The Practical Joker.
Athena, (Goddess of War) aka Addie
December 2000

Disclaimers:  All the characters in this story belong to Mater, just
borrowing them to have some fun.

Warning:   NC37 content, m/m situations, language, innuendo, bad taste,
slash, retribution, punishment.

Spoilers:  All milky ways.  Author's note.  I simply cannot bring myself to
write this spec with M......k included.  So for all intents and purposes she
does not exist, or has died, or lives in the Antarctic, or on Mars.

****************************************************************************
 

Lestat: (vampire of mayhem)

He had finally scrolled through his in box, deleted all the junk and was
reading David's very formal email, telling him about his latest discoveries
in Maharet's sub basement.  It was boring and he nearly went to sleep
reading about the clay tablet he was deciphering.  In fact twice his head
hit the keyboard with a smack.

The second time it hit the board the words on the screen changed and he
realised he had inadvertently selected another email.   This one had his
eyes wide open and his mouth agape.  Two unknown people were obviously
having a torrid affair over the internet and he squirmed in his seat for a
few minutes as he read how 'honeylamb' was going to kiss 'snuggims' all
over, then suck his cock until he died of ecstasy.  He felt his own organ
tweaking and twitching.  Somehow, snuggims, had sent the email to his box by
mistake.

He thought about writing back with his own version of what he would like
done to him when another, entirely delicious thought entered his bored
brain.  He chuckled loudly to himself, hoping that Louis, who was napping in
front of the television in the next room, wouldn't hear.

He decided he would need to set up another email account, then chose his
victims with glee.  His email went like this:-

To Armand, at nightisland@hotmail.com

Evening Armand,

Its been such a long time since we saw each other.  I think it must have
been at the Sabbat we held to celebrate the new millennium, last year.  That
was a unreal wasn't it?  I felt so alive standing on that podium with you,
in our black robes, our faces painted.  You reminded me of the first time I
saw you in those dark caverns, when you were newly made.
(author's note, this is from my BS "Children of Darkness if you are
wondering)

Armand, I couldn't tell you this to your face, or even on the telephone, but
here it seems I can let you know how I feel.  I miss you.  I missed you when
you first left our coven, and thought I would never see you again.  I
watched you from afar when we came together for that short time after
Akasha, on the night island.  To play chess with you, watching you so serene
across that board from me, was unbearable.  I wanted to touch your slender
white fingers, I wanted to kiss your cold cheeks.  There were just too many
people around; then we were all gone, spread to the corners of the earth
again.

Armand, I hope you don't think I am impertinent, but I long for you.  I want
us to be together again, just for a little while.    Please let me know how
you feel.

Yours eternally,
Santino.

Lestat had a malicious grin on his face when he clicked send.  He wondered
how long it would be, or even if Armand would reply to it.  He was still
snickering when Louis came in and slithered his arms around his neck.
Lestat nearly jumped out of his seat.

"Merde, Lestat.  It's not like you to be so jumpy.  What have you been up
to?  Checking out all the porn sites again, have we?"

"Um...er...yeah, Louis.  Wanna check out a couple with me?  Then we could
try and do the same."

Louis slapped his upper arm playfully and kissed him hard on the lips.
"Non, you know I hate those crude pictures.  Can't you look up something
educational, like when Storm Constantine's new book is being released, or
how my stocks are going?"

"You want something educational, Louis.  Here..." and he clicked on David's
email.  "Read this Louis, if you can stay awake long enough."

2:

Lestat came out the next evening to find Louis asleep under the computer
desk, David's email still open.  He nudged Louis awake with a toe and a
giggle.  "I told you it would be hard to stay awake reading that."

Louis stretched, knocking his head on the leg of the desk and grabbed
Lestat's leg.  "You could have checked up on me." He snarled, with a wince
and a groan.  "That floor is bloody hard, and now my head hurts as well as
my back."

"Sorry, my sweet, but do you mind if I check some other emails?  I'm kinda
waiting for a rather important one."

"Sure, go right ahead.  But just don't inflict another of David's boring
tomes, on me.  OK?"

Lestat grinned at him, kissed both his cheeks, pinched him on the backside
and shoved him out of the room.  Louis growled at him, but a slight smile
crept across his face as he waved goodbye.

Lestat's fingers were almost shaking as he typed in his password and
scrolled down through his in box.  There it was, an email from Armand, he
opened it up quickly...

