THE DEFEAT
(c) Vanessa DelValle, 1995


Hi, it's me again... oh please, don't get confused, I am not the 
Vampire Lestat. It's me, Scarlet. In my mortal years I used the
name "Vanessa", but it has now been long forgotten. 
"Mademoiselle DelValle" is what Louis likes to call me.  
For the rest, I'm simply "Scarlet"-- the name Armand has 
given me. 

I have a story to tell you. It's not a story of adventure and danger
like the ones  the Brat Prince likes to tell, it's a story of 
pain, love,...and defeat.
I consider this one to be my greatest defeat. I've never been so hurt
before...Stefano's death and the loss of my parents were painful, yes,
but I was still mortal when this happened--- I was not able to feel 
pain with the intensity  I do now. Please, don't misunderstand me;
I am not saying that mortals are not vulnerable to pain, they are, but
vampires feel pain in such a way that a human being would not be able 
to endure.

It all started soon after JoAnne's making, or maybe the night that 
I went to her apartment, planning to send her to the land of the dead...
What a fiasco! Had I only known what would happen next...
Maybe it begins earlier than that, when Armand purchased the book 
"Visions of the Dreamer" by JoAnne Soper-Cook. I don't know, I really
can't tell...all I know is that the day after her making I realized
that nothing would ever be the same for me...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Seattle, Washington.
 
	It was nearly dawn and I had not yet fed. I was still waiting 
for Armand to come back home, after being gone for two days. I can't 
describe adequately, the pain and the despair I was experiencing.
I found myself alone in the house for two entire nights.
I had seen Armand the night before but he had not spoken to me; I was
really beginning to wonder if he and Daniel would come back.     
But of course they would, Daniel would never leave me. He would 
come back, and with him, Armand.

	I couldn't stop crying. I walked around the house like a ghost,
entering Armand's room and then leaving again, after seeing that it was 
empty. I walked up to the attic and opened his coffin, wishing with all
my heart that he would be there... He wasn't.
	I ran down the stairs and entered his studio...he wasn't there
either. I was thirsty. I had not fed well the night before and my 
body craved for blood. I sat at the desk, opened the first drawer, and
there it was... that damn book again: "Visions of the Dreamer." 
I took it out and ripped every single page apart. Destroying her work
didn't feel as good as it had felt drinking from her two nights before,
draining her to the point of death...almost. Armand had come into the
room at the crucial moment, just when she was about to give up her spirit, 
when life was about to leave her body, Armand had come in and taking her
in his arms he'd  left. Why the hell had he gone there anyway! Everything
would have been so perfect; why did he have to come to her apartment that
night? 
	I would not give up... I was sure that I could find a way to get rid 
of her; sooner or later.
	And those dreams, what did they mean? Why was I seeing JoAnne in
my dreams? Was it her blood?  I wanted to think so, deep inside me, 
I knew the truth. I was so scared, would it be possible that Armand had
given her the *Dark Gift*?  No, he wouldn't do that... 
	I was wrong.

