself?' Daniel said with a serious voice, erupting into laughter when Lestat faced him.

'Shut up, or I'll turn you into a charcoil briquette.'

'Stop threatening my fledgling.'

'Oh, the smurf is getting protective.'

'Armand, Lestat, no!' Louis, David and Daniel screamed. 'You know that this whole mess only started because you were fighting!' Lestat was just opening his mouth to respond when Mojo came in, dragging Santino behind him.

'Santino, what happened? Are you alright?' Marius asked, freeing the Italian vampire's leg which had got caught in the lead.

:No, I'm not!: Santino's mind voice snapped.

'Why aren't you using your voice?' Mojo barked.

:Because I can't!:

'Santo, you're scaring me,' Pandora said and patted Mojo absent-minded.

:Stop hitting me!: Pandora pulled her hand back immediately.

'Santino?' she asked cautiously. 'Is this you?'

:Yes, for heaven's sake! Somehow I ended up in that bloody dog.: Marius and David exchanged puzzled looks.

'Erm, Santino, tell me just how you managed this.' Armand stared at the dog in amazement. 'You're really in there?'

:Stop asking stupid questions or I'll bite you.: Armand glanced at the sheperd dog and moved behind Daniel. :Now if everybody is done with wondering, can you please get me out of here?: Lestat, who had finally managed to tear himself away from the mirror, couldn't help smiling.

'Don't worry, Santy, we'll take care of you. You'll only get the best dog food, and Louis will walk you twice a night... I don't really understand what you're complaining about.' Mojo barked again, sounding really angry, and all vampires moved back a few steps.

:Listen, I only want to be my old self again, ok? You can't imagine how difficult it is to walk on these paws.:

'But how did this happen? I mean, we usually only had the problem when we were under emotional pressure. Did you fall in love with Mojo?'

:Daniel, I really don't feel like joking right now, so stop it.:

'But he's right,' Louis pointed out.

:Ok, if you have to know... Mojo saw a cat, dragged me down the street behind him barking like crazy. Then that damn beast climbed a tree, Mojo hit the trunk and came to an abrupt stop, and I crashed into the dog. The next I remember is that I opened my eyes and saw myself howling at the moon. I grabbed my body and dragged it here. The rest you know.:

For a moment everybody went quiet. Then Lestat met Daniel's gaze, and they both erupted into laughter. The others joined in, and even Louis and Armand couldn't help smiling.

:Can you stop this! It's not funny!: Pandora wiped away the blood tears.

'Oh it is, Santo, it is. I'm sure you will laugh at this situation in a few centuries too.' David cleared his throat.

'If you want, I can bring you back.'

:If I want? You have to ask? Get me out of that damn dog!:

'Alright. Marius, can you please rest Santino's body on the couch? Santino, come with me.'

The other vampires watched with fascination as Marius picked up Santino, who was at the moment sniffing at Lestat's shoes. David settled on a chair and told the whining dog how to switch bodies.

'Poor Santino, I've never seen him that strained before,' Louis said.

'Well, I think this is the first time he feels like a dog.' Daniel answered. 'Just imagine how difficult it must be for him to control the urge to chase cats.'

'Santino, I mean Mojo, stop licking my hand!' Marius shouted and slapped Santino's face. The vampire whined and gave Marius that certain puppy look that's almost irresistible.

'Ok, I'll count to three, then you switch,'David said to the dog at his feet, who barked in agreement. 'One, two, three - switch now.' Santino howled, and Marius was busy keeping him down on the couch. Mojo rolled on his back, whining.

'Did it work?' Armand asked when everything went quiet.

'I don't know.' David glanced at Mojo and Santino, who both didn't move. 'Santino, are you back?' No response. 'I think he's still in shock, but he should be alright in a few minutes.'

'I know how to find out,' Lestat said and went into the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later, carrying a box of dog biscuits. 'Let's see who reacts on this. If Santy wants one of them, we know that he's either still Mojo, or has developed a taste for dog food during that short period.'

'Don't you dare feed me these cookies, Lestat!' Santino pushed himself upright. 'Gods, I think I got the mother of all headaches.'

'Good to have you back, Santy,' Lestat said, patting Mojo's head. The dog looked around puzzled and padded over to his basket. Daniel nudged Armand.

'Do you think it's safe if I kiss you?'

'Don't know. But,' Armand continued when he noticed Daniel's disappointment, 'it's definitely worth a try.' He smiled and pulled Daniel into a close embrace, kissing him passionately while everybody waited for something to happen.