To Santino -  darkeyes@excite.com

Evening Santino,

You can't tell me what a surprise it was to receive your email.  I had no
idea you felt that way about me.   I'm not sure how to react.  I am
flattered, and must admit that I did enjoy spending time with you last year
at the Sabbat.
It was fun wasn't it?  Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to catch up again.

I have been travelling around quite a bit lately, and have been somewhat
lonely.  I thought about catching up with Lestat, but changed my mind.  We
always seem to end up arguing.  I haven't seen Daniel for months, he's
wandering around the world in a different direction to me, I fear.

When I think back to those idyllic days on the Night Island, I do recall you
looking at me with more than just curiosity.  What a pity we didn't have the
chance to talk, and more perhaps...

Are you in the States?  I am in Milan at the moment, but am intending
returning  in a week or so.  Maybe we could meet up then?

Warm regards
Armand.

Oh, Armand, so formal. Lestat mumbled to himself.  I will have to heat
things up a bit.  Now, let me see...

To Armand  nightisland@hotmail.com

Amadeo,

I hope you don't mind me calling you that?  It's how I remember you.  You
were so young when we first met.  Remember those cold nights in my cell in
Rome, when I would give you lessons on how to be the perfect vampire.   You
would sit at my feet and stare up at me with those lustrous dark pools that
are your eyes.  I shudder when I think of the opportunities we missed.

How we could have enjoyed each other on those dark lonely nights.  Instead
of wandering back to our own coffins, we could have been caressing each
other in the lamp light.  I could have been kissing your soft fledgling lips
and running my fingers through your tangled web of curls.

I sometimes dream of those nights, but in my dreams you come to me,
discarding your rags to lie with me, naked flesh against naked flesh.  Hot
mouth against hot mouth, our fingers exploring our secret places.  Your
blood sluicing down my throat as I pierce your boyish buttocks.  Ah what
dreams they are Amadeo.  Have you ever dreamt of me in the same way?

I am lonely sitting here in my big house.  When you come home would you like
to stay with me?  Perhaps then my dreams might come true.

Yours eternally,
Santino.
 

Lestat was arousing himself and he wished that Louis had not gone out to
feed.  He clicked the send button and crossed his fingers.  He wanted Armand
to get all hot and bothered.   This was so much fun, he wondered why he
hadn't thought of doing it before.  Maybe he could start with David and
Louis.
Perhaps David's next email might be a little more exciting than his last
one.

He began to think up another email address.

3:

Louis came back into the flat, humming softly to himself.  "Lestat, are you
still sitting in front of that damn computer?"

"What...oh Lou...hi.  I haven't been here long."

"Yeah, only three hours." Louis replied with a smirk on his face.  He was
flushed from a recent kill and in an almost jovial mood.

Lestat looked at the clock on the screen and let out a little gasp of
surprise.  "Well so I have.  Its amazing how time flies, when you are
having...."

"Fun!" Louis finished for him, "and what devious fun have you been up to mon
amour?"

"Nothing much, really, " he lied.  "Just checking my latest company
takeovers and catching up with my accountant.  It seems I have made a heap
more money, Louis.  Maybe I should take you out and buy you some new
clothes."

"I don't need any more clothes.  Oh, are there any emails for me, by the
way, I am expecting another one from David.?"

"Um, there is I think, Louis.  But I've just got to check mine first, if
that's OK with you?"

Louis nodded politely then settled himself down in the comfy lounge chair in
the corner and took out a magazine to read.  Lestat clicked on his inbox and
chuckled to himself when he saw another one from Armand to Santino.

To Santo   darkeyes@excite.com

You don't mind if I call you that, do you?  You have surprised me, Santo.
After all these years you still think of me as 'your Amadeo'.   I must
admit, I do remember those months we had together in the coven, with some
warm feelings.  What a shame we both felt we had to deny each other our love
for each other.  I did love you, in a way, Santo.  Although at the time I
think I was more in awe of you.

You were so powerful and in control.  You have no idea how I longed to spend
more time with you then.  To perhaps share your cell in other ways than
taking lessons from you.  I too remember staring into your dark eyes,
wondering what it would be like to caress that firm, masculine body of
yours.  Wondering what it would be like to take you in my arms and drink in
your essence.

Maybe it's not too late, Santo.  Maybe there is still a chance for us.

I will be back in the States in about three days time.  Perhaps we could
make a time to get together.

Yours always
Amadeo

"Ahhhh!  So I have sucked you in, imp.  I wonder what 'Santo'," he giggled
when he said that name out loud, cursing when he remembered that Louis was
in the room,  "would think of all this.  I am sure he would be horrified."

"Are you talking to me, Lestat?" Louis asked him, peering over the top of
his magazine.

