This assumes that St. Elizabeth’s was never sold and turned into condos. It assumes that none of the VC after M*mn*ch The Drivel and TVA ever happened. Much waff and m/m bonding ensues. Don’t like it, don’t read it. Pairings are Le/Lo.
All standard disclaimers apply. No infringement intended. Characters belong to Mater Gloriosa (you know who she is) No money, no sue. Nuff said.
Parings: Le/Lo
Rating: R or M for Mature
Like all good specs, it has a soundtrack. For insight and inspiration, listen to:
Ever the Same – Rob Thomas
Stay with You – The Goo Goo Dolls
Saving Me – Nickelback
What’s Left of Me – Nick Lachey
The Forbidden Spec
By Terri Botta 2006
*********
1
In the end it was a hurricane that did it.
Lestat had been catatonic in St. Elizabeth’s White Chapel for over a decade. Nothing could move him and few could get near him. The others had long wearied of watching over the once vivacious vampire who had driven them all crazy with his daring and recklessness. It seemed that few had the fortitude to endure the monotony of seeing Lestat lying motionless on the floor night after night after night. Even David, who had once lived in the old orphanage, had moved on to more stimulating pastimes.
Only Louis remained, keeping his silent vigil, moving from “dusty corner to dusty corner” as David had described him. He was the only one who came every night, who watched over Lestat and tried to make sure that nothing could harm him. In the beginning many came to see the spectacle for themselves, but they, too, had long ago lost interest.
Not even Armand, still hurting and wounded from Marius’s betrayal, came to visit anymore. At least the controversial making of Armand’s human pets into vampires had facilitated a reconciliation between the immortal teen and his only fledgling, Daniel.
Louis could not say the same for himself and his maker. It was difficult to have any sort of relationship with someone who did nothing but lay on a hard floor and stare blankly at things only he could see. Still, Louis made the nightly rounds, covered the great stained glass windows in the morning to protect Lestat from the sun and uncovered them in the evening. He was the dutiful child, faithful and diligent, silent in his sorrow. If he did not do these things, then who would? Who would have the patience and commitment to duty? The answer was no one. No one but him.
David accused him of being overly sentimental, of playing the martyr, but then he had always worn suffering so well. Let them think what they will. He stayed because Lestat needed him, and for once the blond rogue was easy to live with. Not that he wouldn’t give anything to see Lestat smile again or to hear him spout another of his wild and insane ideas, but at least there was no fighting or threat of death. Louis had learned years ago at the only ones that Lestat would hurt in his current state were the ones who tried to move or drink from him.
It was odd, though, that even in his catatonia Lestat still allowed his faithful dog, Mojo, to touch him and lick his face. Mojo who had died of old age the previous year. Louis had taken care of his maker’s beloved dog as if he were his own, and mourned the canine’s passing as keenly as he knew Lestat would. He’d brought Mojo with him every night and the dog had kept him company on his lonely vigils. The dog had given him someone to talk to, a perfect companion who always listened and never talked back.
For ten
years, Louis had tended Lestat, most of them in solitude, until the storm of
the century set its sights on
Lestat could not be moved. Even if he would allow it, Louis had no hope of having the strength to lift his maker’s body, and he feared the worst if the levees failed and the city was flooded. If the floodwaters reached the second floor, or the floor beneath them collapsed, Lestat was sure to sink like the marble statue he resembled.
He’d had the forethought to drag David’s old brass trunk to the chapel. The huge chest had once held David’s coffin, and his brother had left in it the flat on the Rue Royale when he moved out. Getting it up the stairs to the room where Lestat was had been a supreme effort, but at least he had something with which to protect Lestat if the windows were blown out. Other than that, he could only pray to a god he wasn’t sure actually existed, that they would make it through in one piece.
It wasn’t
the first major storm to come close to
Already he could hear and feel the coming beast; the wind had been picking up for hours and the rain was already pelting at the windows. He was alone and frightened. He pleaded with Lestat to rise, to flee with him, but nothing reached the silent figure and there was not even a hint that Louis’s pleas were even heard. As daylight approached he became even more desperate for he knew the worst was yet to come, and he did not know what he was going to do. Then, as if by some miracle or answered prayer, Marius appeared in the chapel doorway in the small hours just before dawn, and Louis practically sobbed with relief.
“Marius!” he cried. “Marius, I don’t know what to do!”
The ancient vampire came running to his side, his clothes soaked and his hair windswept.
“Louis, you must flee this place,” Marius warned.
He shook his head. “I can’t leave Lestat. What if the windows smash? What if the levees break?”
“The levees
have already started to break. Even now floodwaters are topping the
“No,” he breathed. “No.”
Marius grabbed him by both arms. “Lestat would never forgive me if anything were to happen to you, Louis.”
“I won’t leave him,” he insisted, digging his nails into Marius’s hard hands.
“Louis,
Lestat will be all right. He cannot drown and we already know that even the sun
over the
Marius picked him up as if he weighed nothing and he fought against the iron hold.
“Unhand me! I am not a child. I will not allow you to treat me in this manner!” he demanded indignantly.
“You are Lestat’s beloved and the beloved of us all. We have let you continue your pointless vigils because we knew it made you happy, but now we cannot allow you to sacrifice yourself for him. Trust me, Louis, Lestat is not the one in danger. You are.”
He knew it was pointless. The ancient vampire had made up his mind and he could either leave under his own volition or be flung across Marius’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. This Marius showed him without words and he blanched.
“Can we at least cover him?” he asked, relenting in the face of one so much stronger than he. “I brought David’s trunk…”
A small, sympathetic smile graced Marius’s lips and he nodded. “If that is what it will take for you to come with me willingly, then by all means, we can attempt to conceal him.”
Marius set him down long enough for them to upend the huge, heavy trunk over Lestat’s body. It was a flimsy attempt at protection, and it would be easily tossed aside if the winds were strong enough, but the simple act made Louis feel better, although it did not keep him from weeping as Marius picked him up and took to the air with him.
“Don’t worry, Louis. We’ll come back just as soon as it is safe,” Marius promised as they headed northeast, out of Katrina’s path.
No matter how much he wanted shut out the horror he was witnessing, he couldn’t turn his head away from the sight of the old orphanage getting smaller and smaller beneath him, and he kept looking in that direction long after St. Elizabeth’s was out of his view.
********
When night fell on the following day, Louis rose as soon as the Death Sleep loosened its hold on him and rushed up the cellar stairs of the empty house where they had taken refuge. Marius was there waiting when he burst out of the stairwell, and he came to an abrupt halt in front of him.
“Marius! What has happened?” he asked.
Marius shook his head sadly. “The levees broke mid-morning. The Lower Ninth Ward is under eight feet of water. So is St. Bernard Parish.”
“What of
“Eighty percent of the city is flooded but I have heard reports that much of the Lower Garden District and the Quarter were spared.”
He had no time to feel relief as he brushed off his clothes and paced. “How long have you been awake? When can we leave to return to St. Elizabeth’s?”
“I have
been up for an hour. We can go as soon as you have fed. But be warned. The city
is in chaos. There is looting and fire. I fear much of
It was
almost too much for him to take, but he went out to find a victim. He didn’t
even know where Marius had brought them and he didn’t care. He just wanted to
get back to Lestat so he wasted no time in choosing and returned to the empty
house within an hour. Marius said nothing as he was taken up again and they
flew back to
Below him
he could see the destruction wrought by the storm, the flooded streets, the desperate people awaiting rescues on their rooftops even
in the darkness of the night, the stench of fire, sewage and death. It broke
his heart to see it, but part of his black soul rejoiced in seeing that the Rue
Royale had been spared the brunt of the storm, as was the penthouse apartment
Lestat kept near the French Market, and finally, St. Elizabeth’s herself,
ragged, and with many of her windows blown out, but dry. The only place of
importance to him that appeared to be flooded was
He was running to the chapel almost as soon as Marius put him down, racing up the stairs to where he prayed he would still find Lestat. The floor of the chapel was covered with shattered glass from four of the stained glass windows that had broken, and the rows of chairs were blown and tossed asunder, but the main sanctuary with the crucifix and blessed virgin were thankfully intact, as was the brass chest still in its place covering Lestat’s body. With a grunt, he heaved the chest away to make sure Lestat was still there and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the blond hair and white skin of his maker.
“Lestat.
I’ve come back, Lestat. The storm is over, but Oh!
Lestat gave no answer but he had expected none. It didn’t matter. All Louis really cared about was that his maker was safe. Now all that was left was to weather the aftermath of the storm and protect Lestat from looters. He turned to Marius and gave him a grateful smile.
“Thank you, Marius.”
The ancient vampire nodded. “We were very worried about you, Louis. We are still worried about you. This incident has only served to prove to us how vulnerable you are, and how much something needs to be done about Lestat. Even Akasha and Enkil allowed me to move them when they were in such a state. Lestat does not permit anyone to handle him at all. Without the ability to take him to safety when danger threatens, he is a great liability.”
Louis frowned and moved closer to Lestat, putting his body between Lestat and Marius. “He is no one’s liability but mine. I have taken up the responsibility of caring for him. I don’t ask for anyone’s help.”
Marius gave him a tolerant look. “I know, young one, and your devotion to Lestat is an example to us all, but you and I both know that something must be done or the next hurricane that threatens might not be so forgiving.”
He bared his teeth at the implied threat. “I won’t let you hurt him.”
“Believe me, Louis, destroying Lestat is the last thing any of us wants to do.”
The words mollified him only a little, and he still watched the ancient vampire with wary eyes.
“David has been raiding the secret libraries of the Talamasca. He says that there is information in the archives that might be of some help to us. He had been lax to do this before, but since it has been over ten years and Lestat has shown no sign of rising on his own, he has been sneaking into the London Motherhouse to do some searching. I haven’t heard from him in several weeks, but the last time we spoke he told me that he was following a possible lead. He did not give me any details because he did not want to say anything prematurely, but hopefully, he has found something that is useful.”
The statement piqued Louis’s interest and he sat up a little straighter. “A spell perhaps? Something that would let someone go in and wake Lestat up?”
“There is no telling if he is even in his body, Louis. Part of Lestat’s condition may be that he has gone forth from this form and has yet to return.”
The thought frightened him, the idea that Lestat might be ‘out there’ floating around with maybe no way to get back to his body.
“You don’t think he’s lost? That maybe he can’t get back to his body if he’s gone out? I know he told me after his ordeal with the Body Thief that vampires could leave their bodies at will. Perhaps something happened after Memnoch that made him leave his body and now he cannot get back.”
Marius shook his head. “I don’t know Louis. I know that when I call for him, he does not answer. He does not answer any of us.”
Louis looked at Lestat, crestfallen, and ventured a tentative brush to his maker’s hair. He heard Marius gasp and looked back.
“Don’t worry. Sometimes he’ll let me touch him. I think he knows it’s me. As long as I don’t jostle him or try to feed from him, he won’t shove me away,” he explained, but even so he withdrew his hand because he did not want to push his luck.
Of course the last person who had actually handled Lestat was Marius’s own child, Armand. Armand had even been able to briefly drink from Lestat before he was cast away, and even then, it hadn’t been Lestat who had shoved him across the chapel, but an invisible force that had thrust him back.
That night had been the last time Lestat had risen from his stupor on the chapel floor. At some point after he had gone out to feed, Lestat had gotten up and shuffled his way to Marius’s home in order to hear Sybelle play the Appassionata on the piano. He had come back to the orphanage to find his maker gone and had nearly panicked. He’d raced to Marius’s home to tell the ancient vampire that Lestat had disappeared only to find Lestat sitting on the floor of Marius’s drawing room. He’d run to Lestat, knelt at his feet and tried to speak to his maker, but Lestat had just stared at him with blank eyes.
For a handful of nights thereafter, Lestat had made his way to the house to hear her play, but he always returned to the chapel before dawn. Louis had made it a habit to go immediately to Marius’s after feeding, then he would follow Lestat back to the chapel. His maker never spoke to him or even acknowledged that he was there, and Lestat’s silence had broken his heart, but he still followed because he needed to know that his maker was alright.
