This assumes that St. Elizabeth’s was never sold and turned into condos. It assumes that none of the VC after M*mn*ch The Drivel and TVA ever happened. Much waff and m/m bonding ensues. Don’t like it, don’t read it. Pairings are Le/Lo.

All standard disclaimers apply. No infringement intended. Characters belong to Mater Gloriosa (you know who she is) No money, no sue. Nuff said.

Parings: Le/Lo

Rating: R or M for Mature

Like all good specs, it has a soundtrack. For insight and inspiration, listen to:

Ever the Same – Rob Thomas

Stay with You – The Goo Goo Dolls

Saving Me – Nickelback

What’s Left of Me – Nick Lachey

The Forbidden Spec

By Terri Botta 2006

*********

10

Louis made his way back to the flat after his nightly hunt. It had been six weeks to the night since he and Lestat had been bonded, almost four since they had begun making love, and he was hurrying home to his lover. He was a little worried about Lestat because Armand and Daniel had visited unannounced the previous night, interrupting a quiet evening they had been spending in the parlor. Their visitors had walked in on a very domestic scene of Lestat lying on the divan with his head in Louis’s lap while Louis had been reading. Lestat had been lazily turning the pages for him with a mental flip, but he’d practically leaped off the divan when the French doors opened and went into a full defensive stance. It wasn’t until they had realized that the intruders were friends that Lestat had calmed down, but even so, he’d been unsettled all evening because he’d been seen in a vulnerable position. Louis had politely asked Armand that they call before visiting the next time, either mentally or on the phone, in order to avoid another upset.

Lestat had been edgy ever since, however, and not even lovemaking seemed to shake him out of it. Louis had almost not gone out to feed because of it, but Lestat had insisted that he go. He’d relented, but only reluctantly, and quickly took care of his business. He was eager to get back to his lover and re-cement their bond with physical contact. Lestat was always a little rattled when Louis went out because it was the only time the two of them weren’t fully connected. Lestat afforded him full privacy while he fed but that meant the thoughts and emotions that they shared were dampened. Conversely, Louis only knew that Lestat was safe and whole, and could not read his mental state unless Lestat was panicking or otherwise distressed. It wasn’t until they were reunited that the bond fully opened again and they were able to feel the full effects of their connection. As a result, the first few moments of reunion were always the most intense for both of them.

He unlocked the carriage gate and headed up the stairs to their flat, opening the bond again as he set foot on the step. Lestat came flooding into him and he wasn’t surprised to see his lover appear at the top of the stairs. What did surprise him, however, was that Lestat was fully dressed and seemed prepared to go out.

.:Lestat?:. he asked, after the ritual hug and kiss welcome.

.:How do I look? Are the clothes alright?:.

Louis examined the jeans and long sleeved pullover. The jeans were definitely Lestat’s but the pullover looked oddly familiar.

.:Yes, it’s yours,:. Lestat admitted.

.:Ah. I thought so.:. He didn’t comment on the obvious implications behind Lestat wearing his clothing. .:In answer to your question, you look fine, Lestat.:.

.:Good. Good,:. his lover answered, raking his hand through his curls. It looked like he had showered and washed his hair as well.

.;Is something wrong, Lestat?:.

.:No. No, I… I just thought we would go out. That’s all.:.

.:Out? To where?:. He thrilled at the idea and he knew Lestat could feel his joy.

.:I… We’re almost out of the bath oil you like and I thought we might go to the store to get more.:.

He blushed. He’d known they were getting low on the oil but not because they were taking baths with it.

.:Ah. Well, that’s alright. I think there’s an open apothecary in the Quarter now,:. he agreed, using the old word for drugstore.

Lestat nodded, his expression a little distracted. .:Have you heard anything from Marius or David recently?:.

.:No, I haven’t.:.

.:Do you think we might… run into them if we go out?:.

He placed a reassuring hand on Lestat’s arm. .:Between the two of us, we can sense any vampire within five miles of us. If we feel them getting too close, we’ll come home.:.

Lestat sighed. .:Yes. I… I need to be ready before we have visitors. I… I don’t think a chance meeting with them would… be wise.:.

.:I agree.:.

.:They always look so… sad when they see me. Marius is so… disappointed in me.:.

He shook his head. .:You mustn’t think like that, Lestat. It does you no good.:.

.:But I am a disappointment, aren’t I? I was the disobedient son. I didn’t do anything right. I was reckless and foolish, and didn’t listen to anyone. I just barreled ahead and did whatever I pleased, so that… in the end… I’d needed saving so many times that when… when It started hunting me, there was no one willing to help me.:.

.:That isn’t true. David helped you. Armand helped you. Armand almost died helping you,:. he argued vehemently, not liking Lestat’s state of mind at all.

.:But they didn’t believe me! They thought I was some insane lunatic spouting nonsense! Yes, they came to my aid but neither of them truly grasped the reality of the situation.:.

.:From what the healer has told us, not even you truly grasped the reality of the situation. This Memnoch isn’t the devil. It’s an ancient spirit the healer has been fighting for centuries.:.

.:If that’s the case, why did it come after me?:.

.:I don’t know. The healer said something about your being full of light, and bringing you down would be something it would enjoy,:. he answered, flustered.

All the fight went out of Lestat and he wilted, his arms hanging limply at his sides. .:I don’t understand.:.

He reached up and stroked his lover’s cheek. .:I think that now is not the time to worry about such things. Maybe some night when we are warm and comfortable, we will ask these questions and see if we can find the answers. But now is not that time and we have other concerns to deal with.:.

Lestat intercepted his hand and kissed his palm. .:I love you so much, Beautiful One.:.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he fought them back. .:And I love you, Lestat. Very very much.:. He took his lover’s head in his hands so he could kiss the beloved brow. .:Don’t ever think that I think poorly of you. You are never a disappointment to me.:.

Lestat’s breath hitched on a sob as he wrapped his arms around Louis and held him close. He didn’t bother to bring up the past between them, about how they had both disappointed each other. They knew the history between them better than anyone, and he knew dragging the old pain up wouldn’t help the situation any. Thankfully his new ability to control what came across the bond helped him to keep Lestat from knowing his darker thoughts.

.:Beautiful One.:.

He pulled back, offering his lips up for a kiss, then took Lestat’s hand. .:Come. We were going to go shopping.:.

Lestat smiled. .:Yes. We need more oil.:.

He blushed again. .:That’s right. We don’t want to run out.:.

His lover grinned, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. .:No, we certainly don’t.:.

They left the flat, Louis feeling just a little apprehensive, but also excited. Lestat hadn’t left the flat since they had returned to live there, and he was both nervous and happy to be going out with him now. He tried to calm his nerves and keep them both loosely grounded so as to temper Lestat’s own nerves a little bit as they made their way down the street. The night was cool but not cold, and the evening would have been pleasant if not for the smell that the locals had dubbed ‘Katrina’ wafting in on the October breeze. It was a very faint scent, the odor of mold, rotted wood and decay, but it was unmistakable to vampire senses. Lestat’s nose crinkled with distaste the moment they set foot on the pavement, and Louis had to quell his own shudder of disgust.

Lestat looped his arm in his and stayed close as they turned down the Rue Royale. He knew where the apothecary was; it was one of those large, ubiquitous chains one could find in almost any city in America. ‘Generica’ Daniel had called it: the ability to go to places thousands of miles apart and see the same stores and restaurants. The youngster had loudly complained about the loss of individual local flavor and small, family owned businesses. At the time Louis had smiled politely and silently mused that such things would never happen in New Orleans. Then the chain stores started moving onto dilapidated lots near the Quarter and he knew not even the sacred Vieux Carre was safe.

They arrived at the corner lot where the apothecary stood with its white, stuccoed exterior and large, garish sign and Lestat stopped to stare.

.:When did they build that?:. his lover asked, aghast.

He shrugged. .:A year or two ago.:.

.:It’s hideous! What’s it doing so close to the Vieux Carre?!:.

.:The chain bought the lot, tore the old storefronts down and built that.:.

.:Blasphemy! It’s as bad as if they’d put a Wal-mart there!:.

There was a definite whine to Lestat’s thoughts and he tried hard to hide his smile.

.:I should burn it down, just on principle!:.

His eyes opened wide and he tugged on the bond just to remind Lestat that he had a secure hold on it.

“You will do no such thing, Lestat,” he scolded.

Lestat turned twinkling blue-gray eyes on him and he knew he’d been had. He frowned and gave his lover a stern glare.

“That wasn’t very nice of you.”

.:You’re beautiful when you’re angry.:.

He rolled his eyes and poked Lestat in the ribs.

.:Let’s get what we came for. You’re not fit to be out in public.:.

.:Want me all to yourself, do you? I never thought you were the jealous type.:.

.:I’m not. I just think it’s best if we get you off the streets as soon as possible.:.

Lestat preened and gave him a sly look. .:You are too jealous. You were jealous of David the night I was released.:.

He huffed and started towards the apothecary doors. .:I wasn’t jealous. I just thought he was an immature fledgling who thought he knew better than his elders,:. he clarified.

Lestat stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. .:You needn’t have worried, Beautiful One. No one could ever replace you in my heart.:.

He gave his lover a small smile. .:I know.:.

The store, once famous for being open 24 hours a day, was now offering limited hours and would only be doing business until 7pm, just another twenty minutes away. If not for the early onset of evening because of the coming winter they would have had to resort to less conventional methods of shopping. Not that a little breaking and entering wasn’t beyond them, but since the store was open they might as well shop the normal way.

Of course since it was pretty much the only apothecary open in New Orleans, the store was packed with mortals trying to get supplies. He and Lestat headed to the bath and beauty aisle to peruse the offerings, and tried to avoid getting too overwhelmed by the scent of all the mortal blood around them.

At some point while he was examining the different bath and massage oils, Lestat must have left his side because when he looked up his lover was gone. He turned around to search for him and could not see him in his direct view.

.:Lestat?:.

.:Over here. Beautiful One, come see what I’ve found.:.

Curious, he followed the ‘feel’ of Lestat until he found him in front of the ‘feminine products’ section at the end of an aisle. That in and of itself was a shock. What Lestat was holding in his hand was even more of one.

.:It says ‘creates a warming effect upon contact,’:. Lestat read, showing him the product.

He blinked at the small bottle then at his lover. .:Warming effect?:.

.:Well, it sounds intriguing doesn’t it? Warming?:.

He took the bottle from Lestat and read the label. .:I…suppose…:.

Lestat shrugged and smiled. .:It’s worth a try, n’est pas?:.

He gave his lover an incredulous look but put the item in his carry basket. Lestat grinned and raided the basket to see what else was in there.

.:Hmmm. Soothing Aromatherapy Blend. Mmm, nice. Exotic Blend. Interesting. Oooooh, Sensuality. Louis, you hedonist you!:. his lover said leadingly as he examined the bottles of oil.

Louis flushed and stamped his foot. .:Lestat!:.

Lestat blinked innocently at him. .:What?:.

.:A hedonist? Moi? What about you and your… your warming gel?:.

Lestat preened, tossing his hair over his shoulder lightly. .:Well, it’s expected of me, isn’t it? I’m always outrageous.:.

He smiled, feeling wicked and knowing no one else could hear them. Besides he couldn’t pass up a chance to shock Lestat.

.:No, leather whips and bondage gags are outrageous. Your warming gel is merely kinky.:.

Lestat’s eyes flew open wide, then he laughed, a real throaty laugh that he had to make sure didn’t get too loud so he wouldn’t break mirrors or burst nearby mortals’ eardrums. He found himself snickering until they were both leaning on each other, their foreheads pressed together as they tried not to let anyone else see the blood tears that brimmed their eyes.

“Oh get a room!” came an angry voice, and they turned their heads to see two mortal men staring at them disapprovingly.

Their amusement cooled immediately and they straightened up to look at their audience.

“Excuse us?” Louis said testily.

.:What is it with these mortals not minding their own business?:. Lestat complained.

.:No manners, my love. Absolutely no manners.:.

.:I can see that.:.

“I thought the hurricanes’d gotten rid of all you faggots. You sissies went running when the real trouble got here,” the second man sneered.

Memories of the night he and Lestat had returned to the Rue Royale flat came back to him, and he felt a sudden shock of revulsion and fear. It was soon eclipsed, however, by a red rage that came from his lover.

‘Oh no,’ he prayed and grounded. He was not going to have an instant replay of Lestat killing the two policemen right there in the store. .:Calm down, Lestat.:.

The fury buffeted against him but he remained steadfast until, in his distraction with Lestat, one of the men rushed forward and grabbed his basket.

“Hey Joe, lookie here. Massage oils and personal lubricant,” the man scoffed, sifting through their things. “Warming even. I wonder what they’s gonna do with it.”

“Please give that back,” he requested politely, although his own temper was rising. He was generally slow to anger but these two were really pressing his patience and Lestat’s own anger was kindling his.

The man grinned and held the basket up high. “Come and get it.”

He snorted and glared, deeply insulted. The look on the man’s face enraged him. How dare he think to taunt and harass him and his lover? Did they even realize how insignificant they were? How puny and trivial their existence?

How easy it would be to kill them both. He could murder them with a thought. How simple and effortless the act of crushing their skulls. Boil their brains and shatter their bones. They’d be helpless against him. Tiny worms writhing beneath his booted heel. He’d rip out their tongues and gouge out their eyes for speaking and looking at him and his lover with such contempt. He would show them contempt…

.:No.:.

Lestat’s voice cut through his fury. Lestat’s hand gentle upon his shoulder, bringing him out of his bloodlust-filled rage.

.:No, Beautiful One. That is not you, my darling.:.

Lestat kissed his temple, cooling his anger completely and he came out of it with a sudden gasp.

.:That is not you, my dark angel. You will never be the killer I am. The power to slay with your mind alone will never be something you use for petty revenge. No, my darling, leave the senseless killing to me.:.

He blinked and stared at the two men, aghast. He’d unwittingly placed them into a trance and now they were both frozen, looking blankly ahead with empty expressions on their faces. The reality of what he had almost done, and the intensity of his rage, filled him with revulsion and he nearly choked on it.

‘Mon dieu! What did I almost do? What was I thinking?’ he admonished, flagellating himself with his own guilt.

Lestat stroked his hair comfortingly. Odd how their roles were reversed, usually he was the one comforting Lestat and not the other way around.

.:It’s alright, my darling. I understand,:. his lover soothed, wrapping arms around him from behind.

He was still so upset that he was trembling, but Lestat quelled his shivers and consoled him until he pulled himself together. As he was doing so, the two men shook off their stupor and blinked at him, confused. Did they know, he wondered, exactly how close they had come to death? The wary and fearful looks in their eyes told him that they were well aware of their close brush with The Hereafter. Had they felt the fire licking at their feet? Had their blood begun to simmer in their veins?

“Go away,” he heard Lestat hiss in a hoarse whisper, then watched as the men dropped the basket they had taken and ran out of the store.

Lestat moved forward and calmly picked up the basket, bringing it back and placing the handle in his numb fingers.

.:Here, Beautiful One. Let us buy these things and leave this place.:.

He managed a small nod of agreement and let Lestat lead him to the cash registers. He was only dimly aware of when the pudgy-faced cashier rung up their items and Lestat reached to pay for them with one of his numerous plastic cards. The card was refused and Louis snapped out of his shock in order to deal with the situation. No doubt the bank had declined the card because it hadn’t been used in a decade.

.:The account has probably been closed due to inactivity,:. he explained to Lestat before his lover could become angry.

He fished several bills from his pocket, paid for the items in cash, and gave the remainder to Lestat so his lover would have some money. He thanked the clerk and took Lestat’s arm as they left the apothecary. Lestat was still a little rattled by the incident with the credit card and he could feel his lover’s concern over his financial affairs.

.:Your fortune is fine, my love,:. he assured him. .:I have been overseeing it myself.:.

Lestat blinked at him. .:You have?:.

He nodded, smothering a smile at Lestat’s surprised look. .:Yes. I’ve been working with your agents in Paris and London.:.

.:How? You didn’t know any of my accounts or passwords.:.

He bit the inside of his cheek. .:I didn’t need to. I merely presented myself as your attorney. I had the papers, you know, from when we…:.

.:When we lived together in New Orleans and I signed our investments over to you. I wouldn’t think agreements over a century old would still be valid,:. Lestat finished, understanding.

.:Technically they weren’t but I used a little… influence.:.

.:Louis! You did something underhanded. I’m so proud of you!:.

He snorted. .:Not really.:.

Lestat smiled. .:You said that my penthouse survived the hurricane?:.

He nodded. .:Yes. The insurance adjuster was out two weeks ago. Some glass and part of the roof needs to be replaced, but otherwise it’s fine. A little wind damage but that’s about it.:.

.:Let’s go there then. If my computer survived all of my accounts and financial information should be on it. Since you’re going to continue to be in charge of our finances, you may as well have all the information.:.

He smiled and let Lestat lead the way towards Dumaine. He was glad that Lestat wasn’t angry that he’d been working with his agents and handling the accounts. He hadn’t really expected him to be upset but there had always been the remote chance that Lestat would take offense. He knew from reading Lestat’s books, and from conversations they’d had later, that Lestat viewed his fortune with a critical eye. Having been nearly penniless as a mortal, his lover now valued his money, and he’d known that Lestat would have been mortified if he had awakened and found his millions gone. Louis had made the decision to oversee the accounts after Lestat had been catatonic for three years. With the markets doing well and certain futures looking particularly lucrative, he’d ferreted out the old power of attorney papers and took over the management of his maker’s wealth. Overall, he’d made some very wise decisions and both of their fortunes had prospered.

.:Tell me, Beautiful One, so I don’t get too much of a shock, is the French Market still there or have they replaced it with a strip mall?:. Lestat asked him suddenly.

He snickered. .:It’s still there, although I think most of the stores have yet to reopen.:.

.:Really? Café Du Monde reopened yesterday.:.

.:It did?:.

.:Yes.:.

.:How do you know?:.

.:It was on the news.:.

.:Oh.:.

.:You know I watch television when you’re out. I need something to distract me while you’re gone.:.

.:I know.:.

Lestat’s mood darkened and his pace slowed. .:I don’t like to watch the news. They keep talking about this war in the Middle East and something called Nine Eleven.:.

He paused and blinked, then realized that Lestat didn’t know about what had happened to the World Trade Center. In all that had been going on between them, he hadn’t thought to update his lover on current events, and, of course, the American news agencies assumed everyone would know what the 9/11 reference meant.

.:Nine Eleven is referring to a date, Lestat. September 11, 2001. It was the day two airplanes crashed into New York’s Twin Towers and destroyed them. Thousands were killed,:. he explained.

Lestat stopped dead in his tracks. .:What? How in Hell did that happen?:.

.:The planes were hijacked and flown into the towers on purpose. Another hit the Pentagon and a fourth was headed for the White House, but the passengers fought back and the plane crashed in Pennsylvania.:.

.:What lunatics would do such a thing?:.

.:The same ones who were behind the bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993.:.

.:Islamic religious fanatics?:.

.:Mostly,:. he replied and proceeded to tell Lestat all about the attacks on New York and the subsequent events. Lestat listened carefully as they walked with mortal slowness through the Quarter and did not interrupt him until he was finished.

.:I… see,:. Lestat said when he had completed his tale. .:I’ve missed a lot, haven’t I?:.

He smiled. .:Yes. You missed the turn of the millennia.:.

.:I did, didn’t I? Was it a party?:.

.:Oh yes. You know how New Orleans loves her grand balls.:.

Lestat grinned.

.:Oh, there were the usual doomsdayers saying the world was going to end, and there was an apparent glitch in the computer systems that was supposed to make them all implode at the strike of twelve, but nothing of the sort happened,:. he said dismissively.

.:Yes, I can see that the world is still here,:. his lover commented dryly. .:So where did you spend the turn of the millennia?:.

He shrugged. .:With you.:.

Lestat paused on the street. .:Louis, I’m touched.:.

He poked him in the ribs and gave him a sly look. .:Don’t be. I put a ridiculous party hat on your head.:.

.:You did not!:.

They both knew he was fibbing but the dancing joy in Lestat’s eyes was worth the little white lie. They were almost to Jackson Square and Lestat took a deep breath.

.:Ah! Smell that! I can smell the coffee and beignets from here!:.

He breathed in and caught the scent of chicory and sugar. .:Yes.:.

.:Beats smelling mold and rot any day.:.

He wholeheartedly agreed.

Lestat grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the river. .:Let’s get a coffee!:.

.:Lestat, we don’t drink coffee!:.

.:So? Has that ever stopped us?:.

He rolled his eyes and went along. In truth he was absolutely thrilled at Lestat’s enthusiasm, and didn’t want to do anything to darken the happy mood.

.:So don’t be a wet blanket and come on!:.

Café Du Monde was a welcome sight with her brightly lit canopy and familiar little tables. There were quite a few patrons there sipping coffee and eating beignets; some locals but mostly relief workers, law enforcement, and even a few off duty National Guardsmen. He’d never seen so many sidearms and automatic weapons in one place in his life.

They took a table outside, near the far edge of the fenced patio. It was hard to stay out of the light but he trusted Lestat to dazzle anyone who might look twice at them. A harried waitress came to take their order then brought their coffee and an order of beignets. He had no idea what they were going to do with the pastries.

.:Give them to her,:. Lestat commented, pretending to sip his coffee.

He blinked, then followed his lover’s line of sight until he spied the healer sitting with a number of officers from the NYPD at a cluster of tables nearby. She saw them and waved, whispering something to the man next to her before she stood and made her way over.

He did the proper thing and stood up as she approached. Lestat remained seated and ignored him when he admonished him for his bad manners.

.:I’m a feudal lord. I have no manners,:. Lestat quipped.

“Good evening,” the healer greeted. Tonight she was dressed in denim coveralls and long-sleeved turtleneck. A pair of work gloves stuck out of the pocket and her hair was kept back with a scarf tied around her head.

“Bonsoir, Madam,” he answered with a bow.

Quick as a whip, Lestat yanked an empty chair over to their table. .:Won’t you join us?:.

She nodded and sat down. “Yes, thank you.”

He resumed his seat but moved his chair closer to Lestat so that their knees could touch under the table. He gave her his coffee while Lestat pushed the beignets over to her. She accepted both with a knowing smile.

“Merci.”

Lestat waved his hand dismissively. .:It’s nothing.:.

“I’m glad to see you out and about. You look good,” she said to his lover.

Lestat preened. .:I feel good.:.

“Yes, I can see that.”

.:You’re doing a remarkable job with him,:. he heard her tell him.

He flushed and looked away, embarrassed. .:Thank you, Madam.:.

She sipped the coffee and smiled. .:No, really. He looks great. I didn’t expect him to be up to an outing so soon.:.

Lestat took a beignet and began ripping it into tiny pieces with his fingers. .:Nothing keeps me down for long, and, please, I’m the rude one here, don’t think you’re leaving me out of the conversation,:. Lestat complained, peeved.

“I know full well that you can hear me,” the healer replied nonchalantly, taking the mutilated pastry from his lover and eating it.

“So, how are you?” he asked her, redirecting the conversation.

She looked around her and shrugged. “Doing well. Surprised at the state of things. I don’t usually encounter such incompetence and apathy from government in developed countries. I expected this sort of thing in Indonesia, but I’m shocked by it here. This city will be saved by its residents and the volunteers.”

He nodded and took note of the plethora of relief workers and individuals from other police departments and fire companies. Representatives from eight different cities were seated around them.

.:The New Orleaneans will save New Orleans. That is the way it has always been,:. Lestat pointed out.

“Yes, it certainly seems that way,” the healer agreed.

“We are doing our part, of course. What we can. I’ve already given quite a lot of money to numerous relief organizations,” he added.

The healer nodded and took another bite from a beignet. “These aren’t bad. Bubba-John over there said I couldn’t come to New Orleans and not have coffee with chicory and beignets at Café Du Monde,” she said, licking the powdered sugar off her fingers.

“Yes. It is considered a tourist imperative,” he agreed.

.:Except that something’s missing,:. Lestat observed, his mood changing suddenly. It was almost as if a switch had been flipped in his head and Louis felt his lover’s confusion and sorrow.

“What is it, Lestat?” he asked, concerned.

.:There’s no music. There’s no saxophone player peddling for coins and I can’t hear the sounds of the street performers in Jackson Square. Where is the music? There should be music.:.

Lestat was right. The night was eerily devoid of the tunes and melodies that usually teased the ears from every corner of the Vieux Carre. No jazz bands. No banjo players. No traveling street singers. Even the famous Bead Man was nowhere to be seen. In their place were the artificial sounds of communication radios and the stomping of booted feet.

Lestat glanced around him, a lost expression on his face and Louis frowned. All of the joy Lestat had been feeling was gone and now his lover was experiencing confusion and insecurity. Under the table, he reached for Lestat’s hand and Lestat grabbed it and squeezed it tightly.

“Please excuse us, Madam. We should be going,” he apologized.

.:Yes. I want to leave here. Take me away from here. Please, Louis?:.

He nodded and stood up as Lestat stood as well.

“We wish you a safe and pleasant evening, Madam.”

“And you as well. Be safe. Take good care of him,” she answered with an understanding smile.

“I shall.”

Lestat tossed one of the $20s he had given him on the table for the coffee and beignets, guaranteeing that their harried waitress would sing their praises for the next week since the bill only amounted to about $8, then he slipped his arm around Louis’s and allowed himself to be led out of the fenced area.

Louis did his best to remain calm and patient as Lestat clung to his arm. It was only a short distance to Lestat’s penthouse at the corner of Dectaur and Dumaine and they would be there soon. In the meantime, he kept them both grounded and tried to soothe his lover’s wild melancholy.

“New Orleans will be fine, Lestat, you’ll see,” he comforted. “The people will return and they will bring back the music. I know it seems so quiet and desolate now, but the city will heal. I promise you.”

.:It’s like me. All smashed apart and scattered to the winds. Will I heal, Louis?:.

.:Of course,:. he answered confidently.

Lestat stopped and stared at the street around him, the silent, empty marketplace and the dark, vacant buildings.

.:I’m crazy aren’t I? Completely stark, raving mad.:.

.:Non. I think you are doing the best you can under the worst of circumstances.:.

The statement triggered a memory and he saw the brown-haired violinist again.

.:Like with Nicki in Paris. He said we were supposed to go down, but I refused to be defeated.:.

.:It was your indomitable spirit, Lestat. You were filled with light and he was darkness.:. As he said it, he began to understand what the healer had said about Memnoch being attracted to Lestat because of his light. Lestat was filled with light. He was a vampire with a bright soul, one that might be subdued for a while, but never conquered. Perhaps that was the key to everything, really.

.:Nicki was doomed from the beginning, wasn’t he. Gabrielle knew it. She tried to warn me but I didn’t listen. Why couldn’t I see it myself?:.

.:Because you loved him,:. he answered simply. .:He was your first real friend and you couldn’t bear to lose him.:.

.:He was my lover too.:.

.:I know.:.

Lestat looked at him, his eyes sad and old but beseeching. .:You know I love you more than I ever loved Nicki, don’t you?:.

He smiled softly. .:Yes,:. he replied, but an image of David flashed in his mind, followed by the nagging doubt he always felt when he thought of Lestat’s latest fledgling.

.:No!:. Lestat scolded, snapping him right out of his thought. .:I didn’t make David to spite you or punish you, and I certainly didn’t make him to replace you! I made him because I could. I made him for purely selfish reasons. I made him because I knew he’d never accept the blood from me in his new, young body, and I couldn’t stand to watch him grow old and die on me! That’s why I made David, Louis. It had nothing to do with you.:.