"Non, Louis.  Do you want to check your emails now?"

"Oui, could you open up my inbox for me, please."

"Louis, you really should learn to do that yourself, you know." Lestat
chuckled again as he saw the email from David sitting there.  He wanted to
watch Louis' face when he read the email he had sent to his sweet fledgling,
making out it was from David.

"I hope its not too long and boring, Louis.  But this time I will stay here,
just in case you fall asleep again.  I can't have you spending your days on
the floor now, can I?"

Louis snorted under his breath but didn't seem to mind that Lestat was
hovering around behind him.  That is, until he began to read what David had
said.

To Louis  charlesdickens@yahoo.com

How are you, my friend?  I am finding it a little lonely here at Maharet's
at the moment.  Jesse has gone off travelling somewhere, Eric never pops in
any more and Maharet seems just so busy that I find myself ensconced in her
basement entirely by myself for nights on end.

I have been thinking about you.  When I am trying to decipher some ancient
hieroglyphs, instead of seeing their words, I see your verdant eyes, staring
at me with a sensuous lustre.   I am longing to come back to our apartment,
just to greet you with a hug and a kiss to your succulent lips.  Would there
be any way, Louis, that you could get rid of Lestat for a few weeks?
Perhaps send him off on an important errand for you.  Then I could slip home
and we could be together.

Perhaps we could go walking along the river, hand in hand, then listen to
some music at the rotunda.  Afterwards, when we have fed and are warm, we
could share some magic moments together by the fire.  Firelight always
becomes you so.

Let me know, Louis.  I am sure you feel the same way as I do.  I have seen
you looking at me out of the corner of your eye.  Does your heart beat a
little faster when you think of me, as mine does when I picture you, coming
down the stairs in the morning, clad only in your silk pyjamas?

Please reply soon, Louis.  I need to hear from you.

Warmest regards,
David.

Louis was flushing bright red and quickly scanned the message again before
he deleted it.  "Oh my," he thought to himself.  "David.." he sighed, then
turned to see Lestat standing over him.

"Something wrong, Louis?"

4:
Louis turned around to see Lestat leering over his shoulder, with a grin on
his face from ear to ear.  He seemed as excited as a school boy at a fair.

"I just want to send some private emails, Lestat.  If it's all right with
you."

"Of course it is.  Go right ahead.  You do know how to send them properly
don't you?

Louis glared at him for a few seconds, realised he was joking, smiled, then
told him politely to leave.  Lestat went off, smiling to himself.  He would
have a read of Louis' email as soon as he went to bed.  He could hardly wait
to find out what he was going to say to David.  He imagined that Louis would
be terse and politely tell David that he didn't have feelings for him like
that.  Wrong!

He hovered about in the living room for about an hour, half-heartedly
watching television, scanning through the evening papers, and listening to a
CD of classical music.  Louis finally sauntered out of the office, looking
slightly flustered and stopped suddenly in his tracks when he saw Lestat
staring at him.

"What!"

"Have you finished your emailing, Louis?  I have a few more things I need to
do on the computer before I go to bed."

"You are becoming obsessed, Lestat.  I don't think it's very healthy, and
you sling off about me reading books all the time."  Louis hmphed, very
loudly, looked a little sheepish then picked up a book and headed for bed.

Lestat ran into the computer room and clicked open his inbox to find an
email sitting there from Louis to David.   He was almost too nervous to open
it:-

To David   hieroglyph@aol.com

Thank you for your latest email.  I must admit to being a little surprised
at  discovering your deeper feelings for me.  I have always thought of you
more as a brother and a friend, than anything  more intimate.  But I must
admit that I have been missing your eloquent repartee.  I need some
intellectual stimulation sometimes, which is sadly lacking with 'you know
who'.  (Lestat snarled when he read this, and began to grind his teeth.
Which is not a very appropriate pastime for a vampire.  He cut his lip.)

I am sorry that you are lonely at Maharet's. I imagine it would be a very
cold place in which to work.  Perhaps I could manage to send Lestat off on
an errand, as a little time with you by the fire would be most welcome.  We
could discuss my latest foray into Tolstoy, and I have been reading the
autobiography of Orson Wells.  He was a most interesting character.

I would not be adverse, David, to a small amount of intimacy between us, if
that is what you would desire.   I have always found you to be extremely
attractive and am not entirely adverse to partaking in some warm
camaraderie.

Let me know when you can return and I will see what I can do.

Your friend, Louis.

