Disclaimer: Gomen Nasai to whoever really owns Bishoujo Seishi Sailor Moon, I really hope that you don't sue this poor little minor...
Spoilers: Er... Basics, really. All, I guess.
For list of what the diff. little brackets mean, check the intro...
AnimExplosion!
Episode one:
Bishounen Seishi Vampire Moon
>Fifty-six second opening theme; permanent black background with cresent moon and assorted handfulls of stars. (For anyone who's actually heard the English/ language of your major, just switch all female pronouns to male ;) .) Five very beautiful young men are on screen at the end, each wearing a tri-colored unitard ;) with boots and gloves and the usual superhero stuff, sans cape.<
[CRASH] >'Sailor Moon' accidentally falls over, unable to balance on the invisible platform that they have to stand on, and knocks into 'Sailor Mars'. The two start duking it out, and the other Seishi SD* and Sweatdrop*.<
Bishounen Seishi Vampire Moon:
Good King, Bad King.
>Scene opens up on a peaceful looking temple, with the crescent moon high above.<
[Standard peaceful night time sounds]
>Pan in on a brightly lit room, with five (very beautiful) 'young' men in it.
Armand: LESTAT!!!
Lestat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
>Louis, Daniel, and David Sweatdrop.<
Mojo: >Has a crescent moon on forehead, BTW< Will you two stop that at once?!
>Armand and Lestat Sweatdrop, David sips some blood/tea/strange combo of the two.<
Louis: >to Daniel< Are they like this quite often?
Daniel: >is reading a manga*< Yep.
[Fighting noises between Armand and Lestat, various shouts of obscenities...]
Mojo: ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
>All five SD and Sweatdrop.<
Lestat: >has his blonde hair in two, stupid looking pigtails< It's not my fault, he started it! >Points at Armand, who has a broom raised up as if to nail him with it.<
Armand: >Sends the broom off into that space where Anime characters hide all their neat equipment.< Did not, you did! Since when was it my idea to bring over five or six drunks, just 'to see what would happen'?!
Mojo: I said ENOUGH ALREADY! We've located the Evil Qu...er, King. Everybody, come on, let's go take he... um... him down!
>Several of the Seishi give Mojo odd looks, as the canine Sweatdrops.<
~What's with the verbal misunderstandings?~ David calmly asked.
~They suddenly changed the cast on me, and I haven't had time to fully adjust.~ The dog glared at him, though he shrugged it off.
Lestat: Well, what are we waiting for?! Moon Blood Power!
Louis: Venus Blood Power!
David: Mercury Blood Power!
Daniel: Jupiter Blood Power!
>Forty-five second transformation scene, cut between the seishi and Sailor Moon.<
Sailor Venus: >Is wearing a yellow, black, and white unitard w/boots and gloves.< Hey, wait a second...
Sailor Mercury: >Is wearing a blue, black, and white unitard w/boots and gloves.< Something's missing.
Sailor Jupiter: >Is wearing a green, black, and white unitard w/boots and gloves.< Armand...
Armand: >Looks very nervously at the others.< I don't really want to do this... >Frowns at the Power Stick.< Remember what happened last time I used it?
Sailor Moon: >Laughs very loudly.< Yeah! Your hair caught on fire, and we had to put it out!
Armand: >Shoots dagger eyes at Lestat.< It's not my fault I got the dangerous one!
Sailor Mercury: There, there, this time, I'm all ready to Shabon Spray it out. Okay?
Sailor Jupiter: Come on, Armand, we gotta get a move on here, sometime today!
Armand: Oh, all right. >Sighs heavily< Mars Blood Power! >Fifteen second transformation scene, ends up in red, black, and white unitard w/boots and gloves.<
Sailor Venus: See? Was it that bad?
Sailor Mars: YES!!!
Sailor Venus: Oh. Sorry.
Sailor Moon: >Still laughing.<
Sailor Mars: LESTAT!!! KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY! Just because _YOU_ don't have to worry about getting torched when you--
Mojo: [LOUD BARK] We need to get going here!
Sailors: Yes sir...