He pursed his lips and tried not to get angry. .:But there you are wrong, Lestat. Everything you do has something to do with me whether you realize it or not.:.

Instead of getting mad at him for such a statement, Lestat only fell deeper into his despair, and for some reason Louis couldn’t seem to stop it.

‘Probably because this is an old, festering wound for both of us,’ he reasoned to himself.

.:I’m sorry. I’m horrible to you…:.

He grabbed Lestat’s arm and shook it. .:Stop it! You went off. You did as you pleased. You switched bodies with that horrible mortal. You ran over all of us and I was left to worry and wonder if you’d been killed yet. Do you know what that did to me? And then the body that I had refused to turn showed up in New Orleans looking for me. Do you know how that made me feel? Even more so when I found out your formerly mortal friend David was in the body and that you were responsible for his being a vampire? Do you have any idea the kind of hell you put me through?:. he snarled, lashing out with his pain and anger.

.:I know! I know!:. Lestat cried, a mental wail screaming across the bond as a verbal one wrenched its way out of Lestat’s lips.

Black grief reached up to grab him and drag him down. He felt himself falling, felt Lestat falling with him; both of them caught in the siphon that spun them around and sucked them in. He moaned aloud and grabbed his head.

.:Louis!:.

Lestat’s howl snapped him right out of it and he realized that he was getting snared in Lestat’s anguish. Reaching out a mental hand he grabbed the edge of the pit they were falling into and snagged Lestat with the other. Then he grounded and shunted everything right into the earth. The darkness in his soul eased and he could think clearly again.

He looked at Lestat, his eyes wide at what had just happened. They were both panting heavily and Lestat was in turmoil, his emotions spinning like a whirlwind inside of him. Lunging forward he grabbed Lestat and hugged him tight.

.:I love you! Feel how I love you! Feel it!:. he gasped, sending all of the love inside of him through the bond.

Lestat shuddered and sobbed, wrapping his arms around him and nearly crushing him to his chest.

.:Louis. Oh, Louis…:.

A moment later they were rising, leaving the earth and flying upwards. He felt the wind rushing against his body as Lestat took them both careening through the air. When they landed on solid ground again, he recognized what was left of the garden outside Lestat’s penthouse. He had no time to lament the hurricane tossed plot of earth, however, because Lestat was dragging him inside, his hands everywhere at once. His clothes were ripped from his body as he was kissed almost brutally and pulled to the bedroom.

They made love on the huge bed in a feverish tangle of limbs. Lestat was almost desperate in his ardor, rushed and frantic to become one with him. When it was over they were both exhausted and they passed out, not even bothering to get up to wash.

********

When Louis woke it was well after midnight and he was achy, sore and covered with dried blood sweat. With a muffled groan he slid out of bed and made his way to the bathroom so he could rinse off. Once there, he nearly fainted at the sight of himself in the mirror when he saw the numerous bite marks, scratches and bruises Lestat had left behind in his enthusiasm.

‘Oh my…’ he thought, quite shocked at the state he was in, but then his mouth turned up into a smug smile. ‘Well, no one can say that Lestat isn’t passionate about some things.’

He sighed, working out the kinks in his back, as he turned on the hot water for a shower. While he was allowing the water to spray over his body, he fondly remembered everything that had happened earlier. They’d used the new warming gel and the sensation of it on his skin had been quite stimulating, especially since most of the heat from his kill had worn off by then. He had to admit that the purchase had been a good one.

While he was still in the shower, he felt Lestat awaken and search for him through the bond, then felt the blast of cooler air as the bathroom door was opened and Lestat came in. The glass shower door was slid aside and he was soon joined by his lover, pulled against the hard body in a tender embrace from behind.

.:Mmmm, warm, wet Louis,:. Lestat crooned, kissing his neck.

.:Warm, wet, sore Louis, no thanks to you. Did you have to mark me everywhere?:. he chided, but both of them knew he wasn’t serious.

.:Hey, you gave as good as you got,:. his lover answered, releasing him and turning so Louis could see his back. Six deep gouges were laced down along his spine from Louis’s raking nails.

.:Oh my, did I do that?:. he asked innocently.

Lestat spun to face him, his nose crinkled in irritation. .:No, my other lover did it. Of course it was you, Louis. Who else could it have been?:.

He smiled and tried to look nonchalant. .:I don’t know, Lestat. I just never knew I could be so… uninhibited.:.

.:Wild and sensuous you mean. You were a vision, Beautiful One. I wish I’d had a video camera to capture you in your abandon.:.

He was horrified and Lestat felt it. .:Never, Lestat! Promise me! Never!:.

Lestat took a step back, his hands up in surrender. .:Never, my love. I give you my word. Besides, if such a video existed then someone else could see you, and no one will ever see your enraptured face but me. That face is mine, and mine alone, my darling.:.

He knew Lestat was being sincere and calmed down.

.:Hmmph. I may just wish to finish my shower alone, Lestat,:. he said, turning away and putting his face under the water.

Arms came around him again and Lestat rested his chin on his shoulder. .:You’re lying and we both know it.:.

He sighed.

.:I’ll wash your back if you wash mine,:. his lover offered, already rubbing his shoulders with scented shower gel.

“Mmmmmmm,” he crooned.

.:Ahh, you’re a sucker for a good back rub. I’ll have to remember that.:.

“Hmmph.”

Lestat snickered and kissed his throat softly. He finished washing then washed Lestat’s back for him, being careful of the scratches, although they didn’t seem to hurt. When they were done, they dried each other off with the luxurious Egyptian cotton towels then made their way back to the bedroom to collect their clothes. Louis had to follow the path they’d taken when they came into the penthouse in order to find all of his garments. He even found what was left of his shirt lying in tatters in the rooftop garden. Lestat didn’t seem at all sorry for ripping it to shreds so he huffed and raided Lestat’s closet for a suitable replacement.

When he was finished dressing, he joined Lestat in the living room where his lover had booted up his old computer and was dialing in to check his accounts. The computer was so old that it was still running Windows 95 and the software was so outdated that Lestat wasn’t able to log into anything.

“You need an upgrade,” he consoled, petting his lover’s damp curls to soothe his ire. “Technology has drastically changed since you’ve been away.”

Lestat frowned and looked forlorn. .:Well, at least all my files are still here.:.

“There is that. Tomorrow we can go shopping for a new computer if you’re up to it.”

.:You need to call about my cards. My plastic cards don’t work,:. his lover complained petulantly.

He kissed the top of Lestat’s head tenderly. “I’ll fix it for you, I promise.”

.:Thank you, Beautiful One.:.

“I’ll make it all better so you can have far too much fun spending ungodly sums of money on technological marvels that you don’t need.”

.:Wallowing in my twentieth-century luxuries again?:.

.:Twenty-first century,:. he corrected. .:I think you’ll be dazzled by all the advances and new toys. This country is addicted to its technology.:.

.:How will I know what to buy?:.

.:We’ll call Daniel. He left me his cell phone number. He keeps up on all the latest gadgetry for Armand.:.

.:Cell phone?:.

.:Yes. Handheld, wireless phones that work everywhere. They’re standard issue these days.:.

.:Ah. I’ll want one then.:.

.:Why? You never talk. Do you intend to dial someone up and think across the line?:. he teased.

Lestat snorted but he just laughed, skittering out of the way when Lestat tried to poke him. .:Who’s being a brat now?:.

.:I was merely pointing out the obvious. I can see this now. You’ll get a cell phone and give it to me. Then anytime you want to call someone you’ll have me do it and I’ll do all the talking.:.

.:Louis, that’s perfect!:.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. .:How about you just stick to e-mail?:.

.:Fine,:. Lestat huffed, then asked suddenly, .:What’s Wee-Fee?:.

.:What?:.

.:There was a sign on Café du Monde’s door. Free Wee-Fee returning soon.:.

.:It’s pronounced Why-Fy, Lestat, and it means people can get a wireless Internet connection there if they have the proper equipment.:.

.:A what?:.

.:A wireless connection to the Internet. They don’t need a modem anymore to dial-in.:.

.:They don’t?:.

.:Non. Everything is wireless now. And broadband.:.

.:Yes! What is broadband? I’ve heard the term but I don’t know what it means.:.

.:It’s a high speed internet connection.:.

.:High speed?:.

.:Yes. Many times faster than your modem ever was.:.

.:Really?:.

.:I told you technology had drastically changed. We’ll get you a top of the line laptop with all the bells and whistles you can handle.:.

Lestat’s mood brightened considerably.

.:And we’ll get a new High Definition flat screen TV with satellite cable and digital recording so you won’t miss a single television program you want to see,:. he added, casually leaning against the desk.

Lestat began to get excited as he always did at the prospect of shopping. .:Oh, I sense a major redecorating in the near future. But we should do it here, Beautiful One. I want the flat to stay entirely French.:.

He nodded in agreement. .:This place has always been your Mecca for all things Modern.:.

.:Precisely.:.

He smiled and Lestat pulled him down for a kiss.

.:I love you, Louis.:.

.:I love you too, Lestat.:.

.:It’s 9am in Paris, isn’t it? Let’s call my man there and get started on the cards.:.

He checked his watch. It was nearly 3am and he was relatively sure that Paris was six hours ahead.

.:If that is what you would like, Lestat, but he may want to speak with you to confirm your identity.:.

“I’ll do it,” Lestat said aloud after clearing his throat a couple of times. Louis raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

“Alright then,” he agreed and reached for the phone.

Lestat took it from him and dialed Paris himself. “I remember the number.”

He smiled but tried not to let Lestat see. It was amazing what his lover would do when properly motivated. He just took a seat on the leather sofa and listened to the wonderful sound of Lestat’s voice as he chattered on with his agent in France. It had been ten years since the two had conversed, and the man had thought Lestat gravely injured from an accident (that was what Louis had told him when he first contacted him about the accounts.) Of course there was much to be said and many questions to be answered. He just rested his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes as the welcome tenor and sweetly accented French washed over his ears.

11

Louis looked at the calendar and checked his journal again, then rechecked it a third time just to be absolutely sure. No matter how he counted, the tally still came to seventeen. Seventeen nights had passed since he had last fed Lestat. He could hardly believe that he’d lost track of time, but with Lestat it wasn’t hard to do. Lestat wasn’t about to remind him, and he did drink some blood when they made love so it wasn’t like his lover was starving. It was just that he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t let Lestat go more than two weeks without a full meal, and the last time he’d overfed was October 14.

It worked somewhat in his favor because it was Halloween weekend and New Orleans was playing host to numerous stout tourists who had braved the hurricane-torn city for a little masquerading fun. Over the past few years the last two weeks of October had become a mini-Mardi Gras with events of all kinds drawing visitors to the Crescent City. This year proved no different save that the crowds were smaller and everything had a bitter edge to it. But events such as NOLA Fest and Voodoo Fest brought much needed revenue to the city, and the bedraggled and still shell-shocked residents needed something to celebrate. As such the number of potential victims had increased so finding two or three to feed from would be easier, and, since Lestat was busy playing with his new laptop and iPod, if he was out a little longer than usual chances were his lover wouldn’t notice.

Speaking of Lestat, he hadn’t been there when Louis awoke, and when Louis emerged from their bedroom, dressed and ready to go out, he found his lover in the parlor. Lestat was seated at the large armoire that housed his computer and he was typing madly away on the wireless keyboard. From what he could see of the monitor, it looked like Lestat was Googling something.

.:I see I’ve been replaced,:. he teased, walking over to rub Lestat’s shoulders.

.:Never, my darling. Just trying to find something on-line. I love this broadband! It’s so fast!:.

He kissed the top of Lestat’s head. .:I thought that you would enjoy it.:.

.:It’s wonderful! I downloaded an entire music album tonight and put it on my iPod,:. his lover said, holding up the small music player.

.:I’m so proud of you.:.

.:Don’t be. I had to IM Daniel to find out how to make the damn thing work.:.

He snickered. .:You always were more technologically minded than I.:.

.:I just find it fascinating. Mortals are really quite ingenious, aren’t they.:.

.:Quite,:. he agreed.

Lestat’s new set-up was quite impressive itself. They’d purchased a top-of-the-line laptop with every extra possible including a new all-in-one printer and digital video camera. Both the flat and Lestat’s penthouse had identical large, flat-panel monitors, speakers, docking stations, and wireless keyboards and mice so Lestat could plug the laptop in at either place. Both locations had broadband Internet connectivity as well. Lestat also had (in addition to the iPod) a Blackberry and a camera phone, although why he had both, Louis still wasn’t sure.

Giving Lestat a final kiss on his cheek, Louis pulled back and headed for the stairs. He was just at the top of the steps when Lestat stopped him by grabbing him from behind.

.:I love you,:. Lestat said, spinning him around and giving him a deep kiss.

.:I love you too, Lestat,:. he answered when his head cleared.

.:Don’t be gone too long and remember the parade is tonight.:.

.:I’ll remember.:.

One last kiss and a nibble to his earlobe then Lestat let him go.

.:I’ll be back soon,:. he promised and slipped out the door.

.:I’ll be waiting,:. his lover replied, sending a rush of love across the bond.

He smiled to himself and closed the carriage gate.

There was much merrymaking and activity on the Rue Bourbon. Dozens upon dozens of costumed mortals were milling about and he looked positively ordinary compared to them. There were quite a few individuals dressed up in the blue FEMA tarps or posing as moldy refrigerators, proving that New Orleans’ dark sense of humor was alive and well. Luckily for them, the vast majority of the reveling mortals were far too inebriated to be suitable victims so they were safe from his appetites. Actually, since he would be eating for two as it were, he knew he had to be selective and choose evildoers if he could because that was what Lestat would want. Only those who deserved to die should fall prey to his kiss (as if that made his killing of them all right.) His newly developed ability to read minds helped greatly in that endeavor and he scanned the minds of those around him.

Since he had started looking for his victims, he’d found that, while Lestat favored drug dealers, he preferred killing child molesters. He’d always been somewhat paternal, and Claudia had been his only child victim. After he had killed Claudia, he’d never touched another child in hunger again, and nothing gave him more of a thrill than to suck a ‘sleazy pervert’ (as Lestat called them) dry then whisper the name of the poor child (or children) he’d defiled in his ear just before he died.

The Quarter was too crowded and full of adults to offer up the menu he was looking for, so he headed out to the quieter areas where families with children could be found- and the predators who preyed upon them. His enjoyment of the kill had concerned him at first, but he was coming to accept it as part of the bonding process. He and Lestat were becoming more and more alike, and he wondered how they would be after a century or two of being so intimately connected. The last time Armand had visited, Lestat had quoted the Song of Solomon to the immortal teen: ‘I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.’ The statement was certainly true.

‘I am him and he is me,’ he mused, smiling softly as he passed the cinema where he and Lestat had watched a film together the previous Friday night.

They had gone to see the new Nicolas Cage movie about a weatherman who carried a bow and arrow around downtown New York. The previews had looked intriguing, and both of them had liked Cage in his earlier films, so they took the opportunity to support local business and went to the latest showing. Unfortunately, The Weatherman turned out to be mostly a character piece with prominent, if not outright heavy-handed, product placement. Lestat slept through most of it, waking up a couple of times to ask if Cage had shot anyone with the bow and arrow yet. Finally he told Louis to wake him up ‘When something actually happens or it’s over. Whichever comes first.’ Afterwards, they’d walked back to the flat and engaged in much more… exciting pursuits.

They hadn’t made love since but judging by the emotion behind Lestat’s kiss that would change just as soon as he got home. Being that he had never fed Lestat and made love with him on the same night, the evening had the potential to turn out quite interesting. The thought excited him just a little bit so he quickened his pace.

Two hours and three men of questionable repute later, he returned to the Rue Royale. He was getting better at handling all of the extra blood and didn’t stagger home like a drunkard anymore, but he still experienced the lightheadedness and lack of fine motor control. He tripped on the first step up to the flat and had to grab for the handrail before he went down. He caught himself in time and managed to steady his feet when Lestat appeared at the top of the stairs.

.:Louis,:. Lestat said, his mindvoice almost a purr as his lips turned up in a sensuous smile.

He smiled back and climbed the steps, holding tightly onto the rail until he was at the top. Lestat waited for him and leaned forward to smell his throat.

.:Mmmmmm, I can smell the blood on you,:. his lover crooned, inhaling deeply right next to Louis’s jugular.

He sighed and arched his neck, letting Lestat breathe in his scent. A moment later, his lover’s arms were coming around him, and he was being drawn into the flat as Lestat kissed him.

.:Mmmmm. You taste so good,:. Lestat told him, licking the inside of his mouth, spending extra time running his tongue over Louis’s fangs.

.:I fed for you,:. he said, closing his eyes as he shivered with pleasure.

.:I know. I just don’t know what I should do first,:. Lestat replied, picking him up and carrying him to their bedroom where he was placed tenderly on the bed. .:Have my dinner or my dessert…:.

He chuckled then gasped when Lestat bit him and took two deep draws from his vein.

.:Dinner first then?:. he asked, his heart pounding.

.:Non. Both,:. his lover answered, beginning to undress him.

He arched underneath Lestat and moaned, fisting his hands into the bedclothes as Lestat seduced him. His recent feeding had made his body warm and pliant, and he was finding that Lestat’s attentions felt very different. It was as if everything was heightened, each sensation more pronounced and keen. Lestat had him writhing in no time, and he could barely contain himself when his lover claimed him.

The heat from his stolen blood made the warming gel feel almost as if it were burning him, and the friction from Lestat’s movements was incredible. When his lover bit him and began to feed as they coupled, he almost screamed. He was in ecstasy, spiraling higher and higher from the pleasure of their lovemaking and the swoon of Lestat’s bite. His breath came in panting gasps and he heard himself crying out, unable to keep silent as Lestat sent him into raptures.

There came a moment when he felt something building inside of him, an increasing pressure in his lower abdomen that he had never experienced before. Of course, all of the other times they had made love had been after most of his stolen heat had worn off so he’d never been in a position where he had been warm, let alone so full. It was blatantly obvious to him that it made a significant difference in the sensations he felt.

The coiling in his belly tightened, the muscles taut and hard. The feeling wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, but he knew he hadn’t felt it in a very, very long time. His eyes opened wide when he realized what was happening and his green eyes met Lestat’s blue. Lestat had finished feeding, taking all he probably would from him, and was now looking directly at him, his eyes intense and his mouth turned up into a knowing smile. Lestat knew exactly what he was doing and exactly what was happening. He cried out as Lestat drove him to it, his hands gripping his lover’s arms so tightly his fingers were sure to leave bruises.

His eyes grew wider and wider and he bit his lip as the pressure became almost unbearable. The scent of his blood drove Lestat mad, and his lover’s mouth came down upon his throat, biting him once again and sending him back into the swoon. He threw back his head, mouth open and eyes rolled back as Lestat pushed him over the edge. The coiling spring inside him suddenly snapped, and a rush of pleasure ricocheted through him as he let out a strangled scream and felt a splash of liquid on his abdomen.

He felt Lestat release him and lift up. He was still stunned, unable to think or move, then he managed to raise his head high enough to look and see the streak of red across his white flesh, glistening against his quivering muscles. Lestat saw it too and was grinning like mad, then his lips were claimed in a searing kiss as Lestat disengaged only to slide down his body and lick away the evidence of his completion.

.:I satisfied you,:. Lestat said, happy contentment coming across the bond.

He couldn’t deny it, although he was still reeling from the shock, his thoughts almost incoherent.

.:I… I…:.

Lestat moved to kiss him again, hands smoothing his hair as his lover cajoled him.

.:There, there, Beautiful One. Just take a few deep breaths and relax.:.

Snapping out of it, he drew breath in great, heaving gasps, and clung to Lestat like a lifeline as Lestat wrapped arms around him and crooned into his ear.

“Easy, my darling. Easy,” Lestat soothed, knowing Louis would calm at the sound of his voice.

“Lestat…” he stammered, struggling for words.

“Hush. I know. I know.”

.:Lestat, what just happened?:.

Lestat chuckled. .:You mean you don’t know?:.

.:Damnit, of course I know! What I want to know is why! It’s never happened before.:.

.:You’ve never been so full of blood before,:. Lestat pointed out.

.:Is that it then? Did it happen because I was fed?:.

.:Makes the most sense, doesn’t it?:.

.:I… I suppose…:.

.:My guess is the only way to be certain is to do it like this again.:. The mindvoice was sly and sensuous, laced with amorous thoughts and images.

.:Lestat! I am not going to go out and kill three people just so I… so I can…:. he argued, feeling guilty and defensive.

Lestat shushed him. .:I was suggesting nothing of the sort. I know that you do this only to feed me, and for that I am grateful, although we both know I don’t really need the blood. I’m just saying that it is a new aspect of this relationship that we can explore.:.

He calmed, the spinning in his head finally settling down and allowing him to think clearly. .:Yes. I would agree to that.:.

.:We might discover that you don’t need to be so overfed. Don’t forget that I had already taken quite a bit from you before it happened. It may be that you just need to be warm and sated when we join:.

.:You mean we should try it right after I get home?:.

.:Exactly. It gives me a reason to grab you the moment you walk in the door instead of ‘giving you your space’ like I have been. Now I can do what I want and pounce on you right away.:.

The tone of Lestat’s mindvoice was teasing and playful, and he knew his lover was doing it to prod him out of his confusion and guilt. It worked. He lifted up suddenly, pushing Lestat in the chest as he rolled them both over. They landed with him on top of Lestat, straddling his hips as his lover grinned up at him.

.:Pounce on me, hm?:. he said slyly.

.:Louis! You’re so strong!:.

It was true that he was getting stronger because of their bond, but they both knew that Lestat had let him push him over.

.:True,:. Lestat admitted. .:Still, I don’t mind you being there at all.:.

An image flashed in his mind of their roles being reversed during lovemaking and he felt Lestat’s interest and longing. It was followed by regret.

.:I can’t,:. he answered. .:I’m not hard enough.:.

No matter how much stronger he’d become, his flesh still could not match the marble hardness of his lover’s white skin. In his current state, he had no chance of being able to penetrate Lestat’s body.

.:I know,:. Lestat said. .:But you will be. Until then, I can wait.:.

More images came across, faded memories of Lestat’s mortal life when he and Nicki had lived together in Paris. At that time, it was Lestat who had been in the receiving position, submitting to Nicolas’s often violent attentions. Even though the rough sex had hurt, Lestat had enjoyed being possessed, but it was because of his remembered pain that he had taken such care with Louis to make sure that their couplings never caused him undue discomfort.

He was shocked to discover that he was the first man Lestat had ever been dominant with in bed.

.:Why does that surprise you so?:. Lestat asked.

.:I don’t know. I just thought that you’d always want to be in control, that’s all.:.

His lover gave him a look then rolled his eyes. .:You should know better by now.:.

.:Of course, but before now, I would never have known. It’s not like you actually admitted it.:.

.:But I showed you. I showed you a hundred different ways. If you had accepted my love, I would have given you anything.:.

.:I know,:. he soothed, petting Lestat’s chest. .:And you know that you are the only one I have ever let touch me in the way that you do. I was never with a man when I was mortal, and I would not have tolerated any whore who tried to touch me there.:.

Lestat smiled. .:I know. Your rosebud blooms only for me.:.

He snorted, not sure what he thought about that particular part of his body being compared to a flower.

.:But it is. And it’s my flower. I’m the only one you’ve ever had. I’m honored that you allowed me to be your first.:.

.:My only,:. he corrected.

.:Your only,:. Lestat repeated, pulling him down for a heated kiss.

He struggled only a little before giving in and allowing himself to be wooed.

.:Again?:. he asked, surprised.

.:The first time was rushed. I’m ready for seconds.:.

.:You’re always ready,:. he teased.

.:It is a convenient side effect of my condition, yes,:. Lestat admitted, performing the same move Louis had used to switch their positions, then his mouth came down to lick his breast, making him shiver.

.:Lestat,:. he sighed, moaning with pleasure.

.:You’re still warm. I might be able to satisfy you again.:.

.:I… I don’t know if that’s possible.:.

.:Maybe not, but we’d have fun trying.:.

He had to admit that his lover was telling the truth, and eagerly surrendered to his beloved’s attentions.

12

Louis ran. The late November wind whipped through his long hair as he raced through the Quarter, heart pumping, mind giddy with joy. He didn’t know where Lestat was; his lover had vanished a few blocks back and Louis suspected that he’d taken a different route home. He leaped up, letting the air support him for a moment then reached inside for the power and focused on his destination. He’d never tried it without Lestat before but his good mood gave him courage. When he landed he discovered that he was on the Rue Royale right across from their flat. Laughing and flush with triumph, he rushed for the carriage gate, using his mind to unlatch the lock.

A heavy weight hit him from behind as he was grabbed and spun around, and he barely had time to snicker before Lestat’s mouth was upon his, hot and demanding. His lover had fed, finally returning to the hunt after weeks of refusals, and he could taste Lestat’s kill on his lips. He groaned and began clawing at Lestat’s clothes.

.:I want you now!:. he cried.

In an instant they were inside, Lestat pressing him to the stairway wall as they devoured each other’s mouths. He ripped off Lestat’s t-shirt in his passion and earned a mental rebuke.

.:I’ll get you for that.:.

.:I’m sure.:.

He struggled and freed himself long enough to stumble up the stairs with Lestat at his heels. They didn’t even bother to head for the bedroom as Lestat took him up again and braced him against the back of the divan. His shirt was torn from his body and tossed in pieces on the carpet. He didn’t even bother to protest.

.:Turn about is fair play, my darling,:. Lestat teased.

.:Like you need a reason to rip my clothes off,:. he bantered back.

.:Look who’s talking.:.

Their hands were frantic and demanding as he felt his pants being opened and forced down his legs. Lestat didn’t even take off his shoes for him as the garment pooled around his ankles so he kicked off one shoe himself and let the trousers drop off his foot. Then he felt Lestat mentally fetch the warming gel from the little drawer in the secretary where they kept one of their many bottles, and begin working it into him. He strained and hitched his legs up around Lestat’s waist.

.:Hurry!:.

.:Patience, my darling. You know I won’t rush this.:.

He sobbed and clutched Lestat’s shoulders, teetering on the knife-edge of pleasure until Lestat took him. He cried out as the breath was forced from his lungs and arched in ecstasy as his lover drove him towards his satisfaction.

They had learned that Lestat had been right. He only needed to be warm and recently fed for the sensations of their lovemaking to be heightened and for him to reach completion. So now when they coupled they always did so immediately after returning home. It didn’t happen every night, but on the nights that it did, their appetites were usually whetted and ravenous, the first bout heated and fast with another joining (one much slower and less intense) occurring later in the evening.

Lestat held off biting him until the last moment, when the bite would send him into the swoon just before he climaxed. Sometimes his lover was almost insane with bloodlust, pleading to be allowed to bite, but he always waited until Louis gave him permission, only sinking his teeth in when Louis was ready. Tonight was one of those nights when Lestat was impatient and desperate to have him. It brought such wild abandon to their joining. He loved it.

.:Please, Louis. Please, please, please…:.

He arched his throat, clinging to Lestat as Lestat’s hands supported him from underneath. His thighs were wrapped around Lestat’s hips, his rump balanced on the back of the divan. Lestat’s movements were fast and hard, just the way he wanted them, and he knew it would not be long.

.:Louis! Please!:. Lestat begged.

