Author's Note: This is rather silly, but bear with me, it has a happy ending. ^_~ And many thanks to Ozfille and Lady DarkRose, for without them this spec would surely never have been thought of, much less written. :p

Also, I started this for last week's challenge on Contre la Montre, which was to have at least three scenes, where the last word of the first scene is the first word of the next scene, and so on, with the final word being the first word of the story. I ignored the time limit when it became obvious that I wasn't going to have it done by last Sunday. :p

David/Louis, Merrick/David/Louis, Louis/Lestat. Rated NC-17. MW7.

"The Magical Mammary Tour"

by Grace

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"God, David!" Louis stood stock still for a moment before slamming the door. He couldn't believe he had just walked in on the man like that. David had called his name as he walked by, and so he'd assumed...well, he hadn't even thought about it at all, he'd just opened the door to see what David had wanted.

Louis certainly hadn't expected to see him standing there, toweling his hair, wearing nothing but a robe. A robe that hung open, leaving nothing to the imagination.

He should leave now. Go out and hunt, or something. He should. But instead he just stood there, his hand still on the knob, unable to get the image of David out of his head. It was almost too easy to forget that not so long ago David had been a wrinkled old man.

"I, I'm sorry, David. I shouldn't have..." He hesitated. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." Louis felt the knob turn under his hand and then they were face to face.

David had closed his robe, but it was tied rather sloppily and still hung open to the waist, revealing his tanned chest. Louis couldn't seem to tear his eyes away.

"What," he began, composing himself, "what did you want of me?"

"I wanted..." David took a step forward and, grabbing Louis' wrists and holding them above his head, he pinned the weaker vampire to the wall with his body. "This."

Louis struggled vainly, but he knew he stood no chance of escaping David's grasp. He was just too weak.

"I know you want it, too, Louis," David whispered in his ear.

He started to protest, but David just smirked and pressed closer, grinding his erection against Louis' own. David's lips brushed his and Louis moaned, giving up all pretense and throwing himself into the kiss.

Louis' clothes were in a pile on the floor when the doorbell rang. They tried to ignore it, but whoever it was, was nothing if not persistent.

"Maybe we'd better get the door," Louis suggested.

David frowned, but released Louis and retied his robe. "I'll get it." His eyes lingered on Louis, taking in his tousled hair and slightly unfocused eyes. "I won't be long."

Once David had left the room, Louis sank back against the wall trembling. 'What have I done?' He thought. 'Lestat will kill me if he finds out. I can't let this continue.'

Sighing, he pulled on his jeans, picked up his shirt and sweater, and finished dressing on the way downstairs. Wavering between relief and disappointment at the interruption, he wondered who would be calling on them.

When he reached the foyer, he was surprised to find David sprawled on the floor, apparently out cold. "David!" He cried, dashing to his side. "What happened?"

He grabbed David's shoulders and shook him lightly, but there was no response.

"You must be Louis," said a female voice.

Louis looked up and the last thing he saw was a pair of strangely hypnotic breasts.


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Breasts. Why had he never noticed their allure before? They bobbed up and down tantalizingly under the sheer fabric of her shirt.

Who was she? Did it matter? She was talking; he could hear her voice, but it sounded as if it were coming from somewhere far away. He was also vaguely aware of David on the floor next to him, starting to come to, but that, too, was only peripheral. The breasts were what mattered.

Her voice was louder now, and then suddenly the breasts were gone! Louis shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. The woman had her arms crossed firmly over her chest and was looking at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry? Who are you?" Now that he could think again, this whole situation seemed very strange.

"My name is Merrick Mayfair," she said. "I'm an old friend of David's."

Just then, David groaned and sat up. "What happened?" He asked Louis.

"I don't know. I came down here and found you passed out and this woman standing over you..."

Both men looked up at Merrick, their eyes glazing over as she uncrossed her arms, unleashing the hypnotic power of her breasts. She held out her hands to help them up, saying, "I have plans for you two."


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Two weeks later, the three vampires were deep within the jungles of the Amazon. Yes, the three vampires.

With Louis and David under her power, Merrick's first act had been to convince Louis to give her the Dark Gift. It hadn't been hard; he did whatever the breasts told him.

She had been excited, because she had more than a little bit of a crush on Louis, but afterwards she realized that perhaps it would have been better if David had been her maker. She'd be stronger, plus there wouldn't be the nasty matter of the veil between her and Louis.