"You little trollop, Louis." Lestat swore at the computer screen.  He felt
like going into Louis' bedroom, ripping his latest book out of his hands and
thrashing his bare backside.  He wanted to hear him whimper, then apologise
for going behind his back.  But then he would be giving the game away.  He
decided he would give him one more chance.  He was sure that Louis wouldn't
let this tryst go too far, especially if David began to come on a bit
stronger.
 

To Louis   charlesdickens@yahoo.com

You have no idea how glad I was to receive your email, Louis.  It warms my
heart to learn that you find me attractive.  I too, am longing for some
intellectual stimulation, and some 'warm camaraderie' as you so politely put
it.

As I sit here typing, in Maharet's stark library, I can almost feel your
soft lips on my neck and your slender hands caressing my back.  I long to
run my fingers through your silky black curls and let my tongue flow the
length of your torso, to find the heated centre of your desire.  I long to
partake in your warm life blood, and to hear your sweet cries as I plunge
into your body.

Louis, I have always found you to be irresistible and so alluring, that I
have sometimes broken out in a cold sweat when you have entered the room.
Your dreamy eyes and lithe muscular body has always sent tremors of lust
through my entire being.

As I sign off now, I want you to know that tonight I will be dreaming of
consummating our desire for each other.  I hope you will be feeling the same
way.

My love,
David.

As Lestat clicked the send button, he wondered if perhaps he had gone too
far.  He knew Louis would be faithful to him.  Well he was almost sure he
would be faithful, and wouldn't take David's email seriously.

Damn it.  I will delete the message as soon as it appears in Louis' inbox,
and he sat for a few minutes waiting for it.  He was just about to open it
up when the power blinked off.  "Oh shit!" he exclaimed.  "I will just have
to make sure I'm the first one at the computer tomorrow evening."

He sighed and fumbled his way up to his bedroom, looking in briefly to say
goodnight to Louis.  Louis was already in bed and he let out a surprised
gasp as Lestat called out to him.  Lestat got the distinct impression that
Louis was doing more under the quilt than scratching himself.

5:

Lestat (vampire of mayhem)

Lestat's eyes shot open as soon as the sun had set and he stumbled out of
his bed, lurching as quickly as he could towards the office and one very
naughty email, that was just waiting to be deleted.  As he approached,
however, he heard ominous tapping.

He peeked around the door and saw Louis typing away, his head bowed, his
brow furrowed, and a slightly wry grin on his face.

"Oh God!" Lestat groaned out loud, only to see a pair of startled green eyes
peering back at him.

"Something wrong, Lestat?"

"Um...no, Louis.  It's just unusual for you to be up before me, that's all."

"Oh, I wake up early sometimes and I wanted to check out my emails before I
went out to feed.  Is there a problem?  You look a little distressed.  Oh
and the computer wasn't turned off properly last night."

Lestat began to pace up and down as Louis tapped away, apparently quite
relaxed.  The grin on his face was widening however, and he quickly closed
what he was working on when Lestat came over to him.  "What are you typing,
Louis?'

"Oh, nothing much.  Just answering a few emails, that's all."

"From anyone interesting?"

"No, not really.  I'm finished now, so you can have the computer if that's
what you want."

Lestat was too nervous to check and see if there was an email to David from
Louis, so he decided to answer the latest one from Armand.

My dearest Amadeo   nightisland@hotmail.com

I am waiting eagerly for your return from overseas, in fact I am counting
the days.  I have decided to visit New Orleans next week, perhaps even catch
up with Lestat and Louis while I am there.  So maybe we could meet up then.
I know a romantic little hotel, where they have very large queen sized beds
with mirrors on the ceiling.  I can make a booking for us if you would like.

Oh, Amadeo, I long for your small body to be under mine, as I make you cry
out in passion and desire.  I want to tangle my hands in your nest of curls
and sink my fangs into your pure white neck.  Be prepared for a night of
unrivalled passion, my little one.

Make sure you feed well before hand, because I want to drain you over and
over as you drain me.  I want to plunder your body and let my tongue lick
every inch of your pale skin.  I shudder when I think of being with you.

Please reply soon, my darling.

Love Santo.

Lestat was  trembling  as he clicked the send button.  Partly with arousal,
partly with fear at what he was doing.  But it was so much fun.  He then
checked his other email address, sure that Louis would have fobbed David off
completely.

Dear David  heiroglyph@aol.com

I am not really quite sure how to reply to your latest email, but suffice to
say I am flattered that you feel that way about me.  I too find you
exceedingly attractive, David.  With your dark eyes and nicely muscled body,
your softly waving hair and sweet smile.