He gasped and lifted his legs higher, driving Lestat deeper as he felt the pressure building. He let Lestat take him closer and closer to the edge, gripping hard and holding on, until he finally felt the spring begin to release.

.:Now! Now, Lestat! Now!:.

Lestat groaned in relief and bit him, driving his fangs deep into Louis’s jugular. He screamed as rapture flooded through him, his body convulsing and shuddering violently.

When the red haze of lust finally cleared, he was trembling and Lestat was tenderly licking his neck, holding him steady and crooning softly under his breath. He panted, allowing himself to come down from the rush as Lestat kissed him gently and caressed his face.

.:There, there, my darling.:.

.:Lestat…:.

“Mmmmmmm,” his lover moaned as they petted each other and relaxed.

As always after they had made love like this, Lestat disengaged slowly and moved to lick away the evidence. He watched, languid and satisfied, as his lover dropped to his knees and began lapping up the red streaks across his skin. His abdominal muscles quivered when the tongue touched them but the sensation was anything but ticklish. He sighed and lowered his legs, reaching back to grip the edge of the divan so he didn’t topple backwards.

Lestat finished his ministrations and looked up at him, his blue-grey eyes shining with love and happiness. Lestat adored satisfying him; it brought his lover great pride and seriously stroked his ego. He smiled down at him and sent love across the bond.

.:I love you,:. he said.

.:And I love you, Beautiful One.:.

He was so happy, so utterly content in that moment, then he raised his head and looked behind them to the hallway that led to the bedrooms and froze in horror. David was standing there, his face a mask of shock, and it was obvious that his brother had witnessed the entire intimate scene.

.:Mon dieu!:.

Lestat was already moving, rising to his feet and spinning around to shield him as he slid off the divan and began hastily yanking up his trousers. He heard Lestat snarling, but nothing was coming from David, not even thoughts.

‘Must be stunned speechless,’ he decided.

Once he was decent, even though he was still topless, he gently pushed past Lestat and faced his brother.

“David,” he said. ‘What are you doing here?’ he wanted to add, but didn’t.

David’s mouth was open, then he moved it like a gaping fish as he struggled for words.

“I… I…” he stammered.

They said nothing. David was in their home and they had no need to explain their behavior to him. He grounded just to be sure because Lestat was furious and it was only his love for David that kept him from tearing the fledgling limb from limb. If it had been anyone else, Lestat would probably have killed him instantly. How fortunate for David.

Lestat growled.

‘Or maybe not.’

“I… I think I should go,” David finally managed, standing ramrod straight like an offended Englishman.

“Yes,” he agreed. “I think you should.”

David vanished in a blur of white and brown, going out the French doors he had come in. Lestat slammed them closed behind him with a mental pulse, rattling the panes of glass and almost breaking them.

.:I swear I am going to get a padlock for those things! What is it with coven members thinking they can just waltz in here whenever they damn-well please?:. his lover raged, eyes blazing.

A fire leaped to life in the hearth, the dry wood snapping and popping with sparks. He grounded again and reined Lestat in, dampening his rage a little.

.:It’s alright. He’s gone now.:.

.:He’ll be back. No doubt he’s gone to tell Marius and they’ll both be at our door tomorrow night.:.

.:And we’ll tell them to mind their own business. It’s no concern of theirs what we do in the privacy of our own home.:.

Lestat snarled and paced. .:Oh they’ll make it their business. Marius loves to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong. Look at what he had me do to you! If he hadn’t told me to make you weak and keep you ignorant, would you have ever risen up against me?:.

He winced, hating when Lestat brought up the past because the emotions were so strong and jumbled for both of them. .:I don’t know. You were rather horrible back then.:.

.:I was a right bastard and I know it.:.

.:You had your reasons,:. he admitted sullenly, looking away. His emotions were in turmoil, roiling and fighting with each other to see which would gain supremacy: his embarrassment at being seen making love or his anger that their privacy had been violated. Not to mention that Lestat was swinging between rage and anguish, his lover’s own inherent insecurity adding fuel to the fire.

Lestat must have sensed his upset because he came to him and took his hands, kissing them. .:I swear to you that I will never be that bastard ever again.:.

.:I know,:. he replied, smiling, the simple gesture easing his own pain. .:Besides, if you were, you know I’d slap you.:.

.:And I’d thank you for it and ask for more,:. his lover agreed, kissing him. .:Never again, my darling. I will never mistreat you ever again.:.

He sighed and pressed his cheek to Lestat’s shoulder, closing his eyes as Lestat hugged him close. After a while he felt all of Lestat’s anger fade as his lover calmed down completely. Stepping back, he pulled himself gently out of the embrace and looked over his shoulder at the fire in the hearth.

.:Nice work. It was getting a little chilly and damp in here,:. he commented wryly.

Lestat chuckled and nuzzled him, licking his bare shoulder. .:Can’t have that, can we? I must take care of my delicate fledgling who doesn’t even have enough sense to come in from the rain.:.

He knew Lestat was referring to his old habit of going out in all weather and aimlessly wandering the streets of New Orleans. It was something he had done before Lestat had made Claudia, when he was deep in his guilt and despair. He’d come home soaked to the skin and Lestat would scold him angrily and call him names.

.:I didn’t want to,:. his lover admitted sadly. .:You just looked so lost and hopeless, and nothing I did ever made you any better. You rejected me at every turn and reminded me so much of Nicolas that I couldn’t stand the sight of you in such a state. I’d get angry and be past all patience, then I’d yell at you and push you even further away when all I wanted was for you to come to me.:.

He stroked Lestat’s chest tenderly, soothing him with touch and a rush of emotion across the bond. .:I know. I blamed you for so much that wasn’t your fault, but we shouldn’t dwell on it, Lestat. It’s all in the very distant past and we have come a very long way since then.:.

Lestat nodded and rested his forehead against his. .:Yes. As always, you are right, Beautiful One.:.

He smiled. .:Not always.:.

His lover laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, guiding him to the divan, this time to sit upon it. He flushed a little when he remembered how they had used it just a short time ago, and gave Lestat a sly look. Lestat smiled and pushed him gently down, settling on the divan with him and pulling him across his body until his head rested upon Lestat’s naked chest. The steady thrum of Lestat’s heart thudded softly against his ear and he marveled at how their two heartbeats settled into a matching rhythm. He smiled as Lestat snapped his fingers, and watched through half-closed eyes as his lover mentally opened one of the French armoires and yanked out a blanket they kept stored inside it. The blanket flew into Lestat’s outstretched hand and his lover then wrapped it around them.

Warm and safe in his lover’s arms, he sighed contentedly and let the sound of Lestat’s heart lull him to peaceful sleep.

********

Lestat’s prediction proved true, and Marius and David came calling shortly after ten on the following night. They came in through the carriage gate and Lestat hadn’t wanted to unlock it, but both of them knew that avoiding their visitors would only make the situation worse. Still, Lestat was anything but pleased.

.:Marius! David! I’d say that I’m surprised to see you, but I can’t,:. Lestat said with mock cheerfulness.

Of course neither Marius nor David were privy to the greeting and he was left to speak for him.

“Marius. David. Lestat says he’s surprised to see you,” he relayed.

.:I didn’t say that!:.

.:Then you talk to them,:. he countered testily.

Lestat growled across the bond but clamped his lips shut as he began to pace, his eyes throwing daggers. He ignored him and faced their visitors. They looked nervous, especially David who had a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. He crossed his arms and waited, knowing he wasn’t going to like anything that they had to say. He was insulted the moment they knocked on the door, but at least they had knocked instead of assuming that they could just come in.

“Louis,” Marius began, his tone of voice apologetic.

“I wanted to apologize for intruding upon you and Lestat… last night,” David interrupted.

He turned cold eyes to his brother and said nothing. David dropped his eyes and looked uncomfortable.

“David tells me that he unwittingly interrupted an… intimate moment between you,” Marius said carefully.

Lestat snorted and kept pacing. .:Intimate moment? Intimate moment? He makes it sound like he walked in on us making out instead of…:.

.:Lestat,:. he warned, turning his cold gaze to Marius and continuing to say nothing.

His silence made them even more nervous and he could almost smell their confusion.

“David says that you and Lestat were…”

“That is none of your business,” he said sharply.

He could tell that Marius was taken aback, his blue eyes widening a little.

“You must forgive us, but we are concerned for you, Louis,” the ancient vampire explained gently.

“Concerned? For me?”

“Yes, for you, Louis,” David confirmed. “Ever since you entered into this bond with Lestat you’ve been different. Your behavior has changed…”

“We are worried that this bonding is adversely affecting you. Making you do things that you wouldn’t normally…” Marius explained.

Marius didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Louis felt Lestat’s rage spark and explode. In one furious thrust, his lover shoved the divan and smashed it into the wall, shattering it into pieces with his mind.

“How dare you!” Lestat seethed, coming forward to place himself between him and their visitors.

“And he speaks,” Marius said drolly, seemingly unruffled by Lestat’s display of temper.

Louis could see the tension in Lestat’s shoulders and his clenched fists. He could also feel his lover’s fury through the bond, but in this instance he did nothing. He knew full well what Marius had been about to say and supported Lestat’s anger completely. Marius was lucky they both weren’t raging at him.

“Do not for a moment think I would force Louis to do anything!”

“Because you’ve never forced anyone. You’ve never raped anyone,” Marius countered calmly.

“Raped?!” Lestat roared.

The newly laid logs in the hearth exploded, making him jump a little and he grounded Lestat to keep him from burning the flat down. Not that he would care if Marius got singed a little bit, but he didn’t want any more damage to the furniture.

“Enough,” he ordered, putting a hand on Lestat’s arm. “Marius, you had best choose your words carefully because I am fast losing my patience.”

“Lestat is known for being brash and impulsive, young one. We just want to make sure that he isn’t dragging you into another of his rash, ill-thought-out fantasies,” Marius answered.

“I assure you that anything I am doing with Lestat, I am doing of my own free will.”

David shook his head. “Louis, I know what I saw. I know what you were doing.”

The anger was a cold fire inside him because he could sense the feelings coming off of them, and they had the audacity to believe that they were in any position to judge him.

“What we were doing, David, is none of your concern. What you witnessed was something very private and we do not take kindly to having it exposed.”

.:Oh to hell with it, Louis! You know they’ve probably told half the coven by now!:. Lestat raged, then sent in a sing-song mindvoice, .:Oh you’ll never guess what Lestat’s done now! Oh, and poor Louis. He just lets Lestat rape him because he’s so weak and passive…:.

.:We both know that’s a lie, Lestat.:.

“You, Louis, are our concern. We know how Lestat can be, but your behavior is most troubling,” Marius said.

“My behavior is troubling? Well then allow me to set your mind at ease. Lestat and I are in complete accord. He does not control me and I do not control him.”

“Louis, the soul-bond you have with Lestat binds you so closely that you may not be able to put enough distance between you to see clearly,” David argued.

He pursed his lips and glared. “No, David. It is you who are not seeing things clearly. It is quite obvious to me that you saw most of what occurred last night. The very fact that you witnessed such a private moment is unfortunate. To bring Marius here in an attempt to convince me that I am under some kind of negative influence from Lestat is unforgivable. Neither of you know what goes on between Lestat and I, and frankly what does is none of your business. I kindly ask you to please leave us be and not badger us about our private lives.”

He turned his ire to Marius and gave him a disapproving frown. “And you, Marius. You should have known better than to come here under these pretenses. I would expect such alarmist behavior from David because he is a fledgling, but you are no fledgling and should not be influenced by his ravings. Instead you came here with your false assumptions and premature judgments, and interrupted our quiet evening alone. I am deeply insulted by your accusations and offended by your insinuations. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I have always respected you and looked to you as a man of intelligence and sensibility, but tonight I am deeply disappointed.”

He felt the rush of pride and love come across the bond and glanced over to see that Lestat had taken a seat in the bergere. His lover was sitting in his preferred position of leaning far back into the chair while crossing one ankle over his knee. He was watching with rapt fascination and open adoration, his blue-grey eyes moist with blood tears.

.:Do you have anything to add?:. he asked.

Lestat smiled secretly and shook his head. .:No, my darling. You have said everything so perfectly and beautifully. I am basking in the light of your indignant rage. You are magnificent. I haven’t seen you like this in centuries. But, please! Don’t let me stop you. You were on quite ‘a roll’ as they say these days and I love watching you. Give ‘em hell, Louis!:.

He snorted and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from laughing. Trust Lestat to be so enraptured by seeing him lecture Marius and David that he’d forgotten all of his anger.

.:Not quite. But now you know why I won’t speak to them.:.

.:No, you won’t speak to them because you’re being spiteful,:. he countered irritably.

Lestat frowned.

.:I’m sorry if it seems that way to you, Beautiful One. It’s not my intention. It’s just that I’ve known Marius for so long and played the recalcitrant son for him to scold and disapprove of. I’m tired of it and I won’t do it anymore.:.

.:Nor should you.:.

“Lestat, do you have anything more to say to us?” Marius asked, interrupting their silent conversation.

Lestat glared at the ancient vampire, his mouth set in a grim line. They met eyes and Louis could feel the battle of wills going on. It made him wonder who would yield first. Yes, Lestat was submissive to him, but if challenged he could be more belligerent than any vampire he knew. Marius probably knew that and was pushing Lestat’s buttons on purpose, but he wasn’t certain if Marius was ready to deal with the consequences.

Lestat looked at Marius for several moments then frowned deeply, his eyes glancing briefly to David before returning to meet Marius’s. He could tell that something important had passed between them because Lestat’s mood changed from cold irritation to troubled concern.

.:Lestat?:. he questioned, confused by the sudden shift in emotion.

.:It’s alright, Louis,:. his lover replied but his mindvoice was distracted. .:Will you allow me to handle this?:.

He blinked but nodded. .:Just don’t burn our home down, please,:. he cautioned.

.:It’s nothing like that, my darling. I promise. I just got some information from Marius that has shed quite a bit of light on this whole situation. I would ask for your patience and understanding for a few minutes.:.

He cocked his head and probed the bond for clarification, but Lestat gently blocked him as he rose to his feet in one fluid motion. In consolation, his lover moved close and kissed him gently, running the tip of his tongue along his upper lip.

.:You’ll understand soon enough,:. his lover explained, turning and making his way over to David.

The look on Lestat’s face was intent and focused, and Louis could see that David was afraid as Lestat approached him, but he also refused to yield. Louis could do nothing but trust in Lestat and took one step back in order to see the two of them more clearly. He was shocked when Lestat kissed David on the cheek then reached out and pulled his youngest fledgling into an embrace.

“I love you,” Lestat said in almost a whisper and Louis saw David stiffen. “I know that you feel rejected and shut out by me, and it is not my intention to make you feel that way.”

While David was still obviously flabbergasted, Lestat pulled back and looked him in the eye, stroking the side of his face tenderly.

“You were my dearest friend. You know that, yes? Almost as dear to me as Nicki was when I was alive. You were vital to my existence. I could not stand the idea that you might live your new life without ever coming to me, that I would have to watch you die a little more every year as I had when you were in your old body, offering you the blood and hearing you refuse it...”

David shook his head in protest. “I already told you...”

Lestat placed a finger on David’s lips and shushed him. “I know. But you must let me finish. You think I abandoned you afterwards, that I couldn’t stand the sight of you after what I had done. You thought that our brief time together in Rio, and here in New Orleans, was because I felt an obligation to you as my fledgling. That was not the case.

“I love you and I am enormously proud of you. You are one of my finest creations. I stand in awe of all you have accomplished in so short a time being one of us. You turned out beautifully.”

Louis saw David fight to hold back tears, and glanced at Marius to see that the ancient vampire was watching Lestat with silent approval.

.:What is going on?:. he questioned. The situation had done such a complete turn around that he wasn’t certain he understood what had just happened.

.:The real reason David insisted we come here, and why I would not let him come alone,:. Marius answered reasonably, leveling him with a tolerant look.

He blanched a little at the gentle rebuke and lowered his eyes.

.:Not that what he had to tell me about your and Lestat’s activities wasn’t part of it, but it was not the primary reason. This has been building for quite some time and it needs to be resolved,:. Marius added.

He clenched his jaw and nodded grimly. There were definitely issues between Lestat and David, and between himself and David as well. He’d always viewed his brother with benign tolerance and even a little sympathy mixed with an unhealthy dose of jealous suspicion. He didn’t love David, although he knew that Lestat had wanted them to be friends, but he carried too much guilt and envy to feel any real affection. Granted on his good days, David could be a delightful companion with a quick wit and an intelligent mind. He was far better read than Lestat and could engage in lengthy, thought-provoking conversations on subjects that would have put Lestat to sleep. But all of that notwithstanding, sometimes it was very hard for him just to look at David.

He’d often wondered what would have happened if he had given into Lestat’s pleas and turned the mortal body Lestat had been trapped in instead of refusing. If he’d had, then Lestat would never have gone to David for help, nor would David have switched bodies into the younger form. Lestat would never have raped the newly young David into vampirism, and for all intents and purposes David would still be an old man engaging Lestat in futile conversations about God, the Devil and the soul of Rembrandt.

But he had refused and Lestat had gone to David for help, and now he had to live with the consequences. Before his bond with Lestat, he’d been jealous of David, convinced that Lestat had made the fledgling to somehow spite or replace him. Of course now he knew better, but he had spent many an evening wondering why Lestat insisted he come around when David was a much more pleasant companion than he ever was. David had even forgiven Lestat for forcing the blood upon him, something Louis doubted he would have been able to do if he had been in David’s place.

Now that he and Lestat were bonded, he knew that Lestat had made David out of love and a desperate, selfish need to keep him. He wasn’t jealous of David anymore, and if anything he now felt a little sorrow for him. Before Lestat’s imprisonment, David had been the prodigal, but not even David’s stout English upbringing could give him the fortitude it took to tend to a comatose Lestat every night, night after night after night. The fledgling had lasted a scant two years before he’d had enough and left New Orleans. Louis wasn’t exactly certain where his brother had wandered off to, but he hadn’t really given it much thought at the time. In fact when Katrina hit, he hadn’t seen David in over a year and had no idea that he had been searching the Talamasca archives for something that could help Lestat.

And when David did return, Louis had only seen him as a rival who was trying to usurp his position with Lestat. The argument they had had over who would be bonded to Lestat stemmed from that rivalry, at least in part, and when David had been forced to concede Louis knew that his pride had been deeply wounded. Since then the fledgling had been circling like a vulture, making both him and Lestat uneasy, especially since he almost always had Marius in tow and Marius made Lestat nervous. The situation had been steadily escalating and he had to agree with Marius that it needed to be resolved. A declaration of love from Lestat, however, wasn’t how he had envisioned his lover handling things.

“I know you wanted to be the one,” Lestat was saying now, stroking David’s face and hair like a parent pets a child. “But we would have destroyed each other, and you know it. We’re too alike, you and I. You were challenging me from the moment I made you, before even. Had you been the one, you would have tried to control me and I would have raged against you. We would probably both be dead by now.”

Louis saw David lose his battle to hold back his tears and two leaked out. “So instead you shut me out completely. You refused to see me, then refused to talk to me. What was I supposed to think? How was I to interpret your actions as anything other than rejection?”

“Protection, David,” Lestat replied.

“Protection?”

“I was protecting you, protecting both of us, from me,” his lover explained gently. “I’m mad, David. There are nights when I am fine and then there are nights when I jump at shadows. I rage and rave. I wake up screaming from nightmares so horrible I cannot bear to remember them. There are times when I cannot stand to look at myself; nights when I cling to Louis because he is the only thing that’s real to me. Can you blame me for not wanting anyone to see me that way?”

Louis closed his eyes, shuddering at the memories Lestat’s words recalled. While it had been a number of weeks since Lestat had had a really bad night, what bad nights he had suffered were almost unbearable. More than once he had come home to find Lestat huddled in a corner of the bathroom or locked in his fortress lair under the eaves, trying to hide from monsters only he could see. The images Lestat would send from his nightmares were grotesque and hideous, often making him nearly sick. He’d seen Lestat mutilate his face and try to gouge out his own eyes during his tirades.

He could honestly say that Lestat hadn’t had one of those episodes since the night he’d fed Lestat for the first time. That night had been the turning point in Lestat’s healing. Making love had only furthered it, and now even Lestat’s ‘bad’ nights were nothing compared to what they had already been through. That wasn’t to say that Lestat didn’t have his moments, but he certainly was much, much improved.

.:Yes, he is, and you have yourself to congratulate for it,:. Marius told him.

He opened his eyes and glared, throwing up his mental walls. .:I would respectfully request that you stay out of my head, thank you.:.

Marius gave him a wry smile but nodded. He nodded back and relaxed, returning his attention to Lestat and David.

“But I have seen you when you’ve been cowed and subdued,” David was arguing. “Good Lord, Lestat, I saw you when you were trapped in this body and could barely feed yourself. You can share anything with me. I would have tried to help you.”

Lestat put his hand on David’s shoulder. “I know you would have, David, but I wouldn’t have been able to stand it. It would have been too much. I know that you blame yourself for what happened with Memnoch, but it wasn’t your fault, David.”

David’s breath hitched on a sob. “But I should have known. After Maharet returned your eye, I should have realized what was happening. I should have at least looked for a geas.”

“You wouldn’t have found it even if you had,” Lestat insisted.

“I still should have done something!”

“You did David. You found the healer who set me free.”

Louis saw David’s jaw drop, then his whole countenance fell and he began to tremble. Lestat made a shushing noise and took him back into his arms as David dug his fingers into the planes of Lestat’s shoulders and buried his face in the crook of his maker’s neck.

“Shhhhh. I love you. I hold you blameless,” Lestat comforted.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” David sobbed.

Louis found that he couldn’t watch such a private and emotional display so he politely averted his eyes. He clenched his fists at his sides and waited for the storm to ebb, focusing on a piece of lint lying on the plush carpet. He had determined that the lint was a thin, black thread that had probably come from his trousers when Lestat had taken them down the night before, when he felt the emotions in the room calm and he raised his head again.

Both David and Lestat had been weeping, but he’d already known that. He’d felt Lestat’s tears the moment they had started but had tried to give his lover as much privacy as he could by not drawing attention to it. He glanced over to see that Marius had done much the same thing, simply watching and waiting while Lestat and his youngest worked out their differences.

He saw Lestat dig into the front pocket of David’s jacket and pull out a cloth handkerchief which he then used to dab away the red splotches from David’s face.

“There now. You’re all blotchy and puffed up. Amazing how we’re dead but we still look horrible when we cry,” Lestat said tenderly.

David chuckled and took the cloth from Lestat’s fingers to wipe his eyes. The blood tears left red smudges on his white cheeks.

“Positively ghastly,” David agreed.

Lestat said nothing then David looked up at him, his face tragic and sad.

“Thank you,” his brother whispered. “Thank you for speaking to me, for reassuring me. I was so frightened that you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I’m sorry, David. I never meant to make you feel that way. I do love you. I love you very much. I’m so sorry.”

David bowed his head and nodded. “Apology accepted, Lestat. Do you accept mine?”

“For what?”

“For coming here and… and interrupting you and Louis.”

Lestat smiled as David blushed and Louis could feel his own cheeks flushing.

“Ahhh, well… it’s not as if we hang a red light off the balcony so you know to leave us alone,” Lestat commented wickedly.

David barked out a short laugh that was almost a choke and he had to smother his own snicker.

“No, it isn’t,” David conceded.

“We do still need to discuss that,” Marius interrupted.

“No, we don’t,” he insisted, offended again. “It’s still private and still none of your business.”

A feeling came across the bond that Louis associated with Lestat when he was being particularly naughty. It was the sensation he attributed to his lover when he was at his most Brat Prince-ish, and he could only describe it as impish glee. Now that the storm had passed it was obvious that Lestat was in the mood to have a little fun at their guests’ expense. He usually cringed when he felt his lover’s mischievousness but tonight he could only wonder what Lestat was going to do. Whatever it was, it had Lestat on the verge of a major laughing fit.

.:Lestat?:.

.:Watch this, Louis. See how fast they run.:.

He watched as Lestat circled around David and Marius until he was behind them. Then he draped his arms across both of their shoulders and pulled them in close. Louis was amazed that Marius allowed it, but the ancient vampire just seemed curious.

“How about this,” Lestat began and Louis could feel the giggles struggling to get out. “How about the two of you go back to Marius’s place and try it out for yourselves.”

He gasped.

.:Lestat!:. he scolded but Lestat just grinned.

David jerked and shook his head, but Lestat held him fast by the shoulder and pouted at him.

“Oh come now, David. It hasn’t been that long for you, has it? You remember how, don’t you? You can’t tell me that you didn’t try out that young, virile, incredibly well-endowed body while you were still among the living.”

Lestat leered and turned his sly gaze to Marius. Louis would have been deeply offended if the look on David and Marius’s faces hadn’t been so amusing.

“And you, Marius! You were a Roman. I’ve heard all about the sexual hijinks you Romans got up to two millennia ago. I’m sure there are few things you could teach David about how it’s done.”

The both of them looked pole-axed as Lestat pushed them forward towards the French doors. Louis stepped aside to allow them to pass, biting the inside of his cheek in order to keep his expression blank.

“So why don’t the two of you go satisfy your curiosity about the whole matter and afterwards we’ll trade notes,” Lestat smoothed, graciously opening the doors for them with his mind.

.:LESTAT!:.

“Or maybe not.”

With a quick motion, Lestat shoved them both out onto the balcony and blocked the way back in with his hands on the doors.

“There now. We wouldn’t want to keep you from your experimentation so we’ll bid you good night. Might we suggest that you get a personal lubricant with warming capabilities to enhance the… feeling. You two have fun now. We’ll see you later. Don’t be strangers, but please remember to knock first. Bonsoir!”

With that Lestat soundly shut both doors and Louis heard the lock click home.

“Lestat you are the Damnedest creature!” he heard Marius shout, followed by low laughter.

David sputtered something but he couldn’t make it out, then their silhouettes disappeared from the balcony and he knew that they had left. Lestat was standing by the closed doors with his head cocked just so, and they both lasted less than twenty seconds before they started laughing.

It was rare that he got caught up in one of Lestat’s laughing fits, but this time he couldn’t break out of it and he found himself laughing uncontrollably along with his lover. Lestat was always the louder of the two of them so his peals of laughter echoed through the room, but he had to hold his own sides just to control the heaving. By the time they had both managed to get a hold of themselves, their faces were stained red from the tears that had streamed down their cheeks and they were both certain that they’d hurt something.

.:Oh! Oh, Louis! Did you see the look on Marius’s face?:.

The memory had him chuckling all over again.

.:He looked like he’d just swallowed a cat!:. Lestat added.

.:You were mean and rude,:. he chided through his snickers, trying to sound stern but failing miserably. .:And you destroyed the divan.:.

They both looked over at the pile of broken wood and ripped cloth.

.:We’ll buy a new one tomorrow night,:. his lover replied.

.:But I liked that one. I had many fond… memories of it.:.

Lestat leered and took him in his arms. .:Fond memories of it or fond memories of what we did on it?:.

He blushed but he doubted anyone would have noticed because his cheeks were so red from crying. .:Does it matter?:.

Lestat groped him. .:If you’re really angry I’ll let you punish me.:.

He smiled and pinched Lestat’s side. .:You’d enjoy that far too much. But I should spank you for that trading notes comment.:.

.:Ooooo, I love your idea of foreplay, Louis. Should I get the hairbrush?:.