Lestat rose for about a week, then one night he’d suddenly stopped and moved no more. Louis had never understood what had roused Lestat on those few nights, but whatever it was had never been repeated. Since then, however, he’d discovered that a few trusted companions could touch Lestat, even brush the dust from his hair or wipe his face. It brought Louis some small comfort to know that on some level Lestat knew who he was and that he was there.
“I will stay close for a time to help you guard him. No doubt there will be looters who will try to use the cover of night to conceal themselves. As for the days, there is little I can do,” Marius said, nodding.
“I would be grateful for the help, Marius, thank you.”
“I think I will go see how bad the damage is for myself.”
“If you would check on our flat on the Rue Royale and Lestat’s penthouse near the French Market, that would be most helpful. I’d like to have an idea as to how much damage has been done. We have insurance, of course, but…” he suggested.
“Something tells me that was your idea. It seems an altogether un-Lestat-like thing for him to do,” Marius teased lightly.
“Well, yes, I was the one who oversaw the purchase of the policies. It was the practical thing to do.”
He heard Marius chuckle. “And we all know that Lestat is anything but practical.”
He smiled sadly. “Yes. We do.”
Marius gave him an apologetic look then took a step back. “I’ll be back before morning.”
He reached out a hand to brush Lestat’s hair again. “We’ll be here.”
2
The nights
that followed were a study in horror for Louis. His beloved
Some of the poorest neighborhoods were hit the hardest, and the people there were left with almost nothing. The poor areas had always been his favored hunting grounds, but now he found his victims huddled in the makeshift camps and debris-littered streets. So many poor souls, devoid of hope and the will to live, made their way into his embrace and he freed them from their misery. They would have lined up for his kiss, and he could have glutted himself on their blood all night, if they had known what he was.
But that was a much more Lestat-like thing to do. For him feeding was simple and quick: he fed on the ones who crossed his path when he was hungry. If now his victims tended to be more on the lost and hopeless side of things, it was only because there were so many mortals who had been devastated by the storm.
His post-hurricane routine was uncomplicated. He woke. He fed. He guarded Lestat. In reality it was the same routine he had kept before Katrina, only now there were looters and other criminals to contend with, and the condition of his victims had changed. There was no electricity, but he didn’t need it, and what use did he have for clean drinking water or heat or food? As long as Lestat was safe and there were mortals to choose from, he had all he needed.
On the sixth night after the hurricane, he returned from feeding to find Marius waiting for him in the grand foyer. The ancient vampire had kept his word to help him guard Lestat as long as there were looters but tonight he seemed anxious and excited.
“Marius, what is it?” he asked.
“David left
me a message last night. He’s been in
“
“The tsunami.”
He shook his head, not understanding. “The tsunami? I don’t follow.”
Marius smiled. “He found a reference to someone who might be of help to us in the Talamasca’s archives. An immortal who has a talent for healing. Talamasca records have tracked her for centuries. She gravitates to disaster areas and there was a report of her being sighted where the tsunami damage was worst. David went there to look for her and he found her about two weeks ago. He’s been trying to get her to come to New Orleans. His message said he had finally managed to convince her, not only to help us but also to help the people suffering from the hurricane.”
Louis was shocked and it took him a moment to process what he had just been told.
“An immortal? Like us?”
Marius shook his head. “Not a vampire, no, but we have long known that the Talamasca documents the existence of immortal beings other than our kind. The Taltos, of course, being one of them.”
“Is this being a Taltos then?”
“No. I don’t think so. If she is, David did not say. He merely said that she went by the name of Healer and that was all he could tell me.”
The news was sinking in and small flame of hope lit in his soul. “And he is bringing her here? To help Lestat?”
“Yes. She has agreed to look at him and see if there is anything she can do. They’ll be here within the next two or three days. They need to get out of Indonesia. David has contacted Armand for the use of his planes. He said that arrangements were being made.”
Louis nodded, his mind already taking in the possibilities. “Yes, he does have that small fleet. I think he has a jet capable of going that far.”
“Two at least, that I know of,” Marius commented off-handedly.
“Is there anything we need to do to prepare for her arrival? Does she need a place to stay?”
“David is taking care of all the details. He sounded quite excited in his message. He will try to call me on my cell phone sometime tonight if he can.”
Louis smiled and made for the stairs. “This is wonderful news, Marius. Wonderful news.”
Marius joined him as he went up to the second floor. “I would offer a word of caution, however. Just because she has agreed to look at Lestat does not mean that there will be anything she can do for him.”
He sighed and nodded. “I know, but at least there is some hope, no?”
“Yes, there is some hope.”
They entered the chapel where Lestat lay and Louis took his usual place next to the sanctuary. The broken glass had been cleaned up and the chairs set to rights. What couldn’t be salvaged had been destroyed and tossed out. The orphanage had sustained some damage to the roof but the area over the chapel was fine. Neither Louis nor Marius cared for the rest of the building or for what was left of Roger’s collections so they left it all be. Lestat and the chapel were their only concerns for now.
“Lestat,” Louis whispered, leaning close to his maker’s ear but not touching it. “Lestat, Marius has brought news. David is coming and he is bringing someone with him who may be able to help you. They will be here in a few days.”
There was no answer but he expected none, and he ventured a tentative brush to Lestat’s hair before sitting back. Marius left him a few minutes later, explaining that he had some preparations to make, and he was once again alone with Lestat in the chapel. The night wore on in silence the same as any other night, but for the first time in a very long time, Louis felt the welcome weight of hope in his heart.
*******
Two nights later, he came up the stairs to find David, Marius and their mysterious guest already in the chapel. He’d known that someone was there, because he could hear the heartbeats and sense others of his own kind nearby, and he could also see the flickering light of the candles that had been lit because there was still no electricity. He entered the chapel eagerly and was surprised when David met him at the door with a finger pressed to his lips cautioning for silence.
Confused, he cast a glance behind his brother in blood to see a very diminutive woman sitting in one of the chairs five rows from the sanctuary where Lestat lay. He couldn’t get a good look at her because her back was to him, but he could see that she was dressed in draped cloth like a sari or kameese. He looked askance at David who took his arm and leaned close to whisper.
“She’s been here since I brought her at sundown. She’s been steadily getting closer and closer to him, but she’s been going slowly. Apparently she senses some form of magic around him. She said she felt it immediately,” David told him softly.
“Magic?” he murmured.
David nodded. “It seems that Lestat is under some sort of spell, although why I didn’t sense it, I don’t know…”
.:It is old magic. Much older than you, young one. Do not blame yourself for not recognizing it,:. came a quiet mindvoice.
The voice in his head startled Louis and he shivered because he wasn’t used to being able to hear anyone’s thoughts.
“I… I am sorry. We didn’t mean to interrupt…” he stammered.
.:You didn’t. I am merely waiting for the shielding spell to acclimate to me and allow me closer.:.
“Shielding spell, madam?”
.:Yes. This whole room is full of wards and set spells. I’ve broken most of them already, but I won’t be able to break this one until I can touch him.:.
“Is there anything we can do to help?” Louis asked.
.:No.:.
David gave him a sheepish smile. “We’ve just been staying quiet and keeping out of the way.”
For a moment he was profoundly disappointed because he had so many questions and he could only hope that there would be time for answers later. For now he nodded that he understood and moved to join David and Marius in their silent vigil as he took a seat in the back row.
He’d actually dressed for the occasion, knowing that David would be arriving any day. It had rained last night, so he had used the water to wash the dust and grime from his hair and face because neither the flat on the Rue Royale nor Lestat’s penthouse had running water yet. Then he had selected a set of clean, dark clothes that Lestat himself had purchased for him some years ago. Once he had shaken the dust off of them and let them air out over the day, they looked practically new for all the few times he had worn them. Tonight when he woke, he combed his hair and donned the freshened garments before going out to feed.
His preparations did not go unnoticed. David gave him an amused and knowing look, but he just flushed modestly and averted his eyes. He hadn’t dressed for David. They all knew that. He’d dressed for Lestat. The last thing he wanted was for Lestat to see him and tell him he looked like a beggar.
‘She’s almost there,’ he thought to himself, watching curiously as the woman stood and moved forward to the third row of chairs.
Watching her move, he got a closer look at her. She was small, no more than five feet tall, and her skin was a deep olive color, like someone from Northern Africa or Arabia. Her long hair was very dark brown and she held it back with a simple clip. She was dressed in a type of sari made of cream colored cloth with a narrow blue trim, and the garment struck him as eerily similar to the clothing Mother Teresa was always seen wearing.
Mental laughter answered him and the mindvoice, full of humor, spoke gently, .:This cotton sari has been the habit of poor Indian women for centuries. Your mortal saint merely donned the clothing of the people she ministered to.:.
Chagrined, he lowered his head and tried to rein in his thoughts, not wanting to do anything that might interfere with what she was doing. All was silent as they waited, practically not breathing, for her to inch her way to Lestat’s side. Some hour later, she moved to the first row of chairs, then to the edge of the sanctuary another thirty minutes after that. It took her an additional hour to move close enough to sit at Lestat’s head and Louis could see the signs of strain on her face. Whatever she was doing, it wasn’t easy and it was taxing her strength.
Finally, nearly three hours after he had entered the chapel to find her there with David and Marius, he saw her place her hands carefully on Lestat’s head. He watched her close her eyes and her face grow serious and somber. There was a moment when she shuddered violently but otherwise she did not move. Louis was certain that he felt a great surge of energy then but Lestat remained motionless and the healer was not cast away.
He waited, holding his breath, and inched his way up to the sanctuary. David and Marius joined him in sitting in the front row just beyond the communion rail. None of them spoke, as if they were afraid that voices would break the spell and interrupt whatever was being done. Louis had such lofty hopes of Lestat blinking his eyes and smiling at them, but he was afraid to give them voice.
The night crawled on. Somewhere a church bell chimed four times. Shortly thereafter, he heard the woman sigh and he leaned close to see if she was going to open her eyes. She did and he was immediately drawn into their dark depths. He stared, unblinking, as she gently pulled away from his maker and moved to sit on the lip of the sanctuary. The three of them huddled close as her shoulders slumped and she looked utterly exhausted.
“It is as I feared,” she finally said, her voice soft and tired. She looked at David, her eyes sad. “When you first came to me and described the situation, I had my ideas. Now all my suspicions have been confirmed.”
She drew a deep breath then continued, “Your friend and maker does not move because he cannot. He is trapped within his own mind by a powerful spell. It is a twisted, insidious web that even he does not fully realize he is snared in. Inside he is forced to witness unspeakable horrors concocted by his own imagination and fed by suggestions set by the geas. Part of him does suspect that he is a prisoner and he occasionally rails against his bonds, but the spell is too strong and too well set for him to break.”
“But that is impossible,” David argued. “We have seen Lestat move. He rose a few nights to hear Sybelle play her piano, and he has struck down all those who would try to move or feed from him.”
The healer shook her head. “Under this geas, independent movement is not possible for him. The blows you witnessed were the repulsing spells set to make sure no one could interfere. If any one of you had managed to actually feed from him for any length of time, you would have discovered the truth. As for the nights he rose, when did this happen? Was it shortly after this affliction struck him?”
Louis nodded. “A few months. He rose for a set of nights and walked to Marius’s house to hear Sybelle play. But then he stopped just as suddenly as he had begun.”
“And did he move again after that?” she asked.
“No.”
She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again and Louis thought she looked so weary.
“Yes. I am, but that is not your doing. This spell is a web of traps and tricks. It taxes me greatly to deal with it. As for why your friend was able to rise for a handful of nights and appear to interact with the world around him, I can only surmise that the one who cast this spell was pulling the strings. It would be just like him to do something like that in order to mislead you,” she said.
“So you have had dealings with this… Memnoch before?” Marius questioned.
“Memnoch? Is that the name he is going by these days? I’m not familiar with it but I am familiar with this being’s energy and this place reeks of it,” she replied.
“He said he was the Devil,” David added.
The healer gave a small, humorless smile. “Well, yes, he would, wouldn’t he. He likens himself to be like Loki of the Norse. He takes great pleasure in it. To bring down one such as this vampire, one so vibrant and inherently bright, would be quite an achievement. Yes, I have no doubt that he is behind this.”
