I have to Praise you..
Addie, May 2000
 

Disclaimers: All the characters belong to Anne Rice and Co.. This is only
for fun, and not for profit of any kind.

Warning: Unashamedly romantic spec.
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"We've come a long, long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should."

'Fat Boy Slim'
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Lestat:-

Louis had slunk off again tonight barely saying a word to me. He was
wearing the most dreadful thread bare clothes, his hair was dishevelled and
he had a scowl on his normally sweet face.

"Where are you off to?" I had said to him. Politely, I thought, but he
didn't even answer me.

I followed him, at a distance of course. He walked at a quick pace along
the boulevard and into the park. Then continued until he came to a darkened
corner where not even the moonlight penetrated. My curiosity was piqued. I
hid behind a large oak tree and watched, half expecting him to be meeting
someone.

I heard a noise behind me and saw a squirrel scratching at the tree. I
shooed it away. With surprise I watched as it scurried quickly up to where
Louis was sitting and rested just a few feet away, watching him intently.
Louis was like a statue, not moving a muscle, his head was bowed. Then I
heard it, a soft whimpering sound, that at first I thought was coming from
some other furry night creature.

It was Louis crying, his soft sobs disturbed the silence deep in this
thicket. I nearly went over to him, but didn't want to startle him, or let
him realise I had been spying on him.

I heard a sigh and realised it was coming from me, I had been holding my
breath. His sobbing became louder and now I could hear him talking to
himself.

"What's the point. I wish I had the guts to do it. How can I keep going?
He doesn't care. It's like I don't even exist. I might as well end it all
now."

Its at times like these I wished so hard that I could read his mind. I
wasn't quite sure what he was talking about. Who doesn't care? Does he mean
me? End what? His life? Oh God, what am *I* going to do?

I heard a hissing sound and saw him scoop the squirrel into his hands, sink
his fangs in and begin to drink.

*Oh Louis, what has brought you to this? Drinking from animals again,
slinking about in the dark.*

I watched until he had finished, then he flung the poor creature away and
lifted his hands to his face weeping bitter tears. His whole body was
shaking. I couldn't stay and watch, it hurt me to the quick to see him like
this. I crept silently away, his sobs echoing in my ears, breaking my
heart.

David was reading the 'Times' when I came back in and he greeted me as usual
with a warm smile.

"Has Louis been his normal self lately, David?"

David looked up at me, his expression that of a scholar who was slightly
annoyed at being disturbed."

"What do you mean? He's always moody and quiet."

"Are you sure?" I pressed him, standing close now and resting my hand on his
paper stopping him from turning the page. He was looking at me now with an
exasperated expression on his face.

"Lestat, I was reading an article, take your hand off please."

"Has he seemed particularly sad lately?" I asked him.

"Well, now that you mention it. Yes, he has been extra quiet lately, and I
think I heard him crying the other evening. But you know Louis, he wouldn't
say anything to me if something was upsetting him."

"No, that's what I'm worried about. He won't say anything to me either."

David just shrugged his shoulders and pushed my hand away so he could
continue his reading. I left him alone, sat down on the couch, turned the
T.V. on full volume and began watching some music videos. All the time I
kept remembering the sound of Louis' soft weeping and pictured his body
trembling. He had seemed so alone, so lonely... What could I do?

I awoke with a start and realised I had dozed off while watching the early
morning repeats. It was nearly dawn and Louis hadn't returned yet. I
looked up to see that David was preparing to retire for the day.

"Have you seen him? I said.

"No, sorry."

"Well I'm getting worried." I replied.

David screwed up his face for a second or two, then said urgently.

"Lestat, he's still out in the park, I just heard his cry for help."

"What? Are you sure?" I didn't wait for an answer but just ran as fast as
I could back to the park. I was desperate, it was nearly dawn.

I barely noticed the few mortals who were scurrying about at this time of
the morning as I sped at a frantic pace trying to find him. It was getting
very light and even I was beginning to feel woozy. I shouted his name
loudly startling a flock of birds. They flapped away from me, momentarily
blocking out the sun. I put my hands to my face to cover my eyes; they
were beginning to burn.

"Louis!" I cried one more time. I was just about to flee when I saw a shape
writhing on the ground a hundred feet away. In a vampiric flash I was at
his side. *Please let it just be a drunk mortal sleeping off a hangover* I
thought to myself.

I touched the body, it was burning hot, I turned it over onto its back. It
was him... asleep, his skin was beginning to burn. I laid down on top of
him instinctively trying to provide some small amount of protection from the
morning's rays.

"Louis, Louis." I cried. Quickly glancing around us I realised there was
no shelter within close proximity, so in desperation I dug into the hard
earth and pulled him down with me into our makeshift grave.