*SD-Super Deform: When characters go all little and cute
*Sweatdrop: When characters get really embarresed, a little sweatdrop appears on the side of their face/head
*Manga: Japanese comic book. Tend to be a little longer that English ones...
Episode Two: Ah! Vampire-sama!
>Lestat de Lioncourt sits in his infamous pout by the telephone, glaring at the machine omniously.<
Lestat: Dammit, you'd think the old geezers could get an answering machine or something, and not leave me here to take their stupid messages...
>An image of the Children of the Millenium pops up in the corner, all laughing at him.<
[Stomach gurgle} >Lestat looks at his stomach, giving it the same glare as the telephone.<
Lestat:They could've at least let me eat, first! Oh well, better order take out. >Leafs through several brochures, wondering which kind of delivery boy tastes the best.<
[Touch tone dialing]
Lestat: Hello, Wong's Wak? I-
Machine: Welcome to Wong's Wak. Our Buisness hours are from ten am, to ten pm. Please call during these times if you would like to place an order.
Lestat: Aww, rats. [Click.} What about pizza? {Touch tone dialing}
Machine: Welcome to Pizzeria Pagoda! Our Buisness hours are from ten am, to ten pm. Please call durning these times if you would like to place an order.
Lestat: Do all these places have the same machines?! [Click] All right, I'm desprete. I'll go for...>shudder< Spanish. >Whimpers at the thought of all that spicy blood...<
[Touch tone dialing]
Voice: You have reached the Goddess help-line. One of our consultants will be with you right away. Thank you for your support. Have a nice evening!
[Click}
Lestat: >leans against the mirror/wall behind him.< What the hell was that?
>A black hared head pops out of the mirror, and cheerful green eyes greet his exhausted gaze.<
Mirror/head: Konbanwa!
Lestat: >Looks up, freaks, scrambles to the other side of the room.< AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mirror/head: >Steps out of the mirror, revealing a sharply dressed young man. White skin, black shirt, black pants, black shoes, you get the idea...< Please don't scream like that, Monsiur-sama. You might loose your voice.
Lestat: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
Mirror/person: I'm Louis, your goddess consultant.
Lestat: Goddess? >Notes the three green marks on Louis' face.< I thought goddesses were girls.
Louis: >FaceFault*, Sweatdrop.< Usually, we are, but I'm a specialist. I'm here to grant you a wish.
Lestat: A wish?
Louis: Yes, a wish. Anything your heart desires.
Lestat:>Thinking< Well, I've got power, I've got money, I'm drop-dead gorgeous, what more could I want? IGOTIT! >Enlightened look.<
Louis: Have you decided on a wish so quickly?
Lestat: I have. None of my fledglings stay with me too long, or end up dead for some reason... So I want you to stay with me... forever!
Louis: >Blinks< Nani*?
Lestat: Er, well, you see...
Louis:>Bright light comes from the mark in the center of his forehead, shooting directly up to the sky. Several objects began floating around the room, and not because Lestat made them. The light fades, and everything settles back into place.< I have good news. Your request has been granted.
Lestat: You're going to stay with me... forever?
Louis: >nods< Well, as long as Kami-sama* permits.
Lestat: ALL RIGHT! >Jumps up with glee, hits his head on the ceiling.< Ow...
Louis: There, there, you shouldn't leap about like that, not with such a low ceiling...
Chibi* Armand/Skuld and Daniel/Urd pop up in the corners: Ja ne, the author asks for you to respond!
AnimExplosion!
(Author butting into the story)
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~Telepathy~
[Sound F/X]
(Take Two: Intro)
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Louis: LESTAT!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING WITH NOW?!
Lestat: WHAT?
Louis: I SAID, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING WITH NOW?!
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Lestat: WHAT?
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Louis: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW?!
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Lestat: Mon Dieu, Louis, you don't have to shout...
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Louis: Lestaaaaaaat!
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Lestat: Er, cherie, would you like to watch... er... Armand, what is this one?
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Armand, still SD: Vampire Princess Miyu.
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Daniel: What are you doing, Jo-chan?
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Lestat: Stop insulting my dog, D-boy!
Louis: Don't yell at Daniel!
Armand: No, Mojo, don't chew on that--
[EXTREMELY LARGE EXPLOSION HERE]
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