“What do we do?” he asked anxiously. So what if Memnoch was responsible? What was important now was how did they break this spell?
The healer looked at him and he once again was drawn into her eyes. She had such a kind, youthful face, but those eyes were ancient.
“I can break this spell and allow this one to awaken and regain his body, but there will be repercussions and he will be very vulnerable to another attack. As it is, he has spent a decade trapped within his mind, at the mercy of the visions he has seen. He is heart wounded and traumatized, although how badly I cannot tell until I go fully into the geas. If I were to wake him now, there would be no telling what he would do. He could be crazed, unstable. He might not even know what he is doing; he would be insane with anguish and pain. He could destroy everything in his path with his madness…”
“If he goes on a rampage, Maharet has already vowed to destroy him,” Marius said grimly.
He shook his head. “No. I won’t let anyone hurt him.”
“What do you intend to do to stop her, Louis?” Marius asked. “The only thing that you will accomplish would be to sacrifice yourself.”
While he knew Marius’s words were true, he still could not yield. If he died protecting Lestat, then so be it.
“You give us a devil’s choice. Leave him and he stays trapped. Free him and Marharet kills him,” he snapped angrily.
“Is there no hope then? Is there not a way to contain him until he is himself again so he will not be a danger?” David questioned, a note of desperation in his voice.
The healer gave David a tolerant look then returned her gaze to him, speaking as if she were speaking directly and only to him. It made him shiver inside.
“Yes. There is something that can be done. I can bind him to another, someone who will become his ground. This person would be bound to him and be his anchor to this reality,” she answered.
“Bound?” he asked.
She nodded.
“What do you mean?” David questioned.
The healer looked at the two of them and Louis got the impression that she was weighing her next words very carefully.
“I can connect this one to another, someone who will act as his primary ground. This individual would be able to dampen the other’s powers and calm him should he begin to lose control. In that way, your friend would be contained without being subdued, and protected from another attack.”
David gasped. “You’re speaking of a soul-binding.”
“If that is what you call it.”
Louis looked at David, confused. “David… what is she talking about?”
“She’s talking about connecting someone to Lestat, someone who would act as a filter for all of Lestat’s emotions. This person would be psychically connected to Lestat, be able to hear his thoughts and sense his emotions…”
Now it was his turn to gasp. “Is such a thing possible?” He looked to Marius for confirmation and the ancient vampire nodded gravely.
“I have heard rumors of such a thing but I’ve never seen it done,” Marius told him.
“It is not done often because the binding is a terrible responsibility. The ground can easily be caught up in the other’s pain and they can feed off each other to their own destruction. It is not something into which someone should enter lightly,” the healer cautioned.
Louis was still processing what he was being told. Someone had to be bound to Lestat and that someone would be able to keep Lestat from going insane…
“I’ll do it,” he heard David say, and for a moment he was completely shocked. But then anger took hold and fierce determination seized him.
“No,” he stated emphatically.
David looked at him, surprised. “Louis?”
He couldn’t explain it. He just knew that he had to be the one. It was why the healer had looked directly at him when she said it. He knew David was the stronger of the two of them. He knew David had knowledge of the arcane from his mortal life. He knew David did not have the destructive history of two hundred years of love and hate between himself and his maker. He knew all of this, but it didn’t matter. Lestat was his. For over ten years he had guarded and tended and worried and feared for Lestat. And now, in the eleventh hour, David wanted to take his place? David wanted to be the one to lead Lestat out of darkness? No! He wouldn’t have it.
“I’ll do it. It should be me,” he said firmly, hardening his mouth into a thin line. He might be the weakest. He might be the most passive of vampires but when he set his jaw, his will was iron and no one dared to go against him.
“Louis… you cannot be serious,” David argued. “Of the two of us, I am the stronger. Who better to carry Lestat than I?”
“You are a fledgling barely twenty years old. You have no idea what it is like to carry Lestat,” he replied icily.
His claws were coming out now, his hackles up and his shoulders taut. Even Marius was noticing, his pale blue eyes wide with surprise and a little awe. David, never having seen this side of his brother, was flabbergasted.
“But Louis…”
“It should be me,” he insisted, then explained. “I’ve tended to Lestat these last ten years while everyone else went on to more exciting, important things. I’ve been the one to stay here with him. Who else would do it? Marius has only just begun to seriously live his own life after having kept Akasha and Enkil for over a thousand years. You are still in the midst of living the life you sacrificed when you joined the Talamasca. I, on the other hand, have no aspirations, no lofty goals or unfulfilled dreams. I am the most human of all of us, and that means I am the one most firmly rooted in this world. If Lestat needs someone to tie him to reality, then there is no one more suited for the task than me.”
It seemed that David would protest but the healer raised a tired hand and he grew quiet.
“The decision does not have to be made now. I cannot do this thing tonight. I am drained and there is little time before dawn. I will rest, recover my energy, and pick up this task when I am at full power. In the interim, you may think on who will be the ground. But be warned. Do not enter this bonding with closed eyes. It is a heavy burden. In the beginning the ground may be all that stands between Lestat and utter madness. Do not cloud your reason with dreams of shared thoughts and intimacies lost. To do this is to bear the weight of all of his pain and anguish. The one who is not chosen should not envy the one who is,” she warned.
They were silent, chagrined at her slight rebuke, but Louis still railed inside. ‘It must be me. It must be me.’ How he knew this, he didn’t know, but he was certain of it.
.:Because you know in your heart of hearts that Lestat would want it to be you,:. the healer’s mindvoice whispered softly.
Yes. That was it exactly. If Lestat would want to be bound to anyone, he knew Lestat would choose him if he had a choice. Of all the vampires Lestat loudly proclaimed to love, he was the only one Lestat routinely returned to, the one who Lestat actually listened to on rare (very rare) occasions. He was the only one who Lestat allowed to see vulnerable, when the great bravado cracked and splintered to reveal the wounded soul within…
The healer’s spoken voice broke him out of his thoughts as she stood. “But for now there is a more pressing matter. I have broken the repulsing spells that forced anyone who touched Lestat away. He is now helpless to defend himself if someone should attack him. Until he is free of his mind, he will need to be guarded all the more carefully.”
“Why don’t we simply take him to a safer location?” David suggested.
She shook her head. “That would be unwise. There are still wards on this chapel, ones I have not yet broken, and I’ve not the strength to do it tonight. To remove him from this place might be disastrous.”
“I’ll stay here with him then,” David offered. “I rise as early as any of the ancients.”
“And I,” Marius added. “Between the two of us, we should be able to deal with any threats that may arise.”
“Three,” he announced. “I, too, am staying.”
Both Marius and David looked at him, and he didn’t need to read thoughts to know that they weren’t quite sure what to do with him. An aggressive Louis was simply not someone they had ever dealt with, and he had them both in a state of amused confusion. It was Marius who finally smiled, averting his gaze from Louis’s hard, challenging stare.
“But of course, Louis. We should not have automatically assumed that you would not be staying. Lestat has been your charge for a decade. We should have looked to you for guidance.”
Marius was patronizing him and he knew it, but he really didn’t care. He wasn’t going to leave Lestat, and he certainly wasn’t going to allow either of them to do anything to Lestat without his knowledge.
“I need to find a place of rest,” the healer said, interrupting their silent stalemate.
“My house has been made ready for you,” Marius replied. “It was only minorly damaged by the storm. There is running water and electricity. I prepared a room when David told me that he would be bringing you here.”
“I am most grateful. Where is this house?” she asked.
They looked at each other and Louis smiled to himself. He knew that they wanted him to take the healer to Marius’s house but he couldn’t. He couldn’t fly and no cars were allowed on the streets of New Orleans after curfew. He saw David and Marius exchange glances and he suspected that they were having a silent conversation. Finally, a decision seemed to have been reached and Marius turned his attention to their guest.
Marius smiled graciously and bowed, “I will take you. There is still plenty of time for me to bring you to my home and return here before sunrise.”
It also meant that David wanted to be alone with him to try to talk him out of being bonded to Lestat, no doubt. He watched as Marius escorted the healer from the chapel before turning his eyes to his brother.
“Louis…”
“Don’t try to change my mind, David. I’ve decided,” he stated flatly.
“But surely you must see that I am the more obvious choice…”
“No, you don’t see that I am. I know what the healer meant by warning us not to lose our reason to dreams of sharing Lestat’s thoughts. She was speaking to you. I have never heard Lestat’s thoughts nor have I ever desired to hear them.”
“All the more reason for it to be me. I’ve been inside Lestat’s mind…”
He cut him off. “And been consumed by him. No, David. I understand your reasoning but no. You and Lestat are too much alike. He would overpower you and drag you with him into his madness.”
“I have resisted him before,” David pointed out.
“It is not a matter of being able to resist him, David. For you, Lestat is still an all encompassing being. He is your devil and your god. You may say that you have shaken off his glamours, but you are still held in thrall by him. Lestat has no such hold over me. For me…” He looked at the motionless figure of his maker on the chapel floor and felt an emotion he simply could not name, except that it was old and deep and an inseparable part of him. “For me… Lestat is just Lestat.”
“Louis… we both know what Lestat is like to live with. Neither of us could stay with him for long. We barely made it two years the last time before we all separated again. How can you hope to manage him if you go through with this?” David asked, his voice slightly pleading.
“I lived in peace with Lestat for seventy years, David, or have you forgotten?”
“Only because your love for Claudia bound you to each other.”
“Then perhaps Claudia was our… ground as the healer calls it. God knows once she was gone, I didn’t feel connected to anything for decades,” he said with a soft, sad sigh.
Being reminded of Claudia only served to make him more melancholy than he already was and he did not wish to wallow in the grief of the past. Quietly, he moved to gather the heavy draperies that covered the chapel windows, the ones that were not boarded up with plywood.
“Dawn is coming. We need to secure this room against the sun,” he said, turning his back to David and thus ending the conversation.
David wasn’t pleased, he knew, nor was his brother finished pleading his case. But it wouldn’t make a difference. In the end, he knew which of the two of them would take up the burden of Lestat, and it would not be David.
Marius returned shortly before Louis had to succumb to the stupor of the Death Sleep. Since they were all staying in the chapel with Lestat, he chose a place at the rear of the sanctuary, most shrouded in shadows, and settled against the wall. He saw Marius and David sitting close to Lestat and he wanted to admonish them for their obvious plotting, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. David looked back at him, an odd expression on his face, and for a moment he feared that Marius was planning to take Lestat away, but then David frowned and shook his head. He had a few brief moments of relief before the Death Sleep took him and he lost consciousness.
3
Both Marius and David rose before him so he was the last to awaken after the sun went down. He came awake just in time to see the healer engaged in an animated conversation with David.
“No, this I will not do…” he heard her say.
“But surely you must see that…”
“What is going on?” he asked.
David gave him a worried look and stopped mid-sentence, snapping his mouth shut with a loud click. Suspecting that something had been afoot prior to his waking, he rose unsteadily to his feet and made his way over to them. David looked guilty so he turned his green eyes on his brother.
“Is there something I should know about, David?”
David lowered his eyes and shook his head. “No, Louis.”
He raised an eyebrow then looked at the healer. “You look as if you have rested, Madam.”
She nodded. “Yes. I slept well. I have been here since late afternoon. I’ve broken the wards on the chapel. Now all that is left is for me to bond the ground and break the last bindings that keep Lestat trapped inside his mind.”
He gave a little helpless shrug of his shoulders. “I am ready whenever you are, Madam.”
David snorted and shook his head. “Louis, again I must protest…”
“I have made the decision, David.”
“You have no concept of what you are doing here. Do you even know how to ground?”
The healer looked at him questioningly and he flushed. “You can show me how to do this thing, yes?” he asked her respectfully.
She smiled but David was not amused. “Please Louis. This is madness. You don’t know how to ground. You have no experience with the arcane or with hearing Lestat’s thoughts. You warned me that Lestat would consume me, but I give you the same warning.”
“I am much stronger than you think, David,” he replied angrily.
“If I did not understand so well, I would do it, but I know what this bonding will entail and I grieve for both of you,” Marius said seriously.