I will arrange for Lestat to take a visit to Marius, whom I believe is in
Rome at the moment.  I will tell him that Marius wants to discuss some
important business with him.  Hopefully I will be able to arrange this in a
couple of days time.  Then I will contact you to come home for a night or
two.

I am eagerly awaiting being able to spend some private and intimate time
with you.  I will make sure there are plenty of candles in the apartment, as
I do feel it makes for a more romantic atmosphere.  What music shall I
procure for our little tryst?  Some Bach maybe, or something more modern,
like Savage Garden?

I will even wear those black silk pyjamas, that you mentioned before.  I do
love the feel of them against my skin.  But I am sure they will not linger
against my body for too long.

Soon,

Love Louis.
 

Lestat was seething and wishing that he had never begun this stupid ruse.
How dare Louis accept David's proposal.  He felt like picking up the
computer and throwing it out the window.  He slammed his hands down and
nearly broke the keyboard then stood up, knocking the chair backwards with
such force that it went right through the wall behind him.

"FUCK!!!  Louis, how could you do this to me?  How could you go behind my
back like this?"

He was in a terrible state and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the
door shut as he went, not even noticing that he had ripped it off its
hinges.  He found a poor demented soul wandering aimlessly and drank him dry
in seconds.  Still not sated, he found a couple of drunks and did likewise.

With a noticeable stagger he wandered back to the apartment to find Louis
sitting on the doorstep, holding a few shards of wood, all that was left of
the door.  He had a strange expression on his face.

"Do you know what happened here?"

"Burglars?" Lestat replied, feebly.

"Non, I don't think so, Lestat.  Did you lose some more money on the stock
market or something?"

'Yeah, something like that."

"I've just received a telephone call from Armand, by the way.  He asked if
he could come and stay with us for a couple of days.  He's arriving tomorrow
night."

"Merde!"

6:

Lestat and Armand sat facing each other, grins on their faces, their minds
shut as tightly as bank vaults.  Armand spoke first, as he stood up and
walked over to the wall that was in a state of repair.

"Hmmmm, looks like something was thrown through this wall, Lestat."

"Oui, it does, doesn't it."  Lestat continued smiling but didn't tell him
what had happened.   Armand shrugged and went back to sit on the couch
beside Lestat.   "It's nice to see you.  Have you heard from Santino
lately?" Armand questioned, with an expectant expression on his face.

"Santino?  Why would he be in contact with us?" Lestat asked, in false
innocence.

"Well, I have been in contact with him lately and he mentioned that he might
come down here for a visit."

 "I haven't heard from him Armand.  But he's welcome to visit if he wants."

"You are sure you haven't heard from him?"

"Absolutely." Lestat replied.

Armand appeared quite crestfallen, and looked longingly at Louis who was
smiling softly at him.   "Could I use your computer, please Lestat?"

"Of course, mon ami, go right ahead."

"Oh, I nearly forgot, Lestat.  Marius telephoned me the other day,  he
wanted to pass on his good wishes to you both.  He also said that he would
like  you to come to Rome for a few days, to visit him. "

"Why didn't he ask me himself?"

"Well, he was in the middle of some important meetings and he told me that
he had lost your telephone number."

"Couldn't he have just sent me a mind message, Armand?"  Lestat answered
him, feeling his mouth going dry.  He had shot a quick glance at Louis who
seemed momentarily mesmerised by the dust on the window sill.

"Well he said you were blocking most incoming signals, but he sent you an
email, I believe."

Lestat watched Armand disappear into the office, then sidled up to Louis,
who was still fingering  the dirt on the sill.  "Louis, leave a note for the
cleaners."

"What?"  Louis looked up  startled and Lestat noticed that he had begun to
blush slightly.

"It seems you are overly worried about this dust, Louis.  I said, leave a
note for the cleaners."

"Oh, oui, of course.  It's good to see Armand again, isn't it?"

"Oui, it is."

"Well are you going to take up Marius's offer to visit him in Rome?"

"Do you want me to go, Louis?"

"Only if you want to."

"Fine, I will." Lestat snarled at Louis, causing him to jump.  "I'll pack my
bags tomorrow."

Lestat stormed out of the apartment, seething.  He had decided that he was
going to make out he was leaving, then  was going to sneak back and spy on
Louis and Armand.  As he was blundering down the street he heard someone
calling his name.  Spinning around he saw Santino standing in the shadows,
leaning against a lamp post, with his arms folded.  He was a picture of
suave evil coupled with sartorial elegance.