He choked and shook his head. .:Lestat!:.

.:I remind you that you started that kind of talk with your ‘kinky’ comment in the drugstore so I’m not to blame.:.

He snorted and gave in, resting his forehead on Lestat’s shoulder. .:You’re impossible. I am trying to be angry with you.:.

Lestat shrugged. .:Why bother? You don’t want to be angry with me anyway.:.

He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. .:True.:.

Lestat tapped his own temple with one finger. .:I know. See, you can’t lie to me. I know everything.:.

He stepped back and gave Lestat a wry smile. .:Not everything:.

Lestat kissed him, pushing his tongue past his lips and driving nearly every thought out of his head with his passion. .:Close enough.:.

13

It seemed that before he knew it, the holiday season was upon them. Usually New Orleans was awash with holiday finery but this year the festivities were much more subdued. Instead of dolls and toy trains he was certain many children and families were asking Santa for a safe place to live, food to eat and untainted water to drink. It appeared that no matter where they would be spending Christmas, the residents of New Orleans would be celebrating a somber holiday.

He and Lestat were planning something small and simple. Normally they didn’t celebrate it at all, but this year Lestat was insisting on doing something to ‘make up for the ten years I missed.’ When Louis seemed reluctant, Lestat had threatened to go down to the second-hand store and pick out ten garish, old sweaters to give him so he had relented.

Since Lestat was getting better at concealing things from him, he really had no idea what to expect, but he knew that he’d managed to impress upon Lestat the need for things to be quiet and uncomplicated. The uncomplicated part was essential because he knew Lestat’s penchant for grand displays, especially where money was involved. Although he was glad to admit that Lestat’s enthusiasm and unrepentant spending were more than welcome.

Lestat was very slowly returning to normal; or rather, what they had come to associate as normal for him. There were key differences, however, and anyone who knew Lestat would be able to spot them immediately. Lestat was quieter and more introspective. He was more solicitous too, kinder and gentler. Not that he couldn’t be an impossible brat, but he tended to save the tantrums for others and not for him. He was still prone to fits of laughter, and his love for art and entertainment was coming back, but he shunned the spotlight much more than before.

Sometimes a mortal would ‘recognize’ him and Lestat would play the part for them, smiling and preening while he stood back. There was no sense in getting angry with Lestat during those times. He could no more ask Lestat to ignore his fawning public than Lestat could ask him to give up his guilt. It wasn’t something either of them could do. He did notice, however, that when he was recognized Lestat seemed less inclined to dally with his admirers for any length of time. Instead he would smile, bestow kisses and the occasional nibble to the neck, then send them on their way. The encounters never lasted too long and soon Lestat was bidding them goodnight. He much preferred when he and Lestat finally made it back to the flat so they could be alone.

Once back at the flat, or the penthouse if that was where they were staying, they would engage in any number of activities ranging from watching television to making love. It didn’t matter what they did, so long as it was done together. Sometimes he would read while Lestat played with his computer; checking his accounts, reading email and downloading music. He loved to watch Lestat dance around the parlor, his iPod in one hand as he moved to the music. He knew Lestat did it to entice him because he still couldn’t resist the sensuous sway of his lover’s hips and graceful body. Almost always they would end the night in their bed, snuggling until it was time to go up to their lair. There had been an incident just the other night, however, when he’d found out that Lestat had been keeping something from him. It had been a stupid, petty thing not even worth getting upset over, but as Lestat had been improving and some distance had been coming between them, all of his insecurities had begun coming to the fore. He knew that he lived in fear that Lestat would outgrow their bond; that his lover would return to his old ways of shutting him out and leaving him alone. He knew that he shouldn’t worry. There were no real secrets in the bond, and Lestat still couldn’t lie to him, but still his old fears refused to be quelled.

Everything had just boiled over that night and he’d come right out and asked Lestat if he wanted to sever the bond between them. It had been said in pain and anger, both of them feeding off of each other’s upset, and he’d regretted it immediately. Lestat’s reaction had been extreme, even for the Brat Prince. One would have thought he would have gone off on a raging tirade, destroying everything in his path, but instead he had shut down completely.

Louis had felt the shock right before everything between them went eerily calm and quiet. Lestat’s face had gone blank and he’d dropped to his knees, staring straight ahead. Louis had tried to get a response from him, but even the bond was silent. Memories of Lestat in his catatonia came flooding back, and in a panic he had started shaking Lestat violently and frantically calling his name. It was only when he had turned his sharp nails on himself, ripping his arms in his anguish, that his pain and the scent of his blood had stirred a reaction from Lestat.

They had fallen together, clinging to each other in their tears and regret, and Louis had apologized until he was hoarse and nearly unconscious. He hadn’t even realized that Lestat had broken his arm until he tried to move it, but when he did, the pain had shot all the way from his shoulder down to his wrist. It was still sore two nights later.

Lestat had offered his blood to help heal it faster but he had refused. In truth, he felt that he didn’t deserve the healing blood after what he had done. His callousness and immature fear had almost sent Lestat back into his head. No, he accepted the pain as his punishment for being cruel and thanked whatever god was listening that it was all the penance he would have to do.

‘I could have lost Lestat,’ he thought, shuddering and touching the tender spot on his upper arm. The bone had set well and he could almost feel it knitting back together.

He couldn’t bear to think of what he would have done if Lestat had not come back to him. The memory of the hole that had opened up inside of him when Lestat had cut him off was too fresh and keen, and he’d been nearly mad with grief when he’d started cutting himself. In retrospect it frightened him, and he knew that he wouldn’t survive the death of Lestat should anything happen to him.

‘And I doubt he would survive me. That’s what the healer meant when she said she was condemning me and I didn’t know it. She knew that if I was bonded to Lestat, we’d live or die with each other.’

The sound of the carriage gate opening brought him out of his thoughts as he looked at the clock and frowned. Both he and Lestat had left for their respective hunts at the same time, but Lestat was an hour later in returning home. It was unusual because Lestat normally didn’t dally or spend too much time wandering the streets without him. Normally, he’d feed then come straight home so they could be together.

Not that Lestat had even tried to touch him since his arm had been broken.

In fact, Louis had been lucky if he got a deep kiss or a cuddle out of his lover, and it was starting to grate on him. He didn’t feel sexual desire the way mortal men did, but he did want his beloved’s touch, and he missed it now that Lestat was being so careful. He didn’t want or need Lestat to treat him as if he was made of glass, but that is where it seemed to be heading and he knew he needed to do something about it.

He turned and faced the stairs as Lestat came up and smiled softly when he saw his lover.

.:Lestat.:. he greeted.

Lestat walked over and kissed him gently, gingerly touching his damaged arm with one finger.

.:Does it still hurt, my darling?:.

He shook his head. .:Just a little bit.:.

Lestat sighed and nuzzled him. .:I’m so sorry.:.

.:Enough of that,:. he scolded. .:I’ve already told you that it wasn’t your fault.:.

Lestat pouted and shook his head. .:I still feel guilty.:.

He kissed his lover on the cheek. .:I know. But I promise that I’ll let you make it up to me,:. he answered, smiling suggestively and moving closer.

Lestat chuckled. .:When you are all healed, Beautiful One.:.

.:Really Lestat, there’s no need to make me wait,:. he argued, trying not to whine.

His lover smiled, slow and seductive, and he felt his legs turn to jelly. .:But I fear I must, my love. We have a guest.:.

.:A guest?:.

He hadn’t sensed anyone come in with Lestat, and he was thoroughly confused when the carriage gate opened again and he heard light footfalls on the steps. He knew immediately who it was and why Lestat had been an hour late in coming home.

.:Lestat, there was no need to do this,:. he chided.

.:Of course I did. You wouldn’t accept my blood to hasten your healing so I found the next best thing.:.

He sighed and looked at the hallway as the familiar figure of the healer emerged from the stairway. He bowed formally as he always did when he saw her, giving her his utmost respect. The immortal woman had given him everything and he owed her far more than he could ever repay.

“Bonsoir, Madam,” he greeted.

She was dressed in the customary jeans and long-sleeved shirt with a lightweight coat to ward off the damp, New Orleans winter chill.

“Good evening, young one. Lestat tells me that you’ve had a minor accident,” she answered as Lestat graciously took her coat and draped it on the newly replaced divan.

He motioned to his injured arm dismissively. “It’s nothing. I don’t know why Lestat fusses so much.”

She came over and took the arm in her hand, giving him a tolerant look. .:Because he did it and he wants to make it better. You should let him. He’s been beating himself up over it since he came to find me, and no doubt he’s been doing it ever since he hurt you.:.

.:It really wasn’t his fault.:.

.:I know, but he still blames himself.:. “Hmmm, not too bad. I think I can fix this without too much trouble,” she said aloud, her voice thoughtful.

“There really is no need…”

.:Louis, just shut up and let her heal you,:. Lestat snapped peevishly.

If there hadn’t been so much worry and guilt behind the outburst, he might have gotten angry, but he didn’t because he knew Lestat was just feeling terrible. Letting out a deep sigh, he relented and relaxed, allowing the healer to do her work. At first, he didn’t feel anything then there was a tingling sensation that ran along the length of the bone and focused where it was broken. The sensation grew stronger and stronger until it was almost painful and he grimaced.

.:Almost done,:. the healer told him, her voice sympathetic.

He nodded, gritting his teeth and bore it until he felt the discomfort ease and finally fade completely.

.:There. It shouldn’t trouble you anymore.:.

When the last of the tingling disappeared, he raised his arm and put it through a full range of motion. It moved flawlessly and without any hint of pain.

“It’s healed,” he stated with just a touch of awe.

.:I know.:.

.:See? That wasn’t so hard, now was it,:. Lestat commented.

“Thank you, Madam.”

“You are most welcome, young one. Lestat tells me that the two of you had a minor setback that resulted in your injury.”

He flushed and looked away in shame. “Yes, but we’ve worked it out.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” .:I warned you that this wouldn’t be easy,:. she added mentally.

.:I know. I know.:. “Yes, so am I.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“No,” he said quickly. He really didn’t want anyone getting involved in what was essentially a very personal and sensitive subject.

.:I did something very foolish,:. Lestat said.

The healer turned to look at his lover. “Oh?”

“Yes, it was foolish but then I reacted badly to finding out,” he interrupted, moving to place himself in her view.

“These things will happen sometimes. Just because you are bonded doesn’t mean there won’t be disagreements.”

He nodded. “Yes, I know. We’ve discovered that.”

“If anything, it will make your arguments worse because you will feed off of each other’s emotions.”

“We’ve discovered that too.”

She was silent but it was an expectant silence. He knew that Lestat was on the verge of telling her everything so he wanted her out of there as soon as possible.

“But really, Madam, while we are always very grateful for your assistance and wisdom, we are really quite fine now and…”

.:I met with David and didn’t tell him,:. Lestat blurted.

He let out a small groan and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Oh really? My guess is that didn’t go over well,” the healer noted calmly.

Lestat sighed and began to pace like he always did when he was upset. .:No, it didn’t. It’s my fault, I know. I should have told Louis, but for some ridiculous reason he still sees David as a rival.:.

“I do not,” he argued.

.:You do! I even mention his name and you get defensive!:.

“I don’t! I just wish you had told me that you were meeting with him,” he countered, his hackles rising in spite of his protests.

.:I tried to tell you. You didn’t want to hear it. Besides, I was afraid that you would react badly to my wanting to see him alone and jump to the wrong conclusions- which is exactly what you did!:.

.:Only because you kept it from me!:. he snapped, getting angry all over again. He didn’t know why, but the thought of David and Lestat alone together still triggered all of his defenses.

.:Then when you found out, you yelled and threatened to leave me!:.

.:I did not! I asked you if you wanted to sever the bond between us!:.

.:Isn’t that the same thing?!:. Lestat all but screamed.

.:No! Of course not!:.

.:Louis, you ripped out my heart!:.

It was amazing how quickly things escalated between them. Lestat was weeping now, waves of anguish slamming into him and he was scrambling to hold onto his own emotions. He heard himself sob when he suddenly felt as if a great hand had grabbed both him and Lestat and slammed them down; that was the force of the grounding that overtook them, not only shunting their careening emotions into the earth but siphoning off at least half of their runaway energy. He knew immediately that it was the healer who had done it and he stared at her.

.:Enough! Both of you!:. she scolded angrily and he winced because her ire was terrible.

‘Such power,’ he wondered to himself, his eyes opening wide.

“Now, both of you take a time out and get a hold of yourselves.”

He nodded, taking in great gulps of air as his heart stopped pounding wildly. “Yes, Madam. I am so sorry…”

“Don’t apologize to me. This is between you and him. All I did was prevent a major incident.”

“Yes. Yes,” he agreed, casting a guilty glance at Lestat. What he saw made him shiver.

Lestat was a wreck, his hands shaking and his whole body trembling. A quick probe of the bond found his emotions in a roiling turmoil that bordered on complete hysteria. Horrified, he reached out to his lover.

.:Lestat…:.

Lestat sobbed and hugged himself, actually taking a step back, and the action cut him to the quick.

.:Lestat,:. he tried again and this time he would not be denied. He kept moving until Lestat was pinned against the wall, and he pried Lestat’s hands down when he tried to cover his face, wincing at how Lestat all but cowered away.

“Lestat. Lestat, please.”

“Lestat, this is your bonded. Let him touch you,” the healer admonished. “He will never hurt you. To hurt you is to hurt himself.”

Lestat screwed his eyes shut but did not fight as he pressed close, trying to hold him as much as he could with his lover against the wall. He rested his cheek against Lestat’s throat and opened the bond, letting Lestat feel everything. Lestat shivered and Louis felt his body heaving slightly with each indrawn breath. When he opened his eyes again, he saw that Lestat was crying silently with his eyes still closed.

.:Forgive me, my beloved, please.:.

.:Louis. You’re going to leave me, Louis. Will you poison me like she did and cut my throat? Will you wrap me in filthy linens and dump me in the swamp again?:.

He shuddered and gripped Lestat’s arms. .:No! Never! Never, Lestat. I won’t leave you. Not ever.:. Lestat did not seem to be convinced so he looked to the healer, beseeching. “What do I do?”

“You’ve forgotten what I told you. You are the ground. Lestat is completely emotionally dependant upon you. Just because he appears to be getting better doesn’t mean that he is. You have to get control over yourself before you can help him,” she answered.

He nodded and took a deep breath, grounding on the exhale and calming himself down. Then he took up the threads of the bond between them and drew them close, sending peace and love across the link. He sighed when he felt Lestat begin to settle and come out of his upset.

.:Lestat,:. he called calmly.

.:Louis,:. his lover replied and he sighed with relief.

.:Lestat, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.:.

.:Did I hurt you again? I don’t know if I did. The last time I got upset like this I broke your arm. I was afraid that…:.

.:I’m fine, Lestat. You didn’t hurt me.:.

.:Oh thank god.:.

Arms came around him and Lestat hugged him tight. He embraced his lover back and they held each other for long moments, sending silent apologies across the bond. He’d almost forgotten how much control he had over Lestat’s emotional state because he hadn’t been exercising that power recently. Lestat had seemed so much more balanced and stable that he’d refrained from automatically grabbing their bond and grounding whenever Lestat started to get upset. Instead he’d been letting Lestat handle situations on his own as a type of training exercise. Now it seemed that he had been acting a little prematurely.

.:No. You just let your guard down when you shouldn’t have. I thought that things were progressing too well too quickly, and I was afraid that you were misinterpreting sublimation for recovery. My fears have turned out to be true. This is not unexpected, nor is it unmanageable, but you need to get over your jealousy of Lestat’s other fledgling or incidents like tonight will keep happening,:. the healer told him.

.:But I don’t know why I react this way. I shouldn’t be reacting this way. After all, I’m the one Lestat’s bonded to. I shouldn’t feel threatened by David.:.

The healer gave him a sympathetic look. .:You’ve only been bonded for a little over three months. Before that, Lestat had been catatonic for over a decade. Before that, your relationship with him had been tumultuous at best. You are standing on very new and shaky ground. It is only natural that you would feel insecure and uncertain, especially when faced with someone you know Lestat loves.:.

.:So basically you’re saying that I’m acting like a jealous spouse.:.

She smiled. .:Well, aren’t you?:.

He sighed. .:I suppose I am,:. he admitted reluctantly.

.:Please stop talking about me as if I wasn’t here,:. Lestat complained, his mindvoice weary.

He rubbed Lestat’s chest comfortingly. .:I’m sorry, Lestat. I don’t mean to make you feel left out.:.

Lestat rested his forehead against his neck and breathed softly into his hair. .:I know. But now do you understand why I was reluctant to tell you?:.

.:You thought I’d be upset and jealous.:.

.:Yes.:.

“You do mate guard,” the healer pointed out. “You’re very protective of him.” He started to protest but she cut him off. “And rightfully so. He is traumatized and vulnerable. He needs to you to intercede for him when he cannot deal with things himself.”

“But I need to stop mate guarding.”

.:No,:. Lestat said. .:I want you to mate guard. I need you to mate guard and shield me from the world. There are times when I can’t deal with any of it. What I want is for you to stop intimidating David.:.

Lestat’s words shocked him and he stepped back. “Intimidating David? Me?”

The notion seemed utterly laughable but his lover nodded.

.:Yes. David is completely cowed by you, Louis. I don’t know what happened before I was set free but, whatever it was, you made quite an impression on him.:.

He thought back to that night, trying to remember all that was said and done. It seemed so long ago now.

“We quarreled over who should be the one. David said he should do it but I insisted that it should be me. David didn’t agree, but then I said I wouldn’t yield without a fight. He knew if he hurt me, you’d never forgive him so he had no choice but to relent because I wasn’t going to give in.”

.:He was right. If he’d hurt you, I would never have forgiven him,:. Lestat confirmed.

He nodded. “But now he thinks I’m taking you away from him, doesn’t he?”

Lestat shook his head. .:No. He doesn’t think that. He just gets uncomfortable around you because you’re always hovering. That was why he wanted to meet me alone.:.

“I don’t understand why he wanted to keep your meeting a secret. Why didn’t one of you just tell me what was going on?”

.:That was my decision. I was the one who made the choice to keep it from you because I didn’t want you to be upset. David told me that I should tell you we had met but I worried that you would be jealous and angry.:.

He sighed. “Which I was when I found out and proved your suspicions right.”

Lestat didn’t answer but the look on his face said everything, and he felt guilty all over again.

“I’m sorry.”

.:Don’t apologize. It was my fault.:.

“It was both of our faults,” he insisted.

“Perhaps Louis would better understand if you were to explain to him what you explained to me while we were walking here,” the healer suggested.

Louis raised an eyebrow and looked expectantly at Lestat. “Lestat?”

He saw Lestat thinking and felt the indecision coming from him. Seeking to console his lover, he stroked Lestat’s cheek and throat tenderly.

.:You can tell me anything, my love. You know that you can.:.

Lestat nodded and took his hand between both of his, bringing it to his lips to kiss his fingers.

.:I know, but this is hard.:.

.:I know.:.

.:I’m trying not to make the same mistakes with David that I did in the past, Louis. I was never there for you or Claudia, and I regret that. I’m trying to do better with David.:.

He shook his head, confused. .:But David is doing fine. He’s adjusted very well…:.

.:He’s still in his first lifetime, Louis. You know how hard that can be. The death of his friend Aaron hurt him deeply and brought up many unresolved issues. When the Body Thief stole my body, David was just a few short years from his own death. He was coming to terms with his mortality and his approaching demise. Then everything changed and he was given a second chance in a youthful body. He was in the middle of his readjustment when I brought him over. Now he is facing his immortality and he’s feeling a little lost.:.

.:And because he is a proper English gentleman, he’s facing it all with a stiff upper lip,:. he concluded.

Lestat smiled. .:Exactly.:.

Louis understood all too well David’s turmoil and confusion. He had gone through the same tumultuous period himself in the early 1800’s. At that time his hatred of Lestat had been at its strongest because he had looked to his maker for answers and found that Lestat had none to give. Only now did he realize that Lestat had been living his first lifetime too and probably had been facing the same questions and dilemmas that he was during that time.

.:Yes, but it was harder for me. I knew what I was supposed to be doing and I knew many of the answers you sought, but I was forbidden from telling you any of it. And at the time I feared Marius’s wrath. I was terrified if I let anything slip, he would kill you and Claudia to keep his secrets. He guarded Those Who Must Be Kept and he would have killed both of you, and me, in a heartbeat if he thought Akasha and Enkil were in danger.

.:I wanted to tell you so badly, Louis. Really I did. I didn’t want to keep it from you. But every time I began to waver in my resolve, I remembered the vows Marius made me take and his warnings of what would happen if I told. I loved you both so much. I couldn’t bear to put you in danger. I’d rather have had you hate me and curse me than have had my weakness be the cause of your deaths,:. Lestat explained.

.:I understand.:.

.:Do you?:. his lover questioned. .:There were times when it was all I could do not to tell you. I thought perhaps I could reveal just a little bit, then maybe you wouldn’t be so angry with me, but I knew if I told some, eventually I would tell all and I couldn’t risk that.:.

.:Marius put you in a terrible position and my questions made it worse. I’m sorry. I didn’t know and you couldn’t tell me.:.

Lestat took a deep breath, the air catching on a small sob. .:Yes, but the price I paid for keeping Marius’s secrets was any closeness I hoped to have with you. In trying to protect you, I actually turned you against me. You have no idea how much I regret that, how much it grieves me.:.

He touched his chest over his heart and sent love across the bond, reminding Lestat that it was there.

.:But I do know. I can feel it through you.:.

Lestat smiled and relaxed, resting his forehead against Louis’s. .:Then you know how it is for David. I’m trying to be there for him, but I admit that I’m not very good at it. Mostly I just listen and tell him to talk to Marius. I never had anyone to help me through any of this. I am hoping Marius doesn’t send David away like he sent me away. I would hope that we’ve both learned from our mistakes.:.

He nodded. .:Are David and Marius… companions?:.

He put a certain emphasis on the word companion that implied an intimacy that the word did not normally convey.

Lestat thought for a moment then answered carefully, .:I think so. I’m not completely sure but there is a closeness between them. It might just be because they’re both hopeless scholars, but I get the impression that it’s more than that.:.

He found that he was genuinely happy to hear that maybe David had someone to be with. While he had never really suffered from the terrible loneliness that often plagued his kind, he knew that Lestat did, and that many of the others did. It brought him comfort to know that his brother might have someone to ease the ache, and for Marius too. He knew Marius was estranged from Armand, and he had no idea where Pandora was, so it was nice to think that maybe Marius wasn’t alone either and the relationship was mutual.

.:If it is true. I’m glad.:.

Lestat smiled and he felt a bit of the imp rising. It never ceased to amaze him how quickly Lestat’s moods could change. Mercurial didn’t even begin to describe the wild swings of emotion Lestat often put him through.

.:I have no evidence, of course. They could be just friends or they could be boffing like bunnies for all we know.:.

.:Lestat!:.

.:Well, it isn’t like we could smell the sex on them like we do with mortals. We don’t have a ‘sex’ smell. But I do find it interesting that they haven’t said anything to us about it since I pushed them out of the flat and told them to try it themselves.:.

He blinked. It was true. Since that night, neither David nor Marius had brought up the subject again, and the two of them had visited at least three times. He found himself flushing at the prospect of David and Marius in an… intimate embrace.

.:What do you think, Louis? The last time you saw David did he look well-fucked to you?:.

.:Lestat!:.

He knew Lestat used vulgarities just to get a rise out of him, but it still worked every time. He looked disapprovingly at his lover but all Lestat did was grin.

“Or they could have just asked the healer about it,” he countered.

“They did. I told them it was normal, natural and to butt out,” she replied, reminding both of them that she was still there.

.:See? So maybe they’re doing it themselves.:.

.:You have no proof of that.:.

.:True, but it’s more fun to speculate. I wonder who’s dominant.:.

Lestat started to giggle and he knew that a laughing fit was soon to follow.

.:Lestat! You are impossible. What am I to do with you?:.

Lestat just laughed more and hugged him.

.:Louis. Louis, what am I to do with you, Louis?:.

He sighed and pinched him.

.:Brat.:.

.:Always, but you love me anyway.:.

.:True.:.

.:Which is good considering that you’re stuck with me.:. It was said lightheartedly but there was a whole undercurrent to the words that was not lost on him.

.:I’m not stuck with you. I chose this, remember?:.

.:I remember. It’s possibly the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.:.

.:I don’t see it that way.:.

.:That isn’t to say I’m not deeply grateful down to the bottom of my black heart. I wouldn’t let you go for anything, my darling. I’d die before I gave you up.:.

He looked up into Lestat’s blue-grey eyes, a myriad of emotions running through him, and he was reminded of how he had felt two nights ago when Lestat had shut down on him.

.:I’d die too,:. he admitted, then frowned and turned to the healer.

“We won’t survive each other, will we,” he asked, but he already knew the answer.

The healer’s face grew sad and she shook her head. “Probably not. In a soul-bonding like yours, if one partner dies, the other almost always follows shortly thereafter.”

.:Almost always?:. Lestat questioned.

“I know of only one partner who survived his bonded’s death and I haven’t seen him in many centuries. No one has. He disappeared into the mortal world and no one has seen him since. We know he is still alive because none of us have felt his Passing. He is a dragon. When one of them dies, all of us feel it.”

.:Dragon? As in the flying, fire-breathing kind?:. Lestat asked, intrigued.

She nodded. “Yes.”

“I thought they were a myth,” he said, a little awed.

She gave him a tolerant look. “Technically you’re a myth.”

.:She has a point,:. Lestat commented.

“So dragons exist. And we exist. Do other… myths also exist?” he asked.

The healer nodded. “For the most part, yes. Many of them are not as mythology paints them. You cannot turn into bats or wisps of smoke. They are much the same. The stories around them are full of distortions but hold a grain of truth.”

The answer resonated deep in his soul and his mind began to race. There was another question on the tip of his tongue and he almost dreaded to give it voice. Lestat’s mood changed as he caught his train of thought and he felt Lestat’s concern.

.:No, Louis. Let it go. Does it really matter?:. his lover warned.

He stared at Lestat, astonished. .:Does it matter? Lestat, how can you ask me such a thing?:.

.:What if the answer is yes? What if it’s no?:.

He grew sad and quiet. .:Then at least we’ll know.:.

“Healer,” he began slowly, ignoring Lestat’s disapproval. “If all these things exist… and we exist… does… does God exist too?”

There he’d said it. Now all he had to do was wait for her answer. He held his breath.

“Yes.”

The air came out of him in great rush, and he felt both relief and terrible shame. He lowered his eyes and bowed his head as he asked his next question.

“Have you met Him?”

The healer was silent for a few moments and he couldn’t stand the silence. Lestat was somewhere between anger and fear, terribly unhappy that he was asking such questions, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know. He’d always wanted to know and now he had someone there who did know and could finally give him answers.

“You are making the assumption that God has a gender,” she said.

He startled a little bit and looked at her, confused. Dimly, he heard Lestat laugh.

.:Lestat!:. he scolded.

.:Myths exist, Louis, but full of distortions,:. his lover reminded.

He frowned.

“There is a creative energy. By itself it has no form, only consciousness. If it takes form, it appears in the guise most acceptable to the viewer, thus the image of God is constantly different. Each of us sees Divinity through our own filtered lens,” the healer explained gently.

“But…”

She stopped him, holding up a hand. “You asked this question, young one, and I will answer it to the best of my ability, but understand that you may not like what I have to say.”