“Louis…” David pleaded.
Anger welled within him, a nameless rage that snaked into his gut, and the same indignant ire that had taken him last night came back, the offense he took at having David try to take what was rightfully his away from him. He gritted his teeth and dug in his heels.
“No. If you want to be the one, you will have to fight me for I will not yield this to you. If that happens, you know as well as I that if Lestat finds out that you hurt me, he will kill you. It won’t matter how bonded you are. You know he will not allow any harm to come to me,” he stated, his fists clenched.
The words were true and he knew David knew it. No one harmed him. He was Lestat’s and Lestat’s alone. While Lestat might hurt him on occasion, and threaten him and burn his things, his maker would not tolerate anyone else harming a single hair on his head. To hurt him was to bring down the wrath of one of the most powerful vampires to ever live, and very, very few had the strength to withstand him. David blanched as he threw down his gauntlet and Marius looked at him with wide eyes.
“Louis…” the ancient vampire breathed.
“So you will take on this task, knowing that you aren’t prepared or strong enough to do it. Why? To spite me? To play the martyr?” David hissed angrily.
“No,” he replied.
“Louis, while I agree with Lestat that you wear suffering very well, this is no simple matter…” David tried again.
“I know that,” he snapped. “You think I’m doing this because I want to suffer? Do you think I am doing it because I want to spite you? David, you understand nothing, least of all Lestat! I’m choosing to do this because I am the only one who possibly can.”
“What do you mean?” his brother demanded.
He was about to reply when the healer stepped between them.
“Peace. This is getting us nowhere. Both of you love Lestat equally, and both of you raise compelling arguments, however, you must take Lestat’s wishes into consideration. If he had to choose between the two of you, who would he want?” she offered.
He and David looked at each other, neither wanting to give voice to what they both already knew. While David and Lestat were two sides of the same coin, Louis was Lestat’s foil. He was Lestat’s Omega. His polar opposite in many ways, but he was also Lestat’s rock.
Had David been a mortal man still, that might not be so, but since Lestat had raped David into vampirism, the dynamic between them had changed. They were brothers in blood, equals, both vying for supremacy over the other. It was Louis who remained steadfast in his place, and Louis who Lestat thought of foremost in his mind.
“He would choose Louis,” Marius stated definitively.
Louis saw David flash Marius a wounded glance but the ancient vampire did not take back his words.
“You know it is true, young one. Lestat may love you dearly, but it is to Louis that he always returns. None of us have ever kept Lestat’s heart the way Louis has, save for one other and she is long dead. And Louis is right, David, Lestat would consume you, or worse, you would try to control him and he would come to resent and hate you for it,” Marius explained gently.
“And here I must add my own thoughts,” the healer said softly. “When I glimpsed into Lestat’s mind, it was Louis who was featured most prominently. It is Louis with whom he is tormented by visions of torture and death. You have no idea how much he fears for you, Louis. He worries about you constantly, and your weakness is a source of great concern to him. This Memnoch was shrewd in torturing Lestat with visions of you suffering or in pain. When he screams, he screams for you.”
He shivered, averting his eyes at the wave of guilt and worry that took him. He knew Lestat wanted him to be stronger, but he had always refused Lestat’s blood.
“If you were the one who was bound to him, Louis, I think he would be comforted,” she finished.
There was a moment of silence, then David sighed. “Very well, I concede, but I do so under duress.”
“Thank you, David. I did not want to be at odds with you,” he admitted.
David gave him a look that was half glare, half submission and turned his head away.
“You should at least learn how to ground before you commit yourself to this madness,” his brother muttered sullenly.
He turned to the healer and opened his palms. “Madam… I am your student. Will you please show me how to do this thing?”
She gave him a tender smile and took his hand. “I think you probably already know how, you just didn’t know what you were doing. To ground is to touch the earth with your soul. I am sure that you are familiar with the feeling. From what I can tell, you are already very well grounded.”
Giving a nod to David and Marius, she led him away from them and towards the front of the chapel, near the communion rail.
“To do this consciously, you must reach into yourself and imagine that you are touching the earth beneath you. Feel the floor under your feet. Envision that you are rooted to it. You will feel the difference immediately. Do this now.”
He nodded and closed his eyes, focusing on the weight of his feet on the wood floor.
“Good,” he heard the healer say. “Now imagine that your feet are anchored to the earth beneath this building.”
This he did, bringing up an image of the earth and his bare toes sinking into the grass. He immediately felt a heaviness in his pelvis, as if he were connected to the ground by an invisible tether.
“That’s it exactly. Excellent. Now release the ground and do it again. I want to make sure you can do this quickly and without hesitation. If Lestat begins to lose control, you will have to take him and ground him with you.”
He nodded, cut the tether and reconnected it as instructed. She had him do this several more times until he could create the bond with a moment’s thought, and she praised him for his quick study.
“You’ve done well. I do not think you will have a problem with this part of the bonding,” she told him.
He looked at her and smiled at her kind words. In that moment it struck him that he really knew nothing about her. He knew that she was immortal, and a healer, but how old she was, or where she came from, or even her real name, he had no idea.
.:My name is Healer. If I ever had another name, I’ve long since forgotten it,:. she told him. .:And there will be time to sit together and know each other. There is much work for me to do here and I am sure that you will need my guidance after this deed is done. Your brother David is right in that you do not really understand what I am going to do.:.
“You are going to connect Lestat to me,” he said.
“I am going to bond you. This will be no mere connection, young one. You will be bound soul to soul. You will feel and hear everything from him, especially in the beginning. It will be as if you are one person. Do you understand?”
He swallowed and nodded. “I do Madam.”
She frowned and bade him to sit beside her on the lip of the sanctuary. “You must be aware that Lestat, as the injured party, will look to you for guidance. He will be completely emotionally dependent upon you. He will cling to you. He will not want you out of his sight. Indeed he will want to be in physical contact with you at all times because touch cements the bond and gives him a sense of security.”
She looked him in the eye and held his gaze. “You will sleep with him, eat with him, bathe with him. If you want to read, you will do so with his head in your lap. You will not be able to go anywhere without him. He will want to touch you, hold you. Physical intimacy will be a part of this bond. Will you be able to handle this?”
He thought about it, a cold dread in his heart. Eat with Lestat? It would mean having Lestat with him when he killed… Of all the things he kept most private, his hunt was sacrosanct. No one was ever invited to join him when he fed, and he hated when he caught Lestat spying on him.
He cast a nervous glance at David who was watching avidly. David would have no problems with taking Lestat on a hunt.
“There is still time to change your mind, Louis,” his brother said.
The anger came back and he refused, almost violently. ‘No. Lestat is mine. It will be an adjustment but I can do this. I have to do this.’
.:It will not be the same as it was before, young one. The Lestat you knew will not be the one to whom you are bonded. I told you that he was heart wounded and traumatized. He will bear little resemblance to the one you remember,:. he heard the healer warn.
.:But he’ll still be Lestat.:.
.:Yes, he will. And in time, he may heal
enough to return to his former self, but that may not be for years and years.:.
.:I can live with that if he is with
me. If I can help him heal.:.
.:I have warned you that intimacy
will play a strong role in this bond. Do you understand what I am saying?:.
.:He’s… he’s going to want to touch me.:. That was alright. Lestat had always been tactile, always kissing him, touching him. He was used to Lestat’s embraces and they didn’t bother him.
.:He may want more than that from you,:. she cautioned. .:I am not telling you not to refuse him. However, if the time should come when he wants attentions from you that you are not willing to give, it is best if you put distance between you as gently as possible. He must not feel rejected by you. You will be his only link to sanity and if he feels abandoned by you, he could spiral off in such a way that not even you will be able to bring him back. No matter what, he must feel that he is safe and secure with you. This is the most important thing for you to understand.:.
“I understand,” he said aloud, but he wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of Lestat wanting intimacy that involved blood sharing, which is what he was certain the healer was referring to. He didn’t mind if Lestat took his blood, but he didn’t want to drink from his maker…
.:Lestat will know that. He will
feel your reluctance. He will understand. I doubt that you will have to tell
him of your discomfort with this.:.
.:If that is so, then there is no
intimacy that I would refuse him.:.
.:Very well. I just wanted you to be
aware of what to expect.:.
“Thank you, Madam.”
The healer looked through a broken window to the night sky outside. “You should feed. It would be best for you to be full for this since I do not know when you will next be able to hunt. I will do some preparations while you are gone and be ready when you return.”
“How can you help us when you know we are killers?” he asked suddenly. “You are a healer. Should you not be repulsed by us? By our inherent evil?”
The eyes that met his were kind and understanding, but showed no sign of the revulsion he thought should be there. “You aren’t evil, young one. There is nothing about you which I find abhorrent. I have seen far worse in my lifetime and every true evil I have ever witnessed has been born of humanity itself. Now go. The night goes on and we will need enough time for this.”
Humbled, he obeyed and slipped out of the chapel with little more than a glance to David and Marius. He hunted quickly, but well, taking two victims since he did not know if he would be able to feed again tomorrow or the next night. He knew he could go four nights without hunting but that was about his limit.
When he returned, Marius and David were still there, sitting in the first row of seats before the communion rail while the healer knelt next to Lestat. Giving a nod to David and Marius, and steeling his nerve, he joined her and presented himself. She looked up at him and he could see the lines of weariness on her face.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“Yes, Madam.”
“Very well. We shall begin.”
She bade him to kneel beside her and took his hand. As he lowered himself down, he saw that there was a small metal knife and a red cord next to her on the wood.
“I am going to bind you first, before I break the last of the spell. I’ve already removed a number of the traps set into the web, and I think I have a clear way to the actual wards themselves, but I did not want to proceed until I had put you in place. Once he regains consciousness, things are likely to happen very quickly. You must be prepared to gather him to you and ground,” she told him.
He nodded. “I understand.”
“When I do this, at first you will only feel a void inside you. This is the empty place where he will be. Once he wakes, he will fill that space and it will feel as if he is flooding into you. You will have to be ready for the onslaught so you can maintain a clear head.”
“I won’t let him drag me into it. I give you my word,” he assured her.
She looked at him and smiled again. “Let us do this then.”
“Yes.”
Taking hold of his hand again, he watched her pick up the knife and slice a deep gash in his palm with the razor sharp edge. He winced at the pain but said nothing as they both watched his blood bubble up out of the wound and spill down his wrist and forearm. Then he saw her lift Lestat’s limp hand and press the blade against his palm. He watched, transfixed, as she cut into Lestat’s hard flesh and his blood poured out.
She moved quickly before the wounds healed and tied his palm to Lestat’s with the red cord. He felt the shock of their mixed blood invading the cut in his hand but he did not try to pull away. The healer then placed one hand on his wrist and the other on Lestat’s, and closed her eyes.
There were no words, no incantations or obvious spell casting with all its associated ritual and rites. Instead he felt a great power moving into him, spreading through his body until he felt warm and at peace. When the sensation receded, he immediately noticed the void she had warned him about. It was like a blank spot inside of him, an empty place that was waiting for its occupant. He took a deep breath and touched it with his mind, trying to plumb its depths but felt nothing but a dark coldness.
“There. It is done,” he heard her say, her voice tired, and he looked at her.
“Are you alright, Madam?” he asked, concerned.
She nodded. “Yes, but I fear I have just enough energy left to break the spell on Lestat. After that, I will be completely spent.”
“I am certain that Marius or David will make sure that you get back to the house safely so you can rest,” he offered, shivering a little. The void inside him was growing… colder.
“Yes, we will all go once this is done,” Marius confirmed. “I have prepared rooms for David, and Louis and Lestat so we can be close on hand if Louis or Lestat needs us.”
The healer shook her head. “No. Lestat and Louis must have complete seclusion for the first two weeks at least. Nothing can interfere with the new bond. After tonight, no one should attempt to see or speak with Lestat until the bond between him and Louis is completely cemented.”
“Where will they stay then?” David asked.
“We’ll stay here for tonight at least, then we’ll go to the penthouse or the Rue Royale if that is what Lestat wants,” he replied.