Chapter 2

I awoke before him, the soft earth cloying at my skin, filling my mouth and
blinding me. I scrabbled and scratched, digging myself out, bringing him up
to the surface with me. I sat on the grass and stared at him, still
sleeping so peacefully. His face and hands were bright red where he had
been burnt and I pulled his shirt up. He was bright red all over his chest
and would be in pain for a few days.

I disturbed his sleep as I pulled his top back down and he moaned as little
as he opened his eyes. Coughing and brushing the dirt out of his eyes and
ears and shaking his head he sat up and looked at me.

"What's going on? Why am I covered in dirt? You did this, didn't you?"
His eyes were dark with anger and he was backing away from me.

"What did you expect me to do? You were dying, Louis."

"I can't even do that without *you* interfering*." he snarled and stood up,
wincing with the pain of his burns.

"Louis, please, don't go. What was I supposed to do? How was I to know that
you didn't just get caught accidentally?"

"I'm capable of looking after myself, Lestat." he spat venomously at me.
"I'm not a child and I'm not your property."

He stumbled away from me, glancing back every second or two as if he were
daring me to follow him. I did. He lashed out at me again. "Stay away from
me. If I want to kill myself it's none of your business."

"I'm sorry, Louis. It's just that...it's..."

"What?" he screamed at me. "It's what?"

"I love you."

He stared at me as if I had hit him across the face, then tears began to
well in his eyes.

"Please, Louis, let's talk. Come somewhere warm, get cleaned up and we'll
talk."

"What's the point? You never listen to me anyway." he growled and took off
before I could catch him. He disappeared into the trees.

I stood staring at the spot where he had been standing for several seconds,
as though I was rooted to the spot. My hands were shaking when I brought
them up to my forehead to brush a stray hair out of my eyes.

"Dam you, Louis." I swore under my breath. "What can I do to help you?"

As I walked back home to our apartment, I saw David. He seemed very pleased
to see me.

"Is Louis all right?"

"As good as he can be, David. He'll be a little sore for a while, but he's
alive."

"Good, I'm glad. I was very worried about you both. But I could still feel
Louis, so I knew he was alive. Did he need your help?"

"Oui, he did, but I'm not sure that he wanted to be saved." I said sadly.

David shook his head. "I'm sure that's not the case, Lestat."

"He nearly did it, David. He nearly died out there in the park. What's
wrong with him?" What can I do to help him?"

"You know what to do, Lestat. He craves your attention and your love."

I nodded.

................the next evening.

Louis hadn't returned to our apartment, but I had David and Armand scan for
him and they reassured me he was still alive. On Armand's directions I
found him in a run down house a few streets away from home. I waited
outside for him to venture out for his nightly feed. He looked forlorn and
broken as he wandered up the street, he hadn't even brushed his hair. I
leapt out in front of him, holding out a rose with a note attached to it.

"What's this?" he said sullenly.

"Just read it please, Louis," I said to him and turned and walked away,
leaving him looking bewildered.

All the note had said was to come to our apartment tomorrow night at 9 p.m.
I hoped he would.

Chapter 3

I was ready for him. The apartment was filled with candles, sweet smelling
incense was wafting through the air that was warmed by the open fire and a
CD was playing soft romantic music .

I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was sparkling clean, brushed back
neatly and tied with a black velvet ribbon. My suit was the latest Armani,
sleek black silk. I had donned a red collarless shirt and to top it off the
gold chain Louis had given me when I had finally awoken from my coma.

I was nervous. My hands were sweating and shaking. I felt like this was
our first date. Perhaps in a way it was. I certainly hoped it wouldn't be
our last.

One more cursive glance around the apartment told me that everything was
ready. Red and white roses adorned the corner cupboard, lilies filled the
vase on the coffee table. I had wrapped several small gifts for him. One
was a leather bound, collectors edition of love sonnets by Keats and
Shelley, one was a tiny emerald stud for his ear and the other...

He was at the door.

Nervously I walked up to it, hesitating for a few seconds. I could see his
reflection through the glass, his head was cocked to the side patiently
waiting for me to open it. He had his own key. I wondered what had made
him knock?

With a creak the door opened and he took my breath away. He was dressed in
velvet pants of dark, navy blue, they were crinkled and soft. I longed to
reach out and touch them. His shirt was cream silk, clinging to his lightly
muscled chest, and around his neck was a sparkling silver chain. He looked
like he had a tan, his skin was a golden colour, all the red having faded
already. His hair cascaded delicately to his shoulders brushed and clean,
for the first time in weeks. He smelled deliciously of soap, shampoo and a
musty cologne.

"Are you going to invite me in?" he said shyly.