He closed his eyes and dropped his shoulders, defeated. “God hates us then. We are an abomination in His… Its eyes.”

“No. You misunderstand as I feared you would.”

He heard her come close and felt her cup his cheek in her small hand, raising his chin so he would look at her even though he had to look down. Gazing into her eyes always made him uncomfortable because he could see the eons there.

“If you want to see God, Louis, all you need to do is look in the mirror, or look at your lover, or at the world. What you see is the embodiment of the Divine. God has no form. To see itself it created things with eyes to reflect back upon it. When you see yourself, God is looking back at you.”

Her answer shocked him and enraged him at the same time. Behind him, Lestat continued to laugh: soft, low, cutting laughter.

“How can that be? We exist only because of an accident! Amel entered the stab wounds in Akasha’s body and merged with her! We are the result of a demonic fusion.”

“Everything happens for a reason, young one. Nothing exists that is not meant to be. There are no accidents.”

“But…”

Again she shushed him, a finger upon his lips. “I know this is hard for you to understand. I feared you would ask me this question because I knew I would answer. But I cannot lie to you, nor would I if I could. I tell you truthfully, we are the embodiment of God. Each of us, everything that exists, is cut from the same Divine cloth. We are all born from the same womb and made from the same thing.”

He shook his head, the tears rising. “I don’t understand. How can that be? How can God suffer us to exist?”

“Because God is too big for details and we are too small not to get tangled up in them.”

“Details?!” he all but shrieked. “We kill to live! How is that a detail?”

She stepped back from him and he felt a serenity radiating from her, seeping into him to dampen his turmoil. He hated it because it felt like she was manipulating him but then Lestat moved close and added his own calming force. He looked at his lover and saw Lestat’s lips set into a grim line.

“Louis,” his lover said aloud. “You must listen to her.”

“Do you hear what she is saying? Do you know what it means?” he demanded.

“Yes,” Lestat replied calmly.

Realization came to him and his eyes opened wide. “You knew! You already knew what she was going to tell me.”

Lestat’s eyes grew sad and he nodded. “I’ve known since I drank her blood. I saw it all then.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” he accused, stepping away and hugging himself.

“You weren’t ready to hear it. You still aren’t. Even after all these years, you still cling to your mortal notions of morality and sin. You comfort yourself in believing that we are damned things and deserve no better, but that is a lie.”

“I cannot believe you kept this from me. Lestat! How could you?”

“Don’t blame him. We were both in agreement that it was better for you not to know until you asked the question yourself,” the healer told him.

“What of Memnoch! What of the places he took Lestat! Armand said that he was gone, that he couldn’t feel Lestat anymore! What of the visions and the Veil! Was all of that not real?” he cried, broken.

“It was real. All of it was real. Memnoch did take Lestat to another place. Hell was as Lestat perceived it. God was as Lestat perceived it. The Veil existed because others said it was so,” she said.

“Then Armand almost died for a lie! And Lestat lay imprisoned in his own head for a decade for a lie!”

“Not a lie. Memnoch is a spiteful and hateful being who enjoys causing pain,” she insisted.

He staggered and fell to his knees, weeping. “Oh! I cannot bear it! I cannot! Everything I believed… everything I knew…”

A strong hand clamped down on his shoulder, holding him still and he looked up to see Lestat standing over him. He was the Lestat of old- cold and hard, his face twisted in anger and disapproval.

“I was wondering when you were going to show your true colors,” he seethed.

.:And as always, you misinterpret my concern for you as cruelty. You are raving and I am terrified for you. I cannot help you because you will not let me. But there is someone else here who can ease your pain,:. Lestat replied.

His mindvoice was stern and laced with anguish, and Louis regretted his accusation because he knew he’d only said it to hurt Lestat.

Lestat did not seem to bear him any blame, however. Instead his lover reached out with his other hand and took hold of the healer’s arm. As the ancient woman stepped forward, Lestat brought her wrist close and pressed the vein to his lips.

.:Drink,:. his lover ordered. .:It may not bring you understanding, but it will calm your raging.:.

He tried to resist, but then Lestat took his nail and cut the vein himself. The scent of the blood overpowered his objections and he sunk his fangs into the healer’s flesh.

The blood was liquid fire, surging power that flooded into him, and with it came a multitude of images he couldn’t hope to understand or interpret. He saw people, places, ages upon ages of time flash before his mind’s eye, and he could barely grasp how old this being was and how long she had walked the earth.

Ancient. One of only a handful of her kind that existed; ten, maybe twelve, that were scattered all over the world. Of them all, she was the oldest, the one who had seen more and done more than any of the others. She had even been aware of when his kind had been created and had tracked the vampires ever since.

He was cast through the visions, streaking by them in one long blur until they finally stopped, and he found himself floating, weightless, in a dark place. It was cold and seemed empty but he knew that was an illusion. Then he became aware that he was not alone and he looked to see the healer beside him. She was dressed in a drape of cloth much like a sari or a Grecian toga, but simpler and completely unadorned. Her hair was down, falling loosely over her shoulders, and she looked for all the world like a pillar of peace and calm.

.:Where are we?:. he asked.

.:Nowhere. Everywhere.:.

.:Why have you brought me here?:.

.:I didn’t. You brought me here.:.

.:Why?:.

.:I don’t know.:.

She didn’t. She really didn’t, and he knew she didn’t, but that didn’t make him feel any better.

.:What happens now?:. he asked.

She shrugged. .:You tell me.:.

.:I don’t know.:.

.:Why don’t you go back then?:.

He looked around him and saw only nothingness. .:I don’t know how.:.

She smiled softly. .:Yes, you do. You just need to believe that you can.:.

.:I don’t understand. I’m lost here.:.

.:Yes, you are.:.

.:Could you be a little more cryptic?:. he snarked. It was something Lestat would have said, but it seemed appropriate.

She laughed. .:Where do you want to go?:.

.:I don’t know.:.

.:Then that is why you are lost here. If you don’t know where you want to be, then how will you know how to get there?:.

.:I came looking for answers, but I don’t think they’re here.:.

.:Are you certain?:.

He looked at her, pleading. .:Won’t you help me?:.

.:How can I?:.

.:Tell me something, anything, that will help me make sense of it all.:.

.:I can only tell you the truth.:.

.:Then tell me that.:.

.:The universe is made up of only one kind of energy.:.

He paused, confused, and stared at her.

.:How can that help me make sense of anything? How does that help me make peace with what I am?:. he complained.

She shrugged again. .:You are what you are.:.

.:What I am is a killer,:. he countered angrily.

.:The world needs those too.:.

He covered his face with his hands, trying to keep himself from falling apart completely. The healer was silent and when he looked up again he saw that she was gone. Instead there stood the one person he had searched for but feared he would never see again until he was in hell.

.:Claudia,:. he breathed, not trusting his eyes.

.:Hello, Father,:. she answered and the sound of her voice sent shivers running through him. It had been so long since he’d heard that voice…

She was clothed in the yellow dress, the same dress she had died in, the same one Lestat had held in his hands as he’d wept and begged him to come back to New Orleans. He didn’t know what had ever happened to that dress. It was possible that Lestat had kept it. He was sentimental that way.

.:Mon dieu! Claudia!:. he sobbed.

He went to her, took her tiny hand in his and pulled her close. She hugged him, her little arms encircling his neck as they embraced.

.:I searched for you, my darling. Jesse said she saw you in the old flat, but I couldn’t find you.:.

.:I wasn’t there. I’m not really here now.:.

.:I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you how much I love you and miss you. Claudia, I’m so sorry.:.

She pulled away from him to look him in the eye. It was so odd to have her weight in his arms, carrying her like he used to do, his beautiful child.

.:Don’t be sorry, Louis.:.

.:But I didn’t save you. I couldn’t get free of the coffin…:.

.:There wasn’t anything you could have done. It was meant to be this way.:.

He shook his head, the tears streaming down his face. .:No.:.

She placed a small finger against his lips to silence his protests. .:Hush, Father. There were too many and they were too strong.:.

.:I knew Armand wanted me. We both did. I should have taken you out of Paris before they had a chance to ambush us.:.

She looked at him sadly and stroked his cheek. .:You wanted Armand too. You made Madeline for me so she could take care of me when you left.:.

He wanted to deny it but he couldn’t. Although he now knew that Armand had been manipulating him, he still bore the guilt of his choices during that time. He had known that Armand had wanted him so they could go off together. He had known that Armand held no love for Claudia. He had let his infatuation with Armand cloud his reason (and gave the immortal teen the ability to control him) when he knew that Claudia was in danger. While he had forgiven Lestat his part in Armand’s drumhead trial, he had never forgiven himself for his own actions during that time.

.:That is no excuse for what I did. I let Armand blind me until it was too late. Your death is my doing.:.

.:No, Father. He knew that you would never be his until I was gone. Even if Lestat had not been there, he would never have let me live. Killing me assured him that you would go with him and he would have his revenge on Lestat as well.:.

He disagreed vehemently. .:You don’t know that. He loved me. He wanted me. If I had pleaded for your life he might have let you go.:.

.:But you did plead for my life. Lestat pleaded for my life. Armand had already decided. He was the one who pushed me and Madeline outside.:.

He wept harder, his shoulders shaking. .:I know. And I went with him anyway… stayed with him… How can you ever forgive me?:.

She kissed him with her soft lips. .:There is nothing to forgive, Father. I never blamed you for what happened. I was glad you went with Armand. You shouldn’t have been alone.:.

.:I should have gone back with Lestat. He begged me to. We could have comforted each other…:.

.:You didn’t love him then as you love him now. You needed the time apart to come to terms with your feelings and Lestat needed to heal.:.

.:Heal from what we had done to him,:. he said bitterly.

.:And from his fall from the tower after Armand pushed him off.:.

He’d almost forgotten about that. After Claudia was dead, and before he had burned down the theatre, Armand had cast Lestat off the tower of the old castle, further injuring his already significantly weakened maker. He knew that Lestat had written that it had taken years for him to heal enough to make the trip back to New Orleans, but he had no idea where Lestat had hidden himself or how he had managed to survive when he was so broken. Lestat had never spoken of it, and, to his shame, he’d never asked.

.:He survived. You both did. And you found each other again when you were both ready.:.

He nodded, smiling softly through his tears. .:You aren’t angry?:.

.:Why would I be? We both loved him. Even when we hated him, we loved him.:.

.:Yes.:.

.:Are you happy now?:.

His smile widened. .:Yes.:.

.:I’m glad. I’m happy too. Where I am, I’m safe and loved. You have no need to fear for me. I’m not suffering.:.

.:I’m so glad to hear that, my darling.:.

Her hand cupped his cheek and she looked at him with her blue eyes, such perfect china doll eyes.

.:I want you to be happy, Louis. You deserve to be happy at last. You need to let go of your guilt.:.

.:I cannot. I must kill to live and that will always weigh upon me,:. he answered, looking away.

.:You are a predator. It is what you are. You are no less than the lion or the wolf.:.

.:But I have a conscience. I know what I am doing is wrong. The mindless beasts do not. Mon dieu, even the lion will feast on a newborn antelope calf without a second thought.:.

.:You fed on me,:. she pointed out.

He blanched. .:That was different. I was mad with hunger. I didn’t know what I was doing.:.

.:And now you honor me by killing those who prey on helpless children. If that is your penance for killing me, then allow it to absolve you. Don’t hold onto it.:.

.:I don’t know if I can do that, Claudia.:.

.:Then do it for Lestat. He needs you now more than ever.:.

.:I don’t know. I can only try.:.

She smiled. .:That is all anyone can ask of you, Father.:.

He chuckled and pulled her close for another hug. .:Oh, Claudia, I love you so much.:.

.:I love you too, Louis. You’ll tell Lestat that I love him for me? You’ll tell him that I forgive him?:.

He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears started anew. .:I will. I promise.:.

.:Good.:.

Her arms around his neck were perfect. Her weight was the same, her scent was the same, but as he held her he knew there was something off about her, something… different.

.:Are you ready to go back now?:.

It was the way she said it that tripped all of his warning alarms and he pulled away even though he was still holding her. The eyes that looked back at him were still blue but they were not Claudia’s.

.:You aren’t Claudia,:. he stated, horror seeping into him.

She faded from his arms before he could push her away and rematerialized in the form of the healer in front of him. He cringed and stepped back, wounded beyond comprehension.

.:Why? Why did you do that? Why her?:. he demanded angrily.

.:She was the one you most wanted to see.:.

.:But it wasn’t real! It wasn’t her!:.

.:It was and it was not. The universe is made of only one kind of energy. We are all One here,:. she said calmly.

.:So it was her?:. he ventured hopefully.

.:It was her through me.:.

.:Why?:.

.:She was the one you would listen to and you needed to understand.:.

.:Understand what? That I am a killer and it’s okay to be a killer?:.

.:Yes.:.

He shook his head. .:I can’t do that.:.

.:You told her that you would try.:.

He winced, remembering. She had seemed so real to him…

.:I… I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.:.

.:No, you don’t, and that will be your new beginning. In the not knowing you will seek to know and in seeking you will find new answers. But know that these answers lie within yourself and cannot be given to you by someone else.:.

.:So I am on my own then? Abandoned?:.

She smiled sadly and shook her head. .:No, my child. No. You are never alone. The universe is made of only one kind of energy.:.

.:You keep saying that but I don’t know what it means.:.

.:When you do, you’ll have all the answers you require.:.

The silence fell between them and he stared at her. Like the image of Claudia, the healer looked and smelled the same, but also like Claudia, there was something triggering his senses that all was not as it seemed. A cold breeze blew through the nothingness and a faint voice came with it; Lestat’s voice calling to him.

.:Lestat…:.

.:He’s calling you. It’s time for you to go,:. she said, looking off into the blackness.

The voice was different this time, deeper and more resonant. It made him shiver.

.:You aren’t the healer either are you?:.

She smiled softly and raised a hand, light glowing around her palm and fingers, but soon growing to encompass her whole body until she was radiant with it. He was bathed in the soft glow and he felt a calming peace overcome him. It was an altogether unfamiliar feeling but one he welcomed. It was safe. It was warm. It was like coming home.

He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he looked into hers and froze. They were black now, black orbs with no irises, but he thought saw dots of light in them. He squinted to see better and gasped when he realized that her eyes were fields of stars.

.:Are you… are you God?:. he asked, awestruck.

She looked kindly upon him and he was filled with Divine Love.

.:I am you.:.

With that he was thrust back, not harshly or angrily, but purposefully, and he went falling through the black abyss. He did not have time to be afraid, however, because he was soon wrapped in a cushioning cocoon of love and comfort.

‘Lestat…’ he thought, recognizing the mind that held him close.

.:Louis. Come back to me, Louis…:.

Awareness slowly returned to him. His eyes were still closed but he was conscious of the arms that held him, and he could hear and smell his lover. He opened his eyes and the world came into focus a few moments later. Lestat was looking down at him, his face worried, but he smiled the moment he saw that he was looking back.

.:Louis.:.

.:Lestat.:.

It was odd. He didn’t remember being sprawled on the floor, but that was where he now was with his head in Lestat’s lap. Creasing his brow, he cast about the room until he saw the healer sitting on the new divan. She looked pale but otherwise seemed unharmed.

.:What happened?:. he asked.

.:You were feeding from the healer when you suddenly collapsed,:. Lestat explained. .:Then you wouldn’t wake up no matter how much I shook or pleaded with you.:.

‘That explains why my brain feels as if it’s been rattled around my head,’ he mused, putting one hand on his forehead.

“I don’t remember any of that,” he admitted.

.:You frightened me, Louis. I thought that something had happened to you.:.

He reached up to touch his lover’s cheek.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

.:You took a lot of blood from her, Louis. She had to pry your fangs out of her arm when she thought you had taken too much.:.

He cast a worried glance over at her and struggled to sit up. Lestat helped him and supported him with an arm around his back.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I Madam? I didn’t take too much?”

The healer smiled then began to laugh softly, a weary laughter but laughter nonetheless.

“And your first thought is not for yourself but for my welfare. What a precious jewel you are. Is there any wonder why Lestat has always adored you?”

Arms came around him and he was drawn against Lestat’s chest with Lestat’s chin on his shoulder.

.:He’s mine. You can’t have him,:. Lestat warned, half teasing and half serious.

The healer laughed again and shook her head. “What would I possibly do with him? Ah no, my plate is full enough without a love interest. Besides, if you don’t know that he is completely devoted to you, not only is love blind, it’s deaf and dumb too.”

Lestat laughed and because his back was pressed to Lestat’s chest he felt the laughter rumbling through his own body. It tickled.

.:Touché!:.

With a sigh the healer stood and he pushed away from Lestat so he could rise to his feet as well. It was the polite thing to do after all.

“But I fear I must be going. There is much for me to do come daybreak and I need to recoup my strength.”

“Forgive me. I drained you,” he apologized, chagrined.

She waved her hand dismissively and picked up her coat, slipping it on. “It is nothing a little rest won’t cure. Trust me, young one, I’ve suffered much worse.”

He nodded gravely, remembering some of the memories he had seen in her mind. He stepped forward and took her hands, raising her fingers to his lips.

“Thank you, Madam. For everything.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome.” .:Did you find the answers you sought?:.

.:Some. I need to think about it for a while.:.

She nodded and pulled her hands gently from his grasp as she turned for the stairs.

“Good night, Louis. Good night, Lestat.”

Lestat went to her and grabbed her in a fierce hug, kissing her forehead. “Thank you,” his lover whispered aloud, then quickly released her.

He saw her smile at Lestat and pat him on the arm.

“Anytime, Lestat. If you need me, come find me and I’ll do what I can.”

Lestat kissed her again then stepped back so she could leave.

“Bonne nuit, Madam,” he said.

“Good night, Louis. Be safe.”

“And you.”

With a final nod and a smile they watched as she descended the stairs and went out the carriage gate. As per his custom, Lestat closed and locked the door and gate behind her. When she was gone they turned to each other and Lestat hugged him.

.:I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,:. his lover apologized.

He sighed and melted into the embrace. .:I understand why you didn’t.:.

.:Are you alright? You really were out for a while.:.

He nodded and pulled away. .:Yes. I just have a lot to process.:.

Lestat nodded back. .:I understand.:.

For a moment he wondered if he should tell Lestat about Claudia, but decided that one emotional upheaval was enough for one night. Besides, if he told Lestat about his visions, Lestat would probably want to know every detail down to whether or not Claudia had been wearing the cameo he’d given her (she had been,) and he wasn’t certain he was up to that.

What he really wanted was to just go to bed and let his lover hold him. His arm was healed now and he was feeling very full from the healer’s blood. If he was lucky, he might be able to get Lestat to give him some attention while he was still warm. Lestat picked up on his thoughts and crooned, nibbling his earlobe.

.:My darling wants loving.:.

He moaned softly and stroked Lestat’s chest. .:If you’re willing.:.

.:If I’m willing? What kind of a stupid question is that?:. Lestat teased, sweeping him up to carry him to the bedroom.

.:Well, I don’t know. They do say that the passion fades after a while in long term relationships,:. he goaded back.

.:My darling I have loved you and wanted you for two hundred years. I don’t think my passion for you will ever fade.:.

Lestat placed him on their bed and began unbuttoning his shirt. He allowed it, raising his arms obligingly so his lover could take it off.

.:Even if I grow old and get warts?:. he joked.

.:Somehow, I don’t think wrinkles and warts are going to be a problem for us, Louis,:. Lestat answered, pulling off his own t-shirt and kicking off his jeans before crawling into bed.

.:You think?:.

.:Yes, I do. And if you’re still thinking, I’m doing something wrong.:.

He chuckled then gasped when Lestat began undoing the button on his trousers and taking down the zipper with his teeth, then he felt the cool wetness of his lover’s tongue licking his sensitive flesh. He melted back against the bedclothes and moaned in surrender. Lestat had always proven himself to be amazingly talented with his mouth.

.:You are so very good at this,:. he commented, the warm coil of lust winding its way into his belly.

.:What can I say? I’m orally fixated.:.

He laughed and stretched his body to full display, laying himself out like a banquet for Lestat to feast upon. The motion did not go unnoticed and he heard Lestat moan.

Soon Lestat was crawling up his body, licking him along the way until his lips were claimed and he wrapped his limbs around his lover. He loved the slow, sweet foreplay Lestat was so adept at. It always made his body sing like a fine instrument.

Lestat pulled back and he looked into the blue-grey eyes so full of adoration and joy. Staring into them he remembered what the healer had told him: ‘If you want to see God, look at your lover.’

He smiled and felt the Divine Love all over again.

‘God is looking back at me.’

.:What are you thinking that has that look on your face?:. Lestat asked, pausing in his attentions and creasing his brow.

.:Like what?:. he answered innocently.

.:Like you’re seeing me for the first time and are completely enthralled by me.:.

.:Maybe it’s because I am.:.

.:Seeing me for the first time?:.

He chuckled and ran his fingers through Lestat’s golden curls. .:No. Completely enthralled by you.:.

Lestat grinned and kissed him. .:Oh. Well, that’s okay then. For a moment I was worried that you were seeing someone else.:.

.:I was.:.

Lestat blinked. .:You were?:.

He nodded and pulled Lestat closer.

.:I was seeing me.:.

.:Huh?:.

.:I love you Lestat.:.

As always the words were Lestat’s undoing and he quickly forgot anything else.

.:I love you too, Beautiful One.:.

He smiled, his soul and heart singing, as he clung to his lover and let him take them both to Paradise.

14

It was Christmas Eve. Even though it was raining, the temperature was mild, much milder than last year when the residents of New Orleans had awakened to a half inch of snow on Christmas morning. Of course, it had all melted by the time he had risen Christmas night, but he had been witness to it as it fell on Christmas Eve. He’d sat in the courtyard of St. Elizabeth’s and watched in rapt fascination as the tiny flakes came down to blanket the cement pavement in white.

He’d never really experienced snow as a mortal and as a vampire he preferred warmer climes because he had no inherent body heat of his own, but he had memories of his time in New York with Armand and the winters there. It had snowed quite frequently then and he had recollections of at least two snowball fights that Armand had tried to goad him into joining. He’d refused and been pummeled by immigrant street children while Armand laughed until his eyes bled. It had snowed in San Francisco once or twice while he was there as well.

But the snow that had fallen on New Orleans was different in that it stayed white. In the city, snow only stayed white until it hit the ground. Then it turned a sloppy grey when it was mixed with the dirt so prevalent in cities. He remembered the ugly slush that had covered the streets on New York winter mornings and crinkled his nose in distaste. No, the snow that had landed on the courtyard had been perfectly white and pure until it melted with the sunrise. He’d marveled at it, letting it fall on his hands and face. Because he was as cold as the night air it hadn’t melted on his skin, and he’d had a time studying each flake that landed on his hands.

He’d been enthralled for hours until Armand, making one of his infrequent visits, had interrupted him. To this day, he swore the immortal teen had come not to see Lestat, but to keep him company on Christmas Eve. Of all the vampires he knew, Armand was the only one who could truly understand the depth (and ultimate paradox) of the faith they still clung to. Together they had attended Lestat, carefully wiping the dust from his face and brushing his hair until Armand had taken his leave just before dawn. It had been a bittersweet night.

Tonight was bittersweet as well, but in its own way. Only a fraction of the displaced residents had returned to New Orleans and the city was all but empty. Lestat escorted him to Midnight Mass in St. Louis Cathedral and sat with him in a rear pew. Mortals needed tickets to attend the service, but admission was never a problem for either of them.

He spent much of the Mass contemplating the crucifix and the notion that God, or whatever the creative energy called Itself, had taken the form of a mortal commoner and chosen to die in such a gruesome way. He wondered why, and then realized that God must have known all along that He/She/It wouldn’t die on the cross; that Death wouldn’t come because He/She/It couldn’t die. So what was the point of going through that much suffering at all? Was it just to get people’s attention? Could it all be boiled down to what the modern media called a publicity stunt? He found that he didn’t like that idea at all.

Beside him Lestat was silent, lost in his own thoughts it seemed. The feelings coming across the bond were ones of tolerance and mild boredom. He even thought Lestat might have fallen asleep a couple of times only to be awakened by the choir. At one point during the service, Lestat reached out to take his hand, completely oblivious to the disapproving looks from the woman next to them.

.:Careful,:. he warned. .:Pope John Paul II is dead and the new Pope has no love for same sex pairings.:.

He heard Lestat snort. .:So I have heard. Is he the embodiment of God then or of Man?:.

He had to admit that Lestat did have a point and he relaxed, then spent the remainder of the Mass contemplating what the healer had told him and the visions he had witnessed. He had told Lestat about seeing Claudia, and his lover had been surprisingly quiet on the subject. When he’d asked Lestat what he had thought of his visions, Lestat had looked at him with red-rimmed eyes and replied that he was so happy that Claudia was somewhere safe, that she wasn’t suffering and that, wherever she was, she was loved. He’d said that he took great comfort in that, then he began to cry softly and they had both ended up weeping for their loss in a way that they’d never had before. Neither of them had ever grieved the death of their daughter in the other’s presence, and he’d found a great cleansing in the act, as if mourning with Lestat had washed a stain from his soul and left it clean. Afterwards he’d felt peaceful and he could almost feel Claudia with him again, happy and approving.

The Mass ended and he and Lestat made their way out. He knew many of the parishioners were headed home to partake of the traditional feast after Midnight Mass, but he and Lestat were planning only a simple exchange of gifts- preferably in bed. He had some idea that they were entertaining guests Christmas Night. There had been some talk of David and Marius coming over and he thought he had heard Lestat mention Armand’s name as well. He wondered how that would work; if Armand would come at a time when he knew Marius would not be there or if he and Lestat would end up playing referee when the two ended up in the same room at the same time. Somehow he hoped the former would be how things worked out because he had no desire to witness a row between Marius and Armand, and he certainly didn’t think a big fight on Christmas would help Lestat any.

He became aware of the presence when they crossed the Rue St. Louis on their way back to the Rue Royale flat. The mind he touched was powerful and well shielded but he was getting much better at detecting and hearing the thoughts of any vampires that came into his territory. Lestat seemed oblivious but then he would be. This vampire was beyond his lover’s ability to feel or hear because he was her maker, and Lestat didn’t see her until she materialized out of the shadows near the corner of the Rue Bienville.

‘Mother,’ came Lestat’s immediate thought before he corrected it. .:Gabrielle…:.

Every time he saw Gabrielle, he was amazed by the family resemblance. There was no doubt these two were mother and son, but Gabrielle’s beauty was cold and distant. He knew that both of Lestat’s parents had been anything but loving so he often wondered how Lestat could be so open and affectionate. Psychology books would probably say that Lestat was acting out how he had wanted to be treated as a child, but he wasn’t sure if that was the entire reason. In any case, she came stepping out from underneath a wrought iron balcony dressed in khakis and a short-sleeved shirt.

They paused on the street and waited for her to approach them, so they were very surprised when she turned and began walking the other way. He felt Lestat’s pain at the apparent rejection and almost called out when they heard her speak.

“Not here on the street. I’ll meet you at your flat,” she said over her shoulder and they both began to quickly follow.

Lestat grabbed him around the waist a moment later and he felt the disorientation as he was swept off the ground.