He didn’t want to admit it, but the idea of being left completely alone with Lestat appealed to him. Long ago Lestat had promised that they would come together and have each other in ways that they had never had in the past, but that time never seemed to come. Now it appeared that they would get that time, and perhaps much more of it than either of them had ever anticipated.
“Alright, if that is what you feel ought to be done,” David demurred, lowering his eyes.
Louis felt a small surge of satisfaction from David’s discomfort, and just a little bit of victory. David had tried to take Lestat away from him and had been vanquished. Now all his brother could do was try to be gracious in defeat.
“Yes. I think it would be best,” he decided.
David gave a small nod. “Very well. Marius and I will prepare a safe place for the two of you here.”
“Thank you, David.”
“I’m going to do this now. I am not certain how long it will take. As I have said, this spell is a maze of traps and tricks. I’ve broken most of it already, but I have no idea what I will find when I actually try to cut the cords,” the healer said.
“What shall we do while we wait?” Marius asked.
“Nothing. If things go wrong, there will be nothing you can do, but I don’t anticipate anything untoward happening. With Lestat now bound to Louis, he won’t be able to leave his body so his power will be somewhat inhibited. That is another aspect of this bonding. If either of them wants to astrally project, they will both have to go, and frankly, I don’t think anyone could knock Louis out of his body against his will even if they tried,” she replied.
They nodded that they understood and she gave them a tired smile.
“Thank you, Madam,” he said suddenly. “Thank you for helping us. You did not have to, but you did and I… I am very grateful.”
The smile grew sad. “It is not in my nature to refuse those who need my aid. Nor is it like me to allow this creature you call Memnoch to continue wreaking havoc on this world. But you should not thank me, my friend. I am condemning you and you do not even know it. This bond can be your greatest wish or your greatest nightmare. What it will become, will be entirely up to you. I pray that your love for him, and his for you, will be enough to bring you both out of the darkness.”
He had no answer for her, nor did he think she was waiting for one, so he said nothing. He knew the risk he was taking, probably better than any of them. After all, he had lived with Lestat for almost seventy years, and he knew very well what Lestat could be like. But Lestat needed him, and he needed Lestat to need him. It was the only thing that ever kept Lestat with him. Louis knew he could never be enough for Lestat, the way Lestat was for him. Lestat needed to be the center of attention, but all Louis needed was Lestat.
He didn’t know what the new bond would bring or how it was all going to play out. He just knew that he couldn’t let David take Lestat away from him, so he had chosen to be the one the healer bonded to Lestat. Whatever happened now was uncharted territory for both of them.
He came out of his quiet thoughts when he realized that the healer had placed her hands on Lestat’s head. Curiously, he watched and waited, mentally padding the void inside him in hopes of fortifying it against the coming onslaught. At some point, Marius and David left the chapel to prepare the room for him and Lestat, but they returned before the healer was finished what she was doing.
A very long time passed and he guessed that there were no more than two hours left before dawn when she finally sighed and removed her hands. He saw her slump heavily, as if drained and he reached out to take her arm.
“Madam?” he asked.
She looked at him, her eyes glazed and empty. “He’s coming.”
He tightened his lips and nodded, trying to quell any nervousness he felt. “I am ready.”
“I dearly hope so.”
He didn’t have any warning. No, he couldn’t say that. The healer’s eyes had opened wide in alarm just before Lestat’s body jerked violently, convulsing, and he had a millisecond to brace himself before Lestat came barreling into him. The force hit him so hard that he was thrust away from Lestat and sent sprawling across the sanctuary floor. The red cord that had tied their wrists together snapped like a thin thread as the empty void inside him was suddenly filled to bursting, the pure essence of Lestat spilling over like a great flood. It nearly paralyzed him and he lay dazed on the polished wood, his head spinning, while Lestat writhed just a few feet away from him.
He was so overwhelmed that he was only barely aware when Lestat stopped thrashing. From the corner of his eye, he saw Lestat twist and roll to his knees. His maker’s head was down, his filthy blond hair falling forward to conceal his face, but he could see Lestat’s body trembling.
‘Have to gather him to me and ground,’ he thought, fighting back the deluge of pain and grief that he was feeling through the bond. ‘Mon Dieu! The anguish!’
He was still dizzy, his vision going in and out, but he knew he had to get to Lestat. He knew that he had to pull himself together and ground Lestat. He could hear Lestat moaning loudly, see his maker repetitively banging his forehead against the wooden floor, and he outstretched his arm to reach for him. Lestat couldn’t see him because he was still doubled over, hugging himself and groaning, then he suddenly rose up on his knees, threw back his head and screamed. He screamed so loud that two more of the stained glass windows shattered within moments and three more cracked. He screamed loud enough to rupture his vocal chords, and Louis screamed with him, taken up in the agony, the suffering.
The scream went on and on and he was only dimly aware of Marius cursing or David’s admonishment.
“Damnit, I knew he wasn’t strong enough! Now what do we do?”
“We have to separate them! Healer, what can be done?”
No! He would not let anyone take this from him. He raged, fighting back the pain and rose to his knees. Gritting his teeth he began clawing his way over to Lestat, pushing through the agony in order to get to his maker.
“No, look. He’s going to him now,” he heard the healer reply.
Lestat was still screaming when Louis finally reached him.
“Lestat!” he called, laying a hand on Lestat’s shoulder.
Lestat shuddered at the touch but he ignored it, using the leverage of his grip on Lestat to pull himself forward until he was able to wrap his arms around him.
‘Gather him close and ground. Gather him close and ground…’
He felt it, the cord that tied his soul to Lestat’s. He took it into his hands and drew it into himself, then he connected both of them to the earth the way the healer had taught him. He felt the rush of Lestat’s soul anchoring through the ground, and heard Lestat’s scream abruptly cut off.
‘Oh thank God,’ he thought, his ears still ringing.
His relief was short-lived, however, as a wave of terror and confusion slammed into him. He wasn’t expecting it so it momentarily knocked him off their connection to the earth, and Lestat went spiraling off again. Scrambling, he grabbed Lestat’s soul and re-grounded. This time Lestat shivered and lunged away, ripping himself out of Louis’s hands.
“Lestat!” he cried, crawling after him.
More confusion. More terror and something else. Disbelief. Horror. Anguish. He didn’t understand it, then Lestat’s eyes met his and he saw the blue-grey orbs open wide with fright.
“Lestat!” he called again. .:Lestat!:.
A strangled gurgle escaped Lestat’s throat, bloody froth flecking the white lips, and a torrent of jumbled, incoherent thoughts flooded into Louis. He couldn’t make any real sense out of the images he was receiving from his maker, just an overwhelming feeling that Lestat didn’t believe what he was seeing. He reasoned that since Lestat had just spent over ten years trapped inside his own mind, that he might not recognize reality outside of it.
He reached out, trying to convince Lestat that he was real.
“Lestat,” he repeated, simultaneously tugging on the bond between them.
The action did not have the reaction that he hoped it would. Instead of being comforted, Lestat seemed even more distressed. He scrambled away, his feet slipping on the wood floor until he toppled off the lip of the sanctuary and landed on the black and white tiles that bordered the chapel. Louis followed him, catching up as Lestat rolled to his knees and tried to crawl up the main aisle.
.:Ground him and keep him grounded. Once you make the link, hold it down tight,:. he heard the healer tell him.
He nodded in acknowledgement and grabbed Lestat’s thigh. Lestat collapsed at the touch, whimpering and slumping to the floor, and Louis shifted next to him, placing his body alongside him and covering him until he lay practically atop his maker with his cheek pressed to Lestat’s shoulder blade as he grounded them both again. He did it gently, thinking that maybe the previous times had been too sudden for Lestat, and tried to soothe his maker.
“Shh, Lestat. It’s alright,” he murmured in Lestat’s ear.
Lestat groaned, trembling, and the blue-grey eye that met his was terrified.
‘Not real. Not real. Not real,’ he heard Lestat thinking over and over like a broken record.
.:But I am real, Lestat,:. he assured.
He saw his maker bite his lip hard enough to draw blood and squeeze his eyes shut. ‘Not real. Don’t look. Don’t listen. Not real. Can’t be real. Maker and fledgling cannot hear each other. It’s a trick. The devil’s tricked you. Don’t believe it. Don’t believe it.’
‘He doesn’t believe it’s really
me. He doesn’t understand why he can hear my thoughts,’ he realized.
“Lestat.” .:Lestat.:.
He stroked Lestat’s hair, petting the soft blonde curls, as he held the ground as firmly as he could. He saw David coming close and Marius helping an obviously exhausted Healer move towards them.
“Lestat,” Marius said.
‘Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look,’ came Lestat’s thoughts and he saw Lestat crack open one eye for a quick peek before slamming it shut again. ‘Not real. Not real. But Marius! Marius help me! The devil’s after me and he’s taken my Louis’s face! Please help me!’
“Lestat, it is not the devil who holds you so tightly, but your own fledgling Louis,” Marius explained gently.
‘Louis? No! It can’t be. It can’t be.’
“It is me, Lestat. It’s your Louis,” he confirmed.
Lestat just trembled and shook his head.
Louis watched as the healer slumped down into the chair closest to them. She looked barely able to stay conscious, her arms limp and her eyes glazed. For a moment he worried for her and Lestat must have felt it because he opened his eyes to look up at her.
It was hard to translate the feelings that coursed through Lestat when he saw the strange woman, but among the confusion and wonder was an underlying wariness that felt slightly protective. Louis quickly realized that Lestat was trying to decide if the newcomer was dangerous or posed a threat… not to Lestat himself but to Louis.
.:No. I mean you no harm,:. the healer replied to the unspoken question. .:And no harm to your beloved. I am Healer. It was I who broke the spell that bound you. There is much I would say to you but I am too weary so it must wait. Instead, I will tell you what you must know for now and save the rest for later.
.:Firstly, do not be afraid. The Louis you
see is indeed your fledgling. You can feel him and hear him because he has been
bound to you. He has become your anchor to the real world so that no one will
be able to seal you into your mind again or force you from your body. You have
been trapped, Lestat, inside your head for a decade. Ten years have passed
since your ordeal with the one who called himself Memnoch, and in those ten
years you have lain on the floor of this chapel, unresponsive and still. The
nightmares you witnessed were only illusions created by your mind. Now you have
been freed but you are wounded and in need of healing.:.
Louis could tell that Lestat didn’t really believe her, and that her words only frightened him more, but he held onto his maker and kept the ground tight. Lestat fought it a little, testing the strength of the bond but when he felt that he had caused Louis pain, he stopped immediately.
No, it was more like he wilted the moment Louis winced, and his entire countenance collapsed as he relaxed to the floor of the chapel, not fighting, not thinking, just merely resigned and waiting for whatever fate would befall him now. It was so unlike Lestat that for a moment Louis was utterly terrified that Lestat had somehow managed to slip into his mind again, but his fear transmitted through the bond and Lestat looked at him with eyes that were clear and responsive.
‘He’s there. Oh, he’s there!’ Louis thought, allowing the reality of Lestat awake and alive to finally reach him, and the joy and gratitude he felt was almost overwhelming.
.:Lestat,:. he said, trying to transmit all the love inside him into the bond.
A choked gurgle escaped Lestat’s throat and he saw blood darken the white lips.
‘He’s completely ripped his vocal chords.’
.:Yes, and I’ve not the strength to heal them,:. the healer confirmed. .:In time, however, they will heal on their own so I am not concerned about them. I am much more concerned with his mental state right now. He is in quite a bit of shock.:.
Yes. He had known that. He could feel the stress and tension coming through the bond, constantly battering at the tie that grounded them both and dampened Lestat’s powers. Shifting a little, he moved his leg so that he was not pinning Lestat down anymore, and let Lestat roll over onto his back. He did keep his arm around him, however, holding him close and trying to keep him calm. Lestat looked up at him with a mixture of fear and hope. He smiled, trying to reassure his maker that he was real and that everything was going to be all right. Lestat trembled and stared at him, unblinking, his hands curled into tight fists that were held against his chest in a defensive position. He reached up and smoothed back the dirty blond hair, crooning softly in order to comfort and calm. Lestat sighed at the tender touch and relaxed a little bit.