"Oui, of course, sorry." I mumbled and taking him by the arm led him into
the living room.

I heard him sigh softly when he saw the candle light reflecting in the
ornate mirror over the mantle, and he breathed in the aroma of the incense
and flowers.

"Is this for me?" he said surprised.

"Just for you, mon amour." I whispered to him, and lovingly placed a soft
kiss on his cheek.

"Merci." he replied and returned the kiss to my other cheek.

I led him over to the couch and with my mind turned up the music a notch.
It was a romantic tune by Bryan Adams, "Everything I do I do it for you."

"I didn't think you liked that type of music, Lestat." he said bemused, a
small smile starting to appear on his face.

"But you do, Louis." I replied.

"Merci again." he said softly.

"Louis." I began seriously now. "You won't try and kill yourself again will
you? I mean, I couldn't stand being in this world without you. I was
serious before when I said I love you. Do you believe me?"

"One question at a time, Lestat." he said, grabbing my right hand now and
holding it between both of his. "Actually, I didn't really try to kill
myself." he said.

"Go on." I said, intrigued by what he was about to say.

"Well...I was thinking about it...it would have been easy. Just wait out in
the park until it was too late to find shelter. I hadn't fed properly for
days so I would have been too weak to dig myself into the ground. But I
couldn't go through with it."

"But Louis, you were writhing about on the ground when I found you. What
happened?"

"I knew you were there, Lestat." He said with an embarrassed expression on
his face.

"Really?" I answered.

"I know that you saw me, and I hoped you would be concerned for me, so I
stayed out a little longer than I would normally. I really just wanted to
see if you would come back to find me."

"Thanks!" I said, becoming a little angry.

"I'm sorry. It all happened on the spur of the moment. It was stupid, I
know. I mean by the time the sun started to rise and I was beginning to
burn, I thought it was all over for me. The relief I felt when I saw you,
Lestat, was overwhelming."

"Likewise." I said beginning to calm down a little. My anger was being
diffused by his sweet face, his gentle hands touching mine his soft voice.

"Why were you weeping in the woods, then Louis. Was that a ruse as well to
get my attention."

"Non." he said, shaking his head. "Non, Lestat. I was depressed. Lately
you have hardly been talking to me. You never seem to want my company."

"I thought you didn't want mine." I whispered softly.

"We *are* a pair of fools, aren't we." he replied, tears forming in his
verdant green eyes.

"Why then did you act angry and run away from me when I pulled you out of
the ground?"

"I had to be sure that you didn't just save me out of some sort of
obligation. I wanted you to seek me out, make some sort of move that would
give me a clue as to your feelings. I was still not sure until I arrived
tonight and you had gone to so much trouble. You look wonderful by the way"
he added.

" Merci." I said pleased. "Oh, I nearly forgot. I have some gifts for
you."

"Merci. But you didn't have to buy me gifts. I just need you to be with me
sometimes, to feel as though you care about me just a little."

"Oh, mon Louis. I do." I took his face in my hands and kissed his cheeks,
his eyelids, his chin, then brought my mouth up to his and lingered there,
enjoying the taste of him. Sweet blood tears dripped onto my lips and I
licked them eagerly.

Louis pulled me back down onto the couch, put his arms around my shoulders
and held me tightly. I could feel him sobbing and his heart beating
strongly against my chest. We clung to each other, wanting more, but we
were unsure. I felt him wriggle about for a second or two then glanced down
to see him pulling his hair back from his neck.

He was offering himself to me.

"Are you sure, Louis?"

"Absolutely." he replied, and I sunk into his succulent vein. His blood was
warm and piquant, tangy and delicious. His memories, dreams and desires
flooded my mind, and I felt as if I were falling into a gentle abyss, far
away from worries and fears. His whole being enveloped me and I was
suffused with his love. Shuddering and moaning I continue to drink from
him, feeling his hands on my back weakening, feeling the tenuous thread of
communication begin to drift away from me.

I felt it then, a sting, then a gentle drawing of my life's essence flowing
out of me, back to him, my lover, my brother...he was drinking from me.
Startled I pulled away from him. My blood dribbled sensuously down his
chin as he looked worried and confused.

"Louis, is this really what you want?"

"More than I have ever been about anything before." he said and began to
drink from me again.

As we drifted upon clouds of ecstasy and held each other close, I felt
relief...relief that he really did love me, and now he knew for sure that I
loved him in return. Perhaps for a little while any way, we could be happy.

As we pulled our fangs out of each other's throats, I looked into his eyes.
"Louis, I have been neglecting you."

"We've come a long, long way together, through the hard times and the good.
I have to celebrate you Louis, I have to praise you like I should."

The end.