	"So here you are!" My thoughts were interrupted, and I knew that 
voice. It was Armand.  He was back. At first I was relieved and happy to 
see him, but something in the expression of his eyes...he was planning
something; I knew that look.  For all these years I had been a victim of his
cruelty and I knew that he had a *surprise* for me. 
	"What has happened here? Have you gone insane?" Armand said picking
up the cover of JoAnne's book. "Why did you rip my book? Are you out of 
your mind? And the carpet in my room, there's blood all over! I leave
you alone for a few days and you destroy my house!" 
	Great, so he was back. I had not seen him in two days, and all 
he could do was complain about the carpet and the fucking book.
	"I am glad you are back. I missed you." I said to him, holding
myself from running to him, throwing my arms around his neck. I wanted 
to kiss him, hug him...I knew he would reject me, he usually did, unless 
he wanted a favor from me. Then, and only then would he show himself as 
affectionate and sweet as only he can be. 
	He smiled.  He walked around the room and then sat down at
the desk, pushing me out of his way.  He looked so beautiful, and I could
tell that he'd fed well. His youthful face looked radiant, almost human.
His dark eyes shone with the fire of wisdom that I admire so much in him, 
his long auburn-hair was hanging loose, and the tight jeans he wore 
outlined his desirable body.  
	"I'm not very pleased with your actions, my dear. You almost 
killed JoAnne, but you know that... don't you?" He paused and gave me
his most charming smile. He was so calm, his dark eyes so serene. His mouth
was so inviting... I wanted to kiss him.
	"Armand, I am sorry. I couldn't help it, I was jealous, I..."
	"---Shhh!" He stopped me. He was already standing in front of me. 
Even with my vampire eyes, I was not able to see him move; he'd done it
too quickly.
	"Armand," I said again, taking a step back.  I could not stand
so close to him without burning with desire; I wanted to love him, to 
drink from him... "We have to talk, I've been having these dreams. I've
been dreaming about JoAnne, she...she is not dead... is she?"
	I paused and waited to see his reaction, wishing I could read 
his thoughts. I couldn't make any conclusions from the expression of his 
face... it's always the same.
	Armand smiled again. He paced around the studio, and then turned
to face me. His silence was beginning to scare me. Suddenly,  I was struck 
with a realization... I could feel Daniel's presence in the other room, but he
was not alone. It was not human blood I smelled but that of another immortal
being.  I could sense her presence and suddenly I knew her name...
	"JoAnne!" I exclaimed with terror. "You gave it to her, didn't you?
You son of a bitch! How could you do this to me?" I felt my body wavering
with anger; I was in a rage. I tried to walk out of the studio.  I wanted to 
get my hands on that demon and expose her body to the sun until she was 
reduced to cinders. Sunrise was near and all I could think of was death...
*her* dead!   Armand's hand fastened around my wrist with a strength that 
could have dismembered my hand from the rest of my body. It hurt.
	"Calm down!" He said, he was still smiling. My anger caused him 
pleasure, I could tell. "You brought it upon yourself," he said, releasing
my arm and forcing me to sit down on one of the chairs. "You went there, 
looking for her. You hurt her!"
	I was furious. How could he blame it on me now? "What do you mean
by that? Are you telling me that you were not planning to give it to her?"
	"No," he said, sitting down on the desk and crossing his legs.
	"Liar," I yelled, "you are a goddam liar!"
	Armand folded his arms across his chest and frowned. 
        	"You are calling me a liar? Why? Have I ever lied to you?" 
He said, giving me his most innocent look.
	I couldn't answer that question. There had been times in which I was 
not sure whether or not he'd been telling me the truth---For instance, 
not long ago when I asked him how much he loved me he'd said: "My dear
Scarlet, vampire love has not measure, either we love, or we don't. I love
you, but I cannot tell you how much; there are not levels for love."
I had thought about it for a minute and then decided that he'd been lying.
'Vampire love has measures; otherwise, why would he'd told me that although
he loved Daniel, he would never love any other creature as much as he loved 
Louis? 
	"Well, have I ever lied to you?" Armand insisted. 
	I closed my eyes and let my tears run freely down my cheeks. I shook
my head and then I said, "No, I guess you haven't"
	Armand stood up, and walked towards the door. "It's time for  you to
meet our new friend.  Please be kind to her." He turned to me and gave me 
a pleading look. "I don't want her to feel bad. After all , this *is* her
new home."
	I wanted to disappear. I wanted to crawl away, go underground...die.
	"Daniel," Armand called out. I heard steps walking to the studio.
 	When I lifted my face, I thought I would explode with ire. There
she was, JoAnne Soper-Cook. 
	Her beauty had been certainly enhanced by the dark blood...her 
silky-brown hair was a perfect frame for her beautiful face. Her green 
eyes shone with a new intensity, resembling two huge emeralds incrusted
in a porcelain face. Her skin still had a faint blush to it for she had only
been dead for two days.
	"Hello Scarlet," she said, giving me a dazzling smile.
	I couldn't stand it.:Why was she being so kind? Didn't she know that
I hated her?:
	:Scarlet, control yourself: I heard inside my head...it was Daniel.
	Only then did I realize that Daniel was also in the room; he
was looking at me with concern.
	"You, you told Armand where I was! It's all your fault!" I said to 
him with a derogatory tone, pointing my finger at him with accussation. 
	Daniel's eyes widened in surprise. 
	"What are you talking about?" He asked.
	"Oh, but you know very well what I'm talking about. The night I 
went to JoAnne's apartment, he found me there... you told him where I was"
	Armand interrupted, "He didn't tell me anything. I went there 
because I go... well, it was a habit of mine to watch JoAnne through the
window. Sometimes I even sat by her bed while she slept." He paused and
then turning to JoAnne he added, "I suppose you never really noticed."
	JoAnne couldn't hide her surprise. 
	"No, I never knew," she whispered.
	I looked at her one more time, and once again, I was amazed
by her beauty. Then I turned to Daniel and tried to apologize.
	"I'm sorry, Daniel. I should've known." 
	I felt really ashamed for doubting Daniel's loyalty---If there is
anyone among my kind that I can fully trust, then, Daniel is the one.
	"Well, well..." Armand broke the silence. "It's getting 'early'"
He said, trying to make a joke out of it. "We should be going to sleep."
	He was right. The first rays of the sun were beginning to reflect
on the wooden floor of the room adjacent to the studio.
     	"I don't have a coffin prepared for you but---" Armand said.
 	"No need for it," JoAnne interrupted. "Didn't you say you
read my stories? I will sleep in a bed. I will need to cover the windows
though." 
	Armand nodded. After reading JoAnne's book and stories he had tried
to prove her theory.
	"I hope this works. If it doesn't then I guess I wont be able to
do anything about it." He had said the first time that he'd tried sleeping
out of his coffin. I had been terrified, scared that he would get burned
by the sun. But he'd been successful. After a few days, he'd gone back to 
his coffin. "Can't get used to the bed, I've been sleeping in my coffin
for over 500 years." He'd told me.

	"Scarlet, please take JoAnne with you... to your bedroom. She 
can sleep in the bed, since I supposed you will be in your coffin."
Armand commanded me.
	 I wanted to say no; I wanted to argue, but by the tone of 
his voice, I could tell that nothing would make him change his mind.
I turned to Daniel for help, but he remained silent. Why the hell wasn't
he saying anything? He always had something to say. What had happened to
his meddlesome ways?
	"We must hurry," said Armand. "I'm tired."
	I remained motionless for a few instants and then, I was forced
to move when Daniel came close to me and after kissing my cheek he dragged 
me out of the room. 
	"Come on, cheer up! She's not that bad, I'm sure you will like her."
Daniel said to me, rubbing my back with his hand in a comforting manner.
	I wanted to cry. I hugged Daniel and let my sobs out.
	"Scarlet, you have to help JoAnne to conceal herself from the 
sunlight...Cover the windows." Armand's voice taking me out of my trance.
	I turned around and saw Armand, who was already walking up the 
stairs. Then, he turned around and smiling he said:
	"Scarlet and JoAnne, please don't rush to get acquainted...
After all, you have *eternity*."  He finished with a sarcastic tone.


                                   ...to be continued...