.:Lestat.:.
‘Louis…’ he heard Lestat think.
.:Oui.:.
‘Louis.’
He sent love through the bond again and this time Lestat didn’t shiver. Instead he lifted a shaky hand and touched Louis’s face.
.:Are you real?:.
.:Yes, Lestat. I am real.:.
Tears welled up in Lestat’s eyes and red spilled down his cheeks as he began to sob. Louis drew him close, comforting Lestat as he wept, moving so that Lestat could embrace him. The images and thoughts coming across the bond were now ones of love, relief and regret, and he tried to soothe his maker’s distress with thoughts of safety and affection.
They stayed there, sprawled on the chapel floor, for what seemed like ages. Dimly he was aware that the healer was rising to her feet, but he did not look at her because he was concentrating all of his attention on Lestat.
.:I think he’s going to be alright,:. he heard her tell him and he smiled softly.
.:Thank you.:.
.:Take care of him. He’s going to
need a lot of comforting in the next few nights.:.
.:I will. I promise, Madam. I am in
your debt.:.
.:I’ll be staying close for a while. If you have questions, Marius will know where to find me,:. she said.
“I will be close as well, Louis,” David added.
At the sound of David’s voice, Lestat stiffened and Louis felt him slowly raise his head.
.:David? David is here?:. he heard Lestat say.
“Yes. David is here,” he confirmed.
He watched as Lestat lifted his eyes and searched for David, noting how Lestat smiled the moment he saw his newest fledgling. He helped Lestat when he struggled to sit up, but did not leave Lestat’s side when his maker reached out a hand to David, and he said nothing when David knelt on one knee to take Lestat’s hand.
“Lestat,” David whispered. “Lestat, I have no words…”
Unable to speak, Lestat looked crushed for a moment, and Louis felt the need in his maker to say something. Guilelessly pushing aside his own jealousy of his brother, he silently let Lestat know that he would tell David anything Lestat wanted him to hear.
There was a brief moment of confusion and surprise from Lestat when he offered this, then a quiet amusement when Lestat recognized that Louis was jealous. What followed was something between an endearment and a scolding, Lestat gently chastising him for being insecure but couching it in a thick wrapping of love, and Louis was comforted. The next thoughts Lestat sent through the bond were the messages for David, subdued and tinged with sadness.
“David,” he said, translating the images coming across. “Lestat says…” He paused, listening. “Lestat says: I’m sorry, David. You tried to warn me and I wouldn’t listen.”
“It’s alright, Lestat. I really didn’t expect you to listen. You rarely do,” David replied.
If David meant the words to comfort Lestat, it didn’t work. If anything, they made Lestat even more sad. Louis watched as Lestat slipped his hand from David’s and lowered his eyes, then he turned once again and pressed his face to Louis’s chest. Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat when Lestat did this, he placed his arm around his maker and nuzzled his ear tenderly.
.:I’m tired,:. Lestat said.
“He says he’s tired,” he told them, noting the look of disappointment on David’s face.
“As is to be expected,” Marius commented. “Let’s get him to the room we’ve prepared for you. It’s David’s old room that he kept when he lived here. It wasn’t damaged by the hurricane.”
The sound of Marius’s voice brought an overwhelming rush of regret and shame from Lestat. The strength of it surprised Louis because he didn’t realize that Lestat had ever truly been ashamed of anything, but he knew without knowing that Lestat did not want to face Marius after all that had happened. Thinking about it, it rather made sense because, no matter how much Lestat loved to irritate the ancient vampire, he still looked to Marius as a father figure. Louis realized that Lestat had played a futile game of trying to please his long dead father, and now to feel that Marius would somehow be terribly disappointed in him, hurt Lestat deeply.
The shame was soon replaced by anger, anger he had seen so many times, but now he understood that the anger was a defensive mechanism used to hide his shame. He took the anger from Lestat, pushing it through the ground, and calmed his maker gently. He was still somewhat amazed to feel the anger fade and understand that he had been the cause of it. He had soothed Lestat’s ire and calmed the famous temper. Had he not done it himself, he would not have believed that such a thing was possible.
“Yes,” he agreed. “It is getting very late and I will need to sleep soon…” He stopped, realizing the time. It was nearly dawn. By all rights he should have been unconscious by now, deep in the Death Sleep, but he was wide awake. He must have gasped in shock because the healer’s weary mindvoice answered his unspoken question.
.:You are bonded to Lestat. You will
find that you will share some of his powers. As he is an early riser and late
to sleep, so you will as well, to some extent.:.
‘Oh…’
“But, come. Let us get Lestat to his feet and get you both where you may safely rest for the day,” Marius said.
Louis saw Marius reaching down to help Lestat get up and knew that Lestat did not want Marius to touch him, so he moved his shoulder as carefully as possible to block the ancient vampire’s hand. He did not want Marius to think he was being rude, even though he knew that he was, but he also did not want Lestat to become upset again.
“I’ll help him, Marius,” he whispered, looking up and meeting the blue eyes with an expression he hoped conveyed his apologies.
Marius seemed to understand and backed off a little, and Lestat uncurled from where he had pressed himself to Louis and slowly rolled so that his legs were underneath him, then he shakily rose to his feet with Louis supporting him. He kept one arm around Louis’s shoulders and the other clasped in Louis’s hand as he buried his face in Louis’s dark hair and refused to look at anyone.
With careful steps, Louis walked forward and guided Lestat out of the chapel. He didn’t speak, but he didn’t need to and Lestat kept his face hidden as they slowly walked to David’s old room. It had been outfitted with a large bed and all the windows had been heavily draped in dark curtains to block the sunlight. They entered and the door was closed behind them with a final reassuring word from David and Marius that they would be staying close by.
Louis didn’t really care if they were near. In fact, he would have preferred they left completely because he was feeling a very strong desire to have Lestat all to himself, although he suspected that desire was actually a reflection of Lestat’s need to be alone with him. Indeed, Lestat was sending very clear signals that the only person he could abide to touch him was Louis.
Once left alone, he felt Lestat relax and he guided his maker to the bed. He was starting to feel the effects of the coming dawn now, so he knew that he did not have a great deal of time left before the Death Sleep took him.
“Here, Lestat. Let us get you out of those clothes. They are filthy and falling to pieces,” he said softly, taking note of the soiled, tattered clothing Lestat wore.
Lestat pulled away from him slowly and looked down at himself, a line of puzzlement marring his face. Louis felt Lestat’s confusion as if he were trying to figure out why his clothes were in such a state, but he refrained from explaining because he wanted Lestat to come to the answers himself.
Finally, Lestat seemed to let go of his confusion with a little shrug and began peeling off his dirty garments. Apparently, having clothes in such a state was not unknown to him and he hadn’t been distressed by their condition. From what Louis could determine, the source of Lestat’s consternation was that he could not remember why his clothes were falling apart.
‘Well, of course. If he’s been trapped in his mind for ten years, he has no memory of lying on the chapel floor for all that time,’ he reasoned.
Lestat must have heard him, or at least felt something through the bond, because there was a sudden surge of surprise, then a flood of pain, fear and anguish. It hit him hard because he hadn’t been prepared for it, and almost knocked him to his knees, but he swallowed the pain and rallied, grabbing hold of the bond and grounding. He immediately felt the effect of the ground calming Lestat’s wild emotions and breathed a sigh of relief. When he looked at Lestat, however, he saw that his maker was weeping.
“Lestat. It’s alright, Lestat,” he cajoled, stroking his maker’s arm and pushing him gently towards the bed.
Still weeping, Lestat slumped to the mattress and Louis finished the task of removing Lestat’s clothes by ripping off the torn trousers and pulling off the socks and shoes. He threw everything in a haphazard heap on the floor then urged Lestat to get under the covers as he held them up.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said tenderly.
Lestat looked up at him, his expression broken. .:You’ll stay with me?:.
He smiled and wiped away the streaks of blood tears from Lestat’s cheeks. .:Of course, Lestat. I won’t leave you. I’ll be right here,:. he assured.
Lestat closed his eyes with relief and slid beneath the blankets as Louis kicked off his shoes and joined him. Covering them both up with the bedclothes, he wrapped his arms around Lestat as his maker curled up on his side, his forehead tucked against Louis’s shoulder as they both drifted into peaceful lethargy.
Ah so wonderful to be this close again, to sleep with a beloved in his arms. Claudia, sweet, doomed Claudia, had been the last one to share his bed. Not even Armand had been permitted that intimacy, but now he remembered how pleasant it was to hold someone close to his heart, and he wondered if Lestat had ever shared such closeness with anyone.
An image of someone he didn’t know flashed briefly in his mind, but it was obvious that it was someone whom Lestat had known and loved. The name ‘Nicki’ whispered softly through the bond, followed by bittersweet memories of a dear friend long lost but not forgotten.
‘His violinist friend,’ Louis realized. ‘The one who went insane.’
Deep sadness and regret passed through him, and he soothed Lestat with soft caresses and murmured words of comfort until Lestat settled. There was something profound in having his maker pressed so close to him, and he felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and love. Beside him, Lestat sighed and he felt his maker fall asleep, his face a picture of perfect trust. He kissed the beloved brow tenderly and followed him into unconsciousness.
4
When the sun set the following night, Louis found himself waking almost an hour earlier than he was used to rising. At first he was confused as to why he was awake so early, but then the memory of the previous night and what had occurred came back to him. He turned his head to look beside him and smiled when he saw the golden hair of his maker nestled next to his own. They’d separated only a little over the day, Lestat moving just slightly further up the bed to lay his head on the pillow, but he was still on his side and still pressed against him, their legs entwined.
Touching the bond between them, he felt Lestat’s slumbering mind and was comforted in the knowledge that his maker was still with him, albeit still asleep. It wasn’t the Death Sleep, however, rather it was simple, mortal sleep that none of them really needed but seemed to enjoy anyway.
He sighed and closed his eyes, lightly stroking the hard, smooth skin of Lestat’s naked shoulder, as he let himself drift somewhere between consciousness and dreams. The bond he shared with Lestat hummed quietly and he was completely at ease and content. Not even the thirst that nagged at him seemed to be able to break him from his calm serenity, and he smiled, nuzzling Lestat’s hair. He hadn’t been this happy or at peace in a very long time.
Relaxing and letting his defenses down, he realized that he could hear the rumbling thoughts of mortals close by. The newfound gift didn’t surprise him because he remembered the healer’s warning that he would share some of Lestat’s talents, but at the same time, he didn’t want the errant thoughts of strangers impeding on his seclusion with Lestat. So he experimented with extending and contracting his mind until he could block out the vast majority of them at will. Lestat slept through it all, showing no signs of waking any time soon, but he didn’t mind. It was enough to hold Lestat in his arms and be close to him.
He’d just been about to succumb to his own sleep when the bond between them suddenly surged to life with a rush of panic and pain. Immediately Louis realized that Lestat was having a nightmare, a terrible nightmare that he could only get brief glimpses of before Lestat started screaming, both mentally and physically.
Since his vocal chords had yet to completely heal, Lestat ripped them again with his harsh cries and blood stained his pale lips once more as he writhed on the bed. Louis put a little distance between them to keep Lestat from harming him in his delirium, then took up the bond and tried to calm Lestat down by sending love and gentle soothing. The bond opened up and a horrific image of himself, blackened and burned, flashed in his mind. The scene was obviously a manifestation of one of Lestat’s worst fears, as was evidenced by the wailing howls of grief that Lestat cried in the dream as he gathered what was left of Louis to his chest. The sheer power of the emotion was overwhelming. Louis knew Lestat loved him but he had never felt the true depth of that love until now. Lestat was quite literally devastated by the thought of Louis being destroyed, and he was nearly incoherent with despair.
“Lestat!” .:Lestat!:. he called, shaking his maker roughly to try to break him out of the dream, even as he pulled on the bond.
Lestat came awake with a strangled gasp, blood spewing from his open mouth to splatter on the pillowcase and on Louis’s cheeks. His blue-grey eyes were huge with terror, and Louis grounded them both quickly before Lestat lost control completely.