Armand had called Gabrielle a cold bitch in his memoir and said everyone in the coven hated her. That wasn’t entirely true. While he wasn’t terribly fond of her, he certainly didn’t hate her nor did he wish her any harm. His feelings for Lestat’s mother were somewhere between disappointment and distain. Disappointment in that she’d vanished after six months of watching Lestat on the floor of St. Elizabeth’s without so much as a good-bye, and distain in that she had never bothered to teach her son to read while they were both still alive. It seemed incomprehensible to him for her to have been so well read and so literate, yet allow her son to go without even the very basics of reading and writing.

When put to the question, Lestat had always defended his mother, although now with the bond he felt his lover’s resentment. He would explain that Gabrielle used her salon to hide away from the horror that was her life, and the shackles that marriage and childbearing had placed upon her soul. Most likely Lestat’s father was as cruel to her as he was to his youngest son, but he doubted that Lestat would have tolerated anyone raising a hand to her. He often wondered how many beatings Lestat had suffered that had begun with him defending Gabrielle. Lestat wouldn’t say but his silence was all the confirmation he needed to prove his suspicions true.

No doubt when Gabrielle knew she would die from the consumption, she viewed her inevitable death as a release. Therefore it must have been all the more important for her to make sure her youngest would escape as well. He never had any reason to question Gabrielle’s love for Lestat. Everything good that had ever come to his lover had come from his mother. She had used her jewels to buy him his dogs, his horse, his guns, and lastly his freedom from his father’s oppressive house. In turn, Lestat had been the dutiful son and given his mother a new life.

He knew Lestat loved his mother fiercely. Both of them had ‘been to the circle of Hell’ as it were and the ties between them transcended the usual maker-fledgling bond. Still, Gabrielle had abandoned Lestat more than once and Louis had a difficult time forgiving that. As for why it had taken her nearly four months to come see her son, she had probably been off in the jungles she so loved and hadn’t learned of Lestat’s rising until recently. It would be in keeping with what he knew of her and her favored habits.

She was waiting on the balcony when they arrived, her back resting casually against the side of the townhouse. Coming closer, he saw that she had left her hair long which meant that she was trying to please Lestat. It seemed that Lestat had a ‘thing’ for long hair and he hated it when either he or Gabrielle cut theirs. He remembered that from their time on the Night Island; how much Lestat would fret whenever he would take a scissors and shear off his hair or how he would almost cry when Gabrielle snipped off her braid. He knew from experience that Lestat loved to play with his hair, often running his hand through Louis’s black locks for long moments. He often woke to Lestat letting the soft waves slide along his palms and through his fingers.

To be honest, he liked when Lestat fussed with his hair. The act of having his hair brushed or his scalp rubbed was very pleasurable and they indulged in it often. Lestat had even purchased a special boar hair brush, and he would spend hours just running it through his lover’s black tresses while they sat, chest-to-back, on the divan or in bed.

They both jumped and cleared the wrought iron rail to land lightly on the balcony. Gabrielle made no motion that she was surprised when he did this, but then she was very good at hiding her feelings. Lestat unlocked the doors and they swung open, allowing them access to the parlor. They both waited, allowing Gabrielle to enter the flat first and she gave them an impatient look before she stepped inside. He saw Lestat roll his eyes and felt his exasperation through the bond.

Once they were inside and the doors closed, they all stood in the parlor and endured an uncomfortable silence. Gabrielle was looking at them, her face stoic, and they looked back at her waiting to see who would speak first. Finally, Lestat, never one for patience anyway, stepped forward, his arms open.

“Gabrielle,” his lover said, his voice soft and hopeful.

“Lestat,” she answered, allowing her son to hug her and kiss her on the cheek.

Lestat stepped back, his hands on her shoulders and looked at her. “You look radiant.”

“Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas, Madam,” he said, entering the conversation as he moved to stand at Lestat’s shoulder. For some reason, it seemed that Gabrielle was avoiding eye contact with him and he didn’t like it.

“Hello, Louis,” she replied.

Her voice was cool, her expression wary and she cast a quick glance at Lestat who blinked back at her, confused.

The silence fell again and he could feel that Lestat was growing increasingly unhappy so he raised his hands and tried to assuage the situation.

“Gabrielle, it is so very good to see you. How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine. Thank you for asking.”

Her voice was distantly polite and it rankled him. Lestat picked it up too and his emotions went swinging. Louis grounded in order to avoid a situation and slid his hand over to grasp Lestat’s palm.

.:It’s alright, my love,:. he assured him.

.:But she’s angry and I don’t know why! What could I possibly have done to make her angry? I haven’t seen her in almost two decades!:.

He sighed and clenched his jaw, his protective instincts rising to the fore. Things had been going well recently, and the last thing he needed was another setback like the one they’d had earlier in the month.

“So, what brings you to New Orleans?” he asked, forcing Gabrielle to look at him as Lestat took a step back.

She regarded him carefully for a few moments then answered, “I came to see my son.”

“Lestat is very happy to see you as well.”

“Alone,” she added firmly.

.:Lestat?:. he questioned.

Lestat shook his head. .:Don’t leave me alone with her, Louis, please. If she is angry with me, I could not bear it.:.

“I am sorry, Madam, but Lestat wishes me to remain.”

“Hmph,” she said, her eyes turning hard.

They stood still as she frowned and circled around them like a lioness assessing her prey. The action was extremely disconcerting and made Lestat very nervous.

“How very unlike you, Lestat,” she finally commented, returning to her position in front of them. “You’ve never hidden behind anyone before.”

He glared, fighting the urge to bare his teeth. “Lestat has been through a great deal in the past decade. He is still recovering. Sometimes he needs me to stay and speak for him.”

“Even when faced with his own mother?”

It was a challenge and he knew it, but he refrained from taking the bait.

“Please do not be offended. Lestat has refused to speak at all to most of our visitors.”

She raised her eyes to Lestat. “And you refuse to be alone with me?”

Lestat looked away and stepped closer to him, seeking protection. He moved sideways, blocking Gabrielle’s direct view. She raised her chin and gave him a disdainful glare.

“I see. So that is how it is to be then. I was hoping that Marius had been exaggerating, but I see that he was not.”

“I’m sorry, Madam,” he apologized, then added, “Perhaps if you were not so angry…”

“Angry? You think I am angry?” she interrupted.

“Forgive me, but it is painfully obvious that you are not happy.”

She gave him a look that said she had measured him and found him wanting. “Would you be if you were in my position?”

He blinked at her, at a loss, and there was no sense in probing her mind for the answer because she was very well shielded.

“I’m sorry, Madam, but what position is that?” he asked.

“One where a mother needs an arbiter to speak to her son.”

He shook his head. “I assure you, Madam that is not the case. I am certain that once things calm down, Lestat would be happy to speak to you in private even if he is reluctant right now. I am not an arbiter. I am just trying to protect Lestat.”

“From here it looks more like you’re in my way,” she replied coldly.

She raised her hand. Whether it was to push him aside or to actually strike him, he would never know because Lestat’s reaction was immediate. His lover’s hand whipped out and grabbed Gabrielle’s arm by the wrist and held it tightly.

“You won’t touch him,” Lestat hissed, his voice soft but full of menace.

Gabrielle didn’t seem the least bit alarmed or surprised to see Lestat come to his defense, nor did she try to pull her arm out of his grasp.

Mother and son stared at each other for long moments until Gabrielle roughly yanked her wrist out of Lestat’s hand.

“You always did defend him, although God knows why. He’s tried to kill you twice and refused to help you when you needed aid. Why do you suffer him to live?” she asked her son.

“You abandoned me and left me to survive on my own. You’re still alive. I also noticed that it wasn’t your face I saw when I was first released from my imprisonment,” Lestat commented harshly.

“You needed to learn how to live in the world and not be dependent on others for your sense of self. That is something you never learned, my son, and it’s why you have made such disastrous mistakes. My god, you’ve made three fledglings who should never have been made in the first place all because you couldn’t stand to be alone,” she argued.

They were ignoring him now and he wasn’t quite certain what he ought to do, if anything. Gabrielle obviously did not care a whit if he knew what she thought of him and was making no bones about it. He took a small step to the side to give the two of them more room, but Lestat immediately moved back into his personal space.

“I notice that you don’t count yourself among those,” Lestat snapped.

“Of course not. I was ready to become what I am and I’ve never regretted it. Nicolas, on the other hand, couldn’t take the change and this one, your beloved bourgeois planter, hated himself so much that you had to make a six year-old into a vampire in order to keep him.”

Lestat shook his head vehemently. “The mistakes I made with Claudia were not Louis’s fault.”

“Do you honestly believe that? The child would never have been made if not for him. And then later he stood idly by while she poisoned you and slit your throat.”

“Louis had no foreknowledge of her plan.”

That wasn’t true. Yes, he hadn’t known exactly what she was going to do or when, but he had known that her hatred for Lestat was driving her to kill him.

“Even he knows that’s a lie,” Gabrielle snarled. “He might not have known when or how, but he certainly had some idea of what she was planning. He didn’t even seek to warn you.”

‘But I wanted to. I tried,’ he thought, remembering. ‘Many times I wanted to say ‘Lestat, beware. Beware, she hates you. She’s planning to rise against you’ but I never did. Each time I went to open my mouth, the words caught in my throat. I feared what he would do to her. I didn’t know then that he’d never hurt her, that he desperately loved both of us… In the end, I was so paralyzed that I could do nothing when she finally did it…’

“Oh really? I suppose then someone else shoved my son into the fire,” Gabrielle seethed, obviously picking up on his thoughts.

He jerked, not realizing that his shields were down, and stared at her. He was trembling, on the verge of tears.

“No,” he admitted hoarsely. “No, that was me. I shoved Lestat into the fire.”

She cast an accusing glare at Lestat. “And even then, you refused to speak against him to Armand. You didn’t tell them it was him who set you ablaze. You let the child take the blame for all of it so he would be spared.”

“I didn’t want to speak against either of them! I didn’t want vengeance. I didn’t even know they were in Paris!” Lestat cried.

Gabrielle stepped right into Lestat’s face and met him nose to nose. “You played right into that urchin’s hands. You let him cow you because you’d already been cowed by your useless fledglings.”

“No,” Lestat denied.

‘Yes. He’d been too weakened by what we had done to him to fight Armand. It was our fault that he couldn’t fight to save her. If he’d been at his full power, he could have spirited us both out of there and none of Armand’s lackeys would have been able to stop us…’ he thought, despair rising in him.

.:That isn’t true,:. he heard Lestat argue.

“He is pathetic. He always was,” Gabrielle spat.

Arms came around him, pulling him close as Lestat hugged him and kissed his temple. He gripped the front of Lestat’s blue cable sweater and squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t bleed on the expensive wool.

.:I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…:.

“Enough. I won’t tolerate you insulting Louis, Mother. You have to stop this right now!”

“He is weak. He’s always been weak. Why did you tie yourself to him? He will destroy you.”

It was in that moment that Gabrielle let her guard down and he was able to see the briefest glimpse of what was going on in her mind. He had expected to witness the hate and anger in her, but he was completely surprised by the amount of fear that was there as well. In an instant he realized that Gabrielle was terrified for her son and all of her rancor and fury stemmed from that fear.

Thinking about it, he couldn’t blame her for being afraid for Lestat. Gabrielle was fiercely independent and very much a loner. Lestat’s need for companions had always disturbed her, and she worried that he did not have the strength to stand on his own. That fact alone would have predisposed her to being against him, but to add the permanency of the soul bond to the mix only spelled disaster for her and furthered her fears. When he looked at it her way, he found that he couldn’t begrudge her her feelings nor could he say that her concerns were not valid because he often had them himself. But her true motivations were no reason for her to verbally attack them, nor would they help solve any of the issues at hand. Steeling his resolve, he pulled out of Lestat’s embrace and turned to face their visitor.

“Gabrielle…” he tried but Lestat cut him off.

.:No, Louis. You let me deal with my mother. She has no intention of listening to anything you have to say.:.

The conviction behind the order gave him pause and he relented. Lestat was still the primary protector of their pair and he was seeing the situation as a threat. Louis really had no choice but to let Lestat deal with it or else he risked Lestat raging at him. As much as he wanted to intervene, he knew that he had to trust Lestat to handle Gabrielle.

.:Thank you,:. Lestat answered, sending pride and love mixed with a little relief across the bond.

He nodded. Trusting Lestat wasn’t something that came easily for him but he was learning. He could almost see the mental grin that Lestat sent him at that and stifled his own smile.

“You think Louis is weak, Mother?” Lestat said angrily. “Louis is the strongest vampire I know. For all of his physical weakness and lack of vampiric powers, he has endured. He has survived two hundred years, seventy of which he spent with me. The remainder he spent being hunted, first by those who would kill him because he burned down the Theatre des Vampires, and later by those who would kill him for giving his infamous interview.

“Through it all he has managed to survive without the benefit of the gifts we take for granted. He couldn’t read minds or put his victims in a trance. He was an open book to any one of us with even the most minimal of telepathic capabilities, yet he managed to keep his identity a secret. In all his sorrow and suffering he has never sought to end it or to go down into the earth. He has lived two centuries when the odds were so ridiculously stacked against him it’s a wonder he even made it out of his first decade.”

Lestat paused and put both hands on his shoulders, his fingers digging into his muscles but not enough to cause pain. He bore it silently, not entirely certain what to think of Lestat’s soliloquy. But as it turned out Lestat wasn’t finished, nor was he done with his revelations.

“For all of my powerful blood and abilities, I have gone into the earth twice and even tried to end it in the Gobi. Three times I have had to remove myself from the world because I couldn’t handle existing any longer. I couldn’t stand to go on. I couldn’t adapt. I didn’t want to live anymore,” Lestat went on.

He watched as Lestat stepped forward and put his face almost to Gabrielle’s nose, forcing her to take a step back.

“You want to know why I bound myself to Louis, Mother? Because I’m the weak one. I need him to show me how to live in this world; how to be part of it but not get swallowed up by it. I need him to help me adapt to the new ages; how to handle the passage of time and the ever changing world around us.

“Louis has strength, Mother. It’s strength we can’t see or sense, but it’s strength I need. I need him. I know you’re afraid that my pairing with him will be my downfall, that his weakness will prove to be my own and we will both die, but believe me when I tell you that without him I am lost. He has saved me. He saves me every night.”

He didn’t even realize that he was weeping until Lestat stopped and looked his way. His lover’s face softened and he came over to lick his tears away with a gentle tongue.

.:Don’t cry, my darling.:.

.:Lestat… Those things you just said…:.

.:All true, Beautiful One. You’re the strongest of us all.:.

.:No…:.

Lestat gathered him close, kissing his eyelids. He sighed and pressed his cheek to the throbbing pulse at Lestat’s throat.

“And what will you do the next time he decides you’re not worth saving? What will you do then?” Gabrielle asked coldly.

He pulled back far enough to look into the blue-grey eyes. .:You know that will never happen, don’t you?:.

Lestat smiled at him. .:I know.:.

His lover took a step back and pivoted, keeping one arm around his shoulders but making it such that they both turned to face Gabrielle.

“Louis will never deny me again,” Lestat assured her.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I do. And if you understood the bond that is now between us, you would know it too.”

“I know enough about it to know that you are a fool.”

Lestat sighed and slumped his shoulders. “Can’t you be happy for me, Mother, just once? I’m so happy and it pains me to know that you don’t approve.”

“Lestat, I love you, and that is why I think this is wrong.”

Lestat was going to answer, but he stopped him by placing a hand on his arm.

.:Lestat, please. There is something I must say.:.

His lover gave him a worried look but agreed with a small nod.

.:Alright, my darling. But don’t expect her to listen to you.:.

“Gabrielle. It appears that you are operating under the assumption that Lestat chose this bond. He did not. The healer feared that Lestat would awaken half-crazed after she broke the spell that was holding him and go on a rampage. If that had happened, Maharet was sure to kill him.”

“Because she is our self-appointed judge, jury and executioner,” she spat contemptuously.

He ignored her outburst and continued.

“We were afraid of what would happen so the healer said it was best to bond Lestat to someone else so that he would be anchored properly. I chose to be the one who was bonded to him. At that time, Lestat was still under the spell so he had no say in the matter.”

“But now that he is awake and aware, and obviously not raving, the bond can be broken. He doesn’t need you anymore.”

The rush of rage that hit him was so hard and strong that he physically shook, his hands clenching. Both he and Lestat were furious and deeply offended, and it was all he could do not to slap her (which was a testament to how angry he was because he still thought it was horrible to strike a woman.)

“How do you know I’m not raving?” Lestat pointed out maliciously. “I could be completely out of my mind.”

“You aren’t,” she answered.

“You don’t know that. Just the other night I shut down completely and the only way Louis was able to bring me back was by cutting his own arms. I’m not fine, Mother. I am far from fine.”

“Gabrielle, what you are suggesting… It’s nearly impossible. Yes, the bond could be broken but neither of us would ever be whole again and the separation would probably kill us,” he said.

She looked away and he got another glimpse of the fear and despair she was feeling. She was utterly devastated and he felt so bad for her, but there was nothing he could do.

“Mother?” Lestat asked.

“I… I can’t deal with this. Not now,” she replied.

He felt the cold dread seep across the bond and he knew Lestat was afraid of what she meant, even more so because he already knew.

“Mother, please.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “No, Lestat. I love you too much, my son. I can’t stay here and see the mockery you have made of yourself.”

“Don’t do this, please. Please stay and let us show you that we’re both stronger for it. You should see what Louis can do now, Mother. He’s so much more powerful. He can’t fly yet, but he can teleport and move things with his mind…”

She cut him off. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve still destroyed yourself. You tied yourself to this inferior creature and it’s going to kill you.”

“I told you to stop insulting Louis, Mother.”

“I’m sorry. There isn’t anything good I can say about it.”

“Not even the fact that I am happy? That isn’t good?”

She scowled. “You’re never happy for long, Lestat and you know it. All too soon, you’ll get tired of carrying him and you’ll find yourself trapped all over again.”

“Never,” Lestat denied forcefully, backing it up with a mental rebuttal. .:Never, my darling. Don’t believe her!:.

He clenched his jaw and nodded, knowing that Lestat was telling the truth.

“I don’t believe that,” she said harshly. “You were never satisfied with your lot. You always hungered for more. It’s your nature to be greedy.”

“Greedy because I was empty!” Lestat shouted. “Empty because my father hated me and wished I had never been born. Empty because my brothers tormented me. Because my mother locked herself in her rooms with her blasted books instead of teaching me to read! Because I was raped into this life and abandoned by my maker on the same night. Because everyone I loved left me! Empty because nothing I ever did or tried was ever good enough! When Mother? When will I be good enough? Tell me that. When will I be good enough?”

Mother and son stared at each other and he cried inside for the pain Lestat was in, but he did not move or speak.

“I can’t,” she whispered, then added, “But I can tell you it’s not now.”

Lestat choked back a sob and turned his face away from her.

“Get out. I don’t want to see you until you’ve come to your senses,” he lover said dully.

He gasped. .:Lestat!:.

.:Leave it, Louis. Don’t interfere. She would have me choose between you. I’m making my choice.:.

His heart ached but he acquiesced even though it pained him to do so. He grounded just in case because he could feel how much anguish his lover was in.

“That will be a very long time, my son.”

Lestat sniffed and nodded but no tears fell. “So be it, but that is your choice.”

There was another awkward silence then Gabrielle made her way to the balcony. “I do love you my son,” she said softly.

“That is never in question, Mother. What you have to do is accept me. If you can’t do that then I can’t have you in my life,” his lover replied, not looking at her.

“I’m sorry. Good bye, Lestat.”

“Good bye, Mother.”

“One more thing, my son. This city reeks of death and decay. You should leave before the stench overwhelms you.”

He winced, knowing full well that the scent of Katrina still wafted through the streets like an ill wind. Hell, they were even still finding bodies in the rubble.

“New Orleans is my home, Mother. I won’t abandon her just because she has fallen on hard times. She needs me now more than ever,” Lestat answered.

Gabrielle’s reply was a derisive snort. She left a moment later, closing the French doors behind her. The instant they heard the latch click home, Lestat broke down in tears. He hugged him, sending love and comfort across the bond.

.:Lestat. It’s alright, Lestat.:.

Bloodshot blue-grey eyes met his and the despair there humbled him.

.:Am I good, Louis? Am I good?:.

He nodded, weeping himself as he stroked the blond curls and kissed Lestat’s eyelids. .:Yes, my love, you’re good.:.

.:I only ever wanted to be good, but they wouldn’t let me.:.

.:I know.:.

.:I’ll be good for you, I promise.:.

.:I know you will, but all you have to be is yourself, Lestat. I love you just the way you are.:.

.:I don’t deserve you, Louis. Thank you so much for loving me in spite of all my faults.:.

.:None of us is perfect, Lestat, least of all me.:.

.:But you are perfect, Beautiful One. You’re perfect for me.:.

He nodded, not arguing, and took Lestat’s hand, leading him to the bedroom. Physical contact cemented their bond and he knew no better way than to lie naked in bed. Lestat surprised him by offering to be the submissive in their joining, and when he went to protest, Lestat responded by showing him how such a thing could be possible.

The obstacle of Lestat’s hardened flesh was overcome by Lestat himself as he used his hand to stretch the muscles and ease the way. Even then, he was reluctant, not wanting to cause Lestat pain or bring up bad memories, but Lestat insisted. It was odd seeing Lestat lying there so placid and patient, just waiting for him to overcome his reservations. The amount of trust Lestat was showing him humbled him and made him gentle.

He moved slowly, sometimes too slowly for Lestat, and made each motion careful and tender. Lestat had to remind him a number of times that he couldn’t hurt him, but he still took extra care so that Lestat experienced no pain in the joining. He watched Lestat’s face as they coupled to make sure Lestat was seeing him and not a ghost from the past. Lestat smiled and said there was no chance of that.

Their joining was profound. It was nothing like his faded memories of bedding women, not only because Lestat was male and a vampire, but also because he was able to let go completely. He had no fear that he would harm his partner with his strength or frighten him with the force of his passion. No, Lestat welcomed his abandon and met him move for move. He reveled in Louis’s possession and gave him everything he had to offer. Lestat’s surrender was so complete it amazed him, but he accepted it as part of the incredible gift he was being given.

In the middle of their lovemaking Lestat did something that took him completely by surprise. His lover grounded, completely and on his own without any prompting or direction from him. The feeling of being connected to the earth shocked him at first because he wasn’t expecting it, but when he looked into Lestat’s eyes and saw the peace there, he relaxed. It was then that he realized a startling (and tragic) truth: for Lestat home wasn’t a place, it was a person.

It made sense actually. A well-grounded person usually had a strong sense of self or belonging, and a clear concept of “home.” Lestat’s home life had been anything but happy, so where would he ever have learned to feel connected? He had never had a place that he could consider safe or comforting. All of his safety and connection had come from his relationships with others, like with Nicolas and later with him. Home wasn’t somewhere Lestat could go to, it was someone.

The terrible reality of it almost made him cry. Lestat had never learned to ground because he’d never had a safe place, and he felt deeply for the wounded child that still lived inside the man. The entire concept of a father beating or sexually assaulting his own son was so alien to him that he could hardly believe it, but he’d seen some of Lestat’s memories and he knew the horrors were real.

Now he understood Lestat’s deep hatred for his father and wished he had understood it two hundred years ago when the old man was still alive. The very fact that Lestat had been able to stomach playing chess with the man boggled his mind, and he had a whole new respect for Lestat because of it. In spite of how much the old man had hurt and defiled his son, Lestat had still cared enough to make the very perilous journey across the ocean to the New World in order to take care of him. It showed a strength of character and commitment to family that no one would ever believe Lestat was capable of feeling.

It was apparent to him that Lestat had hidden depths that only a very select few had ever been allowed to see. The brash, egotistical fiend was only a surface personality, meant to confuse and redirect. Underneath was a sensitive, loving being who would do just about anything for those he treasured. To be one of the scant handful of individuals who were admitted into Lestat’s inner sanctum (notwithstanding the most intimate of sanctums he had just been granted permission to enter) was an honor he was grateful to receive, and he swore that he would always be worthy of Lestat’s favor.

In the midst of his mental wandering, Lestat brought him back to the present with a light squeeze, jolting him out of his thoughts and making him focus on the task at hand. He apologized but Lestat just shook his head and told him he was thinking too much. A tear escaped his eye and Lestat smiled softly as he reached up to wipe it away with his thumb. Then he took him by the forearms and curled himself up so he could lick away the others that followed. Love and comfort flowed between them even in the midst of their passion, and he felt surrounded by it. Lestat’s ardor consumed him and he found himself pushing his lover down into the pillows with the force of his kisses.

When Lestat bit him, all sense vanished and he had no clear memory of what happened next, only that it was powerful and earth shattering. In the aftermath, Lestat curled around him, stroking his chest as his heartbeat slowed to normal, and whispered soft endearments in French and English. He loved to hear that voice, so welcome and comforting. Lestat’s sweet ‘I love you’ was the last thing he heard before he passed out.

He woke in the small hours of morning with Lestat sleeping blissfully by his side. There was a peace and contentment on his lover’s face that touched him to his very soul, and he kissed the smooth brow tenderly. The blue-grey eyes opened slowly and when Lestat saw him he smiled. Reaching out a hand, Lestat took him by the waist and drew him close for a loving kiss. They did not speak of Gabrielle or of who would be coming to visit after night fell on Christmas Day. There was no sense in ruining the rest of their night with unpleasant memories or unnecessary fretting.

They ended up making love again, this time with him as the one claimed, and he had to admit he actually preferred that position. Not that he had minded possessing Lestat, but it required a type of dominance from him that he really wasn’t used to. Besides his softer body responded to sexual pleasure differently than Lestat’s, and he found the sensations he felt were stronger than the ones Lestat had experienced when their positions had been reversed. In fact, he gathered that Lestat had offered himself not for any overwhelming physical pleasure, but for the pleasure of giving Louis everything he could- including his body.

Just before dawn Lestat pulled a long jewelry box wrapped in brightly colored paper from underneath the bed and handed it to him. He opened it to find a simple, but beautiful, silver chain with a very faint pattern etched into the herringbone weave. He gasped when he saw it and lowered his head when Lestat fastened the chain around his neck.

.:Where are the ten ratty sweaters?:. he teased.

.:I’m having them made into a quilt, along with several others I purloined from your wardrobe because they were falling apart. But it’s not ready yet so this will have to do,:. his lover teased back, but he knew Lestat was lying.

.:It’s beautiful,:. he said, touching the cool metal with his fingertips. It was just long enough to lie against his collarbone without dipping too far down.

.:Not as beautiful as you.:.

He smiled and kissed him, smoothing back the blond curls lovingly.

.:I have something for you, of course.:.

Lestat smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. .:Louis, you didn’t have to…:.

.:Yes, I did. It’s Christmas.:.

.:You’ve never gotten me anything before. You always hated celebrating. I only ever bought you presents so I’d have an excuse to bring you new clothes.:.

.:And the truth finally comes out. You only gave me Christmas gifts because you hated my wardrobe,:. he quipped, slipping out of bed so he could retrieve Lestat’s gift from his dresser.

.:I brought you Christmas gifts because your wardrobe was so thin and threadbare that everyone could see your… attributes, and I’m sorry I was jealous and possessive even then,:. Lestat corrected, sticking out his tongue.

He snickered. Lestat was always so playful after sex. Both of them were.

.:Don’t stick your tongue out unless you intend to use it,:. he teased.

.:And my darling shows his kinky side again,:. Lestat replied, rolling his eyes then flashing him a grin. .:And I already have used it several times tonight. Do you need a reminder?:.