It was easy enough to convince David to give her some of his more powerful blood; he did whatever the breasts told him to, as well. In fact, he was all over her before she even suggested anything. Not like when she'd been a young Talamascan novice with a thing for older men. He hadn't even looked at her twice back then.

Well things were different now. She had two drop dead gorgeous men falling over themselves to do her bidding. At first they'd tended to wander off confusedly whenever they lost sight of her breasts, but then she'd discovered that she could charge them up, so to speak, by having them stare at the breasts for a few hours at a time. It didn't last long, so she had to keep a close watch on them, but they were both so easy on the eyes - especially Louis - that it was hardly a hardship.

Merrick was currently overseeing the construction of a temple in her honor. David and Louis had hauled stones from the nearby ruins and were fashioning them into a breast-shaped altar.

Glancing at her watch, she noted that it was nearing time to give her boys another dose of that voodoo that she do. She called Louis over first. He was so much easier to control, being so weak, and she was always careful to make sure that no matter what they did, he never drank from her or David. The last thing she wanted was for him to get free and run tattling back to Lestat. As it was, she was on constant lookout for the Brat Prince, but so far there'd been no sign of him. If she was lucky, he'd fall in love with someone new and forget all about his old fledglings.

Merrick smiled as Louis grabbed her around the waist and kissed her (although she wished he wasn't quite so glassy-eyed and robotic) and she sighed contentedly as he said her name (though she did wish he would talk to her face for once, and not her chest) and murmured those three little words: "I love you."


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"You bastard!"

Louis' eyes snap open and - taking in the scene as well as he can while being strangled by a half-asleep vampire, and still being more asleep than awake himself - he lashes out, his fist connecting with my jaw hard enough to throw me off him.

"You're insane, Lestat," he mutters, rolling onto his side and burrowing into the blankets.

Needless to say, I am more than a little disoriented.

I look around. This is definitely our bedroom, not the Amazon, and there's no sign of any other vampires, certainly none of the female persuasion. And - I touch my jaw gingerly - Louis is definitely not weak.

"Louis," I say, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him. "You don't know anyone named Merrick, do you?"

He cracks an eye open and glares at me balefully. "It's the title of that book."

"Book? No, look, you were with David - David! - and, and," my fingers tighten on his shoulder as I become more and more agitated, "you were kissing him!"

He sighs, realizing sleep is no longer an option. Prying my hand away, he switches sides so he's facing me. "Why," he scoots closer, pressing his knee between my legs, "the hell," each word is punctuated by a kiss, "would I kiss David?"

I can't answer that because the parts of my brain that control speech and coherent thought appear to have shut down.

He shoves me onto my back and settles himself between my thighs. Moving from my mouth along my jaw and down my neck, his tongue traces the furiously pulsing vein, scraping lightly with his teeth. Teasing.

"No David?" I somehow manage to squeak.

"No David." His fangs pierce me and I feel the heady rush of my blood leaving my body. It's only for a few seconds, though, and then he's moving lower, his lips leaving a bloody trail across my chest.

I try to remember why I was so upset. "And there...there was a woma- ah!" I gasp as he reaches down and curls his hand around my erection. "And breasts..."

He laughs, his breath ghosting over the head of my cock, his lips just millimeters away. He moves back as I buck up, and he says, "Yes, women do tend to have them."

"Huh?"

"Breasts," he laughs again and pushes my legs up.

"No, you were-"

"Shut up, Lestat."

There's a sharp sting as he drags his fangs down the length of my cock, laying open a vein and oh God, I'm this close to coming.

The blood is hot, running over my balls and into the cleft of my ass, and he follows it down, licking and sucking. His hands are splayed out on the backs of my thighs, holding my legs apart as he fucks me with his tongue and he's so.good.

"Fuck! God, Louis."

Now his tongue is gone and he's pushing my leg up higher, pressing my knee to my chest. His cock slides against my ass, slick with blood, and then he's inside me, thrusting roughly.

His eyes are burning into me and his kisses are like fire, but I'm drowning, losing myself in him.

I quicken my strokes and within seconds I'm coming, crying his name, hot blood splashing across my chest. He shudders and comes soon after, collapsing on top of me. I can feel his heart hammering against his chest, echoing my own.

Eventually he rolls off and, stretching languidly, he says, "It was just a nightmare, Stat."

I press my face into his hair, running my fangs down his neck. "Thank God."

The End.