“Lestat. It’s just a dream, Lestat.”
A tortured moan escaped Lestat’s lips as he shakily stroked Louis’s face and hair, his eyes filling with tears.
.:Louis. Louis.:.
“I’m here. I’m alright,” he assured him.
Lestat heaved a great sob and began to weep. He reached out blindly and grabbed Louis in a fierce hug as he buried his face in Louis’s black hair. Louis embraced him just as strongly, stroking Lestat’s head and murmuring endearments meant to comfort. He held the ground tight, siphoning the worst of it into the earth, as he sent love and peace across the bond. Lestat trembled in his arms, still making tortured noises, although they were much muffled, and he could feel and smell the blood that still spilled from his maker’s lips.
“Shhh. Hush, Lestat. You are ripping your local chords again. How ever will you revive your rock star career if you destroy your voice?” he whispered, trying to tease.
The gentle jibe worked enough to get Lestat to stop sobbing, but not enough to get him to loosen his iron-tight grip. The images coming across now were a jumble of memories from that distant decade, mostly of Akasha and the terrible things that had happened. For a moment Louis regretted reminding Lestat of the concert and his ill-fated plans to become a rock idol, but then a very clear image of himself as seen through Lestat’s eyes on the night they had been reunited came to him. He felt the joy, the surge of humbling love that Lestat had experienced upon seeing him again, and all the dark memories were eclipsed by that one shining moment.
‘Louis, back with me. All I ever…’ he heard Lestat think in the soft thoughts that passed between them but were different from direct mindspeech. These were thoughts Lestat wasn’t sending consciously and they had a different feel from the ones that were.
.:I know. I felt that way too,:. he replied, and sent Lestat the companion image, the one where he saw himself through Louis’s eyes on that night and felt the joy and relief Louis had experienced when he saw Lestat for the first time in sixty years.
.:So good to see you. So good to hold you. Wanted to hold you all night. Never let you go, but then she…:. Lestat admitted regretfully.
Ah, yes. She. The Queen who took Lestat and destroyed everything. He would have said more or said something, at least, about that time, but the distinct, distracting presence of another approaching the closed bedroom door stopped him.
He knew immediately that it was Marius, although how he could tell, he wasn’t quite sure. His newfound ability to read thoughts was still a bit confusing, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. Marius’s presence was coming and Lestat felt it too. He grew still and quiet, anticipating, and his mind was laced with fear. The iron-grip tightened even more as Lestat began to shiver.
Go away! He wanted to shout, tucking Lestat close, trying to shield him with his body if he must. The intrusion was unwelcome, unwarranted and he felt such a vicious protectiveness that he almost caught himself growling.
A polite knock that made Lestat cringe rapped softly on the door.
“Louis? Is everything alright? We felt a… disturbance. We are… concerned.”
It took every ounce of Southern Gentleman manners he had not to scream for Marius to leave them alone. He wasn’t wanted. He wasn’t needed. He and Lestat were fine. Couldn’t anyone just leave them alone for one night without meddling? But instead of raging about how he was tired of being treated like a child because he was the weakest, and fed up with everyone being so patronizing and conciliatory so as not to upset his ‘delicate sensibilities,’ he took a deep breath to calm himself and managed to reply in a way that he was certain would both surprise Marius and get his point across.
.:Yes, Marius. We are fine. Lestat had a nightmare but everything is alright now,:. he answered firmly.
He practically felt the shock from Marius at his unexpected mindspeech and smirked to himself. Through the bond, he could feel Lestat’s quiet amusement and nuzzled the golden hair affectionately.
.:Very well. If there is nothing we can do…:. Marius said hesitantly.
.:There is not. But I thank you for
your concern.:.
.:Yes, well... If you need anything,
you have but to call. We will come immediately.:.
.:I know and… and we are grateful.
If we need anything, we’ll contact you.:.
‘Don’t call us. We’ll call you. In the meantime, go away. Go away. Go away,’ he thought icily, still vibrating from his fit of temper.
There was a moment of obvious indecision, then he felt and heard Marius retreat. Sighing with relief, he relaxed and turned his attention to his maker, happy to note that Lestat was relaxing too.
.:He’s gone now.:.
.:Thank you. I couldn’t… I can’t…:.
.:I understand.:.
Lestat
raised his head and he found himself looking into a pair of tormented blue-grey
eyes. .:Do you? Do you really?:.
.:Oui. I do,:. he affirmed.
Closing his haunted eyes, Lestat sighed and lowered his head again, pressing his face to the soft spot on Louis’s collarbone. .:No. I don’t think you do. Otherwise why would you have been so foolish as to bind yourself to a lunatic like me?:.
.:Don’t say such things, Lestat,:. he scolded gently, mostly because Lestat was voicing his own secret fear that his maker was damaged beyond repair.
.:It’s true.:.
.:No, it is not. And I will do
everything in my power to see that you recover and are once again yourself.:.
Lestat let
out another small sigh and fisted his hand into Louis’s shirt, clinging to him
like a lost child. .:I don’t know. I
don’t know who I am anymore. You’re the only thing that’s real to me now.:.
.:Hush. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal, Lestat. You need time to heal. Just rest. You are safe here and I will protect you,:. he promised.
.:I don’t deserve you, Louis.:.
.:Well... that goes without saying, doesn’t it,:. he teased playfully.
A soft chuckle was Lestat’s answer, but he felt his maker slowly falling to sleep again. He knew that Lestat was tired and his throat was sore, and the feeling of being held in Louis’s arms was too warm and comfortable, even though they were both chilled from lack of blood. Louis drew the covers more securely around them both and snuggled close.
.:Sleep, Lestat. I’ll be right here
when you wake.:.
.:Thank you, Louis. I… I love you.
So much.:.
Tears welled in his eyes at the sound of the much anticipated words and Lestat felt his surprise and gratitude.
.:I’m sorry I don’t say it enough,:. his maker apologized.
.:No. No, it’s alright. It’s just… I love
you too, Lestat. Very much. Now sleep. You need your rest. I’ll guard your
dreams and keep the nightmares away.:.
Lestat nodded sleepily and let out a soft sigh. A few moments later, he felt Lestat drift off to sleep. He stayed awake, however, and kept his promise to guard Lestat’s rest. No one else bothered them and they did not leave the bed for the rest of the night. They were still wrapped around each other when the sun rose, and he was forced to succumb to the Death Sleep.
5
The following night he woke hungry but continued to ignore the thirst. This time Lestat woke before him and he was greeted upon waking by Lestat’s blue-grey eyes staring at him. He smiled in spite of the scrutiny and sighed when Lestat raised a hand to cup his chin. Pressing his cheek further into his maker’s palm, he closed his eyes with contentment.
“Good evening, Lestat,” he whispered.
.:Louis.:.
Hm. Lestat was still using mindspeech. That meant his throat was still bothering him, although Louis could not feel any pain transmitting through the bond. He opened his eyes and saw that Lestat was still staring at him.
“Is something wrong, Lestat?” he asked, backing his question up with a touch of concern.
Lestat felt it and shuddered. .:I… I still cannot believe that this is possible…:.
He took
Lestat’s hand and squeezed it gently. .:Believe
it.:.
Lestat looked pained and he drew his maker close, tucking the blond head under his chin.
.:How? How could let them do this to you?:.
.:How? Lestat, I didn’t let anyone
do this to me. I chose to do this.
David wanted to be the one, but I quarreled with him and demanded that the
healer choose me.:.
.:Why? Why would you do such a
thing?:.
.:You know why. I want to be you,:. he explained.
Pain and despair came across the bond and Louis held Lestat tight.
.:You don’t want to be me, Louis. I don’t even want to be me anymore.:.
He ran his hands through Lestat’s blond hair. It was dirty and tangled, but he didn’t care. As soon as there was water service in the Quarter once again, they could both take baths in the monstrous tub Lestat had ordered installed in their Rue Royale home.
.:Yes,:. Lestat agreed, obviously seeing
the vision of the flat in Louis’s mind. .:Home.
I want to go home. Will you take me, Louis?:.
.:Tonight?:.
Lestat
curled closer and fisted his hands in Louis’s shirt. .:No. Not tonight. I’m not ready to… go out tonight.:.
.:Of course. Tomorrow, then, if
you’re up to it.:.
.:Yes.:.
There was quiet stillness for a moment and Louis felt the stirrings of the thirst again. He thrust it down but not before Lestat felt it and made a disapproving noise.
.:You’re hungry.:.
.:Only a little,:. he assured.
Lestat breathed sharply through his nose, making a ‘huff’ sound that conveyed what he thought about Louis’s answer.
.:You didn’t feed last night either because
you were… because you were with me.:.
.:It’s not that bad. I can go a few
nights without hunting.:.
Sad
resignation crossed the bond, as if Lestat already knew what Louis’s reply
would be. .:You… you won’t drink from me,
will you.:.
.:Non, Lestat. You know I won’t. But
please don’t be concerned for me. I am fine.:.
.:But you haven’t fed for two
nights.:.
.:And you haven’t fed in over ten
years. Are you hungry?:.
Lestat was
quiet and Louis could feel his maker mulling over his answer. .:Yes, but not hungry enough to leave this
room or this bed.:.
Louis smiled. .:And I feel the same. I will feed tomorrow
night. I promise.:.
There was silence again, full of slowly eddying currents of emotion that passed between them. Louis soon discovered that there was some small measure of privacy in the bond in that he could not read Lestat’s thoughts unless he actively chose to do so. If he remained passive then emotions, flickers of images, and occasional stray thought were all that came across. That was good to know because he assumed that the converse was true for Lestat, and meant that they could give each other some space if they needed a little distance.
He knew that Lestat was still confused and not entirely convinced that what was happening to him was real. He also knew that Lestat was still extremely traumatized, even if he was quiet and calm now. He could feel the undercurrent of pain and grief bubbling just underneath it all, and he knew it could come screaming to the surface at any time.
He attributed Lestat’s calm with the shock of being released from his long confinement. Still dizzy and befuddled, he clung to Louis like a lifeline, and the initial period of readjustment had yet to fade. As soon as it did, however, he knew that they would both have to deal with the repercussions of the last decade. In a way he was grateful for the respite, no matter how long it lasted. Even if the next few weeks were full of chaos and anguish, at least he’d had these two nights alone with his maker in relative peace and contentment.
Peace and contentment that was about to be interrupted by a visitor, if what he was feeling was accurate. He felt the presence of another vampire enter the orphanage, followed by the mind he recognized as Marius.
‘Hm, the other must be David, then,’ he reasoned.
He tracked the two as they came up the stairs and down the hallway, paying close attention to the changes in Lestat’s emotional state. His maker felt the newcomers too and he was getting nervous, his mind roiling in turmoil.
.:Keep them away, Louis, please! I
cannot bear to see them!:.
Lestat’s upset made him angry and protective, and if he’d had the gift of telekinesis, he might have considered barricading the door from the outside, just to prove a point. There was still quite a bit of Roger’s collection in the orphanage, and he wondered how Marius and David would feel if they came upon a door piled high with religious artifacts. But as far as he knew, he couldn’t move things with his mind; then again, he hadn’t really tried either. Now was not the time for experimentation, however. Now was the time to enforce the healer’s decree of no visitors for two weeks.
It was odd how angry he became when others tried to intrude. It really wasn’t like him to be so territorial, but now he was behaving like a panther guarding his mate, and that was exactly how it felt. He was guarding Lestat, dealing with all threats and providing his maker with the safety and seclusion he needed while in his delicate condition. The very hint of another coming close set off all manner of alarms in his head and he once again felt the growl building in his throat.
He didn’t even let them get close to the door before he sent off his first icily polite warning.
.:We do not wish to be disturbed.:.
He felt them pause in the hall.
“Louis, it’s David and Marius,” David said aloud.
He replied
mentally. .:We know who you are, David.
Please, Lestat is not ready to receive visitors.:.
.:We understand and accept that, but will you not come out and speak with us?:. his brother asked worriedly.
He mulled over his options. If he didn’t go out, then the chances were both of them would keep coming back until he relented, and each time they did, Lestat would get upset. However, if he did go out and spend a few minutes with them, then they just might go away and leave him and Lestat alone for a while.