He returned to the bed carrying the small box and sat on the mattress. .:Not with dawn being a half hour away. Here, open your present,:. he said, handing Lestat the gift.

.:Not into quickies, my darling?:. Lestat jibed wickedly, earning him a swat.

.:No. Now open. I need to know if I have to take it back.:.

.:I will adore anything you give me because it came from you.:.

He smiled and watched as Lestat untied the ribbon and peeled off the blue paper to reveal the ring in the ring box.

“Oh,” Lestat gasped aloud.

Lestat was not one for jewelry. Neither of them were. The jewelry hog of the coven was undisputedly Armand, who always had on a multitude of garish rings and amulets at any given time. He and Lestat much preferred simple adornments and the ring he had chosen fit that perfectly.

The platinum band was etched with two twining vines and antiqued. Nestled in the vines were two small jewels, one blue diamond and one emerald. The diamond, of course, represented Lestat and the emerald symbolized himself. The ring was a touch effeminate but most definitely meant for a man, and he’d loved it the moment he’d seen the design in the shoppe window. This one was custom-made because he’d had the jeweler add the gemstones but the basic concept remained the same.

The look on Lestat’s face told him that Lestat was just as taken by the ring as he had been, and his hand shook when Lestat extended his left ring finger for him to slip it on.

.:Does this mean we’re married or is this just the engagement?:. his lover asked playfully, flashing the ring.

He chuckled and gave his lover a light push. .:I doubt we’d ever find a priest willing to marry us.:.

Lestat allowed himself to fall back against the bed cushions. .:Who needs one? And if we did, we could just ask Khayman. He was a holy man or something like that back in Egypt, wasn’t he?:.

He slid alongside Lestat and wrapped an arm around him. .:I’d rather just skip to the honeymoon.:.

Lestat grinned. .:A man of my own heart.:. His lover touched his chest. .:But then I know that already because mine is yours.:.

He sunk his hands into Lestat’s curls and drew his head down for a kiss. .:Exactly.:.

.:Mmmm. Merry Christmas, Beautiful One.:.

.:Merry Christmas, Lestat.:.

.:Do you like your present?:.

He fingered the necklace and smiled. .:I love it.:.

.:I’m glad. I love mine too.:.

.:I know.:.

He felt the lethargy seeping into his bones and knew that he needed to retire for the day. Lestat felt it too and was already moving.

.:Come, my darling. It’s time we went upstairs.:.

.:Yes,:. he agreed, slipping on the silk robe that Lestat had given him the month before.

Lestat stayed naked, not caring if he was putting on a display. There was bedding and blankets up in the vault so he had no need for nightclothes. In truth, Lestat preferred being naked with him and he was used to it. He had gotten to the point where he wasn’t so uncomfortable being unclothed in bed, but if given the choice he would put on a pair of pajama bottoms. Unfortunately, Lestat usually didn’t give him the choice. The silk robe, in fact, was something of a concession on Lestat’s part, a tiny nod to his continued modesty.

.:I’ve seen you naked eighty different ways. Why be shy around me now?:. Lestat had argued.

.:I’m not shy around you, but my… attributes, as you call them, are for your eyes only. What if someone sees me through the lace curtains?:.

.:If someone is stupid enough to peep through our windows, I’ll oblige them by making their eyes pop in their sockets.:.

He’d just sighed and dropped the subject, but Lestat had given him the silk robe the very next night.

Up in the attic lair, he arranged the bedding while Lestat secured the door. Then they came together on the pallet, Lestat kissing his shoulder as he deftly slipped the silk robe off and tossed it in the corner. Lestat covered them both with the blankets and drew him close as his limbs grew heavy and his eyes closed.

.:I love you. I’ll see you tonight,:. he said.

.:I love you too, my darling, and we’ll see everyone tonight.:.

.:Dear god, I hope not. If I have to sit in the same room with Maharet, I might just gouge her eyes out.:.

.:I didn’t invite her, but maybe I should have just to see you do that.:.

.:All the same, I’m glad you didn’t,:. he admitted, losing consciousness.

.:Me too. Sleep well, Beautiful One.:.

“Mmmph,” he muttered then fell asleep.

15

Lestat wasn’t quite lying when he’d said that they would see everyone. The only coven members who didn’t grace their doorstep the following night were Maharet, her twin, Mael and Pandora. And of course, Gabrielle who was probably halfway to Ecuador or the Congo already. Even Santino stopped in for a brief visit and he brought Eric with him. Louis was certain there was an interesting story behind that particular pairing but he was too polite to ask. Khayman came with Jesse but they didn’t stay for more than an hour before they were gone again.

It didn’t take him long to realize that their brethren weren’t coming for the nonexistent punch and pie, or even because it was Christmas. They were coming to see Lestat because it was the first time since he’d awakened that he’d issued any type of invitation to visit. Everyone was terribly curious about Lestat’s mental health and he soon figured out that all of the vampires ‘in the know’ so to speak had kept mum on the details of Lestat’s condition and their bond. Not even Khayman seemed to know the particulars, which meant one of two things: either Maharet hadn’t seen fit to tell him anything or he’d forgotten. To be honest, Louis wasn’t sure which was the more likely scenario.

In any case, it appeared that only a select few knew what had really happened to Lestat and he didn’t feel any need to enlighten the uninitiated with the truth. If any of them happened to figure out that he and Lestat could hear each other’s thoughts so be it, but he wasn’t about to divulge any information unprompted.

Over the course of the evening, most of their visitors went on their way leaving only the core of their group; the ones who were closest to them: Marius, David, Armand and Daniel. Armand had brought Benjamin and Sybelle with him, and the two fledglings acted as a distraction for the immortal teen as Daniel acted as a buffer between Armand and Marius.

He wasn’t quite sure, but he thought Benjamin looked a little different. Sybelle was the same, however. Armand had bought her one of the new jackets with keyboards built into the sleeves. Normally only one sleeve was outfitted with the instrument, but Sybelle’s had both sleeves inlaid with keys and she was able to play both simultaneously- a feat that would have been impossible for a mortal. The music was shunted through an earpiece so no one else had to listen to the Appassionata if they didn’t want to. God knew it grew tiresome after one had heard it for the two hundredth time. He didn’t know how Armand could stand it. She spent the majority of the evening sequestered in a corner, playing her sleeves and ignoring everyone.

He spent the night attending Lestat who wasn’t nearly as stable or comfortable as he was pretending to be. In fact, much of Lestat’s bravado stemmed from his constant near panic, and he had to keep his lover grounded at all times. No one outside of those closest to them had any inclination that Lestat wasn’t his normal, bubbly self because he was putting on a damn good show of it, but as soon as the last of the newcomers left, The Brat Prince persona disappeared.

Around midnight he took Lestat into the bedroom for a little private time so Lestat could relax and decompress a bit. When they came out about a half hour later, a hushed conversation on the rear balcony caught their attention and they peered out to find Marius and Armand standing out there alone. He immediately wanted to leave and give the two their privacy but Lestat stopped him.

.:Armand knows we’re here. He wants us to stay close.:.

He frowned, not liking the idea of eavesdropping, even if Armand did know they were there. It seemed untoward and impolite. Lestat just snorted and rolled his eyes at him, but then Lestat never was one for decorum.

“I did it for you,” they heard Marius say.

“I know and that just makes it worse because then I am responsible for what you did to them.”

“You can’t think that way, Armand.”

“I can’t forgive you, Master. I can’t. I wanted to see Sybelle become a woman. I wanted to walk her down the aisle and give her away. I wanted to see Benji grow into a man, send him to school and see him realize his potential. You took all of that away from them, from me,” Armand admitted, his voice heartbroken.

“But now you will have them forever.”

“I didn’t want them forever. I wanted to do something right and good. Now you have doomed Sybelle to an eternity of obsession and Benji to a body that will forever be too small for his mind. Master, did you learn nothing from me or from Lestat’s ill-begotten child?”

They both winced at the mention of Claudia but remained listening.

“They are perfect for you, Armand. They love you completely,” Marius said.

“I loved you completely, Master, but here I am and I am still flawed. I know why you brought me to you when you did. You saved my life. But neither Sybelle nor Benji were in any mortal danger,” Armand countered.

“You needed them.”

“Yes, I did. I don’t deny it. But I left them in your care because I trusted you to keep them safe, and you betrayed me.”

“I did not betray you, Amadeo. I did what I felt I had to do in order to ensure your continued existence in this world.”

Whatever response Armand had to that wasn’t verbal and they strained to hear what would be said next, but were interrupted by Daniel coming down the hall. He had the decency to look guilty for being caught eavesdropping but Lestat met Daniel’s eyes without shame. The young vampire nodded to them and did not look upset that they were there as he passed them and moved to knock on the frame of the open balcony door.

“She’s here,” Daniel said, his voice flat and controlled.

“Thank you, my beloved,” Armand replied and they saw Daniel’s face soften at the endearment. “I will be along shortly.”

Daniel nodded and turned to walk back down the hall. They saw him give them a slight beckon with his hand and took it as a signal to follow.

.:Who is here?:. he asked Lestat. .:I don’t think anyone we invited was unaccounted for.:.

.:Just one,:. Lestat answered lightly.

.:Who?:.

Lestat flashed him a grin. .:Oh come now, Louis. There’s only one person it could be. You’re just being dense.:.

He was about to argue the point when they entered the parlor and all was revealed.

“Oh,” he said aloud and smiled as the healer came towards him.

“Good evening, Louis.”

She was resplendent in one of the most beautiful salmar kameeses he had ever seen. It was a vivid turquoise embroidered with thin threads of silver in swirling patterns along the edge. The accompanying gossamer scarf was the same color but elaborately embroidered with more silver thread. It complemented her skin and hair coloring perfectly and needed no other adornment.

He took her hand and kissed it. “Bonsoir, Madam. You look radiant.”

She smiled, her eyes warm and happy. “Thank you. It was a gift from Armand.”

.:Armand?:. Lestat repeated.

The healer nodded. “Yes. I have been… assisting him in some matters,” she said diplomatically, casting a side-glance to Daniel then to Sybelle who was still sitting in the corner.

“I see,” he answered.

“She’s been able to help us a lot,” Daniel added softly.

“Yes. I am sorry I was not here earlier. I had a previous obligation,” she explained.

“Oh well, that’s fine. It was a zoo here earlier. Bloodsuckers everywhere. You would have been the only warm-blooded creature in the whole building,” Lestat joked out loud.

His lover had been talking on and off the whole night, sometimes using his voice and sometimes letting Louis speak for him. Which method of communication Lestat chose all depended upon his comfort level and right now he was feeling relatively comfortable in the close company.

She laughed. “Then I am glad I was fashionably late.”

“I’m afraid we have no refreshments…” he began, but Lestat cut him off.

“Yes, we ran out of Bloody Marys when Santino killed the last one. Hey, why don’t we send Benji over there out to steal some goodies from the party down the street? I’ve heard he’s a talented little pickpocket,” his lover quipped, a vicious edge to his voice.

“Lestat!” he scolded, but no one else seemed offended.

“Thank you, but there is no need to put yourself out for me. I am fine. I cannot stay long anyway,” the healer informed them.

.:And you never know when you’re suddenly going to be attacked,:. Lestat pointed out mentally, casting a wary and warning glare at Sybelle who was looking their way with a predatory gleam in her eye. .:You have to watch her. She’s been known to kill without ever missing a chord.:.

He looked at the young fledgling as well, a frown on his face. He didn’t like either of Armand’s new charges very much, but he downright didn’t trust Sybelle. Lestat felt the same way, although his lover did very little to hide his contempt. He watched as Lestat and the girl entered a staring contest with each silently challenging the other until Sybelle realized the danger she was in and lowered her eyes.

“Hmmph,” Lestat snorted with a short nod. .:That’s better.:.

.:There’s not much I can do for her, I’m afraid,:. the healer said silently to both of them. .:Believe or not, she’s actually quite sane. I’ve had much more success with the boy, and with Armand and his first child.:.

.:Daniel?:. he asked.

.:Yes. I was able to give them some limited ability to hear each other’s thoughts.:.

.:You bonded them?:.

.:Oh Goddess, no. If ever a pair should not be soul-bonded, it’s those two. I was, however, able to breach the fledgling-maker silence for them. They can now hear each other if they both concentrate. They’re communicating much better now, and Armand doesn’t feel so isolated.:.

.:That is very good to hear,:. he said, genuinely pleased.

.:They really do love each other, but it’s… warped. I’m hoping that the mental communication will help heal that but I’m not sure if it will. Both of them are…:.

.:Unstable?:. Lestat offered.

.:Yes,:. she agreed.

Armand and Marius emerged from the hallway a moment later, and Armand came to stand next to Daniel while Marius joined David who had been maintaining a polite distance. At that point Benjamin jumped up from where he was sitting on the divan and came rushing over to Armand. There was a silent communication between the two and he knew he could listen in if he wanted but chose not to.

.:The boy is bored,:. Lestat said, obviously not opposed to mental eavesdropping. .:He wants to leave.:.

He nodded then shook his head to clear his vision a bit because he couldn’t interpret what he was seeing. He knew that Benjamin had looked different to him, but he hadn’t really been able to discern exactly what was so different about him. Now that the boy was standing next to his guardian, the change was apparent. Benjamin was taller.

.:No,:. Lestat corrected. .:Look again. Yes, he’s taller, but he’s also older.:.

He gasped, eyes opening wide as he realized that Lestat was right. The boy wasn’t just taller, his face was more mature and his body was bulkier. What had once been a child of twelve now looked like a young man of fourteen or fifteen.

“Mon dieu…” he whispered.

“She has been working on him,” Daniel said softly, confirming his suspicions.

He turned his head to stare at the healer. “You? You have done this?”

She nodded. “One of Armand’s biggest grievances was that Benjamin would be trapped in a body too young for his mind. I am trying to rectify that.”

“You can make him grow?” he asked, amazed.

“Yes, but only in very small increments. It is very difficult for me and painful for him. I can only age him a year at a time.”

The very fact that she was capable of doing it all stunned him and he took a step back. He had always been somewhat awestruck by her but now he felt just as much fear.

“What are you?” he breathed.

“Louis,” she said gently. “Nothing I do is beyond the ability of anyone in this room. The difference between you and I is that I know I can do it and you do not. The universe is made of only one kind of energy. To heal the boy, I heal myself. To bond you and Lestat, I merely reminded your souls that you are the same. All of us are one. We are the fingers on a hand, separate but connected to a greater whole. It is as simple as that.”

He shook his head, unable to process any of it.

“What you do is God-like. I am not capable of anything so wondrous.”

Lestat stroked his hair and kissed his temple. .:You are. You can work miracles. Just look at me.:.

.:Oh Lestat…:. he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into the welcome touch. Lestat always knew just what to say.

.:But of course, my darling. I speak for you as much as you speak for me.:.

“That is a lovely ring you’re wearing,” the healer commented, changing the subject.

“Isn’t it?” Lestat replied, flashing the ring and preening happily.

“Wow, I just noticed that,” Daniel blurted. “Very nice. I can guess who gave it to you.”

“My Louis gave it to me,” Lestat answered, preening some more.

“And you wear your troth around your neck,” she added, her eyes falling to the silver chain.

He blushed slightly and touched the necklace. “Yes, Madam. This was my Christmas gift from Lestat.”

.:It’s a lot more than a Christmas present,:. she said astutely.

.:Yes,:. he replied.

“And speaking of presents, I have one for you!” Lestat announced.

“Oh, you didn’t have to. I don’t really even celebrate this holiday…”

“That’s okay! Neither do we!” his lover admitted cheerfully as he almost skipped over to the secretary and opened the lid.

They watched as he pulled out a box wrapped in the same brightly colored paper his necklace had been in.

“I was going to buy you jewelry, but then I remembered that I’ve never seen you wear any. And you certainly have no need for knick-knacks or useless baubles, so I admit that I was at a bit of a loss. Then I found this and I knew it was perfect!” Lestat announced proudly, handing her the gift.

She bowed as she accepted it. “Thank you, Lestat.”

Opening the present, she pulled off the box top and revealed a very simple, but very well-made backpack.

“Oh,” she said, genuinely surprised as she picked the pack up by its strap to get a better look at it.

“I reasoned that you travel a lot so I thought that would do nicely for carrying your things just about anywhere,” Lestat explained, taking the pack and showing her its features. “It has lots of pockets. It’s waterproof. It’s dust proof. It has heavy duty zippers and reinforced seams. The man at the shop said it’s made to balance weight between your shoulders so you won’t hurt your back…”

“Lestat it’s wonderful,” she told him.

His lover smiled and handed the pack back to her with an almost dismissive air. “And it’s simple and completely unadorned. I thought you’d love it.”

“I do. Thank you,” she assured him and gave him a hug.

“You are most welcome, cherie. It was the least I could do.”

She pulled back and looked Lestat in the eye. “I will admit though, that I did bring a gift for you.”

He almost laughed at the little boy light that came into Lestat’s eyes. It was so good to see Lestat so happy and alive.

“You did? Oh you didn’t have to…” his lover argued nonchalantly.

The healer smiled and turned for the stairs. “I’ll be right back.”

.:I hope you forgive me for this, young one,:. she told him mentally, making him a little nervous.

They waited while she left the flat. He cast questioning glances to Lestat and their guests but none of them seemed to have any idea what the healer could be up to. Armand, however, did give him a sardonic smile so he thought maybe the immortal teen might have an inkling or two.

Since patience had never been one of Lestat’s strong points, he wasn’t surprised when his lover got tired of waiting and headed down the stairs after her.

“Should we follow?” he asked the others, raising an eyebrow.

Daniel opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Lestat’s cry of pure joy. The emotions coming across the bond mirrored the sentiment and he hurried to see what could have made Lestat so happy. He burst into the garden to find his lover sprawled on the paving stones, his arms wrapped around a wiggling, madly licking, tail-wagging puppy.

.:A dog. You got him a dog,:. he said, stunned as Lestat rolled on the ground with the pup who seemed just as enamored with his new owner as the owner was with him.

.:Louis! Look at him Louis! He looks just like my Mojo!:. Lestat cried.

He studied the animal and saw that Lestat was telling the truth. The dog did bear a remarkable resemblance to Lestat’s deceased pet, although it was obvious that this dog was considerably younger than Mojo had been when Lestat acquired him. The pup had the same long, glossy brown and black fur, the same long muzzle, and the same immediate love for his vampire owner.

“Oh! Oh cherie! He is perfect! I love him! Wherever did you find him! Oh! And look at his paws! He is going to be huge!” Lestat exclaimed.

The healer chuckled and smiled. Behind her, Armand, Daniel, Benjamin, David and Marius all peered into the garden to watch Lestat play with his new pet.

“His name is Argus and he is a very special dog,” she said.

Lestat grinned. “Argus! Did you hear that? Your name is Argus! What a beautiful dog you are, Argus!”

“Argus,” Marius repeated. “That is Greek. It means…”

“It means guardian,” he finished, casting a curious glance at the healer. She looked back at him with a deliberately blank expression on her face.

“Oh! Oh, cherie! He is wonderful. I cannot believe you did this! Where did you find him? He must be only… what five, six months old?”

“He is just six months and he came from a very special place. The moment I saw him, I knew he was for you.”

Lestat just continued to grin, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. Argus flopped down on his side and placed his head in Lestat’s lap.

.:I hope you are not too angry with me,:. she apologized to him.

.:Angry? Why would I be angry? Look how happy he is. Madam, you have given him something he will adore.:.

.:And you another child to take care of.:.

He sighed. .:True. But I do like dogs and I do… miss Mojo,:. he admitted.

“I think we should take our leave and give the new parents time to bond with their little one,” Marius said.

“I agree,” Armand replied.

“I’ll go get Sybelle,” Daniel offered, going back up into the flat.

“Dybbuk! Can we get a dog?” Benjamin asked.

The look on Armand’s face said everything and he held back a chuckle.

“Now, Benji! A dog is for life, not just for Christmas!” Lestat scolded. “They require lots of care and feeding and attention… Oh, there is so much to do for you before dawn!”

He watched as Lestat played with Argus’s ears. The dog seemed blissfully content to allow it.

“We need to get a bed and food and food bowls and a collar and… Louis! Where is there a pet store? Is there pet store in the Quarter?” Lestat covered the dog’s ears and whispered loudly, “We’ll have to break in, of course, but he doesn’t need to know that.”

The laughter came out of him almost of its own accord and the others laughed with him.

“Of course, Lestat. We wouldn’t want to corrupt him at such a young age,” he agreed, still chuckling.

David clapped a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. “We’ll see you soon. Merry Christmas, Louis.”

“It’s not Christmas anymore. It hasn’t been Christmas for almost two hours,” Lestat pointed out.

“And just think, if we stay up another three hours we can make it to all the early after Christmas sales,” Daniel quipped, leading Sybelle out of the townhouse. “Need to stock up on wrapping paper and greeting cards, you know.”

“Good night,” Armand said, firmly taking Daniel’s arm and guiding him towards the carriage gate with Benjamin and Sybelle in tow.

“I must be heading out as well,” the healer added.

“Yes, you’ve done enough damage for one night,” he mock-complained.

She bowed. “I live to serve.”

Lestat hopped to his feet and grabbed her, spinning her around. .:Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!:.

She laughed and gripped Lestat’s shoulders to steady herself. “You’re welcome.”

Argus barked happily and danced around Lestat’s feet as his lover put the healer down and let her go.

“You take good care of him, now. And he’ll take good care of you,” she said, patting Argus’s head.

“I will, cherie. I promise.”

She lifted up and gave Lestat a kiss on the cheek. “Good night. I’ll see you soon. As always, if you need me…”

“I’ll scream.”

She laughed. “Exactly.”

He came over and bowed. “Bonne nuit, Madam.”

“Good night, Louis,” she replied, giving him a kiss on the cheek too.

Their guests all left through the carriage gate together, saying their good-byes as they passed, and Lestat closed it behind them before dropping to his knees to hug Argus again.

“Oh, he’s such a beautiful dog. Isn’t he a beautiful dog, Louis?”

“Oui, Lestat. He is very beautiful,” he agreed, going towards the old brick kitchen. “We’ll just need to get food for him, I think. I still have Mojo’s things stored here.”

“You kept them?”

He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?” he said, opening the door to the small outbuilding and going in. “Ah, here they are. I have his food bowls, his bed, his collar and his leash.”

“Leash? Louis, you leashed my dog?”

“But of course, Lestat. There are animal control laws these days. Loose dogs are not allowed,” he replied reasonably, bringing out the items including the leash. It was a very nice leash, black with two handles: one close to the collar and the other at the end.

Lestat drew Argus close and looked horrified.

“Lestat?” he asked, concerned.

“You leashed my dog! Louis, how could you!” his lover cried.

Their guests must have heard Lestat’s offended outburst because he could hear them laughing all the way down the street.

16

The truest sign that New Orleans was going to survive, despite the fact that the levees still weren’t adequately repaired, 90% of the Lower Ninth Ward was still a disaster area, and bodies were still being found in the rubble, was the undaunted Carnival spirit that refused to be squelched.

Like clockwork, the Twelfth Night Revelers opened the Mardi Gras season with a masked ball on January 6^th, just as they had done for decades. It marked the official beginning of Carnival that would culminate with two weeks of parades and balls leading up to Fat Tuesday on February 28^th. This year the festivities were much scaled down from previous years, but the events gave the beleaguered residents of New Orleans a much needed reason to put aside the horrors they lived with every day.

He and Lestat followed the schedule with interest, happy that the New Orleaneans were determined to take back their city from Katrina, FEMA and all those who kept saying she was lost and should be abandoned. The famous colors of Carnival flew high and bright in direct defiance of all the doomsdayers, and New Orleans welcomed what tourists who were brave enough to come. And if the many newcomers brought new… flavors for Lestat to sample, then that was just an added bonus.

The first parade followed tradition and began the mayhem with the Krewe du Vieux marching through the French Quarter on the evening of February 11^th. Fortunately, the parade route turned off the Rue Royale before it passed by their flat, but he and Lestat went up the street to see it go by anyway just to show their support. They took Argus and the dog had a wonderful time trying to catch the strings of beads tossed from the floats.

Krewe du Vieux was the only Carnival group allowed to parade through the Quarter, with all the others relegated to Uptown or Metarie. That had been the norm since 1979 when all the major krewes were banned from parading along the narrow streets of the Quarter because of safety issues. Prior to the ban, at least one person would be hurt by a float or an overhead obstruction would cause a problem every year. It was much safer and easier to have them go along St. Charles and up Canal where the streets were wider and there were no iron balconies for floats to run into. Many krewes also marched through Mid-City, but this year that was not allowed because of the damage that area had sustained from the flooding.

The Sunday before Fat Tuesday they caught the Bacchus parade going through Uptown and visited a number of balls going on during that weekend. Then they were able to see part of part of krewes Proteus and Orpheus on Lundi Gras, the Monday before Fat Tuesday, as they paraded along St. Charles. It was a wonderful sight to see all the floats, even if many of them still had the water lines from where they had been submerged or if the subjects poked fun at FEMA or the hurricanes. New Orleans had always displayed a dark humor and this year there was ample subject matter at their disposal.

Fat Tuesday (also known as Mardi Gras Day) had the parades of super-krewes Rex and Zulu during the day, with the festivities culminating in the massive Final Ball Tuesday night where the “Meeting of the Courts” would officially end Mardi Gras when the King and Queen of Carnival met with the King and Queen of the Mistick Krewe of Comus. Because the Municipal Auditorium had been damaged by Katrina, Rex was having their ball at the Sheraton while Comus was having theirs across the street in the Marriott. Rex and his Court were going to have to traverse Canal Street in order to meet with Comus, which would probably prove to be interesting. He and Lestat snuck into both masked balls and had some fun with the elaborately costumed revelers.

Just before midnight, both balls ended with the two Courts meeting and the 2006 Carnival season officially came to an end. A squad of mounted police rode down Bourbon Street at midnight announcing that Mardi Gras was over and Lent had begun. He and Lestat headed out with the majority of the revelers, walking arm in arm down Decatur with Argus bounding happily ahead of them (off leash, of course.)

Argus had been patiently waiting for them behind the Marriot Hotel, hiding in the shadows so as not to be seen, and he came rushing out the moment Lestat set foot on the pavement. How Argus had known that they were exiting the hotel, he did not know, but he was often convinced that the dog could read minds. He’d asked the healer if that was the case but she’d just looked at him with a secretive smile. He’d tried reading the animal’s mind but all he ever got from Argus were images of food. It made sense because the dog did have a bottomless pit for a stomach.

Argus was remarkably intelligent. At eight months old, the pup was almost full-grown and already living up to the healer’s assertion that he was a very special dog. Lestat insisted that he had never owned a dog as quick-witted and inventive as Argus, and whenever he looked into the dog’s soulful brown eyes, he was certain that there was someone looking back. In fact there were times when he was sure that the animal wasn’t a dog at all. He housebroke himself and adamantly refused to be left with a day keeper. They had tried to leave him with the same kindly woman who had kept Mojo, but Argus always escaped her house and made his way back to the Rue Royale garden. He didn’t even mind that his owners slept during the daylight hours, contentedly spending his days snoozing in the garden at either the Rue Royale or the penthouse. Once they were awake for the night, however, he was an integral part of their every move.

Argus would attach himself to Lestat immediately and nary leave his side for anything. The only time he was willing to leave them alone was when they were making love. That wasn’t always the case, but after Lestat’s ardor was cooled by Louis’s reluctance to… cooperate because Argus was in the room, Lestat quickly laid down the law and the dog was evicted from the bedroom for the duration. Even so, as soon as they were finished so-to-speak, Argus would come slinking back in to hop on the bed and lay at their feet.

