I don't own these fine fellows. Nor do I own Armand and Daniel. Special thanks to the Righteous Brothers and that effervescent Tom Cruise. (no money)

I found my mother’s Very Best of Righteous Brothers CD and decided this would make a great “Song Fic” except it’s a spoof… don’t get me wrong I like those tons, but this just had to be done.


You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips
And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips
You’re trying hard not to show it
But baby, baby I know it

You’ve lost that lovin feelin
Whoa that lovin feelin
You’ve lost that lovin feelin
Now it’s gone, gone, gone
Whoa

Now there’s no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you
And now you’re starting to criticize little things I do
It makes me just feel like crying
Cuz baby, something beautiful’s dying!

You’ve lost that lovin feelin
Whoa that lovin feelin
You’ve lost that lovin feelin
Now it’s gone, gone, gone
Whoa

Baby baby, I get down on my knees for you
If you would only love me like you used to do
We had a love you don’t find every day
So don’t let it slip away

Baby I beg you please
I need your love
And bring it on back

Bring back that lovin feelin
Whoa that lovin feelin
Bring back that lovin feelin
Cuz it’s gone, gone, gone
And I can’t go on
Whoa

It’s over between me and Armand. Not officially, but I know it is. He doesn’t even close his eyes when he kisses me anymore. He criticizes me constantly. He doesn’t whip me with the same emotion. We’re just sick of each other, I guess. He liked how I was mortal. Now I’m not and he’s lost his fascination.

It’s fine by me. I can make it on my own. But I refuse to be the one who does the leaving. I’m going to make him leave. There was never any innocence for us, there was never any springtime. There was never any chance, no matter how beautiful the twilight gardens in which we wandered. Our souls were out of tune, our desires crossed and our resentments too common and too well watered for the final flowering.

(borrowed from The Vampire Armband)

Anyway I’m going to make him see that there’s nothing else here. I’m going to make him realize he’s driving us apart.

I have a plan.

I have purchased a Righteous Brothers CD and the wonderful film Top Gun.

“Hey Armand, will you watch this new movie with me?”
“What is it?”
“Top Gun”
“That’s a love movie, Daniel. You know how I hate those.”
“You used to love them…” I say as I quickly cue up the film. “That is, until…(play) YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVIN’ FEELIN” I sing with Tom Cruise.
“Leave it, Daniel.”
“WHOA THAT LOVIN FEELIN, NOW IT’S GONE, GONE, GONE…”
“Daniel, shut up. Turn that stupid movie off.”

I comply and pull him in for a kiss, as I turn on the stereo with my free hand. Sure enough, his eyes are open.

YOU NEVER CLOSE YOUR EYES ANYMORE WHEN I KISS YOUR LIPS!

He pushes me away.

AND THERE’S NO TENDERNESS LIKE BEFORE IN YOUR FINGERTIPS!

He rolls his eyes and walks out of the room.

“You’re trying hard not to show it, Armand!” I shout over the music. “But baby, baby I know it!”

He’s locked himself in his soundproof room, so I turn off the music, laughing to myself. This is going better than I thought it would.


The next night I’m waiting, stereo paused precisely where I need it, when he comes out of his room. He is acting as if nothing has happened. Play.

YOU’RE TRYING HARD NOT TO SHOW IT

“My God, Daniel, won’t you leave that song alone!”

“BUT BABY,” I sing, “BABY I KNOW IT!”

“I’ve asked you nicely, Daniel. Please stop playing that song.”

“Why, Armand? You scared I’ll notice that you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’?”

“I have *not* lost that lovin’ feelin!”

“Have too! It’s GONE, GONE, GONE. WHOA.”

I stand up and pull him into my arms. He glares at me but allows it, hoping to prove that he has not lost that lovin’ feelin’.

“THERE’S NO WELCOME LOOK IN YOUR EYES WHEN I REACH FOR YOU.”

“You want a welcome look, Daniel? You want me to bat my Botticelli angel eyelashes?”

“AND YOU’RE STARTING TO CRITICIZE EVERYTHING I DO!”

“I don’t criticize you! I’m just trying to teach you good manners!”

“IT MAKES ME JUST FEEL LIKE CRYIN- CUZ BABY, SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL’S DYIN!”

“Daniel, you’re being very melodramatic.” I sing through the chorus again as he tries to quiet me with caresses and kisses without real emotion. Then I kneel down before him.

“BABY BABY, I GET DOWN ON MY KNEES FOR YOU.”

“Are you going to give me a Scooby Snack?”

“IF YOU WOULD ONLY LOVE ME LIKE YOU USED TO DO”

“So you want me to give you a Scooby Snack? I think we’re in the wrong position.”

Rolling my eyes at his perversion I stand up. “WE HAD A LOVE, A LOVE, A LOVE YOU DON’T FIND EVERY DAY- SO DON’T, DON’T, DON’T, DON’T LET IT SLIP AWAY!”

“Daniel, stop this! Our love is not ending! Our love is eternal!”

“You know I’m right! It’s gone, gone, gone.”

“Fine! If you’re so convinced that our love is over I’m ending it right now!” He goes to his room to collect his things.

“BRING IT ON BACK!”

“No! I’m leaving you Daniel! You were right all along, I have lost that lovin feelin! It’s over!”

Armand is gone. I pick up the phone.

“Hello Jesse? I got him out. Come on over.”