He didn’t really want to see them, or even leave the bed, but considering his choices, going out seemed to be the better one. Lestat didn’t like either choice, but Louis likened it to allowing the rogues to get close to him while he was comatose. If they tried to keep the interlopers out, then they just kept coming back in greater and greater numbers. But if they just let them in and allowed them to prowl around Lestat, then they would go away once they got bored. Either that or one would get stupid and try to drink from Lestat, and Lestat (or the geas as he now knew) would kill the idiot.
.:If I go out now and speak with them, perhaps I can impress upon them how important it is that we be left alone,:. he explained gently.
.:I do not wish to be away from you,:. Lestat replied.
He stroked
his maker’s blond hair. .:Nor I you, but
it is a necessary evil, I think. I will only be gone a few moments, and even
then, I’ll just be in the hall outside of this room.:.
Lestat did not seem placated, but David and Marius were waiting and Louis knew that they would grow impatient and more persistent if he did not give them an answer. Sighing, he kissed Lestat sweetly and gently pulled away.
.:I will be right back.:.
Lestat had no clear reply, only a rush of pain and desperate need. It was almost enough to make him get back into bed and say to hell with David and Marius, but he could hear them outside the door and sense their uneasiness. He left Lestat bundled in the blankets, holding the pillow that had cushioned both of their heads, and made his way to the door. Making sure his clothes were not too rumpled, he turned the knob and opened the door just enough to slip through without allowing either of the vampires in the hall to look into the bedroom. Then he placed his body against the closed door and blocked the way.
“David. Marius,” he said, his voice polite but cold.
David looked shocked at the sight of him, but Marius was noticeably silent, regarding him with wary suspicion. Well, of course he would. David might not recognize it, but they weren’t dealing with a passive Louis; they were dealing with the vampire who had burned down the Theatre des Vampires in Paris, the one who had then eluded and killed the vampires who came after him for over 120 years. Marius knew full well what Louis was capable of even if David didn’t, and he was right to be cautious. His brother, however, seemed oblivious to the precariousness of his position.
“Louis, you look frightful,” David gasped.
He crossed his arms. “I’ve been worse.”
“Well, yes, of course I’m sure you have, but…”
“There is no need to be concerned for me. I can go a few nights without feeding. This I have already told Lestat.”
“I hope you can forgive us, Louis,” Marius interrupted. “But we are very worried about you and Lestat.”
He turned baleful eyes to the older vampire and frowned. “The healer already told you that Lestat and I were to have complete seclusion for the first two weeks. No one was to attempt to see or speak to Lestat during that time.”
“And we
haven’t,” David insisted. “But… we hoped you would tell us how he is. What have
you discovered of his condition? Will he recover?”
Anger flared in him, the same
inexplicable rage that he had felt before, and the fierce possessiveness came
with it. He gritted his teeth and fought to stay calm.
“I do not know. It has only been two nights and Lestat has spent most of them sleeping.”
David looked disappointed. “So he does not speak or try to rise.”
“He speaks to me. He has told me that he wants to go home to our flat on the Rue Royale. If you want to help, you can make sure that the place is ready for us.”
“There is still no electricity or water in parts of the Quarter,” Marius reminded.
“I know.”
“But some areas are now lit. The marquees of a few hotels came on a couple of nights ago,” David added.
“New Orleans is rising from her ashes,” he said, his voice fond. “You act as if this is her first hurricane. It is not.”
“It has been by far one of the worst. The Lower Ninth Ward is completely lost,” his brother amended.
He nodded. “I know. I witnessed the devastation myself.”
“Hunting is difficult,” David admitted. “The city is slowly emptying. I think it is wise if you try to convince Lestat to leave.”
He hadn’t been certain that Lestat was listening, but the moment David mentioned leaving New Orleans, Lestat’s upset drastically increased and he could feel the anxiety coming across the bond in waves.
“No,” he answered, wincing and trying to calm Lestat down. “No, I do not think Lestat wants to leave New Orleans.”
“It will be harder and harder to hunt and hide the kill,” David pressed.
“You forget that we lived here when this city was much smaller and much less populated. We will manage.”
“That was before the modern age, Louis,” David argued. “Now mortals are much more technologically advanced.”
“There are always victims, David. Drug addicts. The homeless. All the people the world has forgotten because they are sick or poor.”
“They are bussing the sick and poor out of the city, Louis. Soon all that will be left are rescue and relief workers and you cannot feed on them.”
“So I will eat rats!” he snapped, Lestat’s turmoil bleeding into him. “God knows I’ve done it before and no one will give a damn about a few missing rodents.”
Marius stepped forward, his hands open but he gave the ancient vampire a warning glare. He did not want to be touched. Lestat was getting more and more upset the longer they were apart, and he needed to get back into the bedroom as soon as possible.
.:Relax, Lestat. I’m here. I’m
coming back in soon. Please, Lestat, just relax.:.
“Peace, Louis. We are only concerned for your welfare,” Marius cajoled.
“I understand that, Marius, and that is why I am trying to be patient. But Lestat is very vulnerable right now and I must put his needs above mine.”
“And it is because he is so vulnerable that we want to be here to protect both of you. There is a very real danger that Memnoch will come back for him,” David warned.
“Don’t say that!” he hissed, furious, but it was too late.
Lestat had heard the dreaded name and it triggered a powerful flashback. Louis tried to ground him, but without the benefit of physical touch, their bond was still too new for him to have any serious effect from where he was standing.
“Louis…”
“Enough!” he seethed. Lestat was going into a full blown panic and he could hear his maker’s mental screams howling across the bond. Blood sweat was breaking out all over his brows as he tried to get a handle on his own emotions before Lestat dragged him down into it.
“Louis? Louis what is wrong?” Marius asked worriedly.
He clenched his fists and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I have to get back to Lestat. Please don’t trouble us again. When he is ready, I will call to you and tell you, but until then, please let us have our solitude. Tomorrow we will return to the Rue Royale. It would help us greatly if you would prepare our way there. Now, I ask your forgiveness, but I really must go.”
He didn’t wait for them to answer. He was actually surprised that he had maintained his manners for as long as he did with Lestat wailing in his head. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the handle and turned it, cracking open the door and stepping backwards all in one fluid, lightning fast movement. He shut the door firmly and locked it, then spun on one heel to see the bed.
Lestat wasn’t in it, however. He was curled in a fetal ball, pressed against the far wall with his arms over his head. He was shaking all over and he shuddered violently when Louis touched him. The bond between them flared the moment physical contact was reestablished, and Louis realized that one of the reasons Lestat had been so calm up to that point was because Louis had been touching him.
Chagrined, he remembered the healer’s words: ‘You must be aware that Lestat, as the injured party, will look to you for guidance. He will be completely emotionally dependant upon you. He will cling to you. He will not want you out of his sight. Indeed he will want to be in physical contact with you at all times because touch cements the bond and gives him a sense of security.’
.:Lestat. I’m sorry, Lestat. I should not have left you. Forgive me,:. he apologized, wrapping his arms around his maker.
.:Louis. Oh God, Louis!:.
.:I’m here. I won’t leave you.:.
Lestat turned and hugged him, pressing close. Already Louis could feel the calming effects of physical contact, but he grounded just to be sure. Lestat shivered then settled against him and grew still. He thought Lestat might weep again, but his eyes remained dry even as he huddled against Louis’s chest.
.:The devil might come back?:. he heard Lestat ask.
.:It is a possibility, but if he does I’ll
protect you, Lestat. One of the reasons I did this was so that he couldn’t take
you again.:.
.:No. He’ll just take us both! No!
If he comes, let him have me! I couldn’t bear to know that something happened
to you because of me. You should get out of here and leave me to my fate!
Louis, go!:.
He clamped down hard and refused to budge when Lestat tried to squirm out of his arms. By all rights, Lestat should have been able to break the hold easily, but for some reason he was either unable or unwilling to free himself.
.:I’m not leaving you. We’re part of each
other now and we will face everything together, Lestat. If you try to leave me,
you’ll break both of us.:.
.:No… won’t hurt you, Louis. Never
mean to hurt you…:.
.:I know, Lestat. I know.:.
There was no need to bring up the pain of the past, the betrayals and lies. They’d both committed terrible crimes against the other, and he had no right to accuse Lestat of things he himself was guilty of doing.
.:Let’s get back into bed, Lestat. It’s cold
here on the floor.:.
.:Louis. Louis. How could you have
done this to yourself, Louis? You’ve condemned yourself, don’t you know that?:.
.:I was already condemned, Lestat. But if I am to be damned, I would rather be damned with you than without you. Come, let’s get back into bed. You’re shivering,:. he said, trying to change the subject.
.:I don’t feel the cold anymore, Louis.:.
.:Does that mean you can’t
appreciate being warm then?:.
.:No.:.
.:Then why don’t we get back into
bed.:.
.:Alright then, but only because you want to,:. Lestat replied a little petulantly. The half-whine made him smile though, because it reminded him of how Lestat ought to sound.
With Louis’s help, Lestat rose unsteadily to his feet and allowed himself to be guided back to the bed. It wasn’t until they were both settled under the covers that Louis thought to check on the whereabouts of David and Marius, and he was glad to discover that neither were still in the building.
‘Good, they honored my request then,’ he thought with relief.
Dealing with them and Lestat would have been too much. As it was he was only beginning to understand what the healer meant by his taking up Lestat’s pain and anguish when they became bonded. When Lestat was panicking, he’d felt it in his own chest, and it had been an effort not to get caught up in it. Thankfully, he had managed to keep himself calm and focused, but doing so had exhausted him.
The hunger was nagging at him again, but he tried to ignore it. He knew that he needed to feed, but that wasn’t an option so he would just do the best he could. Lestat was only just starting to really relax and he didn’t want anything to interfere. Hopefully, Lestat would sleep again and give Louis some time to recoup his energy.
.:I’m sorry. You’re going hungry because of me,:. he heard Lestat say sadly.
.:I’ll be fine, Lestat.:.
A hand traced the planes of his chest, touching the taut and gaunt skin stretched thin over his bones, before traveling up to feel his sunken cheeks.
.:You’re half starved.:.
.:I’ve gone longer, you know I have.
I went four nights without blood while you were with Akasha. And afterwards,
when you were so traumatized from her death and holed up in one of the lower
rooms, I would have gone longer if Armand had not forced me to go out with him
and Daniel.:.
There was silence but he could feel Lestat doing something. It was an odd feeling, like a tingling that crawled up his limbs and he was just about to ask Lestat what was going on when he heard the scrabbling in the walls.
‘Rats…’ he realized with a gasp.
.:I’ve called them for you, Louis.:.
He knew that Lestat had not meant it to hurt him. Before, he would have assumed that his maker had called the rats to taunt him or degrade him, but now that they were connected he could feel only Lestat’s genuine worry. Lestat knew Louis would not leave, and he knew he would not kill a mortal in the same room where they slept (let alone kill in front of Lestat) so Lestat had chosen something he thought Louis would kill: the rats. They wouldn’t satisfy him, but they would feed him and ease his hunger. He debated whether or not to accept the gift or gently tell Lestat that he simply wasn’t desperate enough to eat rats. In the end he didn’t have to say anything because Lestat already knew.
.:You don’t want them,:. his maker said without offense or upset, as if it was a mere observation.
Would he ever get used to Lestat being able to read his thoughts and feel his emotions? He took Lestat’s hand in his and held it over his heart.
.:Non, Lestat. But I thank you for
your thoughtfulness.:.
The tingling ceased as did the scrabbling and he knew that Lestat had stopped calling the rodents.
.:You’ll feed tomorrow, promise me?:. Lestat asked.
.:Oui. I promise.:.
.:Alright then.:.
.:Try to sleep, Lestat. We’re both
very tired.:.
.:Yes.:.
Lestat’s arms came around him and drew him close as he tucked his maker’s head under his chin. It was so comfortable in each others arms and for a moment Louis could pretend that none of the horror of the last ten years had ever happened. Almost. But it was a nice dream.
He held onto it as Lestat fell asleep and he followed shortly thereafter.