The dog was quite adept at opening doors. So much so that they had replaced many of the doorknobs with levers that were more easily manipulated by a reaching paw to prevent him from scratching up the wood. Argus could undo the latches by balancing on his hind legs and depressing the handle with his front foot. He could then either push or pull the opened door ajar enough for him to slip through. He had gotten so good at it that he could open a door almost as quickly as one of them could, and he never ceased to amaze visitors with his talent. Lestat was immensely proud of him and had made the joke that theirs would be the only vampire’s house with a dog door.

Argus’s constant, unwavering devotion to Lestat was endearing, but also useful. It wasn’t too long before he had figured out that Argus was acting as a secondary ground for Lestat. The dog had a knack for putting Lestat at ease and redirecting his attention elsewhere when Lestat most needed distracting. The act of training (although he wondered who was actually training who) and working with Argus gave Lestat something outside of himself to focus on, and the results were very promising. Argus was also very intuitive and could sense a mood shift in Lestat almost before he felt it through the bond. Together they worked in concert to keep Lestat grounded and stable, and so far their collaboration had been rather successful.

The night Lestat had come out to greet Daniel with a witty remark taken from a favored television show, he knew that his lover was well on his way to being out of the woods. An animated, enthusiastic, happy Lestat was a welcome sight, and their home was once again filled with Lestat’s laughter. So far, Lestat hadn’t done anything outrageous or dangerous (which was always one of his fears,) and what trouble his lover had gotten into was minor compared to some of the things Lestat had done in the past. The incidents of mischievousness and impish glee were now usually restricted to small practical jokes that Lestat played on the closest coven members.

The latest had been when his lover had sent a professional grade drum set to Armand as a gift for Benjamin. Armand had retaliated by remotely hacking into Lestat’s computer and giving Lestat’s email address to hundreds of spam mailing list companies. The immortal teen had also somehow managed to gain access to Lestat’s cell phone, changed the ring tone to an annoying high-pitched shrill, and then changed the master password so Lestat couldn’t change his ring tone back. Lestat had ended up throwing the phone away and getting a new one. He was certain that his lover was planning his next move in the little feud, but he was wisely staying out of it.

To be honest, he was finding the whole thing very amusing, and it was wonderful to feel Lestat’s childish joy when he pulled another one over on some poor unsuspecting coven member. When he asked Lestat why he did such things, his lover had just shrugged and said he was doing what was expected of him.

.:I’m the Brat Prince,:. Lestat had explained. .:If I’m not bratty enough, they’ll start to worry what I’m up to. If they’re worried what I’m up to, they’ll start snooping around and prying into our business. This way I give them just enough to say ‘Oh, there he goes again’ and then they leave us alone.:.

.:Is that so?:. he’d asked, amused.

.:I’m just doing what’s expected of me.:.

.:So it’s all for show?:.

.:Mostly, but I admit it’s fun.:.

.:Sending David a copy of the Gay Kama Sutra was rather amusing,:. he’d admitted.

.:I especially liked the bit where I included the webcam and told them I’d watch if they wanted me to.:.

He’d chuckled while trying to disapprove. .:That was a little over the top, Lestat.:.

Lestat had just grinned and replied, .:I know. Gay Kama Sutra Book and DVD combo: $45, box of warming gel lubricant: $30, webcam with microphone: $25. Outraged look on Marius’s face and David sputtering until he choked: priceless.:.

.:You’re watching too much television.:.

.:You mean we can’t save a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to Geico?:. Lestat had gasped in mock surprise. “Argus! Do you eat talking lizards?”

The dog had just barked and jumped up to lick Lestat’s face as they both laughed. That night he had learned that mostly harmless practical jokes were actually a great deal of fun. And, unbeknownst to their unsuspecting brethren, half of Lestat’s ideas had come from him as he discovered that he had his own substantial wicked streak that Lestat loved to coax out to play.

Now that Mardi Gras was officially over, they were on the way to Lestat’s penthouse where they had been staying because the Quarter was too loud for their comfort during Carnival (or rather, it was too loud for his comfort and Lestat obliged him by suggesting they stay in the penthouse until things quieted down.). As they passed Café du Monde they stopped to get beignets for Argus who practically swallowed them whole. They were there with the dog so often that they were on a first name basis (under aliases) with a number of the staff, and they rarely had to tell anyone what they wanted to order anymore.

Once Argus had finished his snack, he expected them to turn for the penthouse, but Lestat paused on the street and looked up at the imposing figure of St. Louis Cathedral. He followed Lestat’s line of sight, feeling the quiet melancholy Lestat was experiencing.

.:Lestat?:. he asked, concerned.

One of his greatest fears was still that Lestat would relapse or return to his abusive and reckless ways. Whenever Lestat experienced a “crash” as he called it, he worried that it was the beginning of a downward slide so he tried to head them off before they went out of hand. This didn’t feel like a crash (or if it was, it was just a small one,) but it was still a sudden change in Lestat’s emotions. Argus sensed it too and whined, nudging Lestat’s hand with his nose.

Lestat patted Argus then shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and crossed the street towards Jackson Square. .:Let’s go into the cathedral, Louis.:.

He agreed and followed Lestat to the church where Lestat unlocked a side door and they went in. The church was empty except for them and he joined Lestat in a pew. Argus hopped up next to them and sat, panting, on the wooden seat. Neither of them made any comment on the appropriateness of a dog in a cathedral, and Argus seemed oblivious to any sacrilege he might be committing, so he just mentally shrugged and let it go. They were quiet and he tried to respect the silence between them.

.:Quarter for your thoughts,:. he teased after several minutes of feeling Lestat brood.

.:A quarter? I thought it was a penny.:.

.:Inflation,:. he explained.

.:Ah,:. Lestat said, then mused, .:Do you remember when you joined me in here during the debacle with the Body Thief?:.

.:Yes.:.

.:You told me you loved me right here in this very pew.:.

He looked around and realized that they were sitting in the same pew they had occupied so many years ago.

.:Do you know that was the first time you actually said it? All the other times, I’d just asked you if you loved me and you’d said yes. You’d never actually come out and said it on your own.:.

Trust Lestat to remember something like that. .:No I didn’t realize that.:.

.:You stunned me, you know. For a moment I didn’t know what to do. Then I went off and switched bodies like a stupid idiot. Do you think that’s why he picked me? Because I’d been so stupid with James? Is that why Memnoch chose me?:.

He reached out and took Lestat’s hand. .:I don’t know, Lestat.:.

Lestat nodded absently, taking his free hand and stroking Argus’s head. The dog sighed and rested his chin on Lestat’s thigh.

.:I know the healer said Memnoch was no longer a threat, but I still wish that she could have stayed a little longer.:.

The immortal woman had left New Orleans two days after a devastating landslide had killed a thousand people in the Philippines on February 17^th. She had come to tell them that she was leaving before she flew out to Manila on one of Armand’s jets. They’d both expressed their concerns then, but she had just smiled.

“If you have need of me, I’ll know. We’re part of each other now,” she had said.

“Is this one of those times where you will explain everything by telling me that the universe is made of only one kind of energy?” he’d asked.

She had grinned. “Exactly. Louis, you’re learning.”

He’d shaken his head but she had placed her hand upon his cheek. “You’re going to be alright,” she told him. “Besides, you have Argus to look after you now.”

“I hope that he is with us for as long as Mojo was.”

She’d smiled a secret, knowing smile and shouldered her backpack, the same pack Lestat had given her.

“Oh, I think he’ll be with you for a good long time,” she’d answered slyly, casting a glance Argus’s way. The dog had looked back with an expression he could only describe as smug.

Then she’d kissed them both, patted Argus on the head, and went down the stairs of the Rue Royale flat to the waiting taxi. That had been the last they’d seen of her.

Lestat had been nervous after she’d gone. The healer had always been a kind of safety net for them and not having her nearby made his lover uneasy. Thankfully, Argus, in his typical almost-psychic way, had taken up the habit of distracting Lestat so he didn’t spend too much time brooding. Then Mardi Gras had gone into full swing and Lestat had had many more distractions to take his mind off things. He wondered what would distract Lestat now.

.:It was a good Carnival wasn’t it?:. he commented, trying to get Lestat to talk.

.:Not as much fun as Rio but, yes, it was a good party.:.

He chuckled. .:You and David did have fun in Rio,:. he admitted fondly.

.:And you didn’t?:.

He gave Lestat a look. .:You do remember that you had to practically drag me there.:.

.:David and I did tag-team you, didn’t we,:. his lover answered a little smugly.

.:You most certainly did. I only went along with you because you threatened to lock me in a trunk and ship me to Brazil with the luggage.:.

Lestat chuckled. .:We never would have done that to you, you know. I never would have allowed it.:.

He squeezed Lestat’s hand lightly. .:I know. And truthfully, I went along because I do like to watch you dance.:.

The stroke to his lover’s ego worked and Lestat preened. .:Couldn’t get enough of my gorgeous body even then, hmm?:.

He slapped him on the arm. .:Brat.:.

Lestat grinned and kissed him, stroking his thigh suggestively. .:I wonder what God would think if we did it in a church.:.

He gently but firmly pushed Lestat away. .:I don’t know and we aren’t going to find out because I am not obliging you.:.

Lestat pouted and even Argus whined, but he refused to budge. .:It’s Ash Wednesday, Lestat. The start of Lent. You’re supposed to… abstain.:.

.:Don’t you even think of telling me you’re giving up our intimate relations for Lent.:.

He snickered. .:What would you do if I did?:.

Lestat’s hand reached down to cup him on the derriere and squeezed lightly. .:I have ways of making you change your mind.:.

.:Oh? Been terribly successful with that in the past, haven’t you.:.

.:Not really, but I have inside information now.:.

He laughed out loud and shook his head. .:I do so love you Lestat.:.

Lestat chuckled as they rested their foreheads against each other. .:I love you too, Beautiful One.:.

They pulled apart slightly and leaned back against the wooden pew as they sat side by side with Lestat’s arm draped around his shoulders. He smiled and sighed, just happy to be with his lover and grateful for everything he’d been given.

.:So, why did you want to come in here?:. he asked.

Lestat shrugged and stroked Argus on the head again. .:It’s quiet in here.:.

He nodded, acknowledging that Lestat was feeling introspective. .:Any particular thing you needed quiet for?:.

.:No. I just like to think in churches. I’ve done a lot of thinking in churches. I find the empty silence of them peaceful. I used to come here a lot when we lived in town, just to think and try to figure out how to untangle the mess I’d made.:.

.:Really? I didn’t know that,:. he admitted, genuinely surprised.

.:Back then I thought any concessions on my part would be seen as weakness by you, and I feared what I would tell you if you kept asking me questions. So I’d come here to get away from you before I did something I’d later regret. Didn’t stop me from doing most of the things I did to you, but it did help me sometimes.:.

The thought of Lestat coming into the church (or any church for that matter) in order to contemplate his situation seemed almost too strange to be true, but he knew that Lestat still couldn’t lie to him so he had to accept it. Besides, he could see the memories in Lestat’s mind: a young vampire, confused and tortured by his mistakes, sitting in the cathedral, staring at the image of Christ and wondering how he could possibly make things better (or worse.) Lestat was so… lonely back then.

Dimly he wondered if some of their best nights had come after Lestat had been to the church; the nights when his maker had been gentle and kind, when they had acted out Shakespeare for Claudia or walked arm-in-arm to the taverns where they hunted. Those nights had been rare, but he’d cherished them. The almost blasphemous happiness that the three of them had shared those sixty years seemed so far away now. He was approaching that level of contentment again and it almost frightened him because he knew what it felt like to lose it all.

He raised his eyes to the crucifix and made a silent prayer. As if in answer, Lestat reached over to squeeze his hand and brought it up to kiss the back of his palm.

.:Never again, my darling. This I vow to you. We will have each other like this always.:.

He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and changed the subject. .:I killed a priest in here, you know.:.

.:I know,:. Lestat answered simply, then looked at the restored frescoes above them. .:So much history in this building. And to think the Spanish called it a minor Basilica when it was probably the grandest thing most colonists living here had ever seen.:.

.:I was certainly awed by it. I still am,:. he replied, grateful for the neutral topic.

.:Even after you’d seen Notre Dame?:.

He nodded. .:Yes. Even then. Notre Dame is magnificent, but this cathedral will always hold a special place in my heart.:.

Lestat smiled. .:I know what you mean. So much has changed, but this place remains the same. I’m so glad it wasn’t damaged by the flooding.:.

.:It was built on the highest ground available, just like the Vieux Carre.:.

.:And city planners who have been dead for two hundred years prove themselves smarter than modern ones,:. Lestat quipped.

He chuckled. .:No comment.:.

.:Do you think we’ll be like this cathedral, Louis? Unchanging in the face of time?:. Lestat asked suddenly, the melancholy returning.

.:No. We’ll grow. We’ll adapt.:. He looked at Lestat and brushed a stray golden lock from his lover’s forehead. .:But we will endure.:.

Lestat met his gaze and smiled, his eyes rimmed with tears. .:I love you so much, Beautiful One. I’m so grateful you’re here with me. I never would have made it without you.:.

.:I’m grateful to be here with you too, Lestat. I waited over a decade to have this time with you.:.

Lestat snorted. .:You are a much more patient man than I. I would have dumped me in the river long before now.:.

.:I made a vow to only dump you in a swamp once every millennium, and I’d already used up my one chance,:. he teased playfully.

.:But it’s a new millennium now, Louis,:. Lestat pointed out.

.:So it is,:. he answered, giving his lover an evil smile.

.:Then I’d better give you this now while I still can.:.

He blinked and watched as Lestat fussed with Argus’s collar.

“Argus, if you please…” Lestat said and the dog lifted his head so Lestat could untie a small pouch that had been hidden by the animal’s long ruff.

Lestat opened the pouch and upended it over his palm. A ring fell out and his lover picked it up, presenting it to him. He saw that it was a twin to the one Lestat already wore on his left ring finger.

“Oh,” he gasped, staring at the platinum band. He reached for it but Lestat pulled it back slightly. “Lestat?”

.:Do you?:. Lestat asked expectantly, a twinkle in his eyes.

He smiled and nodded, offering his left hand. .:I do.:.

Lestat gently slipped the ring onto his third finger and pulled him close for a kiss.

.:For better or for worse. For richer or poorer. In sanity and madness…:. Lestat recited.

.:I am yours. I have always been yours.:.

Argus jumped off the pew and hopped up to put his head under theirs, barking once. They pulled away from each other and he saw Lestat quickly wipe away a tear as he turned his attention to the dog.

“And you’ll be our son, right boy?” Lestat said, petting the dog between his ears.

Argus yipped happily.

He laughed and shook his head, even happier than he’d been earlier. He didn’t know if he could get any happier, actually. Argus looked at him and barked once, licking his chin.

“Do you ever get the impression that he’s more than just a dog?” he asked lightly, gently batting the dog away. He really didn’t like to be licked in the face… by a dog.

“Of course he’s more than just a dog, Louis. He’s our dog,” his lover answered aloud, his voice filled with humor.

“That’s not what I meant Lestat. I meant… do you ever think he’s special, like he can read our minds.”

“I don’t know. He always seems to know when I’m hiding a treat from him. Why don’t we ask him? Argus, can you read our minds?”

The dog barked, tail wagging madly.

“Hmmm, I wonder if he can speak too. Argus, can you speak?”

Argus dutifully barked again, his tongue lolling out and his dark eyes laughing.

“Amazing!” Lestat exclaimed.

“Now you’re just patronizing me,” he chided, frowning.

Lestat quieted and gave him a tender smile. .:The healer gave him to us. His name means guardian. It stands to reason that he is special in some way. We may never know how special, but I do know that she felt safe leaving New Orleans because he was here with us. That’s all I need to know because I trust her judgment,:. his lover explained calmly.

.:She did say that he’d be with us for a good long time,:. he commented. .:Maybe he’s an immortal dog.:.

.:If he is, I’d be very happy.:.

.:I guess we’ll find out, won’t we.:.

Lestat nodded and smiled lovingly at Argus, petting him. .:Yes.:.

He reached over and stroked Lestat’s face, cupping his cheek in his palm. .:Let’s go home, Lestat. I want to be warm and comfortable with you.:.

Lestat grinned and took his hand, kissing his palm. .:Of course, my darling.:.

They both stood and made their way to the aisle as Argus trotted towards the door they had come through. He looked at his ring as he walked then gave Lestat a happy smile. .:I still have to properly thank you for this.:.

.:Thank me? I should be thanking you for putting up with me.:.

He slipped his arm around his lover’s and leaned close. .:You’re worth it.:.

Lestat just sighed and sent love and contentment across the bond.

They came to the bank of prayer candles with its little offering box and Lestat paused, watching the flickering flames of the candles that had been lit. Then he saw him reach into his pocket and pull out a $100 bill, slipping it into the narrow slot in the box.

.:Lighting a candle?:. he asked.

.:Of course. It’s my way of contributing to the preservation fund.:.

Lestat moved to pick up a match but he stayed his hand. Lestat looked at him quizzically, but he just shook his head and smiled.

.:Let me try something,:. he explained, still feeling giddy and a little adventurous.

Lestat immediately deferred to him and allowed him to step up to the first row of candles. He chose a candle, pointed at it, and concentrated, willing the wick to heat and ignite. He felt the power pool inside of him then leap outward as the candle flared to life with a loud hiss.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide that he had done it.

.:Louis! You lit the candle!:. Lestat praised, his mindvoice full of pride.

.:So I did,:. he admitted, still a little shocked. He had never attempted to light anything before and he was amazed that it had actually worked on the first try.

.:Who did you light it for?:. Lestat asked curiously.

He smiled. .:For you, of course.:.

Lestat grinned and he jumped a bit when the rest of the unlit candles suddenly burst into little flames, lighting the whole bank.

.:For you?:. he questioned teasingly.

.:No, my darling. For us.:.

.:For us?:. he repeated.

Lestat nodded and kissed him. .:Yes. For us.:.

He moaned softly, letting Lestat taste the inside of his mouth with his tongue, until his lover pulled away.

.:C’mon, Louis. Let’s go home.:.

.:Yes.:.

They headed for the door where Argus was waiting patiently, his tail thumping softly on the floor.

.:I think we still have some of that ice cream he likes so much, don’t we?:. Lestat asked suddenly.

.:I think so.:.

Argus started barking madly, hopping up and down and spinning around with excitement.

.:See? I told you. The dog can read minds!:. he insisted.

Lestat looked at him through the corner of one eye and smiled secretively. .:Or maybe he just has to pee.:.

He humphed but said nothing as Lestat opened the cathedral door and Argus went bounding out with a whine. Lestat exited after him, cautioning the dog not to get too far away and telling him to stay out of the bushes. He paused in the doorway, however, and looked back at the bank of brightly burning candles.

‘For us,’ he mused, raising his eyes to watch the play of light on the ceiling and walls.

Smiling to himself, he closed the door behind him, locked it and looked for Lestat who was now chasing Argus down the Rue St. Anne. He shook his head and sighed, clasping his hands behind his back, and gazed up at the night sky.

‘Yes. For us.’

.:Louis? You coming?:. Lestat asked, his mindvoice a little distant.

‘We’re going to need it.’

.:Always, Lestat. I’m right behind you.:.

His lover sent him a mental kiss and an admonishment to hurry up. He laughed softly and followed.

Epilogue

Lestat here. You didn’t think I was going to let Louis tell the whole tale did you? I might be mad but I’m still an egotistical megalomaniac. Or so Louis tells me and since he cannot lie to me, I have no choice but to believe him.

So… The Vampire Lestat here. Still undead and kicking. Still prowling the night feasting on low-lifes. Still walking among you, watching you, hunting you, loving you.

Oh yes, my darlings, I still love you. I doubt that there will ever be a time when I don’t love you. Your irresistible, pungent scents. Your hot bodies. Your sweet blood…

You can come up to me anytime. I will open my arms. You can point to your throats and say ‘Lestat! Right here!’ and I will smile and lean close. Though I won’t kill you. At least, I’ll try not to. Never say never, I say. I’m famous for breaking my own rules (and everyone else’s) but you already knew that, didn’t you? Nothing new there.

When you see me you’ll think I haven’t changed. You’ll see the same dashingly handsome fiend riding the Devil’s Road right through the heart. I’ll laugh and smile and preen for you, and you won’t have any idea at all that I’m not the same vampire you knew. No idea at all.

But I have changed, my darlings. I’ve changed in ways I haven’t even begun to understand, and I doubt that I will ever fully comprehend everything that has happened to me. It seems my whole life has been a series of catastrophes that have been foisted upon me, starting with my birth. It went from there, I suppose, and hasn’t stopped since. I can’t claim to comprehend why my life has been so tumultuous, I just know it to be true. True understanding has never been one of my strongest attributes. I leave that sort of philosophical crap for my beloved since it suits him so much more than I.

The truth of the matter, my darlings, is that I love you. Truly I do. But I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need your adoration or your attention. I don’t need the battles or the challenges or the elaborate displays. I don’t need to shout to the rooftops that I am here, and I am evil. I don’t need any of that. I don’t even need for you to know that I exist.

For the first time in all my long existence, I have all that I need right beside me… and within me as only my other half can be. Be happy for me, please. For the first time in my life I’m not alone.

I was always alone, you see? I was alone in my desperate need to escape the oppression of my father and brothers. Alone when I went out to hunt the wolves that killed my horse and dogs. Alone when Magnus took me and I thought I would die in that fetid, dank cell. Alone again when my maker threw himself into the fire and left me to deal with my new life on my own. I thought I’d found companions only to be abandoned by them. Alone I traveled to the New World to meet my father and my fate.

I was even alone when I lived with Louis and Claudia; part of the family but not really. I was the one they plotted against; the one they wanted to escape. Had they only known how much I loved them. Louis knows now, of course, but he didn’t know then. I wish he had. So much wasted time could have been avoided. But none of that was his fault. I blame myself… and Marius, although he was not responsible for the mistakes I made. No, that was all me, my darlings, and I bear the weight of it. Sometimes it’s so heavy…

But I digress. I was asking you to be happy for me because I’m not alone anymore. I’m happy after all, deliriously so. Shouldn’t you be happy too? The Vampire Lestat is whole. He didn’t even know that he wasn’t whole, but now that he has his beloved he realizes that he was always missing pieces.

I was.

I don’t have words to describe the joy I feel when his mind touches mine or how I love the slide of his silken flesh against my own. His kisses. His touch. The brush of his hair. The ecstasy of his body writhing beneath mine… or mine writhing beneath his. The taste of his blood on my lips. I could feast upon him all night and never sate my thirst.

He possesses me utterly. I am rendered powerless by the mere glance of his green eyes, the tiniest expression of his will. I love him completely. When we lie together our hearts beat in time to drum out one heartbeat. Our thoughts pass between us as if we are one mind, one soul. And that is what we are. We are one. There are no secrets now.

How can you not be happy for me?

Oh please don’t cry. I’m not leaving you completely. I will still be here, the Brat Prince in red velvet (although Louis prefers me in blue.) I’ll still break the rules and exasperate you, if only because you expect it of me. I’ll still play tricks on my unsuspecting brethren because if I don’t they’ll bother me with their speculations and worry my beloved with their nonsense.

It’s funny that I’m the only vampire who can get into trouble by not doing something outrageous. You’d think they’d be happy because I’m not driving them all mad with my recklessness, but not so. It seems that I’ve been the canker in their eye for so long that they don’t know what to do with themselves now that they don’t have me to worry about. Their lives are a lot more boring without my latest adventure to gossip over, I suppose. Hell, even when I was imprisoned in my own head and immobile on the chapel floor, they still entertained themselves with discussing my predicament. I swear many of my brethren desperately need hobbies.

Can you believe that they actually thought I had done such a thing to myself? That I’d gone out of my body and’gotten lost.’ Preposterous, I know. Absolutely ridiculous that I, the Vampire Lestat, would voluntarily choose to lay motionless on a chapel floor for over a decade. If I had wanted to remove myself from the world I would have gone into the ground where no one could find me and spared my poor Louis ten years of sitting by my side (Not that I don’t find his devotion endearing, but you get the idea.)

I’d gone to ground before. Why they would think I would choose such a means of escape is beyond me. Why they would think I was out of body and unable to get back is even more of a mystery. Not even Akasha was ‘lost’ all those years. Yes, she was out of her body, but she could have returned any time she wished. Nothing was keeping her from being in her own physical form. It boggles the mind to wonder where they got such fantastic and strange ideas. I laugh at them now because if I don’t then I might render them limb from limb for not realizing that something was very, very wrong beforehand.

Bless David for being a true scholar and digging through the Talamasca archives. If he hadn’t gone searching he never would have found the healer and chances are I would still be trapped in my own personal hell. I cannot thank him enough for what he did for me and I cannot thank the healer enough for setting me free. She didn’t have to help me, but she did and at great expense to herself. David told me how hard it was for her to break the spell, how long it took her just to be able to touch me.

I am also eternally grateful for the bond she forged between Louis and me. Our connection is everything I have ever wanted or needed in my life, and there is nothing I could ever give her that would even touch the magnitude of what she has given me. Louis’s love and devotion has healed so many wounds that had festered inside of me. I would never have made it this far without him. He is my reason to continue; my strength and my comfort.

So when you see me on the street, don’t be afraid to come to me. Don’t fear that I will be unhappy to see you or unwilling to lend you my ear. I promise you that I will be overjoyed. But understand that there will be a shadow at my shoulder, a delicate sylph with black hair and green eyes standing just a step behind me. He might not be so happy that I dally with you but he understands.

Really he does.

And he knows that just because I don’t need you anymore, doesn’t mean that I don’t want you. He knows I still love to play the part of Lelio, although I have no more need for Isabella. My Beautiful One has replaced her phantom charms more soundly than anyone ever could, but sometimes it’s nice to put on the airs and trappings again. Besides, a slightly jealous Louis can be… most aggressive in his demands for attention.

I ask you to allow me to be happy. Allow me to take my lover’s hand and know him as only the two of us can know each other. Allow me to walk my beautiful dog with my equally beautiful beloved at my side. Allow me to come home for the first time in my life to a safe place where I am wanted and cherished.

Let me be whole. Let me put my past behind me and banish my nightmares. Let me become everything I am meant to become. Let me be loved as I have always wanted to be loved: completely, madly, for eternity.

Let me have these small things, not because I deserve them or because you pity me for what I have been through. Let me have them because it is the greatest gift I can give my beloved, because he deserves to be happy and loved for eternity. Let me do it for the bravest, strongest vampire I know. Let me do it for Louis because myself is all that I have to offer him but, amazingly, all that he wants.

So if I am quieter and seem more subdued, please do not think that anything is wrong with me. Please know that I am that way because everything is, finally, right.

I am the Vampire Lestat. I’ve been to Hell and back again. I’ve been lost and found. I’ve suffered, repented, and been redeemed. Someday I may tell you all about it, but not today. I am certain there will be a night when both New Orleans and I have risen from our ashes, and we will both be more glorious than we ever were before. Maybe then I will speak of these things.

For now the tale is told and there is no more for me to add. I am content. I am loved. I am home. I go now to have my peace and sleep blissfully in my beloved’s arms.

À bientôt.

Lestat de Lioncourt,

New Orleans February 2006