"You seem a little agitated, Lestat.  Want to talk about it?"

"What are *you* doing here?" Lestat was momentarily surprised by his
appearance.

"That's not exactly a very friendly way to greet someone you haven't seen in
ages."

"No, I'm sorry, Santino."  Lestat held out his hand and pulled Santino into
him, to kiss him on each cheek.  "Much better," Santino smiled.

"Armand's at my apartment, if you would like to go visit.  I am not in the
mood for talking to either Louis or him at the moment.  In fact I am leaving
for Rome tonight.  So you can stay at our place for a few nights, if you
would like."

"Really?  What's Armand doing here in New Orleans?  I haven't heard from him
for several years."

"Oh you have, Santino, you have." Lestat said slyly, and sauntered off into
the dark.

Two hours later Lestat returned reluctantly to the apartment to pack for his
trip.  He was a little worried about what Santino and Armand's reaction to
his little joke was going to be, but they were not there.  Louis was sitting
quietly on the couch reading, when he entered the living room.  "Where are
our visitors, Louis?"

"Well, you might be very surprised, Lestat, but they seemed extremely
pleased to see each other.  They are going to be staying in a Hotel in the
city for a few nights, I believe."

"What?"

'Why are you so surprised, Lestat.?"

"Oh, no reason.  I'm going to pack now, Louis.  I've decided to head off
tonight.  No sense in wasting time."

"Fine,  I think some time with Marius will be good for you.   You need a
holiday."

"Do I?"

"Oui!"

Lestat hmmmphed loudly, snorted through his nose, clenched his fists then
stormed off to his room.  Within half an hour he was walking up Bourbon
street, wondering how to kill an evening before he became, Lestat the spy.
He didn't care who he walked into, he pushed and shoved and cursed all his
way down the street, so that by the time he had turned around and looked
behind him the street was almost deserted.

He hmmmphed again, then walked back up the street again.  "Monsieur,
monsieur, please don't be so antagonistic, you are scaring away all our
patrons."  An angry bouncer had confronted him, and was trying to block his
way.  Lestat shoved him aside, knocking him down.  He considered having  him
for supper, but changed his mind when he saw everyone looking down on him
from the balconies.

He slunk into a bar, sat in a dark booth and sulked.  The aura of evil that
emanated from his little corner ensured that no one came near him.    The
next evening, rested and slightly calmer he headed back to hide behind some
bushes near his apartment.  He sat on the ground, brought his knees up and
rested his head on them.  Nothing happened for the whole evening, Louis
never left the apartment and there was no sign of Armand or Santino.  The
rising sun was the only thing that caused him to leave his hidey hole.

The next evening he was back, watching the lights flick on in the living
room, and Louis looking out the window.   Lestat was beginning to wonder if
anything untoward was actually going to happen when he became aware of a car
slowing down.  He stood up and peered through the foliage.  It was David,
with a bag in his hand and a smile on his face.  Louis was at the door, they
embraced.  Lestat punched a hole in the fence behind him.

7:
It was like he was rooted to the ground.  His legs didn't want to move, his
breathing was laboured and he could feel trickles of sweat careening down
his spine.  "Damn you, Louis!" he cursed softly under his breath.  "Damn you
David, and what the hell are you doing here any way?"  This was all awry.
Louis hadn't been emailing, David, *he* had been emailing him.  There seemed
to be a hidden agenda here.  Something else has been going on behind *his*
back.  Louis must have contacted David directly and invited him over.

"Just wait till I get my hands on you two," he swore again and finding his
legs mobile again, headed on over to the building.  He shimmied up the
outside wall, like a spider, and leapt onto the balcony.  Voices were coming
from inside the living room.  Soft, friendly voices.

He crept over to the window and watched and listened.

"David, I'm so glad you could come."

David smiled and hesitating, just for a second, walked up to Louis, took him
in his arms and kissed him full on the lips.  Lestat could hear Louis
moaning loudly, saw his arms wrap around David and smelt the lust in the
air.  Or maybe the lust was emanating from him, he couldn't be sure.

"Louis, it was such a surprise to receive your emails, then the telephone
calls.  Are you sure Lestat is out of the way?"

"Don't worry, David.  He went off in a huff.  He won't be back for a night
or two at least.  That will give us plenty of time to get reaquainted."
Louis sounded as if he was purring as he said these last words and taking
David by the hand, led him through to the bedroom.

By this time, Lestat's face was  against the glass of the French doors, his
nose squashed flat, his hands clawing, as though he were trying to break
through, his knees trembling.  He watched them leave the room, craning his
neck until they had disappeared.  "Merde!, shit!  fuck!"

He pushed himself away from the window, nearly knocking over the outdoor
chair, and jumped off the balcony.  In a movement quicker than the eye could
see, he was clinging to the window sill of Louis' bedroom.  He could hear
murmurings and low moans, but couldn't quite see them.  He sidled himself
into a more comfortable position, then saw them under the covers of the bed.
He nearly let out a screech, but somehow managed to hold it in.  They were
writhing about in the bed, their naked feet sticking out, their hair tousled
and tangled, their hands....  Lestat moaned, lost his grip and tumbled down
to the street, flat on his back.  All the wind had been knocked out of him
and he lay gasping for air, staring up at the sky and two pairs of eyes
peering down at him, one pair brown, the other pair green.

He blinked a couple of times, sucked in a gulp of air, then jumped to his
feet.  ::Oh God, how had things gone so wrong?::  He felt like slinking back
into the bushes, but at the same time, felt like beating the crap out of his
two fledglings.  His indecision took hold as he stood there silently feeling
their eyes upon him.  No one had said a word.  Lestat shuffled his feet,
raked his hair back, brushed himself off and went to take a step.

"Evening, Lestat.  Have a nice flight?"

He spun around to find himself face to face with Armand and Santino, who,
arm in arm, were grinning like cheshire cats.

"What the..." his sentence was cut short as they grabbed him by the arms and
managed, somehow, to manhandle him inside the apartment.  He was still
struggling and swearing when David and Louis came downstairs.

"You've been having a bit of fun, lately, haven't you mon amour?" Louis said
to him, an evil grin on his face.

8:

Lestat found himself deposited unceremoniously on the floor in the middle of
the living room, as the four of them stared at him.  He looked from one set
of eyes to the other, twisting his head at an impossible angle, then back
again.  He was giving himself a head-ache.

"Um...what are you doing here?" he said to Armand and Santino, when he
eventually managed to find his voice.

"You invited us, Lestat.  In a round about way of course."

"But the emails were just a joke," Lestat answered lamely, waving his hands
about in the typical French manner.

"Hmmmmm, a joke, were they, Lestat?" Armand said to him gruffly, kneeling
down now in front of him.  "I'm not so sure that Santino will agree with you
there.  He did get rather a shock when I telephoned him, suggesting an
intimate rendezvous."

"You telephoned him?" Lestat gulped and tried to stand up.  Armand shoved
him down.

"Yes, and he was rather shocked, to say the least, and I was *VERY*
embarrassed.  Although it didn't really take that long to discover who the
culprit was."

Lestat was shaking his head and twisting his hands nervously.  "And how did
you do that, Armand?"

"I told him, Lestat." Louis said softly, but with a force to his voice that
made Lestat wince.

"Louis!  How...how did you find out?"

"Lestat, Lestat, Lestat.  You were soooo obvious, mon amour.  The secret
look on your face was enough to tell me you were up to no good.  I don't
have to read your mind, all I have to do is read your body language, and see
the glint of mischief in those grey eyes of yours."

"But you don't know the passwords to my email accounts, Louis."

"HAH!  They weren't exactly hard to guess, my precious.  Mojo, then Mojo 1.
Really!  Couldn't you have been a little more adventurous?"

"But, Louis.  My email accounts are private, you shouldn't have been
snooping."

Louis pulled him to his feet and with a strength that Lestat was not aware
Louis' possessed, and he pushed him back against the wall.  Then when they
were face to face, their noses touching, and Louis' finger was pushing into
his chest, he said.  "When you embarrass me like that, using David of all
people.  David, whom I respect and think of as a good friend, I have every
right to SNOOP!"

"But, Louis.  It was just a joke."

"Not a very *NICE* joke,"  Louis had grabbed Lestat by the front of his
shirt, and was pulling it hard, causing Lestat to wheeze slightly.  "I AM
VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.   DAVID IS EMBARRASSED AND ANGRY, AND ARMAND AND
SANTINO...  Well, I give them permission to do whatever they want with you,
then it will be David's and my turn.  DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"But, Louis.  You two were having sex, in your bed.  I saw you through the
window.  What was that all about?"

"That was just a little joke, Lestat.  We weren't really having sex, were we
David?"

David coughed and looked embarrassed, shaking his head a little too quickly.

"It looked like you were to me," Lestat whimpered, trying to make Louis feel
sorry for him.

"I said, Lestat, do you understand, that I am going to let Armand and
Santino, do what they like to you, then it's mine and David's turn."

"All right, Louis.  I'm sorry.  Can't you just laugh about it."

"Oh, we will have a laugh, Lestat.  But not about your joke.  He's all
your's Armand, Santino.  Do you worse."

"But, Louis.  Please.  This isn't fair...I was just having some fun..."

Lestat  tried to shove Louis out of the way, but Armand and Santino were far
too quick.  Santino knocked him to the floor, and deftly chained his wrists
together as Armand sat on him.  Lestat screeched and cursed and wriggled and
squirmed, but in a flash he found himself hanging uselessly from the rafter
in the hallway.

"What are you doing to me?   Don't be ridiculous.  Can't you guys take a
joke?"

"Stop whining, Lestat." Santino whispered into his ear.  "We're not going to
hurt you, MUCH."

Lestat continued squirming, as Armand began to undo his belt and pull his
trousers down.  He tried to kick him, so Santino knelt down and tied his
legs together.    "Stop wriggling, you idiot.  You'll only make this last
longer...although, looking at you now...I don't really think I will mind too
much."  Santino let his hand run across Lestat's bare backside, causing him
to shiver.  Lestat hissed, "Santino, for God's sake, stop it."

Armand smiled at Lestat, a most disarming, boyish smile, that belied the
malicious intent behind it.  "You have acted like a little kid, Lestat.  So
we are going to punish you like one.  Have you got the camera ready, Louis?"

Louis came around to the front of Lestat and held up the digital camera for
him to see.  "Louis, where did you get that from?"

"Oh, just a little trinket I picked up the other night.  I can put pictures
straight onto the computer with these," he said, with a smile that mirrored
Armand's.

"LOUIS!  Don't you dare."

"Oh, I will dare all right, Lestat.  Just you wait until you see the
fabulous web site  I have set up for these pictures.  I have put the name on
every search engine I can find, so *everyone* will be able to see your
embarrassment."

Lestat groaned out loud, then let out a shout as Santino began to flail his
bare buttocks with his own belt.  "OUCH!! That fucking hurts, you moron."

"Good, it's supposed to.  Now Louis, make sure you get his facial
expressions, and the enticing way he is wriggling his hips.  Oh and then you
had better come around the back as well, I am going to make lovely patterns
on his white bum."

"Arrgh!" Lestat squealed, as Santino began to thrash him hard. He tried to
bite his tongue to stop himself from crying out and tried desperately not to
wriggle his hips and buttocks.  But to no avail.  Santino was whipping him
too hard.  Little beads of sweat were running down the sides of his face,
and he felt himself blushing.  David and Armand were laughing so hard they
were on their knees on the floor, and Louis was finding it very hard to keep
the camera from jiggling about.  The grin on Santino's face was a sight to
behold.

When Santino finally finished, he handed the belt to Armand, who proceeded
to redden his bum a little more.  By the time Armand had finished and he was
holding his aching arm, Lestat's backside and thighs were a myriad of
colours, ranging from bright red, to livid purple.

"It's your turn, Louis and David," Armand said to them.  "I've had enough.
Santino, would you like to join me down the road for a bite?"

"With pleasure, Armand.  I really must thank you, Lestat, for bringing us
two together again, this has been such fun."

Lestat glared at him and snarled.  "Have fun boys," Armand called out to
them as they swaggered out the front door, hand in hand.

"Louis, this has gone too far.  Unchain me NOW."

"What!  Did you hear that, David?  He's giving me orders."

Louis came around to the front of Lestat and pushed a few sweaty locks of
hair off his face.  "You are in no position to be telling me what to do."

"But, Louis.  My bum hurts, my arms hurt, I'm cold.  Please let me down."

"What do you think, David?  Should we let him down?"

"Oh, not just yet, Louis.  I think a few more pictures for the album would
be nice."

..............the next evening.

Louis clicked on the computer screen and found the website,
www.vampireofmayhem.com, that he had been working on for a few hours.
Armand, Santino, do you want to have a look? It's all finished.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house as the four of them re-lived Lestat's
humiliation, then Armand and Santino let out even louder cries when they saw
the finale.

"We wondered what you did to him," Armand said.

"Perfect!" chuckled Santino, through his tears of laughter.

The little movie that was being played out on the screen, was of Lestat,
still chained to the rafters, completely naked now, his face a picture of
abject indignation.  David and Louis had put a Father Christmas hat on his
head, and tied a big red bow around his erect penis.   But it was the rear
view that created such an uproar.

Sticking out of his bum was a sprig of holly.

The End.